DOCKside of the Moon

I say we eat him!

The sound of ocean waves clash against the beach. DOCK opens his eyes and sees two blurry figures standing in front of him. Ond huge and one very, very small.

Fuck that. He probably tastes like shit. Look at him… He’s all skin and bones… Crispy, too…

DOCK’s vision clears and he sees Peter Gilmour with his wrist chained to a palm tree and an action figure sized Unknown Soldier standing beside him.

Yo! What now, dickhead?

DOCK looks around some more and sees he is on a very small island, with a single palm tree (which Peter Gilmour is attached to), and a pirate ship wrecked in half on each side of it.

What the fuck happened?!

What do you mean, “What the fuck happened?” We wrecked! Don’t you remember?![/shadow]

DOCK FLASHBACK DOCK thinks back to beating the piss out of the little fucker while he was impaled with a knife against the mast then opens his eyes on the beach.

No.

We were sailing along… On Moonlight Baaaaaaay…

DOCK swats at the little creature as he pushes himself to his feet. The little fucker manages to leap out of his reach and bats his oddly long tongue at DOCK mockingly.

[shadow=#FF4500]Look, Peter. I don’t know how I fucking got here, but I got here. With or without the help of THAT!

DOCK flicks a fireball at the little Unknown Soldier which it does a fancy little backflip to dodge and hisses back at DOCK.

But I’m here for your help.

Peter snickers and stands up, tripping over his own chain that he’s been attached to for years now.

Ha! I knew this day would come!

Don’t be a dick, Gilly.

Suck my dick, DOCK! I’m the one in control here! This is MY island! So it’s MY RULES!

DOCK looks around to the twenty-by-twenty (if that) piece of land that they’re standing on.

Fine, Peter. You make the rules. You’re in charge. Mmkay?

Gilly shrugs and smiles and sits back down by his palm tree.

G- So what can Papa Gilly do for you, DOCK?[/color]

Pap? Uh… I, um… Gily! I need you to dick-punch me to the moon!

Gilly stops rubbing his gym shorts for a second and looks up to DOCK with his full attention. Then he takes part of his attention and even the direction of his head and points it at the action figure sized Unknown Soldier who shares eyes with Gilly those precious few seconds.

Uh, what?

Damnit, Gilly! There’s no more time for questions! I know that the two of us have never really seen eye-to-eye…. Actually, maybe we have! You’re the fucker that claimed my left eye!

s]Hey, suck my dick, alright? Desperate times.[/s]

My point is, Gilly, is that I need YOU to get me to Leap of Faith!

Why the fuck would I help YOU, DOCK?!

Fuck, Gilly! For the sake of the entire XWF!

Gilly jumps up!

Pfft!! FUCK the XWF! It can suck my---

Alright, alright, alright! I get it. You’re still pissed. Okay…

DOCK ponders for a moment while Unknown Soldier a seagull and Gilly stands tall as this is his first chance to feel like a man in years.

Think of it this way, Gilly... Lane and Theo have a couple of guys going in the Leap of Faith match. NOT me! I’m not one of their guys. Lane might say he’s not sure if I am or not, but I’m not. Trust me!

I’ll never trust you!

Gilly points violently and takes a strong step forward.

Listen! Lane and Theo are trying to fix the Leap of Faith match so one of their guys wins and they look like King Shit in front of the other one. I gotta get there to keep them fuckers from getting their wish!

Gilly looks dumbfoundedly at DOCK.

Soooo.. That’s why I tracked you down, Gilly.

I’m not allowed in the Leap of Faith match, DOCK! Those cocksuckers banished me, remember?!

DOCK smacks his head.

And I could never understand why! But, Peter, try to understand that this isn’t about you.

What?

Take a deep breath.

Suck my dick, DOCK! All of this is about me. Why the fuck do you think Theo had to build an island to keep me away!.

I don’t think he BUILT the island--

You know what I mean!

Look, if you would just listen for a second.

I AM listening, DOCK! YOU need to listen! If Lane and Theo want me in the Leap of Faith match, it’s going to be on MY terms. Get it?

DOCK throws sand in his eyes and drinks salt water.

But, of course! Your terms, Peter!

DOCK steps back a moment and lets Gilly ponder a bit.

Who else is in the match?

Well, I’m trying to be.

Fuck off. Who else?

Uhh.. Corey Smith?

Who the fuck is that?

Nobody. You could take ‘em, Peter.

G- Sweet. Okay, who else?[/color]

Demos, Rel Dixon, Sealed Refrigerator, R. L. Edgar, Chris Chaos---

Pfffffffffffffftttt!

What?

Chaos is in the match?

Indeed.

Gilly rolls his eyes and starts to lose interest in the subject quickly. DOCK springs into action to bring Gilly back!

