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CAEDUS REWIND: When last we left Caedus, his easy way out of the asylum in Doc Brown had vanished, a casualty of corrected timeline, forcing Jim to face the fact that he can't take back what was done. Now truly trapped, Jim has a two choices: conquer...or submit.






(continued from "Return Fire")

---3 Months Later---
September 2019












I guess what I'm tryin' ta say is, if yuh haven't gotten head from a fat girl then yuh haven't met my wife. Huh. The therapy circle laughs.

Has it ever occurred to you, Mr. Hardy, that perhaps you're simply just insecure and lacking of the trust necessary to maintain a strong and meaningful relationship?

Gee that hadn't occurred to me, no. I see it now! I'm cured! Huh. What's that got tuh do with my wife bein' a whoore?

Rolling her eyes, Nurse Ratched turns her attention to Jim with the cold gaze of one who didn't honestly get her world rocked by the man in the broom closet 3 months ago. Yep, hate fuck. Damn she's good. What about you, James? It's been three months and you still haven't even attempted to share with us all what it is that truly has you in here.

There ain't nothin' wrong with you.

Staring out the window, the exuberance and incorrigible attitude long gone. ...None 'a you would understand.

I disagree. There are a lot of men with a lot of problems on this ward. Are you so certain yours are unique enough that no one can relate? Do you honestly believe it isn't anything I haven't heard before in here?

Ok, I don't understand, how's that? I ain't done a goddamn thing wrong since June, I've shown myself to be cooperative and peaceful yet I'm still here. Why.

I told you before if we can't identify your problem, why would we ever let you out? What's to prevent the same thing you did to land yourself in the hospital in the first place from happening again? How can you be trusted?

You're a good person. There's nothing wrong with you and you DID nothing wrong. It's everyone else, not you.

Because I say I can be. I'm a good person and I'm not a danger to anyone. I know who the fuck I am.

Do you.

She just called you a liar!

Are you callin' me a liar!?

I'm questioning if you really do have the self awareness to proclaim yourself cured and ready to return to society.

She's calling you STUPID!

Stands, back-kicking his chair out from under him. WHAT!? You callin' me a fuckin' idiot!?

Sit down Mr. O'Connor or so help me...

She's callin' you a PUSSY!

Flinching in cranial pain. Or WHAT!? You'll kick my ass?? Well BRING it bitch, I've been waitin' for the continuation to our last encounter! And I ain't talkin' about fuckin' you into leg shakin' submission either!

Standing, eyes flashing with anger. SIT DOWN!

DON'T DO IT!

Nearly crumbles to the floor. MAKE me BITCH!

Rage. That's IT!

Before Jim can react, he receives a knockout blow spiralling him into oblivion...





Waking in darkness.

Jim stands to find himself alone in the void.

A flash of light...

...and we've officially entered a frontrunner for cliché self discovery/personal struggle scenarios as Jim faces...Jim.

Yep.

The universe groans.

Aw fuck me...not ME. I'll never be able to target someone usin' this concept as ammo for future shit talkin' anymore- DIE, RATCHED!

Yeah that's right motherfucker, me. And if I was the one writin' this shit I woulda come up with somethin' amazing and halfway UNIQUE but nooooooo, it has to be YOUR fuckin' show! The weakass lovey dovey heart on 'is sleeve "GOTTA please EVERYONE" sack of unfunny not good enough douchebag BULLSHIT schmuck! I've been wantin' to kick your ass since you DUMPED me for those gayrods in Ax3! I figured since gettin' my hands on you personally was impossible, go figure, I'd do what I could to push you to the dark Caedus that dominated. The glory days when it was just me and YOU. Y'know, like how it's been for most of our fuckin' LIFE!?

Glory days? GLORY DAYS!? You ROBBED me of who I was the moment you came inta MY life- not ours, MINE! I was a straight A fuckin' student!

You were a nerd somehow dumb enough to believe education mattered. It was cooler to get faded, fuck chicks and half-ass every AP class, you know that!

I was a child actor with the talent and the look to become a star!

Are you fuckin' !? You were a fuckin' background actor! What the HELL makes you think you could ever break in as an EXTRA!?

I was an athlete who inspired thunder from the stands!!

Are you fuckin' !? Again!? You're FIVE FUCKING NINE ASSHOLE!! You can run as fast as the wind and bulk up all you want but you could NEVER play in the NBA or the NFL so what's the fucking POINT!? Shit, you even suck as a wrestler, you couldn't even keep the XWF Universal Title!!

I used to EXCEL at EVERYTHING I did!

You're a LOSER without ME!

You MAKE me a LOSER!

I'M the reason behind your greatest SUCCESS here DUMBASS!

NO! YOU'RE the reason I failed to MAINTAIN that success! You've done that to me my ENTIRE life!!

You did it to yourself.

Epiphany. ...what?

You did it to yourself. I may have sown the seeds of doubt but you're the one who refused to do anything other than believe it and give up. You complain about what's happened in your life, it's ALL. YOUR. FAULT. You don't have the strength to do this on your own, I had to take you by the reigns. If I HADN'T, you never would've attained what success you HAVE. And now, it's too late. You'll never be able to get rid 'a me. Be grateful. Without me you would've been nothin'.

