“AYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

The sound of a ring being landed on, HARD, fills the air as the camera lens shakes. When it settles, we are looking at a wall. Obviously the ring is off camera.

A second later, the mountain of a man known as Big Preesh steps in front of the camera with a white gym towel around his broad shoulders, wiping away droplets of sweat from his brow.

“Listen up, HOMAYS! Big Preeshy here to give the good word, ya dig? Anarchy is gonna get BOUT IT BOUT IT this week because MY BOI Big Money fiddina take that strap and bring it back to the BOB compound for a cocaine party fulla nekkid skrippers and bottles of DOM PERIGNON! And you know what else? Before that, YOU KNOW WHO got the pleasure of whoopin’ up on some goth kid who done got lost at a Cure concert and wandered into Anarchy! BONUS! Preesh got a new move, you feel me? Been practicing it all day, SON!”

Preesh stands proudly and then digs his cell phone out of a pile of drenched towels on a nearby table.

“Hmmm… no call back from Miss Fury yet? Damn, she must be busy AF to not call PREESHY. I been waiting for weeks!”

He dials again, having to only press a single redial button because this is obviously the one number he calls often. He waits while the phone rings.

“AY! It’s me again, Big Preesh! Still ain;t got my membership card in the mail, so I haven’t been able to get into the compound NAHMEEEEEEEEEEEEN? Give ya boy a buzz, I need that shit before Thursday so me and Ozzy can celebrate the big wins for BOB! HOLLAAAAA!”

Preesh sets the cell back down in the soggy towels. The towel around his neck is now nearly as wet from those on the table, because the man is a sweat factory. He drops the neck towel onto the pile and pulls a new one from a bin.

“Anyway, I’mma beat this crackajack’s ass on Thursday. God of Death? HA! Ain’t even the god of this DICK, boyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

He hits the eeeeeeeeeeeeeee part of boyeeeeeeeeeeeeee in a really high pitched voice. It’s kind of impressive really.

“Back to the ring I go. Better watch out, GD, because one this freight train hits the tracks there ain’t no hope for you. You’re gonna get SONNED on Anarchy! AND YOU KNOW THIS, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”

Preesh flashes some sort of gang symbol with his hand and gets back in the ring off screen. A few seconds later the loud bang rocks the camera again, and as it shakes the scene fades out.