If love is a cult we are all believers, Cruel, passionate underachievers. Fools lashing out at the dreamers, Kiss the enemy and kill the redeemer. We are indeed a dying breed, We are the people of the sky. So when the river floods and you're made from mud, Get yourself up high....

The steady rumble of the Impala’s engine is our opening tune as we find Marf behind the wheel, squinting his eyes and trying to keep them open while on the road. Damien and Reika are passed out in the backseat while Lycana softly snores in the front passenger seat. Marf grabs a nearby water bottle to take a swig but it’s empty. He crumples it in his hand before lobbing it over into Lycana’s lap. As it bounces off and hits the floor mat she opens her eyes and yawns. She turns and looks over at Marf who acts surprised to see her awake.

Well good morning! I was wondering when you were going to get up ya sleepyhead!

How long was I out?

Oh I’d say a solid five hours at least!

Lycana mumbles through a response while turning and looking out the window. Something didn’t seem right but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. As she stared out into the vast nothingness of land and trees from the passenger window she wondered why they had been travelling this long for a simple camping trip. Slowly, almost in a daze she turns back to Marf who is smiling and bobbing his head to absolutely no music.

Why are we driving all the way to Canada?

Its my home silly, you know that!

I know...but we’re just going camping, why all the way up North?

Marf pouts for a moment while Lycana eyes him suspiciously.

I need to go home anyway so why not get two birds stoned at once?

Marf presses on the gas and the car speeds up, heading uphill now.

Two birds...the fuck? What do you mean you need to go home? Why?

Marf cranes his neck and looks directly at Lycana now. His normally beautiful blue eyes for some reason are more of a yielding yellow. Lycana pushes herself up against the door and window subconsciously.

I need to go home, it’s calling...Marf needs...I need to go back home...an old friend needs some help...

Oooookaaaaay, what the actual fuck? And why aren’t you watching the damn road!?

Marf continues to go on with a sadistic grin while staring at her.

Everything is fine...such a silly little worrier! Oops...uh oh!

Lycana screams out as Marf turns back to look out the windshield in time to see the front end smash through the weak guardrail and over the edge. The impala sails through the air before crashing down into some trees, exploding into a massive fireball. Marf feels his entire body jolt and he snaps awake, leaning on the window in the passenger seat. The shitty, likely stolen Volkswagen hits a pothole which causes Marf to wake from his strange dream. He looks around and Lycana peeks at him while behind the wheel driving.

Marf sits up and looks around before adjusting himself. He looks in the back and spots Damien and Reika, outcold and sleeping peacefully. He looks back at Lycana and attempts to rub the sleep from his eyes. He stretches out and gets himself comfortable.

We’re about thirty minutes away I think. Did you have a good nap?

Yeah it was fine. Thanks for driving.

She glances over at him with a small smile.

You’re welcome. You needed the rest.

She puts her eyes back on the road, humming softly under her breath. Marf glances back over to her and then looks into the back seat and chuckles softly.

Not as much as these two it seems!

A light snort comes from Lycana as she peeks into the rear view mirror, Reika curled with her head on her sleeping bag, a peaceful expression on her face. Meanwhile, Damien had his head thrown back, a snore emanating from his throat every so often.

We have a crazy life, don’t we?

She remarks, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

To say the least. But to be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

He spots her smile and smirks himself while watching her.

You sure about that?

There is a note of incredulity in her voice, as she thinks of all the things he had been dragged into since meeting her. Between the Left Hand, werewolves, adult toddler they had adopted, an incubus, and all other kinds of fuckery, she was shocked he had not run screaming long ago.

Absolutely. We have each other’s backs through all the insanity we both seem to live. I’m glad to be partners with you.

He can tell by her tone she is being self conscious and tries his best to subtly assure her. A look flickers across her face, quickly gone. His words meant more to her than he knew.

Always, in and out of the ring.

He smiles at her and nods with assurance.

So, after the camping trip we gotta buckle down and get ready for Warfare. Those two knuckle draggers have proven they’re not the sharpest tools in that old rundown veteran shed. But they’ll still be throwing some heavy fists are way. Gotta rest while we can...

I’m sure this trip will be... relaxing.

Sarcasm. She hated camping so much.

We haven't seen much out of them in the ring since they’ve been back... And as for their promos so far.

She makes a sound low in her throat, clearly not impressed.

I know. Pure filth. That’s the best these two alleged legends can throw at us? Christ...

Marf shakes his head mostly in annoyance. He reaches out a hand and places it on her shoulder for a light squeeze before withdrawing it.

They only wish they could find a girl even half as attractive as you they didn’t have to put for. Pathetic slobs.

I’m honestly surprised that’s the direction they would go and...

She blinks. And blinks again as his words slowly register. He thought she was attractive? A blush slowly starts to creep over her cheeks. Dammit.

...ahh. Umm. It's sad that’s... all they... have?

She finishes up lamely, sneaking a peek at him. He notices her face becoming flushed and cocks his head at her.

Why...are you blushing?

