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JimCaedus · (07-14-2021)

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CAEDUS TIMELINE REWIND: In early September 2019 Jim Caedus had been released from a psychiatric hospital to which he'd been remanded and transported back home to Long Beach, CA. In his solitude Jim's thoughts quickly turned to APEX and his betrayal. His regretful reverie was interrupted however with the unexpected and uninvited arrival of his ex Holly Hudson who effectively sucked her way back into his life. Two weeks later it seemed Jim's patience with their physical arrangement had come to an end...then Holly announced she was pregnant. Surprisingly enough he embraced the situation, brushing over the past, and when last we saw the two it was three months into the pregnancy and they had just picked names for potential genders before Holly unleashed a serious question...

Continued directly from "Then and Now p.5" in "Stabbin' On Douchebag"
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=41300

---December 2019---
Naples Island, Long Beach, CA

When are you going to make ME an O'Connor?

::Record scratch::

"Then and Now p.6

Jim leans over sideways, gently but firmly removing Holly from his lap, forcing her to sit up. She playfully resists. Stop dude. Get up.

What? ...What's wrong?

Jim rises from the couch and walks into the kitchen.

Jimmy!

The sound of the 'fridge door opening and closing. The muted twist of a bottle cap... Jim walks back into the living room taking a long swig from an APEX IPA, snapping the cap into the trash like always.

Bitchmode. Why is it every time I try to talk to you about something important you grab a fucking beer like some drunk loser!?

'Cause you insist on fuckin' up every peaceful fuckin' moment with mind-blowing shit and I need a drink to drown out the psycho.

What's psycho about getting married!?

Should I start with the average marriage or stick to shit specific to your psycho ass?

What the FUCK Jimmy!?

What the fuck Holly? Exactly how many dicks were you drainin' when we were supposedly exclusive?? HOW MANY dicks you been hoppin' on since? You think I'd ever MARRY you!?

So what the fuck has all this been the past three months!? Huh!? ..ANSWER ME!!

I WOULD if you'd gimme more than a split fuckin' second!

Spit it the fuck out! What the FUCK have we been doing the past three months!?

WE ain't been doin' SHIT! YOU'VE been pushin' into my life and I'VE been wasting my FUCKING time! Holly goes silent, staring at Jim with a hurt expression. Don't gimme that shit. I ain't the one who was suckin' every dick from L.A. to the Bay. Matter of fact...how the fuck do I even know this baby is mine? I want a blood tes-

SLAPS him. FUCK YOU!!

Holly storms to the front door and flings it open before turning. Fuck you Jimmy O'Connor.

Fuck you too Holly Whore.

As she storms out. FUCKING LOSER!!

Cum-dumpster ass SLUT!!

SLAM!!!

Jim, frowning, turns to throw the bottle at the wall. It shatters, splashing white foamy head all over a poster of Roxy Cotton. FUCK!

Snatching up a recently purchased shirt of Holly's he jogs over and wipes the poster down. When he's finished he backs up and takes a seat on the coffee table. He peers up at the memorabilia on the wall, his eyes drifting to the pictures of him, Drew and Main...his gaze remains for several seconds...

At once Jim shoves his hand into his pocket, cursing at the difficulty to remove whatever it is from said pocket in a sitting position and eventually pulls his smartphone free.

Scrolling through his contacts and slowing...his thumb hovers over the name ROBERT MAIN.

To be continued
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"Mickey Mouse Horseshit"

---July 2021---
Naples Island, Long Beach, CA

The front double doors of Jim Caedus's house open and the man himself saunters out, locks the doors then turns, a huge smile across his face.

Parked in front of his domicile is a semi with the words APEX ENGINEERING painted along the sides of the trailer in bold gold lettering. The trailer doors swing open, a ramp extends and lowers. Jim heads around to watch...

...as some as of yet unidentified middle aged white male walks a chopper off the ramp and onto the street.

[Image: BNbiXBp.jpg]

Hooooly SHIT! He looks better than he did before Page took the sledgehammer to 'im! Stu...you do fantastic work my friend.

Well the damage wasn't all that extensive, it only took the team a week to restore both to the original Apex model quality. Really what took so long were those custom design additions you asked for.

Mischievous grin. Heh heh heh... Yeah, I'd love to see someone fuck with our bikes now. Running his hand down the smooth exterior. Hey, ya didn't add the new name.

Oh yes I did. See the patches on either side? Remove them.

Jim does as he's told, pinching the slightly upraised corner of one previously unseen patch and pulling it free. Beneath, a fresh paint edition emblazoned on the right side reads:

EWRECKTION

As he removes the patch on the left side. Fuckin' perfect. Got my boner bike. I love you Stu. Where's the Maniac's chopper?

On it's way for delivery as we speak. Robert should be receiving his today. Shall I give you the rundown on what buttons do what?

Tapping an index finger on his head. Unnecessary. Steel trap bro, they were my idea.

Right on. So what's the plan?

Mounting Ewrecktion. Headed to Disneyland. Gonna scout out the location for my match next Wednesday. I transferred the funds for both bikes to your account Stu.

Thank you sir. And here ya go. Tosses Jim the keys.

Catching the keys, starting up the bike with a RUMBLE. Loudly. THANKS AGAIN STU! SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA BROTHER!

Jim roars off, Stu waving...

---Sometime later...---

We catch Jim merging then zooming along on the 22 freeway heading east, deftly weaving between vehicles. Wearing no helmet, Jim's long blonde hair trails behind him, whipping in the wind, his navy blue bandanna tied around his nose and mouth, a pair of black Locs over his eyes.

Occasionally we HEAR vehicle occupants shouting out to him from open windows, running the range from "YO JIM!!" to "FUCK YOU CAEDUS!!". He ignores them all-

-that is until he's forced to slow in reaction to a sudden build up of traffic appearing far ahead.

"Hey Jimmy," shouts a female voice!

Jim turns his head to regard some chick in her 20s waving from a Mustang with the top down.

Whuttup baby? Returning his attention to the road before him- FUCK!! -an old VW bug screeches to a halt in his lane, rear-ending a white Ford truck. Boxed in with nowhere to go left or right and still rolling far too fast to break in time, Jim flips the lid off a switch on the right handlebar and gasses Ewrecktion to raise the front wheel.

The bike rolls up on the back of the VW bug and Jim presses the switch. A burst of NOS launching Ewrecktion off the bug and into the air like a ramp, Jim and his bike soaring upward over the truck and the line of 3 vehicles ahead of it.

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!

Arcing back down to the freeway surface, the rear wheel contacts the concrete before the front wheel slams down, Jim struggling to maintain balance with the impact before gaining full control again and gunning it, accelerating away from the pile up behind him.

---Some more time later...---

Jim rumbles Ewrecktion into the Disneyland parking structure and picks a parking spot, rolling to a stop and killing the engine. He removes his bandanna and Locs, placing the rag in his pocket and sliding the Locs onto his plain tight white T shirt collar.

Stepping away, Jim turns, aims the fob attached to the bikes keys and presses a button. Instantly, much like the Batmobile, a layer of armor formerly and inexplicably hidden within the bike extends and envelopes the machine, wheels and all. Jim offers a lopsided "fuck I'm cool" smile then spins and heads for the parking structure egress leading to the Magic Kingdom...

To be continued...
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[Image: vncJygG.jpg]

I was gonna go with Hugo's "99 Problems" for the cold start Trash Track here but it ain't altogether apt is it? I mean, I definitely got 99 problems and that ain't up for debate:

-my stablemates in APEX think I'm a traitor and I can't blame 'em. They're wrong...but I can't blame 'em and I damn sure don't believe I'll be convincin' 'em any time soon. If ever

-the Legacy portion of APEX-LEGACY is currently made up 'a:

>>>one parts disgruntled lil' sis who seems to be makin' choices that would help ~~BoB~~ and hinder her own potentially disowned super-stable

>>>two parts "avengers" vehemently defyin' the concept 'a team as they serve no purpose other than hit & miss run-in participation. And if either Raven or Warstein got beef with me sayin' that, they can meet me in the ring for some interstable grudge matchery intended to squash said beef and bond. Been waitin' to see how I'd fare against Jimbo one on one and as for Shawn, he's been nothin' but a disrespectful prick towards APEX and I'm done bein' mum on the subject. B-T-W, F-T-R, I'm aware most would state I have little to no room to criticize after my meltdown betrayal in 2019 but I'm sayin' it anyway. Then is then, now is now and APEX-LEGACY is my family no matter what anyone may say or think

Still...

-~~BoB~~ has obviously been runnin' roughshod over Legacy ties to APEX as far as Betsy is concerned. I honestly have no idea how that inexplicably uninterrupted twenty fuckin' minutes 'a fatboy Bourbs bitchin' 'bout Raven with the Impossible Traveler at his mercy the whole time took place so sus perfect but it did and it damn sure did it's damage. Then ya got Page crucifyin' Drewski and handin' The Omega and I- AND our rides -our collective asses. Now those pricks have again slipped through the astronomical odds and were allowed to successfully assemble a Team ~~BoB~~ for War Games while Betsy, Main and I were thoroughly broken up...and Bets' is a captain, go figure...

Anyway...

-I got asshole fans comin' at me left and right with the scrutiny and accusations

-I got newly trusted comrades and former friends in the fed alike fallin' off and bendin' corners to avoid me

-Shit, there's a general air 'a distrust and spite surroundin' my ass and it's been there, growin', since the Leap 'a Faith hype cycle. With the exception 'a Dick Powers and Team Dick (love you fam the 2nd), I seem to legitimately define persona non grata in my own stable and the XWF Universe

l-o-l Fuck it...

It ain't like I haven't been here before. In fact, I accomplished my greatest achievements here alone and avoided.

I also see no reason to continue on with this list and give those accusin' Caedus of "verbal diarrhea" another reason while they themselves squat and drop deluge after deluge 'a dogshit. The point is- despite how little I'm gonna allow this all to affect me beyond venting and exacting my own cold blooded private justice where and when applicable -I do have an avalanche 'a problems and to say "a bitch ain't one" would be unforgivably foolish.

Yeah, I've been hearin' from what few fans and fed employees still speakin' to me have been sayin' since last Wednesday; I've overheard the comments en route through the halls 'a the promotion. For anyone to assume I'd underestimate any opponent-

EVER

-is one thing. Thing bein' an insult. Fuck you.

To think I'd take Lycana lightly after the events 'a the tag match is a slap to the face in context with my intelligence. I may make mistakes strategically but I don't tend to repeat 'em. All any 'a you did was witness what happened, I actually experienced it. As short-lived in comparison to the overall match length as it may have been, I'm the one who caught the receivin' end of 'er wrath at wreckin' the weak link loser ever beside 'er. And I mean, alleged sabotage of Marf or not, I still woulda whipped 'is ass; I have his number without question.

Tavora however...she clearly caught me off guard, won me over with 'er wolf pussy wiles, and I can't blame anyone but myself for that. To have defeated former and current Universal Champions is an impressive feat deservin' of respect. True, with each 'a those victories came the variables of interference but she deserves credit nonetheless and she proved it by manhandlin' me in the match. Winded or not, I took the wrong avenue of attack with her.

I cannot and will not allow that to happen again. Which segues into my next point...

Mistaken strategy or not I thought what I was doin' was correct, so to think I wouldn't take a match seriously in which the victor claims the Xtreme Title is downright ludicrous. The X has been on my bucket list since signin' up back in 2016, as is every. Single. Championship. I have yet to claim.

Not only will that strap catapult me closer to the heights I'm accustomed to but followin' the required number 'a defenses, it'll earn me what would be my third 24/7 Briefcase, allowin' me to more than likely claim gold for APEX-LEGACY.

That means regainin' respect.

It means edgin' towards redemption in the eyes 'a Robert and Drew.

Returnin' the name 'a Caedus to acclaim.

Vindicatin' my #6 position on the Top 50 Of All Time and climbin' higher.

Provin' the ever-growin' ironically nutless peanut gallery critics wrong.

It means I have to approach my opponent in a new way and ultimately set out not to assault 'er with sexuality...but intent to slaughter.

It means I have to follow through and cripple this cunt if I have to in a cage above Goofy's Sky School to get my hands on that belt and I intend to do just that. The fact doesn't escape me that the last man to face Lycana in a cage match ended up immolated and I never discount the potential for trickery from opponents proven to cheat to win. If Marf shows up, I'll finish whatever it is whomever it was started and end his career for good. As for Lycana, I'll be treatin' 'er as the target she truly is. The Mickey Mouse horseshit with Hecate's whore ends here and I don't give a fuck what she attempts to hit me with be it false flattery, feral feminine fuckery or concrete cock suckery, I'm ballin' this bitch into leg-shakin' shut-down and escapin' the cage for X gold if I have to legit crush the cunt's cranium through the cage like paranormal play-doh.

And I will.

Happily.

With a fuckin' hard-on ya howlin' hairy hooker.

Far as I'm concerned you made a fool 'a me the last time and I aim to return the favor with furious flavor. There won't be a pathetic partner to absorb the punishment this round. There won't be anywhere to hide in that cage and you won't be startin' with a winded Jim. As impressive as you may be...you're gonna experience what I'm capable of unhinged, dead set and fresh. You can preemptively strike or clap back in response to history lessons (as would anyone whose own history is littered with more Ls than Ws) but my current win loss ratio is around 75% successful and that ain't arguable, it's a fact spelled

W
A
T
C
H

Y
O
U
R

A
S
S
.

People tell me not to underestimate you...

If anyone should be told to deflate and take stock 'a the sitch, it's the werewolf witch last seen callin' 'erself invincible right before a fuckin' team loss and, judgin' by the size of 'er ego -more than likely STILL feelin' 'erself to a degree beggin' for a karmic killin'.

You thwarted my traps and taunts last time, this time I'm fightin' fire with fire. This whole lack 'a loosin' ammo-gainin' gunshots down range at me everyone seems to be leanin' on lately demands I adapt in kind. Starve me, I'll starve you. And by the time the killshot comes, it'll be too late for you to turn back and avoid it.

I'll be bitin' your nipples off before I've finished with you Lycana.

You think I'm bein' colorful.

Nah. Fuck the color.

I'm comin' to kill you and take that X title from around your waist.

Period.

When I say Get Wet, I'm talkin' the crimson coursin' down your headless fuckin' neck.

XXXYXOXUXRXEXXXDXEXAXDXXXBXIXTXCXHXXX

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