No. It's over.

Fuck you talkin' about.

I'm not livin' like this anymore. I kept me away from success, I kept me in the minor leagues when I could've stopped hopin' for a chance in a promotion like the XWF and just taken my place. I could've maintained my friendships and relationships, and even though they may have ended it would have been parting on good terms not a clusterfuck of emotion. I could've been somebody more than I am now. And I'm not gonna let me stop me anymore.

Laughs. How do you propose to do that?

By killing YOU.

Laughs. How do you propose to do THAT!? Five flashes of light. I've got BACKUP!

Five figures stride forward.











Cowardice.






Utter fucking stupidity in Ignorance.







Complacency.








Arrogance. And in 3-D because...well, ego.








And fear in self doubt.

I recognize Christy...and that one looks like Doc just all ashy and crunchy like he should add a K...but the other three, I don't get it. Never seen 'em before. Buzzes the lens.

Whats it matter? You know damn well ain't no way you can take us all on by yourself.

Wrong. Myself is all I ever needed.

Five more flashes of light.

Allow me to introduce my strengths...









































Courage, Awareness, Dedication, Humility and Self Confidence.

They all remove their helmets...5 more Jims. Like we didn't see that coming.

All in unison: 'Sup.

::growls:: Of fuckin' course... KILL 'EM AAAAAAAAALL!!


The 10 soldiers come together en masse in a conflict of epic proportions, somehow perfectly matching up as appropriate.

Awareness immediately Purgatory Punches Utter fucking stupidity through Ignorance's head clean off.

Courage rockets a Wrexus Plexus through the chest of Cowardice, sending his tiny heart flying.

Ignorance, though headless, continues to fight albeit swinging aimlessly and missing every blow.

Cowardice shoves his heart back in his chest gape and advances on Courage.

Courage and Awareness exchange glances, produce AK-47s and unload with their ammunition. Facts burst forth and pepper both Cowardice and Ignorance into meaty chunks of STILL angrily pulsating meat. Courage and Awareness shake then piss on the remains.

Meanwhile, Dedication has beaten Complacency with his bare hands into a mass of broken bones, flesh and oddly translucent liquid...because, well, Complacency had no heart to begin with and therefore his veins coursed with running waters.

Humility waits patiently, quietly, as a shrieking Arrogance keeps a slight distance flinging charged tarot cards like he thinks he's Gambit or someone else capable. When he's run out of ammunition, and missed every fucking shot, Arrogance asks Humility to just stand still as he shoots forward in a mad dash-

-falling directly into legit the most obvious pitfall ever devised. He screams something along the lines of "This is BULLSHIT! I NEVER lose! I demand to speak to-" before his mouth is suddenly and rudely invaded by one of the wicked spikes at the bottom, skewering Arrogance straight through and popping out his surprisingly puckered asshole.

But ALL is not well in the battle as Fear in Self Doubt decides floating high above Self Confidence and dropping yoga flames is the way to go and for all appearances it would seem he's correct.

Until Self Confidence magically POOFS to mid air alongside Fear and latches on, somersaults and zooms down to the "ground" at the speed of the light, sending up a massive explosion on impact. As the blast dissipates, we see Self Confidence and Fear in Self Doubt grappling at the base of the crater, it appears a stalemate at best...but Fear looks to be changing that in short order.

Overpowering Self Confidence, Self Doubt executes a LOBOTOMY!!!


Extreme glee. Ha! Ha ha ha! Ahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaa! It's OVER you gayish little pussy! Now Fear in Self Doubt and I will murder YOU...and we'll take over your fuckin' mind and morph your outward appearance or some other horseshit like that and get into aaaaaaaall SORTS of stupidass antics!

I wouldn't be so sure...


As Fear in Self Doubt turns to walk away, the hand of Self Confidence catches him by the elbow. Fear's eyes widen as he twists to regard Self Confidence-

-receiving a Point Blank for his trouble, a knee to the gut and-


-KATABASIS!!!!!!!

Fear in Self Doubt's neck snaps on impact and he lies still.


No! ...NO! ......NOOOOOOOO!! HOW!?

Self Confidence is the hinge to a better life and success.

Enraged. FUCK Self Confidence!! You still have to take ME down and that's a feat you've NEVER accomplished!! And guess what...I have THIS! Jim's Invasive Thoughts pulls a glowing golden nugget on a chain* free from his baggy blue Dickies shorts pocket.

(*An artifact Jim discovered way back in 2017 right before the Leap of Faith, it grants him the power of two Caedae in battle. Sweet, huh?)

So fuckin' what. I don't need it anymore. Courage starts to glow. I don't need to keep relyin' on an exterior crutch. I have my own inner strength. Awareness starts to glow. I've done without it for years and I ain't gonna stop now that I've discovered the well of my power. Dedication lights up. Even if I were to prove not strong enough, I would rather fall in defeat as who I really am than play dirty and advance to the heights I clearly wouldn't deserve. Humility sparks to life. But I have the utmost confidence in my abilities to see me through to victory. Self Confidence illuminates the entire playing field, casting dark into light. Jim HIMSELF begins to glow.

