"A second chance doesn’t mean anything if you didn’t learn from your first."

CONTINUED:

Chris had made his way off the beautifully decorated balcony on which they were eating lunch, and towards the black Mercedes. Theo wasn't in tow, as he had stayed behind the pay the bill.

Have to make a good impression, after all.

$1,160 dollars.

Theo put it on the company AMEX, Vinnie pays that anyway.

After what felt like too long, Chris looked out the tinted window and saw Theo coming around the front, towards the driver side.

"You don't want to drive? That's a shock."

Chaos grinned.

"Take me to the Skyway Bridge, I hear that is where most of the commotion is going on."

Theo looked at him for a second. He didn't know where the fuck the Skyway Bridge was. Chris was the one who was from here. He should be the one driving.

Theo scoffed a little as he typed the address into the car's overly fancy navigation system.

"Fucking thing never works the way you want it to."

Sounds like half the roster.

Finally getting the GPS going, the montone computerized female voice telling them where to go, Chris laid back in his seat. Looking through the limo-tinted panoramix sun roof he closed his eyes for a second.

This car was like floating on air.

Maybe there was something to this corporate stuff after all.

He opened his eyes with an exhale.

"You know, Theo......there are a lot of people who aren't glad to see me back. A lot of people who prayed on my downfall, got their wish, and now are feeling some type of way that you picked me to represent you in this match"

Theo looked straight forward, trying to concentrate in the game of Frogger that is Florida roads.

"Good."

"The way I look at it....success is the best revenge. The better I can be at being me, the better I'll be."

"Oh, so this is all just a crusade to better yourself then, you're saying?"

Chris runs his fingers over the soft material on his dress shirt.

"You could say that. Yes. It's a second chance. A second lease on life. A leap of faith like I've never taken before."

As they got closer to their destination, traffic got worse. In this distance, they could see a barrage of firetrucks, EMS, police vehicles and unmarked squad cars. Something was going on at the bridge.

"How the hell did you know......."

Chris didn't say anything. He sat up intently in his seat, trying to get a better view over the backs of the cars in front of them.

"Get up close. I'm gonna get out."

Theo seemed a bit displeased with this decision, but knowing Chaos as being one for unpredictability, he could nod as he turned the wheel towards the sidewalk.

When they finally got close enough, Chaos opened the door and hopped out. He walked towards the bridge before being stopped by uniform police officers.

"Sorry sir, bridge is closed."

"I know."

He pushed through the two officers, who instantly began to yell "HEY!" and "GET BACK HERE", pulling their tasers.

Yes, tasers. He is white after all.

He picked up his pace as more officers joined the chase. Weaving in an out of the crowd that was forming and the swarms of medical and fire crews, he could see the edge of the bridge....the beautiful Tampa Bay and its glistening water.

The two cops who he initially shoved through got to him, grabbing his arm.

"GET ON THE GROUND!" they yelled, their tasers pointed directly at his back.

Ripping his arm away he put both of his arms over his head.

"GET....ON....THE....GROUND...!"

"Yeah....uh.....I'm, I'm not gonna do that."

The one officer who initially grabbed his arm went for it again, this time to force it behind his back. His other arm reached for cuffs.

"Am I under arrest, officer?

Jerking his arm behind his back, Chaos used his strength to pull it away......he asked again is he was under arrest.

"Yes."

"For?"

He was calm as a cucumber. Everyone's eyes were away from the scene on the bridge and now fixated on this well dressed man and his scuffle with Tampa PD.

They were much gentler with him than he expected. He was far from complying, but these officers didn't seem to want to go the "unnecessary force" route.

Something just seemed so off about this.

"I know the man on the bridge." he finally said. "That's my cousin."

The two officers looked at each other. How did he know there was a man on the bridge?

"He won't listen to anyone else but me. I basically raised him. You guys can sit there with your lights and siren's all you want, shouting into your megaphones, but at the end of the day he will be dead and you'll go back to harassing the fine people of Robles Park. Or East Ybor. And I'll go about my day, with one less family member and a whole lotta media on my side. So......whats it gonna be, gentlemen?"

The two cops, not wanting this smoke but also not feeling super comfortable with the situation, looked nervously at each other.

"We will walk you over there. So help you god if you're lying to us."

Chaos smiled a toothy grin.

"I am God."

Fixing the collar of his dress shirt that they ruffled......

"And I'm here to help."

The three of them walked to the area where the man was. He was over the barricade, between the permininter barrier, and hanging off the bridge using both hands. Chris rushed over when he saw him, just as the man began to let go. His fingers quivered.

Chaos grabbed his arm, and pulled up slightly.

"I am your cousin........ he said quietly to the man who looked at him confused.....

".....and if you want to die, I'm here to help....but we're gonna play a little game first......"

The man looked at Chaos with wide eyes. These two had never met each other before.

"You're playing with my fate?" he said.

"Aren't you?"

The man swallowed. What else did he have to lose.

A briefcase sat nearby, its black leather body glistening in the hot Florida sun.

"What's in the briefcase?"

The man hesitated for a second before saying softly...."my second chance......"

Chaos turned his head to look at it, then back down at the man.

He tightened his grip on his arm. A slight breeze blew in from over the water.......in the distance, a helicopter buzzed.

They were going to be on the news.........

BAY NEWS 9....

Pricks.

"So do you want to hit the water head first or feet first?"

The man's eyes went wide as Chris's grip gradually began to loosen......

TO BE CONTINUED:


"So after Jimmy's Bang Energy fueled tirade in round one, I see he is back for a brilliant piece of promotional material. A real Emmy Award winner. For Jim, its always been a playground mentality. Whose the biggest and baddest bully, who can steal the most toys and kiss the most little girls under the jungle gym, with no real "what if" in place.

Like Mike Tyson once said, "everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth". Jim is a classic example of "can dish it but can't take it", and based on his comeback promo, I am not sure he can coherently dish it anymore, either.

But we'll get there.

Eventually.

Sticks and stones, