BOBTUBE EXCLUSIVE


The scene opens with a shot of Tommy Slavino sitting in front of a BOBTUBE backdrop.





Tommy Slavino: Good evening wrestling fans and welcome to another BOBTUBE exclusive interview with the XWF Universal Champion, the incomparable “Chronic” Chris Page!


The camera pulls back to reveal Chris Page seated next to Tommy as he is dressed in casual attire, jeans, a white t-shirt, black shades covering his eyes with his hair pulled back in a ponytail. Resting in his lap is the XWF Universal Championship.


Tommy Slavino: Chris Page welcome once again to BOBTUBE, and thank you for granting me the only interview you will be doing for the upcoming Leap of Faith Pay-Per-View event that is being headlined by the marquee attraction as you defend the Universal Championship against Robert Main.


” Tommy I would not ever pass up the opportunity to speak with the greatest commentator this great sport has ever seen.”


Tommy Slavino: I greatly appreciate that sir.


” It takes a GOAT to know a GOAT, and we sir are the GOATS.”


Tommy Slavino: You are one of the GOATS and that is not even debatable with the rigorous schedule you have had over the last six or seven-week with back to back to back title defenses. I know you take a lot of pride in being what they call a “fighting” champion, and with this being a Pay-Per-View weekend I wanted to take some time to reflect back to Snow Job when you claimed the Universal Championship for the first time. It was always a title that eluded you until 2021.


” Putting myself in a position to win the title is what I take more pride in than actually winning the belt itself. It is not every day that you get to dick over the single biggest poster boy in the XWF’s history. Taking out Robert Main was the groundwork to getting to challenge Thaddeus, and I knew if I got Robert out of the equation Thad would be the walk in the park he turned out to be. I will say that just winning the title in general there was a sense of accomplishment of finally achieving that goal that seemed all but out of reach. I always knew that I would be the Universal Champion at some point, but never so late in my career. It is not every day that someone pushing fifty years old can outwork kids more than half his age without breaking a sweat. I have done that in spades since staking claim to the title, and will continue to do so until I am ready to let go of it.”


Tommy Slavino: You are coming off successful defenses opposite Demos, RL Edgar, and John Black as you now look ahead to Robert Main. Over the last four months which title defense, and let us lump Big D and Drew Archyle into this mix, which title defense has been the most challenging?


” Well I would say Robert Main but we all have seen how this has shaken out, so he is certainly out of that equation. John Black put up a solid effort but the end result was never in doubt. I mean do not get me wrong I love John Black and the work he has done with the Thugs to even his work within the early stages of BOB, and while he put up more a fight than Robert has he is not in the top tier of challengers.”


There is a pause from Chris before he states.


” Dealing with Big D did not pack the punch I wanted nor was embarrassing Drew Archyle back at March Madness so they are both out of the mix as well. Demos was by far the weakest of the bunch because the mother fucker made up half of his shit why he went and made way too many mistakes along the way. My favorite defense was against R.L. Edgar thus far because he capitalized on the mistakes I made inside of and outside of the ring better than anyone else has to date. He is the only person of the bunch that I went out of my way to retract a stipulation for based on the work he put in and just how goddamn close he came to defeat me.”[green]


Tommy Slavino: He is still a little prick.


[green]” That very well might be the case, but he is a prick that had me reeling off rip but just could not keep the momentum going. He had more spunk and more fight than anyone else including Thad since I have been on this rise with the federation.”


Tommy Slavino: When we talk about Leap of Faith the first thing that jumps out at me is how the fuck are you doing a Pay-Per-View on the damn moon?


” You cannot blame Vinnie for trying something different regardless of how off the wall the idea is. I can honestly say that I have never been to the moon let alone headlined a Pay-Per-View from it. I do not really know what to expect other than doing everything within my power to make sure that I not only step on the moon as the Universal Champion, but I leave that way too. When I first heard about this venture I, like most, rolled his fucking eyes but now as we are getting closer and closer to this historic event it is only fitting that I am on top right where I should be. The only thing that is a hiccup to me is having to defend against a fucking idiot that just needs to do what he has done the last several weeks, and that sits on the sidelines and shut the fuck up.”


Tommy Slavino: The story between you and Robert Main is storied to say the very least. Now you are on the verge of revisiting this showdown on monumental proportions a full two years since the last time you two squared off for the Universal Title. What is running through your mind as we are a few days away from this meeting.


” The first thought is a disappointment for sure.”


Tommy Slavino: Why do you say that?