No! This isn't POSSIBLE! You CAN'T! The strength of FIVE CAEDAE!?

Six. I'm Jim Caedus. Bitch.

Jim unleashes a stream of pure power at his foe.

FUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!

And Jim's Invasive Thoughts detonate like the 4th of July.

At once, Courage, Self Confidence, Awareness, Dedication and Humility wink out and Jim's glowing subsides, leaving him once more in the darkness.

A flash of light. Excellent job James. I'm proud of you, very very proud. Now...can you defeat me?

Jim's fists raise. I know who you are. The poofing, the unbelievable strength, the powers...you're Doc. That golem of Fear in Self Doubt may have looked like Doc but Doc could never be taken down quite so easily. It's been you the whole time in this asylum. And you know what that means? I fucked you Doc. Fucked you long and hard. Now I'm gonna fuck you UP.

That won't be necessary...

Doctor Dunnem flashes in.

You again with the Doc voice. Enough with the Doc voice dipshit, I already know he's Nurse Ratched.

Doctor Dunnem suddenly engulfs in flames, revealing the one and only Doctor Louis D'Ville in his place. Is she now.

Awwwwwww maaaaaaaaan. What the FUCK Doc?? What's all this about??Who the fuck is SHE??

Regarding Ratched. Merely a construct of mine. A drone, granted limited powers similar to my own. You may go my dear. Ratched vanishes. And you... Looking to Jim.You are free to leave as well Jim. You have nothing more to learn...and neither do I.

The fuck you talkin' 'bout neither do you, Doc?

That is none of your concern. Suffice to say I was asked to evaluate you. You've been evaluated. You've proven yourself innocent of the charges, I will pass that along. Like I said, you may go now.

K, cool. Staring into space. Open sesameeee. ...Ain't workin' Doc. HOW DO I LEAVE? I don't even know where the FUCK I really am!

We are in your mind naturally, I thought you'd figured that out earlier. As for your physical location, you've been residing in the asylum adjoining Mastermind Castle for the better part of a year.

The setting suddenly flashes white.

Waking strapped to an operating table, Doc peering down at him. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the fuck!! Lemme loose!!

One last thing... Doc knives his hand down into Jim's head, the physical properties of his limb turning incorporeal. All Jim can see however is Doc punching at him so he yelps-

-right before Doc pulls his hand free, solidifying, clutching a misshapen dark lump which he drops into a jar.

Observing the lump in the jar. Fascinating.

The hell did you just do?

I removed a tumor in your brain. It was exacerbating the issues you've been having...and it was killing you.

Jesus Christ...

That holier than thou hippy has nothing to do with it.

No I mean, Jesus Christ, THE Doc D'Ville just saved my life!

Staring at the lump. I wouldn't think too far into it Jim.

Fuckin' AWESOME! Doc FUCKIN' D'Ville laid hands on me and saved me! I can't wait to tell- A single finger to the third eye stops Jim in mid sentence.

I'm afraid you won't be telling anyone. This will remain our little secret. In fact, until I lift this veil, you will neither hear nor see anything regarding these events until I decide the time is appropriate. Removes his finger.

Blankly blinking. Noticing Doc. Starting in shock. What the FUCK!? DOC!!

Smiles and winks. Toodles.

In a flash Jim vanishes, transported away to his life back in California.

I have a feeling I'll be seeing you again...in time.





(To be continued in the next cycle)

**********************************





"The Magic Bullet"





---Vague, PY (Purgatory)---
"Land of the Rising Gun"


"Floating" ('cause Purgatory is zero G, wheeeeeee!!). Corey...I love you 😙. No, really. I mean yeah, I hate your guts too and request you'd grab your ankles in front of an oncoming bullet train so we can all watch a fruit splatter like front row Gallagher but I love you all the same and guarantee I'd pour out a lil' liquor at the closed casket. It's crazy, I know. But I'll touch on that later.

K, it's later. Whorey Pith, you waste far too much time- that being any at all -commentin' on me bein' crazy with your hook line 'n stinkers. I came into this promotion crazy, I own bein' crazy, the current handle is Psycho Number Six The White Knight; which you clearly noticed and referenced yet for some reason still thought callin' a nut a nut is a cut. Sweetheart, the name Jim Caedus is an anagram for Mad Juices, I make my livin' off crazy and O izzit ever so orgasmic to be me. That's why I get so sexual with it...'cause this shit makes me harder than first-time stiff. And hoooolyyyyy STIFF have I got a woody to plank the great golden boy Gatekeeper 'a the XWF.

