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JimCaedus · (07-07-2021)

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CAEDUS TIMELINE REWIND: Holly just dropped the pregnancy bomb on Jim back in late September 2019. Is he on board? Or will he deadbeat dad the issue and walk away from the situation entirely?

Continued directly from "Then and Now p.4" in "Pissin' Out Flames"
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=41291

"Then and Now p.5"

We're having a baaaaabyyyyy. Holly plants a wet kiss on his lips...kinda mouth rapin' him. His expression definitely reads that way anyway. Finally she pulls back, gazing into his eyes. A family. Lays her head on his pecs.

Jesus fuckin' Christ... Why the fuck did I walk away from the XWF...

Aren't you happy babe?

Am I? ......

......

Drawing back, a look of fear washing over her. Jimmy?

I did always want to raise a kid...

Jimmy??

Say somethin' you idiot.

Looking her in the eye. ...Yeah...I am. A smile crosses his face.

...Are you sure?

Yeah baby. I am.

Holly sighs happily, returning her head to his chest. Jim...continues smiling...

Holy shit. ...I really am.

He embraces her back.

---3 Months Later---
December 2019

We're havin' a gummi bear.

Holly laughs as they study the first ultrasound printout, cuddled up on the living room couch.

Awwww, a gummi bear cub.

When do we know the gender?

They said around 20 weeks.

Make me a boy, baby. A little Jimmy Jr.

Is that what you want to name him if it's a boy? Jimmy Jr.?

Fuckin' A. Gotta leave my legacy.

What if it's a girl?

Jimma.

Laughs. Shut the fuck up. Really though.

Looking off into space in thought. Uhhhh.........somethin' oceany.

What the hell does that mean?

Y'know, oceany. Watery. But not some dumbass hippy shit like River or Rain.

Shella.

Azure.

Cove.

Ariel.

I love Little Mermaid!

Well yeah. You're a chick.

You love Little Mermaid too.

Wait! ...I got it... Elora.

Like Princess Elora from Willow?? (And FYI, if you don't know the 80s movie Willow, shame on you. It has midgets guys. Midgets. MAGIC midgets.)

Little Elora Danan.

It's perfect! What about her middle name?

Is it ok if I use my mom's? Elora Lynn.

Babe...what if we combined your mom AND dad's middle names? ...Errolyn. Elora Errolyn O'Connor.

Now THAT...is perfect. Elora Errolyn O'Connor.

I love it baby. I fuckin' love it.

Setting the ultrasound on the coffee table and laying across his lap. Me too. It's perfect. ...Babe?

What baby.

When are you going to make ME an O'Connor?

::Record scratch::

TO BE CONTINUED...

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"The Call In Central Park"

---July 6, 2021---
Central Park, Manhattan, NY

The time is nearing 10 pm but Jim hasn't yet left Central Park, instead walking aimlessly staring at the ground before each step he takes. In fact, he seems to be stewing over the incident earlier in the day with dad bod heckling him over being an alleged traitor in context with APEX.

As if on cue, Jim pulls his smartphone from his pocket and searches through his contacts and tapping the phone icon on one name in particular then raising the device to his ear.

Seconds later-

Bob-O... Hey brother. ...
Walkin' around Central Park. What about you? ............ Actually, now that you mention your match with 'im, I wanted to talk to you about that bro. You and Drew don't...like...think my attending services for Thaddeus's mom was a betrayal do you? ..................... Jim halts. I mean, we were all in Ax3 together and it was for his mother man. ......... Ok, I can see where you're comin' from with that; I can't really argue. I guess I just wasn't thinkin' bro. ...... I told you guys before, I wouldn't trade APEX for anyone else and I meant it. On my life. You're the closest friend I ever had Robert and Andrew is right there. This isn't a recurrence. ...... Wait, what? ... Lycana? ...... In the tag match? ... The promo cycle too. ..................... Well, I can't deny I dig 'er kinda but that was purely psych warfare bro. As far as the match, I- ......... I held her back from breakin' up the pin didn't I? ......... Yeah, it did seem a little lopsided but I mean, she caught me a bit winded from whippin' Marf's ass. ......... Oh hell no bro, c'mon, I went easy on 'er? Watch what happens with my match with 'er in two weeks. ...... Yo, if I honestly made you look bad it was unintentional brother and I apologize. ...... Who's calling? ... Oh, ok no worries my dude, you should take it. ...Are we cool? ...... Alright. ... Alright. ...... For sure, have a good night brother. ...