” It is crystal clear that this is not a big deal to Robert based off of how little the peckerhead has bothered to promote or take any interest at all around the significance this big fight feel brings to the table. He wasted the time of everyone involved in the Leap of Faith Battle Royale because had anyone else got this opportunity they would have made the most of it, unlike my counterpart who thought the best action was waiting the final hours to remotely give a shit.”


Chris rubs the palm of his right hand across the gold plate of his Universal Championship as he continues.


” The Universal Championship is what makes the world go round here within the land of Xtreme. It is arguably the most important title within the federation, and you expect me to believe that this is not about the title? Fuck man, even if it is about revenge one would assume that he would have taken me up on my offer for a fight that does not revolve around the title itself, but did he do that?”


Tommy Slavino: No sir, he did not.


” Correct, so I say all that to say this… what is Robert Main fighting for? Is he fighting me for his own selfish reasons? I mean I did nearly have him killed and the best shots he can take at me are generic bullshit at best. There is no fire from Robert Main, there is no big fight feel that once encompassed this upcoming confrontation because he took the winds out of those sails a week ago. Robert Main is nothing more than a lost little boy trying feverishly to convince whoever will listen that he is still the man around here when he has not been the man in two goddamn years. Every step we have taken has been to the beat of my drum to perfection. Leap of Faith is not going to be any different, I win and he loses. Period.”


Tommy Slavino: Not only do you have Robert Main to contend with but the idea that not one but TWO briefcases are going to be in play by the time this Main Event gets to the ring. Are you remotely concerned that a cash-in could take place, and if so do you have any safety nets in place to prevent them?


” This is the part where I am supposed to play into that cocky, egotistical side of things by telling you that I am goddamn superman or some shit; let us talk about the facts that surround this situation for just a second. Two briefcases are in the mix by the time the opening bell of this match with Main begins. I do not care if your name is Chris Page, James Raven, Big Shank, or even Jayzon Williams to your modern era folks like Robert Main, Engy, Jim Caedus; whoever is sitting in this chair with this title your days are numbered. You cannot prepare for the unknown, all you can do is put up the best fight you can. The only safety net that I will need is with my rematch that will be guaranteed.”


There is another quick pause from Chris before he sarcastically spouts out at Tommy.


” ironically, my reign has restored credibility to this belt to the degree that Vinnie and Theo had to resort to super stacking the odds against me. What I find amusing about all of it is how am I am looked at that much of a threat to this federation that it has to bring two twenty-four-seven contracts into the mix to thwart my efforts to turn this run into one of the greatest runs of the modern era. The fact of the matter is this, Tommy; nobody can touch me when I am in my element; which has been proven with every outing I have had since becoming the Universal Champion. What should rattle the brains of the briefcase holders is not when they elect to cash in, and might I remind you that there has never been a successful defense against it, what racks their brains should not be picking that spot… what they should be thinking about is what happens when the shoe is on the other foot? What happens when there is one briefcase and one rematch in the mix? We all saw how patient I was the first time around.”


Tommy Slavino: Things are not ever simple with you as I am starting to see. I love that!


” It is all a part of the game Tommy. It is everyone else job to beat me not the other way around. I accomplished my goal back at Snow Job, and once I kick the crap out of Robert Main my purpose will be complete. Beating Robert Main for the Universal Championship is the icing on this cake; hell I might vacate it after because my point is going to be proven. I have always stated that I do not need the title to be the hottest thing going in the federation… it is a bonus. There are pieces of talent that NEED it versus guys like me that just want it because it is a nice little toy to parade around. My endgame exceeds the Universal Title.”


Tommy Slavino: When you say you have a bigger endgame what exactly do you mean by that?


” It means that this has never really been about me. I have a part to play, sure… the endgame for me is the ongoing success of BOB. We started this from nothing and have turned it into one of if not the hottest group of badass talents to ever come together. BOB is stronger than it has ever been, and is only going to get stronger. I am playing a pivotal role in cultivating and developing the next big things in this business. Look at Leap of Faith and remove me from the equation. Miss Fury.”


Tommy Slavino: Let us start with Miss Fury, current bWo World Heavyweight Champion, and has the opportunity to leave Leap of Faith as the Anarchy Champion.


” Talk about someone I could not be more proud of how far she has advanced over the last year. She was constantly overlooked and made fun of, and yet now she is the bWo World Champion, but you hear people talk about how I handed her the title when making Big D eat his fucking words; she has defended that title all over the world… but now is also her time to rule over Anarchy with an Iron fucking fist. Something else people need to know about her, she is the mastermind behind the bWo Organization even being a thing. Not only did she do that, but she also got the XWF to pay up to put the shows on!”