Look, Chaos is Chaos, Gilly... YOU should know all about being our own worst enemy… Chris Chaos is one of those guys who refuse to believe it sometimes.

Think about it? Have you heard what the guy has been saying?

He respects ME! Do YOU respect me Peter?

Gilly spits at DOCK’s feet.

Right. So, Chris Chaos is back to living off of the one time that he survived a session with the old Doc all them years ago. That’s great, Chris. I’ve even used the fact that THAT particular victory over me (and some others) projected your career. Fuck, look what it did to Alias? The guy was already a megastar in everyone’s eyes and now he looks absolutely unbeatable. All because Corey Smith is a terrible referee. And a bitch.

What Chaos is missing is the same thing everyone else (except Corey) is missing. Evolution people. Now, this is kinda silly to think about and I would be lil’ bit embarrassed if I wasn’t Corey Smith right now… But Corey has been in this foul federation since last August and knows a lot more backstory than fellows I was kicking the shit out of back in the teens!! My point is, things change, Chris! Things CHANGE! When you survived a session with the doctor all of those years ago it surprised even YOU and when you were projected to MY heights… You couldn’t handle it. You wanted to be me? You had the chance to be and you dropped the ball. You faltered. You crumbled. But that’s not what this is about, is it? It’s not about how you handled the ball after you got it, it’s not about how you got the ball now, is it? It’s the rebound story. It’s about dropping the ball and picking it back up.

Chaos can trace his footsteps and eat up all those breadcrumbs all he likes thinking he knows what’s coming to him. Things are a lot different now and the environment has changed. I’ve changed. I’m not the one who let him slip by before. I’m not the one that beat him down multiple times after that. I’m the epitome of everything that’s made his time in the XWF the worst. I am that pain in his stomach when I showed up at Savage and entered the Leap of Faith match. He better respect those feelings. He better respect that ONE time. He better respect himself. I may be on the rebound myself, but this is no redemption story for me. Don’t be fucking silly. I don’t need to be told how great I am and I don’t need to be told that I’m not invulnerable. Everyone can get excited all that they want about the KING’s demise, but I assure them ALL that far worse things are to come.

Holy fuck, okay! We all know Chaos is a bitch. Who else is in it?

Uhh.. Thrax.

Trax?!

No! Thhhhhrax.

Oh. Well, fuck him, then.

I agree! Umm.. Who else? Oh! Of course. Jim Caedus.

What? The guy that was always trying to be like me?

None other.

I hate that guy.

Come, now, Gilly! Hate is such a strong word. Even I don’t HATE the man. He’s tried his best, ya know.

Gilly waves of DOCK and starts to wander away.

Alright, alright! I kid! Jim Caedus is a piece of shit.

Thank-you!

Hear me out though! Jimmy is in a rough spot here. I told him what was up and he just thinks Vinnie Lane is some wholesome, loving mother fucker that is in it for Jimmy… Whatever! I told him he was being played and he went on a nine minute tangent about how nice and supportive Vinnie is… blah blah blah. The TRUTH is.. Like I said… Is that Theo and Vinnie get a hair up their asses every so often and have a dick measuring contest that usually results in someone getting beat up. Guess what? It’s JIMMY! He can fake it and try to make it all he wants, I know why I’m here. Corey knows why he’s here, I guess. Someone needs to feed Demos. What is everyone else doing? Who cares! Jimmy is “here” to take Chris Chaos out of the equation, which is absolutely GREAT! However, as easy as Chris Chaos IS to remove from said equation… Maybe it would have just been easier to remove Jimmy before all this started….

Oh shit. Did I say that out loud?

Gilly looks at DOCK like he has no idea what the fuck he is talking about.

Twas I that set up the hit against Caedus on Warfare. I admit it. He was aiming for the head, too! Now, was it fear that made me call up Thunder Knuckles and set up the hit? Was there any doubt within myself that maybe I thought I had to use that $24,700 that I was going to walk away with to pay TK to take out Jim Caedus? To be perfectly honest, that was just for fun. If TK managed to blow Jimmy’s head off, I would’ve found a way, aside from the risque pic of Corey that was actually in the briefcase, to pay the man a decent wage. It’s not about being afraid of Jimmy… It’s avoiding everything we’re suffering through RIGHT NOW.

Jimmy sits there and defends all of this long winded rambling by doing just that… More long winded rambling. Before I bitch too much I guess I should probably clear a few things up. When I thought Jimmy died, it wasn’t the fact I missed when he quit mid-match against Chaos. No. I caught all of that. Thanks again, Jimmy, for reminding us all of it. You’re a cunt and we know. Anywho… I thought Jimmy was dead because either he killed himself… He died in some stupid accident…. Or the police killed him in some mental episode he had because… well.. Jimmy. I was well aware when the guy QUIT the XWF. I seen when Jimmy literally threw in the towel.