Just as an appetizer however, nice work goin' on record to say I'm still in the hospital with the SSRI bit. You were able to see in my first promo I was remanded into their custody by the courts in 2019 to determine if I was criminally and/or violently insane and obviously, I'm now free. Whadja think me bein' back in the XWF amounted to, psycho work release? Clearly, defining an über intelligent wunderkind doesn't include common sense. Ain't that just typical 'a the book smart youth like you; you can parrot what you pick up on social media, the news or assigned readin' from a textbook, you can wail all day on politics, fling trendy terminology with ease and quote fine literature but when it comes to real life, by and large you don't know shit. No wonder it was so easy to sneak in under your radar and snatch that case on Warfare, you literally don't know where I'm comin' from. How you gonna keep track 'a me in the match muffin? It ain't lookin' good for you so far...

I mean, you make it "all too easy" Panickin' Skywalker Guystalker. You can chalk it up to youngster dumbassery but all the same, you about to get Kenobi'd and I don't think even Thadly's gonna be voice crackin' a NOOOO!!.

😃......you legit don't even know what I'm prattling on about, do you.

Corey my first promo was so chock fulla trappy goodness I essentially rolled out the red minefield and sat waitin' for someone to trip somethin'. What you gave me was the time 'a my life watchin' you get ping ponged from trigger to trigger like follow the bouncing bomb just off the bait I left in Open Fire.

You honestly tripped every. Single. Trap.

I knew aimin' at your swollen ego would get you to personally prove my point on your arrogance and lack of humility. All I had to do was drop a couple lines criticizin' you for Coreytopia and you literally wasted a good deal of your spiel squealin' about it ON TOP of failing to absorb that I said: Centurion nails you on arrogance and your first thought is to brag about charity. You cemented that by, well, braggin' about charity, goin' so far as to say "God damn what a place the XWF is! You try to do something nice for people, ask nothing in return, and get branded an asshole for it. Says more about you soulless pricks than it does about me." That's right, attack us en masse for the comments of a few. How heroic and even-keeled, Corey, and I'm the psycho here. You're right though, you don't "ask nothin' in return", you EXPECT somethin' in return. You expect praise and respect and if that weren't the case, you wouldn't feel the need to bitch about the criticism, you'd let it roll off your back and you wouldn't advertise and exploit for attention like allowing Coreytopia to be booked as the venue for a PPV event starrin' the ever egotistical Boy Fuck Club and Dolly. Familiar at all with the scripture 'a the widow's mite? Doesn't matter.

I love, by the way, that you retort to me sayin' the name Coreytopia makes you look like an arrogant tool with "and fuck you, Dolly came up with the name and I LOVE IT!". Yeah, I know you love the name Coreytopia, Corey. We [size=large]ALL[/large] know Corey loves the name Coreytopia, COREY. BeCorese all is Corey Corepletely and Corey Coretrols planet Corth from Corust to Core, CorCorey. CoreyCor Corey Cor Cor? Coooreyyyyy COR! Corey Cor CorCoCor......

COOOOOORRRREYYYYYYYYYY

Floating nearby, clutching his head in agony. Jim not again!

Yeah man, please, NO CORE! I mean- !

Oh God you've got Bob doin' it now!

Panicking. I'm Corey, I- I mean I'm COREY! Goddammit, I mean I'm SOREY! I Corn't stop Cor Coreying Cor COR COREY COREYCOR COREY COREY COREY COREY COREY COREY COREY-

Hands to ears. He's stuck in an infinite Coreyloop!

-OREY COREY COREY CO-

I'll hit him in the head with this bottle!

Eyes widen. COREY!! COREY COREY CO-

Are you sure Jim? Because I HAVE a bottle. Holds up an unopened Dewers.

Oh man I love De- Hey... Hey that's MY bottle! What the FUCK Drew!?

What's more important Bob? A bottle of whiskey or cracking Jimmy in the head with it?

DON'T DO THAT! Look, he's fighting it!

Struggling to regain his counterCoreyactive batshit. COREY COREY COR- ...COR-... C- Corrreyyym the master of all I surveeeey. In this, the land of tattered dreams and the wailing of lost souls felled in battle against the subconscious malevolence of the sun. Here...here shall I plant my flag in the very eye of the storm. Come to me my Warriors, grab a body part and cling for dear life as we ascend to the heavens for waaaar. In my veins pumps the blood of the Warriooooor. In your veins pumps the blood of the Warrioooor. And together, we Warriors shall conquer...our...fooooooooooes. ::Warrior snort:: Hey, I did it! The bottle shatters against Jim's head. FUCK! Jim begins to float away.

Unintentionally floating backward due to tossing the bottle in zero G. Woooooooooorth iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Damn you Drew! Breast-stroking after him.

More or less unhurt, shaking fist. You're lucky I got a head that can drive nails Drew! Looks to the lens as the all-seeing XWF drone floats along with him.

Anyway, enough with the antics, back to what I was sayin' about the first trap you tripped...