She didn’t feel put on the spot at all. She studies the road as if it had become the most interesting thing in the world. Thank goodness it was totally dead.

Blushing? It’s... warm in the car.

She feels her face heat up even more.

Well, after what happened...

What was she doing? She considers opening the door and just bailing out. Marf shifts in his seat so he can fully face her. He places his fist under his chin and stares at her.

After what happened?

She grips the steering wheel harder, leaning forward to stare at the road.

It's hot in here.

She pokes at the buttons on the dashboard, even though the heat is clearly not even on, managing to fill the car with the wonderful sounds of “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer. She smacks at it again, turning it off as she hunkers back into her seat. She glances at his expectant face. She had no choice now.

The... thing. That night. You know? But uhh, Main and Caedus... yeah...

She tries to evade. It doesn’t work, Marf smirks and nods slowly, acting like he just now got it.

The kiss?

And there it was, out in the open. She swallows, wondering why her heart was racing.

Yeah.

Her voice was soft, as she takes a deep breath and plunges headfirst into it.

Why?

He runs his hand through his beard for a moment before continuing.

Did it make you uncomfortable?

Not the response she had been expecting, answering a question with another question. She slows the car slightly, so that she can look at him for a few seconds.

No, not uncomfortable. I was...

She pauses.

Surprised.

He cocks an eyebrow up at the response he wasn’t expecting to hear.

How come it surprised you?

She fidgets nervously. Why did she go and open her big mouth again?

I didn’t think that you felt...

She clears her throat.

That you would...

And again.

That you wanted to. Do that. To me.

She just kept burying herself deeper. He eyes her up and down inquisitively for a few seconds.

Of course I do. I care a lot about you. You’re my partner, not just in the ring either...

Marf cuts himself off, worrying he’s making a fool of himself.

But...

Her mind struggles to process this bit of information.

There's partners and then there's... more. I imagine most partners don’t kiss each other unless there are feelings involved, or desire and... this is awkward, isn't it?

Understatement of the century award.

Just a tad...but there’s definitely feelings involved. And I’m pretty sure those feelings are mutual unless I’m drastically mistaken here.

He holds his breath, awaiting to see if her response will be as uplifting as he believes. Or if it will shatter these potential disillusionments...

You... You have...

This was not a conversation to have while driving. Lycana steadies the wheel, having fumbled a little bit. She glances in the mirror once more. Lucky those two slept like the dead, or this would be even more awkward than it already was. She could hear Damien’s voice in her head as it was. ‘Tell him.’ But the damn thought of saying the words out loud...

I...

Terrifying. Her heart thudded. It was such a simple thing to admit. But she had been hiding it, to the point she was about unaware of its existence for so long....

I...

She was really fucking awful at this. With a huff, she puts on the brakes, gently as to not awaken their now, for her, very unwanted companions, pulling to the side. She turns to face him with an awkward hand motion, blurting it out.

I do have feelings for you.

Marf does his best to keep up his calm facade while being taken completely aback with her last statement. The rests at the side of the road while they sit in an awkward silent moment.

It’s relieving to hear you say that...I was sure until I wasn’t sure and I just pushed forward and...well...

Marf gets flustered before Lycana rests her gentle hands on his big shoulders. They stare at one another and slowly begin to move closer. Marf goes to lean in for the kiss. He’s inches away when a voice pipes up from behind them.

Ewwww are you guys kissing!? That’s so gross you’re going to infest the car with cooties open the windows!

Marf fumbles and leans back in his seat as calmly as he can while smiling sheepishly at Reika. She glares at them both with that accusatory face while Lycana checks the road and then pulls off the shoulder and back onto the road. Reika settles back down, keeping one eye open. Lycana would have been certain Damien had died if he still wasn’t snoring. It was actually pretty remarkable. She sighs, her head whirling with everything that had happened. She says one simple word.

Crazy.

Damien somehow awakens after everything and yawns while eyeing everyone for a moment.

So...what did I miss?

NOTHING!!!

Uhh, it’s a left about five minutes up the road here and we will be there!

There is a painfully long, awkward silence in the car as they putter along.

O....Kay. Sounds fantastic, can barely contain my excitement.

Reika glares at Damien and he quickly slaps on his best fake smile until she smiles and looks back up front. We fade out as the likely stolen vehicle makes it way along the road until making the left turn Marf had mentioned.

Shot sometime before the road trip...

We open to Marf as he smiles and takes a deep breath. And here we go.

Marf: Oh neat Robert, you decided to take BoB head on eh? And when did you decide such a valiant expedition? Sometime after you woke up from your head being smashed in by a baseball bat? Or was it later on after Leap of Faith when you were sobbing in the back about how Page no longer had the universal championship but it wasn’t located around your waist? Sorry about spilling the beans but yeah, I heard those ugly cries. When they became more muffled was that just you crying into your sleeve or was that when Jimbo showed up and let you press your face ever so gently into his chest? You decided to take them head on, fuck off.