Chris chuckles under his breath before he continues on.


” Miss Fury is smarter than most would ever think of giving her credit for. She is in control of her own destiny just like everyone else who is involved with BOB. She has been waiting eagerly for this one-on-one encounter to get her hands on Ruby, and not only to take away that Anarchy Championship, but to establish once and for all who the dominant female in this industry truly is. I have seen how seriously she is taking this first hand, and if I am Ruby I am shitting my goddamn panties for her time has officially come and gone. She will be the example, the sacrificial lamb that Miss Fury is going to slaughter.”


Tommy Slavino: It is safe to say that you and Miss Fury are a couple?


” I do not see where this is anyone’s concern… but yeah, she and I have our relationship and as her partner, I could not be more excited to see where she goes once she bounces Ruby’s skull off the mat.”


Tommy Slavino: Let me ask about Andre Dixon because he is heading into a very important title defense against Morbid Angel, his first title defense since taking the title off Marf back on May Day.


” Let me ask you a question, how many title opportunities can one man get? Morbid Angel has been given opportunity after opportunity. He had Alias for the Xtreme Title, Ned for the Hart Title, and now Andre for the TV Title? What is next for this glorified failure? Dixon is going to chew this fucker up and spit him out. I have worked with Andre and know-how unlimited his potential truly is. The Television Title is just a starting point for Dre but far from an ending point like it has been for Marf. There are big things on the horizon for Mr. Dixon, and knocking off Morbid is a foregone conclusion at least he will gain putting a former Universal Champions name on his list of fucking victims.”


Tommy Slavino: What do you think about this little thing with Lycana from Warfare?


” Dre can do what he wants with who he wants because this is not a dictatorship. If he wants to have conversations with Lycana that is his business, not mine. When we talk about BOB and how you control your destiny that is not a front that is the gospel. Why people hate us is because we have no problem telling you how it is. We do not cater to egos or care if we hurt your feelings because at the end of the day we get results. Andre Dixon is very much a part of that process as I am.”


Tommy Slavino: I feel like we have barely scratched the surface with what he is capable of.


” Very true.


Tommy Slavino: The Tag Team division have boomed over the last year or so…


Chris interjects as he cuts off Tommy.


” You are welcome.”


Tommy Slavino: I was about to say that it dates back to the days of
Cataclysm and continues through with Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon as Them No Good Bastards.


” I do love how people talk about the boost in the division by negating the run of Cataclysm because that is where this shit started. The plan was to always get the belts to Them No Good Bastards, which they attained and have now taken the ball and are running with it. Bourbs and Thunder Knuckles are going to be a dangerous force within the division as well as in singles competition if and when they choose to be. The future for BOB is brighter than most might think, and I would venture to say that perhaps there might be a few more members coming in very short order.”


Tommy Slavino: Are you dropping a hint?


” Maybe I am.”


Tommy Slavino: Someone that has really stepped up his game within BOB is Big Money Oswald following an incredible win over Demos to not laying down for this Leap of Faith match at the upcoming Pay-Per-View.


” Oswald has not only shown me something he should have shown the rest of the world something. He stepped out of a comfort zone and is shooting his shot, and not only am I proud of him I hope he wrecks fucking house.”


Tommy Slavino: Where do you see things going for BOB coming out of Leap of Faith? You said a little earlier that your focus is going to shift thereafter you kick Robert Main in the nuts, so I am curious as to what that looks like?


” The sky has always and will always be the limit when it comes to BOB. We adore how the simpletons assume that we end if or when the titles are not around our waists. It shows how simple-minded people are. We have big plans that we have not scratched the surface off just yet. It will take a force of nature or an act from God to stop us from our endgame.”


Tommy Slavino: Is there anything you want to say before we tie a bow on this?


” I will leave you with this; I guarantee you that I am going to deliver another one of those moments come Leap of Faith that will leave the jaws of the wrestling world on the fucking ground. I do not make false promises nor do I ever tell you something that you cannot take to the goddamn bank. We are on the rise regardless if it is here on Earth or on the goddamn moon. The one constant that shall remain firmly intact revolves around Chris Page successfully retaining the Universal Championship over Robert Main. If you or anyone else thinks I am walking into this not prepared or not focused you will think again; much like Robert has when it came to winning that Battle Royale at May Day.”


Tommy Slavino: Ladies and Gentleman we have been chatting with the XWF Universal Champion “Chronic” Chris Page. I am Tommy Slavino saying good night!


The scene fades to black.

- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former


With Robert "The Omega" Main

XWF World Heavyweight Champion