Jim places the phone back into his pocket and continues walking, heading for a dark corner in the near distance...

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"Shattering Mirrors"

A brain is a funny kind 'a thing.

Some people have one but refuse to use it. Like you Thrax Charlie Nickles and whomever else you may or may not switch to with your typical nutless actions in the XWF. Nutless actions a dumb fuckin' flaccid baby dick lardass like yourself fails to ever realize are pointless when you consider the fact it's still you walkin' down to the ring. Nutless actions you skeetered out in the Leap 'a Faith hype cycle but ultimately ended up nailed in the cycle and dead durin' the match. Nutless actions like botchin' your own promo upload to the air like the dizzy dipshit you are then decidin' to go with it, like the asshole refusin' to ever learn a lesson you are, and uploadin' twice again under two separate names as if no one noticed your mistake. That seems to be a thing with you, never ownin' up. You instead instantly move to blame someone else for your own inadequacy. It ain't surprisin' however, that does fit with the absolute coward you've damn sure been since I waltzed back into the fed. I also noticed you spend a helluva lotta time tellin' people you fooled 'em- naturally myself included -and how they lost track 'a you while you never lost track 'a yourself.

Hey dumbass?

YOU don't know who the fuck you are. Remember? How long have you been slingin' that amateur ass multiple personalities gimmick? Did you add a fourth name to that circlejerkery? Wasn't it Thrax? Don't you have a history 'a playin' pussy conveniently switchin' names?

Who lost track 'a you again?

Motherfucker you're so lost on who the hell you are you ACCIDENTALLY uploaded your initial promo package under the wrong name. And stick your lame attempts to cast doubt on my words Over Onerous Content you seem oh so butthurt about up your ropey twat ya whiney lil' bitch. We all upload our videos to the XWF airwaves and it should go without sayin' each is stamped by the talent uploading said content. What's wrong wuss? Can't handle Caedus?

No one lost track 'a you. Everyone calls you out on what you do, you don't surprise anyone and no one gives a shit anymore what antics you're up to. Why? It never amounts to a victory and you suck at this. Your own former ally Jimson slammed you over your incompetence, that tell you anything? Anything at all?

S
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I
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You're literally the only person you impress you fuckin' imbecile. You're the only person to blame for your failures. Why the hell does it feel like I'm facin' Chaos all over again with the self-projectin' insults and inability to recognize you yourself are the self sabotaging shithead here? Self sabotage like your excuse for showin' up after death.

Your retcon for revival is

magical horseshit dreamt up in the dullard mind of a moron.

Period.

You don't trick anyone asshat, you trick yourself into believing you trick people. I called you out on consistently switchin' shit up, that's EXACTLY what you did, like you ALWAYS do. That ain't a trick you clueless cocksucker, that's called a

ROUTINE.

Routines allow people like me to capitalize on cunts like you.

The majority inconsequential details can be as "different" as you want but it all comes from the same camp you unbelievably STUPID sack 'a lack 'a balls. You can call a coiled pile 'a steamin' dogshit whatever name you wish, it's still dogshit.

You're far beyond dogshit now though ain'tcha... YouTube clips I uploaded? Fuck you talkin' about? You're questionin' me on likening the very little attention paid to you by others in comparison to TikTok video lengths? You can't grasp the concept of time wasted on viewin' your content? Christ, you're swingin' a lower IQ than I previously assumed.

That must be why you spent so much time yakkin' on my accolades as if that's some kinda linguistic haymaker. That was from a bygone era right? You really wanna go there? You wanna veer into oncomin' traffic over current era accomplishments?

K. I'm game.

Since I came back I'm 1 and 1.

Since I came back you, regardless 'a costume change, dumped a match to Rel, died in the Leap of Faith and just lost the War Games captain match on Savage. That's 0 and 3. I may be 50/50 win wise but you have nothin' to talk about bitch. You wanna disregard my past accolades, I'm disregardin' anything you've done since before I made my return. See how that logic works? You happy you brought that up, 'cause right about now that torpedoes the meat and potatoes 'a your second promo.

Y'know what though? Let's go ahead and set fire to it all anyway...