Is that something we should be proud of him for? Is that something HE should be defending? Kind of a bitch move, IF you ask me. No one asks me anything though…. You know, I probably owe you an apology, Peter.

Why?

Well, I compared you and Jim Caedus like… I dunno… Twins earlier.

Suck my dick, DOCK. What’s up with this “K” anyway?

Anyway… It’s just you and Jimmy seem to hold onto things and point out the stupidest fucking shit somtimes. And you don’t just bring it up once you have to hammer it over and over and over again…. And imagine having eight other people in the match where he hammers the same points about the same guys over and over again.

I don’t know what you mean.

Everyone’s a cocksucker, Peter.

Well, yeah.

[shadow=#FF4500]I mentioned all this shit, all these similarities to Jimmy and he took some offense to it like being compared to Peter Gilmour is some kind of insult.

Fuck him!

Yes! Jimmy has awards, championships, accolades, and respect…. Gilly has all of those things too right?!

Fucking right!

Yeah! So just because I brag up Jimmy’s fancy trophies doesn’t mean that he’s not still cruisin’ for a bruisin’, right?!

Fuck yess!!!

DOCK has Gilly all wound up now. Peter is hulking out and taking a couple of shots at the palm tree, even harassing tiny Unknown Soldier, a bit.

We all know Jimmy has done well in the past. There’s no mistake! He had the Uni title… He and Chaos won my glorious Shove-It. He likes to talk about everyone else’s run but seems to trigger about losing it himself. He likes to talk about everyone’s mishaps! What Jimmy doesn’t realize is that everyone trips and falls at times. He wants to laugh and make fun of everyone… Call COREY a bully of all people… Talk about calling the kettle black there…. I mean, let’s be honest. Corey can be a little bitchy at times but a bully? Laughing out loud. If anyone around here has been a bully it’s been Jimmy Caedus.

I seriously don’t even know where to begin…. All Jimmy did was call everything out. If you forgot to turn a light off six months ago before bedtime, Jimmy knows about it and you’re gonna hear about it! Seriously…. Everything.

It’s almost tiresome to relive the same things you said or did to someone to this extent. I mean, Jimmy could’ve always been more like Corey and moved on to current events… Like the match coming up? How all of that breath is wasted and all of those hopes and dreams of Vinnie Lane’s pat on the back at the end…. Just doesn’t come true.

I said from the beginning that it was probably going to come down to Corey and I. Why wouldn’t it? We’ve been pulsating waiting to explode at each other since High Stakes! Ugh. Sorry to sound so gross. What I meant to say was we’ve been at each others’ throats for quite some time. With everything at stake now? This is a perfect time for the two of us to let out some built up aggression. Ugh. Sorry again. Corey and I have a lot to talk about. It seems like his purpose in life from his start back in High Stakes has been to keep ME from what I want.

Let’s start with DUKE. It’s no secret the history that we’ve had together with Conundruum and what have you. I had great plans for those titles before Corey was HANDED… Hear that everyone… HANDED by DUKE… That extra title. Of course, Corey would accept it. Duke was his BFF afterall and afterall it WAS a title. You’d have to be some kind of idiot to not accept such a thing right? Whatever. The writing on the wall was there for everyone to see, which no one cared when I pointed it out, but when it eventually blew up in my face I was still the evil no-do-gooder with the master plan. I didn’t have a masterplan. I saw something terrible in Duke and wanted to use it and Corey saw something good in Duke and wanted to use it. Duke had more of a crush on Corey and well, shit, I lost again. Which eventually, as we all witnessed, made everyone lose. Conundruum, that is.

Here’s the thing, I’m tired of taking the fall for all of this crap. I made one mistake thinking that Thaddeus Duke would carry the XWF to new heights and, as I live and breathe, have I regretted it since. It’s time to take matters into my own hands. It’s time to bypass all the bullshit and go for something that’s really going to make people pay attention. I’ve won championships. I’ve won most of them. Everyone knows my reputation and either they cower from it or they step up to it and either is fine with me. Leap of Faith…. This match is not a redemption story. Chaos seeks redemption… I think Caedus is seeking some redemption. Corey just seeks Corey…. I’m not here for redemption. I’m here as the thorn. Everyone has a plan but me and I’m only here to disrupt what’s already in place. Gilly knows. Tell ‘em Gilly! Tell 'em how you're the thorn to the thorn! To the moon with me, right!

Fuck you DOCK!

Do it, Gilly!

FUCK. OFF!!! When you see Lane and Theo… Tell ‘em to SUCK MY DICK!!

Gilly reaches back and with all of his might dick punches DOCK! DOCK sails up into the sky and like a shooting star disappears in the sky.