Tell me Robby, when are you going to decide to win a match that matters again? Is that part of your magnificent plan? It certainly isn’t going to be against the Dissentients, we’re going to beat you for fun. The amusing part is that for us, getting the win over you two unimpressive cumwads is the least fun thing that happens on Wednesday night. And hell, if the stars align and you guys sneak out with a fluke win it still won’t matter because you already mentioned we’re a nothing team. Good job with that incredible logic, you’ve really set yourselves up for failure. I have to admit something though, it was absolutely anticlimactic to see Drew as the ultimate dom out of the three. It was like watching a movie you’ve seen before, where you cheer for the ending you want but deep down you knew the ending you were getting. Makes a lot more sense why you fantasized so much about cucks. Jimmy boy it sure is a good thing you got Main around, now hopefully for your sake he swallows...

Marf shivers as he now hates himself for even bringing that up. He toughs it out and pushes on though, what a heroic display!

Marf: You two have rattled on and on like the geezers you truly are, all about me being a cuck. Yeah, well done, what a devastating death blow you’ve crushed me with there guys. I’m fucking loyal to my partner as she is to me. I get it, you two fuckwits struggle heavily with trust between partners. Christ, everyone is sick of hearing about it at this point it’s so blatantly obvious. Unlike Jimbo though, I have never and will never bail on my partner, that’s a god damn guarantee right there. One neither of you two are capable of saying without shifty eyes and paranoid thoughts.

Speaking of being paranoid, tell me more about these NPCs, sounds fascinating Jimmy, you fucking moron. Nobody gives a fuck what you’re droning on about, you’re probably still talking as I say my piece. Only takeaway I gathered from all your bullshit is you’ve been friend-zoned one too many times, more than likely even paid money to be dropped off in Friends Town. I don’t think either of you have even been in a real relationship by how you blab on about ridiculous sex positions like anyone believes you two prized pigs have actually performed any of them. Maybe tap the brakes on PornHub lads?

Marf stops and feigns an over the top double take.

Marf: Oh cool, are we doing the ‘we were this close’ game to make ourselves look better? The Riders of Eachothers’ Cocks really bringing that A game wow. Maybe I should bring up some close ones of my own! I’m surprised you didn’t just start listing off past accomplishments while you were at it...

...oh.

Oh right, you did. Jeez, the verified Apricks just giving it their all. I’m shaking in my boots, what next a flaming bag with a pile of shit in it? Good thing there’s a fire extinguisher in the trunk of my car, I’ll put out the fire and then stomp out you two pieces of shit. I was about to apologize for announcing another disappointing fact except you two fuckboys have each other as a constant disappointment so it doesn’t actually matter. However, I must point out that blood scent you picked up on was from your very own subpar cocks. Happens each time you pull out from one another. I hope you’re at least using condoms.

Marf makes a disgusted face for a moment a shakes his head in an attempt to rid his mind of those visions.

Marf: I’ve enjoyed how much it tweaked your nipples by not giving you credit in the ring. Personally, I don’t care so much about the wins as I do about the damage inflicted. That point has clearly flown well over both your thick heads. I never asked you fucks for credit and not would I ever. It’s not about the accolades and the credit, it’s about hurting everyone put in your way. Just like Lycana never gave a shit about the Xtreme title, it was always about getting Alias and putting him down. She hurt him in ways he will have nightmares about. That’s a point you two will find out all too well come Warfare when I beat it into your ring general dumbasses. Make all the battle plans and strategies you want, I’ll keep getting up and whipping your asses.

I’m still waiting for these supposed rockets. Seems to me you’ve only shown up with cheap ass dollar store firecrackers that got damp from sitting out all night. You literally did what I said you would do in my last promo and blasted me with your prior accomplishments. Hold up, maybe I’ll just speak slow, especially for Jimmy but realistically you’re both dumber than fruit flies. Here ya go gents...

I

DON’T

GIVE

A

FUCK!

Seriously, I don’t, I just don’t fucking care. Keep bringing up who you beat and what titles you held ten years ago and I’ll keep plugging my nose during these massive farts you keep laying. I get we have to promo but god damn I just want you both to shut the fuck up and fight me already. Your words and claims have and will continue to do nothing. I’m ready to take your best and smile at you both while it’s happening. On top of listing accomplishments you also did the other thing I said you would do. You’ve clearly underestimated me.

And honestly, I’m delighted you continue to do so. Ooooohhhhh, the AssPex boys are gonna beat me up because they said so in their vain attempts to get Drew’s approval. You bumbling are about as tough as a pair of over filled water balloons. You think I care about people remembering how many dumps I took in a particular year or whatever it was you were putting me to sleep with? I mean shit boys, I had to look both of you up if we’re being honest with ourselves here. I had no clue who you fucks were. Just a guy with an almost cool name. And the other dude...a real Robert Plain.

It seems as though we are about to fade out but Marf somehow grabs the screen and shakes it until it is normal. I mean, rules are meant to be fucked with anyway. He leans forward, prepared to share this final secret.

Marf: Oh by the way, one last thing. I don’t fucking have Twitter. Keep up the stellar work fellas.

Marf shakes his head in actual disappointment as we really do fade out this time.