Got a problem with me usin' harsh language and urgin' you to kill yourself? You're a menace who kidnapped some dude durin' your hype cycle with Chris Page. Yeah, kill yourself. I guess you clearly haven't noticed the shade creepin' onto Caedus designatin' I dip between fair and dirty play. Not to mention, there is no killin' you, remember? You'll just keep comin' back. So really, whadda my words amount to other than you givin' yourself a reason to retcon again and again? Nice try though.

What wasn't a nice try was you alludin' to me as "old man" and senile and yadda yadda yadda. Dickhead, you look about 20 years older than me, look at yourself in the mirror lately? Oh right, it's Lycana you see in your reflection...which is actually pretty apt when ya think about it considerin' you have no cock and balls nor a spine and are absolutely more bitch than man.

The type 'a bitch who thinks that because I have a tally sheet I'm constantly remindin' people 'a my accomplishments. Tell me, how often have you seen me legit namedrop the J.

Federweight Scramble? Has it been constant in the now twelve promos I've uploaded since returnin'?

Yeah. Shut the fuck up.

Rinse and repeat with your next "attacks":

Those other two stars included in the 3 Way Star of the Month? They both lost to me in Lethal Lottery 4, so no, there was no Caedus bottoming for anyone. I guess all the research you did was as half-assed as everything else you try to pull, prick. Your flaccid attempts to talk shit on what you can't talk shit on displays just how desperately you're graspin' at straws. My listin' myself as a proud final opponent for one of Barney Green's retirements wasn't a brag. That's called showin' respect. Next you dismiss the 24/7 briefcase as a title for my triple title holder listin'. Guess what? Holdin' a 24/7 briefcase earns you the title 'a Mr. or Mrs. 24/7. For a guy who enjoys makin' 'imself sound so intelligent it appears you get caught up on semantics and can't fathom the concept 'a multiple definitions for a single word. Jackass. You shit on my Universal Championship.

Guess what? You've never been Uni Champ. Your criticisms mean what you don't possess: dick. Oh, and the ability to say you were or are the Universal Champ, an accolade you will NEVER achieve.

And speakin' of achievements and, what was it you said, a push? What is Jim Caedus doin' now? Well for the moment I'm slaughterin' you with words before I pummel you physically in the ring. Next Warfare I'll be facin' off against Lycana. You know what that means right? For the X Title. Hmmm, sounds like there's plenty in store for Jim Caedus. What push is in store for you again?

Jesus, jag-off, can you make a single insult stick?

Like how you tryta say I've spent 5 years in the XWF with only two promos of the month awards. Try again anus. Collectively I've been active on the roster for less than 2 years. So that's 2 promos 'a month in a year plus.

Do the math, muppet.

1 plus 2 equals suck my fat cock and choke on it. While you're at it, cradle my balls and dream 'a the days you used to have your own set.

You concluded your definitive SECOND waste of a promo by braggin' on your TV Title reign and pissin' on my own UNDEFEATED run. Again, you suck at research. No one ever beat me for the Television Title, I dropped it for the Universal. You? You lost it to someone else because you were too pathetic and cowardly to move on to the next best belt, instead focusin' on 24/7 titles neither 'a which were the Xtreme. Fanfuckin'tastic, man-tits, you truly set the fed on fire with that.

This is exactly what I'm talkin' about, you ain't shit and every bit 'a ammo you aim at me is irrefutably more appropriate to apply to yourself. You went from the TV title to nothing, numbnuts.

Nothing.

I went from the TV to the top.

You doubt I'm the favorite to win this match?

Of course you do, you think you fool people and you're hot shit around here. You think anything you say to the man OTHER PEOPLE refer to as legendary, the man with a tally sheet long enough to choke a giraffe, the man who has an Xtreme Title match in two weeks while you ain't doin' shit but losin' left and right...you think anything you say to me is damning?

It is.

It's condemned you to failure once again. I'd love to say for the last time but you seem set on rackin' up as many humiliations and losses as possible...and I'm more than happy to add one more, I'm fuckin' hard as a rock over it.

You go ahead and tryta sound credible even loosin' limp insults over dick size and pussy points as the dude whose own bitch had to run to Lycana for a love potion just to GET FUCKED for. And yet, he never got fucked. Well, not in the carnal consensual sense anyway.

He did get fucked in Leap of Faith.

He did get fucked on Savage.

And now...

He's gonna get fucked on Warfare by the biggest dick on the roster.

XXXYXOXUXXXFXAXIXLXEXDXXXAXGXAXIXNXXX

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