The main point 'a that pitfall was this:

What the fuck does Coreytopia have anything to do with the Leap of Faith match? You do realize we only get 3 chances in the promo cycle to wear everyone else out mentally and you focused on somethin' completely irrelevant and wasted limited airtime right? You know why? Your overabundance of narcissism. I'll strike with and respond to anything I can tie into psychological assault and exploiting weaknesses that logically translate to me capitalizin' in combat but you, you'll clap-back just to fold over and suck your own dick and condemn anyone havin' the gall to say somethin' neg about you personally. Is anyone bein' a prick gonna prevent him or her from successfully competin' here? It don't stop Chris Page or Ned Kaye, so what the fuck does it matter?

It doesn't. And here's the rundown...

Counting off with his fingers. I got you to go postal over nothin', prove my point AND surrender a chunk 'a your tirade towards me. You're an immature, incompetent child, Corey, and you been tricked by a growns up you perceive is of lower intelligence. How you gonna keep up with me mentally in the match if it's SO. GOD. DAMN. EASY to get over on you in promo alone? It's lookin' a lot less likely.

What say we dig a little deeper...

...and highlight further how effortless it is to get in your head. This one shocks me because I didn't even dress it up, it was as blatant as it can get, to the point I didn't believe you'd fall for it all...but you did. And all it took was sayin' you're thoroughly disliked to a backroom dealings degree.

"Hey Jim, just who am I “thoroughly disliked by”? The B.O.B.ies? Oh hunty, I assure you I’m crying on the inside! Main? Well of course, he hates anything remotely resembling valid competition. Theo? I couldn’t rub two shits together. So long as the checks keep clearing. And for as much as Theo may dislike me he’s a savvy enough businessman to realize you don’t hobble one of your prize thoroughbreds."

Did we lose some sleep over that one as I stated you should? Sounds like it. Despite your claims that you couldn't give a shit you very much do seein' as you felt the need, again, to irrelevantly defend yourself. Point in fact, that comment bothered you so much you accused Theo Pryce of talkin' shit about you to ME.

Theo Pryce.

One among The Kings who helped DESTROY Ax3 and rob us of our Trios Titles. A man who made Jim Caedus look like an absolute fool everytime we argued in public. A man with TWO horses in the Leap of Faith race and neither of them Jim Caedus. Theo Pryce. Enemy.

Yes Corey, it was Theo, you got me. That's why he hired me and Boss Lane didn't.

🤣

Oh my Lord Corey on High, Gay (as in happy) Gay (as in gay) God of the Universe, why oh why is mental warfare with you as easy as walkin' up to a 12 year old chick and tellin' her so and so said she's beat af? I got you to worry. To dwell. I got you to doubt yourself and get into your OWN head. I played off insecurities you've been so vocal about ME sufferin'. And I got you, again, to waste precious time. Corey, if you're so vulnerable to mind games of an elementary nature, what makes you think you're properly clear-headed, focused and confident enough to overcome your very own puppet master in the match? It ain't lookin' likely at ALL right now.

And if that ain't bad enough...

Trap three.

You made it painfully apparent followin' RL's failure at the hands of Chris Page that if anyone around here is possessin' of a "throbbing hate boner" it's the furious phallus 'a Corey Smith in first place. Like before, all that was required was to bring the subject up and you pounced on it without so much as considering your words. You say I "went to bat" for Page by basically callin' YOU a pussy for not takin' it to the ring and callin' HIM a piece of shit heel regardless. Did I go to bat for him Corey? Or did I cite that debacle along with other general examples you conveniently overlooked as evidence you are in fact a bully?

I guess you forgot, for instance, that incident with the God of Death guy or whateverthefuck his name was about shootin' some content to promote himself, Oswald weebles in, talks some shit, understandable, he's a bully too. But I was shocked to see YOU saunter in as well Corey, to ensure you got the opportunity to backhand Oz, again understandable, he's also a feeb, and tell the other guy the whole God of Death thing had been done and it didn't work then either. I'm afraid try as I might I can't seem to locate the footage in the recent XWF video files but it happened, despite the fact you flick that taint ticklin' tongue 'a yours like a fuckin' snake as often as possible and it prob'ly slipped your mind.

Do you recall now, lil' buddy? Remember feelin' compelled (as I stated in Open Fire) to inject yourself into situations non-match related with the intent to hurt feelings and discourage? I could be mistaken but I assume the God of Death was relatively new to the roster at the time. Anyone seen him since? Unless he switched costumes and became Thrax, of course not. Clearly he was just some dude sellin' a gimmick and not a true deity of demise; just unsure of 'imself and exposed to the cruelty 'a Corey Smith who for all intents and purposes ran him outta the XWF for no reason other than a compulsion to attack and durin' a time when the ranks of the fed are growing. Nice goin' hero. I echo what I said in my first promo, you're a bully and a detriment to this promotion's community.

As far as the point I was makin' in my mentioning the tiff ya had with him, you can literally Mad Libs the name Page outta context and insert ANY other villain (like that "God of Death") or any other person who rubs your sensitive balls the wrong way in his place. I specifically name dropped him because that event was seen by the entire roster and I KNEW you would be so infinitely obsessed and butthurt about it you'd throw caution to the wind and disregard the shit you've pulled previously. And it drove home my words...you ARE a bully. Is that how a true hero acts Corey? Is that settin' a good example? You gotta forego goin' about shit correctly; havin' control enough over your own emotions and the patience to get your target into a match then punish him or her the proper way? Of course not...you gotta piss on procedure and lower yourself to the level of those you deem are evil who consequently in some cases turn out to be a helluva lot less vindictive than YOU are. Tell me...

...did you ovate when George Floyd's lips turned blue, Corey? That man was a perceived bad guy and he was unjustifiably MURDERED by the "good guys". "Good guys" like you who are DANGEROUSLY convinced they operate with vindication but really, you're nothin' more than villains yourselves who're so fuckin' OUTTA YOUR MINDS PSYCHOTIC ya think 'a yourselves as the "good guys". You know what aptly defines the aforementioned?

Risin' above the petty bullshit YOU focus on. Showin' COMPASSION...you know, like how you claim "How completely unsurprising it is that Jim can’t fathom the notion of somebody doing something benevolent “just because”." You mean like how I wished Thrax good luck in the match and nothin' more when I coulda gone in on 'im? You mean like how I recognized redemptive humanity within Oswald followin' learning of his his tragic past and switched from attackin' 'im to expressin' he's worth more than the abuse he receives from his own stablemates in BoB? I won't bother gettin' into specifics on the charitable work APEX has always been known for because it's PATHETIC to brag about it.

That's benevolence "just because", Corey. Coreytopia is a transaction of "benevolence" for attention. Corey Smith don't do SHIT "just because" unless it's harassing an easy target.

Fuck Chris Page, he'll be dealt with by the REAL heroes here. That weed-addled flaccid fuckstick ain't relevant to this match any further than my usin' him to fuck with your head yet again and push you to WASTE a SUBSTANTIAL amount of your limited time on irrelevance by cryin' about 'im because you absolutely cannot STAND to have your character come into question.

Ego. Narcissism. Lack of control.

Weakness.

How you gonna prevent yourself from meltin' down in the match if you can't even control yourself OUTSIDE the match? How you gonna conquer the man who can trigger you into a rage of emotions and self-sabotage at the drop of a NAME? Your chances are lookin' extremely SLIM at this point.

Which brings me to the fourth and final trap...

Engy.

You think I actually give a good goddamn if he shows up? Dumbass, I brought that up for ONE reason and ONE reason only...the trap itself. My perceived "careless" statement about wantin' comeuppance on Eng' for "that ONE magical squash way back" accomplished EXACTLY what I was hopin' it would: to expose you for the ignorant you are on par with Chaos 'imself in the vein 'a not. Paying. Attention.

All I had to do was sell it like I'm every bit the revenge obsessed dullard you believe me to be.

You bought it.

You said Engy defeated me twice. Granted, it was my NAME associated with the matchup back in 2018 but that wasn't me...at all.

"*gasp*"

You claim to have researched me, you obviously know a BOATLOAD about Engy and are absolutely relevantly associated with him but you space on the FACT that man Engy defeated was the grand prize winner 'a the Be Caedus For a Day contest which would seem to be the horrifically tragic "gift" that keeps on givin'. It worked on Chaos in promo in 2019, now it's shown you to be a complete jackass in 2021. None of it's a secret, it's right there accessible for any to see on XWF24/7.com. For the boy who defines the one authority on everything Engy...to miss that detail is a GRAVE error. That sunuvabitch whom Eng' defeated and Chaos killed may have slightly resembled me but he didn't sound anything LIKE me, he definitely WASN'T me and THAT is what now throws your competence into question.

If you don't know who the fuck I am, HOW, pray tell, are you gonna be able to keep eyes on me and prevent my claiming the true 24/7 'Case in the Leap of Faith?

Who's the "rollin' fuck-up" 'round here now?

Corey Smith, the guy who denies defining a sociopath because he invited people "into his house"- during the attention grabbing timin' 'a the pandemic no less, NOT prior as would a sincerely charitable person, because we all know there was a void in homelessness and poverty before covid hit -CLEARLY for the look of it in an attempt to appear normal and "benevolent" and grant 'imself an excuse to lord it over anyone in response to gettin' called out on his solidly displayed tendency towards arrogance.

The guy who exhibits anti-social behavior by alienating his peers from a position of "I'm above you all", the self described "thoroughbred", who whittles down the list of XWFamily names via bullying and then angrily demands to know HOW that can be seen as bullying.

The guy who exhibited anti-social behavior among his few friends in his opening promo, givin' 'em a pissy attitude because awwwwww widdle Corey isn't happy and can't see past his own self-centered feelings to avoid hurtin' the feelings of others who actually care about 'im.

The guy who uses flattery and oh woe is me pity party plays for sympathy to more effectively appear a less likely target for criticism and less like the arrogant people-hatin' piece 'a pretentious shit he really is.

What's the definition of a sociopath?

Someone who has antisocial personality disorder. People with ASPD can’t understand others’ feelings. They’ll often make impulsive decisions without feeling guilty for the harm they cause. People with ASPD may also use “mind games” to control friends, family members, co-workers, and even strangers. They may also be perceived as charismatic or charming.

Corey. Smith.

That's you to a T motherfucker.

All in all, what have I accomplished against you in this wicked war of words Corey?

I've proven you:

A. Don't know WHERE I am
B. Don't know WHO I am
C. Don't pay attention
D. Cannot control your extreme ego and emotions to avoid self-sabotage
E. Are extremely easy to fool to disastrous effect

Do you know what that all amounts to?



Made ya kill your cosplay, hero.

Made ya kill your content.

Made ya kill yourself.

From the word go I've led you around by the uncut flesh 'a your infant dick, Corey. Every move I've made was calculated. Every move you've made was impulsive. You'll probably point out the "hypocrisy" that I accuse you of desperation maneuvers to double up on the content due to feelings of inadequacy when I "did similar" in my second, Return Fire. But you'll be, as ever, clueless to the truth and that being THIS is what I do. I come outta the gate at a charge, I intensify the pressure in round two and I calmly move in for the kill by the conclusion. I've done nothin' inconsistent with what I always do. It's still you who recognized a need to overcompensate and put in the effort you didn't show from the START...and for your third attempt, in light 'a the supremely beefy nature 'a my Return Fire, you'll more than likely repeat the action.

Would anyone at this point be surprised if little Corey Smith now panics and loses further control of himself to the point he becomes even more susceptible to an emerging Engy, Lux or (insert 3rd dickless move here) and one of them appears? If they do appear, I'll crush whomever it is as I've crushed you Corey.

And btw...hate to break it to you "bud", but the XWF cameras see and hear all. ALL. I know ya hates to have any subject at all readily available for attack but that's what the world is Corey; outta your fuckin' control.

The golden boys been gutted.

Tryta keep me from the true 24/7 'Case in the Leap of Faith match, I'll knock you back into a coma and give you a valid excuse to invent welcome another "ok, NOW I'm serious" super powered persona inta your circlejerk.

And speakin' 'a jag-offs...

Chaos, keep that pussy wet for me, you're gettin' fucked before I retire you for good.

Demos, you wonder why I paid you the compliment of treatin' you like the threat you SHOULD be? Jesus, you really ARE just gonna torpedo your career here aren't you... And I-D-K how or why you did it but you've somehow proven yourself more a fuck-up than Chaos ever could, even he knows I been doin' what I do for years and he may even tryta legit merk you for usurping uslurpin' 'is perma position around my cock, it's all he has. Seriously, I frightened you inta beast bitchmode then forced you inta botchmode. See what happens when you spend all your free time jackin' off? You shift gears from Gump to turbo. Kurt Cobain has more brain matter than you do. Half your headless harangue was 0% accurate, the other half is a mixed bag 'a bullshit you'd have avoided if you'd personally taken the time to research as opposed to apparently takin' advice from a lazy loser who's never defeated me and never will. You couldn't make a shot at me stick if your balls were fulla Loctite limpdick. I own you.

Ariel Dixon...gain some goddamn self respect, you've officially set your gender back 7 decades. Oh and Paul Dini called, he'd rather suck Stan's dead dick and sellout to Disney than see his property molested by a dark match enhancement talent duo.

RL, wayta live up to my words and ignore the tough love I fully intended to INSPIRE you to TRY and not define what Demos seems to think describes Caedus in any way. Oswald looks better than you do.

Oswald... Listen or don't. But heed this: if the loss of your parents was as tragic for you as you've made appear, you ain't honorin' them the way you are now, you're pissin' on their memory. Stop tryna fit in with the wrong crowd, cuck. Sever ties with BoB, pull your funding and form a tag team with Graves. Shit could approach Cady-Gravy level gold. Oh and stay the fuck outta my way in the Leap of Faith or I'll kick you in the taint so hard it'll split you vertically.

And finally, Dock.

I saw DOCK-Punch. Bravo.

Lemme get this straight... instead 'a showin' less human vulnerability you decide to show more? You draw back and await for a final day assault, possibly a double bomb drop? Christ, not even Demos ended up wantin' to look so spineless. Perhaps no one else will say it, I will: regardless of what you might respond with, you made the legendary Doc(k) look incredibly weak. You really are afraid to tangle with any of us in any fashion considered head-on.

You ain't just a legend Doc(k), you're THE legend in this business but your actions as of late are severely unbecoming 'a the designation. Do you- YOU -really need to pull this kinda shit? If you have haymakers to deliver, what's stoppin' ya? Are you that terrified to allow anyone else a decent amount 'a time to respond? Are you that insecure now over the loss to Alias?

Quit mixin' potions and get back to work Scary Plotter, the shit is embarrassing.

The mighty Dock, so unsure of his ability to dominate he had to cower in a corner and camp like an MMOFPS bitch. Say whatever you desire about "smart strategy", win or lose you still look fearful and hesitant (two qualities that won't translate well in the match) and you've done nothin' but solidify what I've said about you. I don't NEED to respond directly to your latest. You've become vulnerable and you've displayed a breakdown in mental ability with the type 'a mistakes directed at me in your opener I'd expect from Chaos.

The worst part about it is, you prob'ly don't care how thoroughly you've undermined your appearance here as a means to your ends of ensuring 9 other competitors don't win.

And you would, wouldn't you. You'd ironically go about it that far to satisfy your fragile, very human ego and ultimately kill off the legend in the process.

Pathetic.

You're The Dock D'Ville. No L in your column could ever take that away, you can only surrender it.

And you are.

Because if this is how it's gonna be, you ain't a legend you're a myth.

You couldn't care less, I know, I'll say it anyway...my abusive way 'a wagin' word war aside, you have no idea how much respect I've had for you in my nigh 5 years on and off the active roster. For you to go this route is a personal letdown for me and honestly, your assumed arrogant retort in response would matter as little to me as the name D'Ville does to you.

You and anyone else can say what you will about me but if I hadn't had the strength, courage and determination to conquer what made me my own worst enemy I never woulda been able to come back.

Period.

Everyone has flaws but to force yourself to face those flaws, take personal responsibility and correct them requires tremendous will not everyone possesses. Some like Corey can't see past their own narcissism. Others like Chaos are simply incapable of identifyin' the issues. You Dock, you CHOOSE to ignore your flaws and you magnify them as a consequence. I mean, it's either that or I'm givin' you far too much credit as a learned man, doctor. You falsely claim to not be the same you were before (physical transformation aside) but I'm truly not the man I was when I left. I kept the ability and dropped the major flaw I've had my entire life. Win or lose, that makes me significantly more dangerous.

Big Bossman Lane may have been specific with 'is words but I'm in this for victory. I'm in this for the good 'a the company in preventin' another push by BoB and kickin' off the crumblin' 'a their empire with the true 24/7 Briefcase. And goddammit Dock, my motivation here is the measure of a man who will face down any threat great or small and push 'imself beyond 'is own limits to accomplish what HAS to be done. I've been doin' it since we started.

There is no choice for me, this is an obligation to somethin' greater than ego, revenge, redemption... Greater than any man or woman. Greater than Dock 'imself.

Justice. The light. The right.

That gives me strength akin to a parent liftin' a truck off their child. And not only do I know the loss of one child I know the addition of another, born into a world of growing misery and corruption. I know the responsibility to do whatever in my power to provide a safer place for 'er in which to not only exist but to thrive as I know she can. I may be facin' a monumental task as one against the world in that regard but the XWF reaches millions...and it gives me the platform to set an example others will follow. To allow attempted MURDERERS and those like YOU Dock who would enable them to remain a threat is impossible. Stoppin' you, Oz and everyone else in the match gets me that much closer to stompin' out the flames 'a BoB. And if somethin' as seemingly insignificant as a wrestlin' match by comparison to the world at large gets the "good fight" merely an millimeter closer to tippin' the scales in favor of victory- and it does, one seed planted in the mind 'a the right viewer could be the catalyst for positive change -then I'll put my life on the line to achieve it.

I'm doin' this.

I'm doin' it for me, for Robert, for APEX, for Boss Lane and the XWF.

I'm doin' it for the world.

Fuck a smartass flip response, I'm doin' this for my daughter and every other kid and loving parent out there.

You and everyone else are gonna hafta quite literally kill me in the Leap of Faith to stop me.



Take your best fuckin' shot.




XXXFXOXRXXXTXHXEXXXHXEXRXOXEXSXXX

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~XWF ALL TIME TOP 50 - #6!!!! <3
~Efed Podcast Top 100 - #74 w/no Twitter (all credit to you, fam, 🙏 <3)
~XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF XTREME CHAMPION - 2x
~XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION w/Chaos then Engy, w/APEX x2 - 3x 
~XWF 24/7 Briefcase - 3x
~XWF Trio Tag Champion w/Ax3 - 1x
~XWF Television Champion - 1x (undefeated)
~XWF Federweight Champion - 2x
~XWF Triple Title Holder - 1x (TV, Federweight & 24/7 case)
~XWF Double Title Holder - 5x (TV/Fedr, Uni/Trio, Tag/24/7, X/24/7 & Uni/Tag)
~XWF 2017 Lethal Lottery IV Tournament winner!!
~XWF 2017 Leap of Faith Rafter Match winner!!
~XWF 2017 2nd Annual Doc D'Ville Shove-It Rumble Co-Winner w/Chaos!!
~XWF 2017 War Games Co-Winner with Rob Main & Drew Archyle as APEX!!
~XWF Feb. 2017 J. Federweight Scramble Winner!!
~XWF January 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Like a Moth to the Flame"
~XWF February 2017 Star of the Month!!
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~XWF September 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Lions & Tigers & Caedus, Oh Shit"
~XWF July 2021 QOTM!! - line from "Took It All"
~XWF October 2021 RP of the Month!! - "This Just In" audio
~XWF November 2021 Star of the Month!! (3rd time!!!!!!)
~XWF Match of the Year 2021 w/Bourbsy!! - X-Treme, Flynn's Audio Shove-It


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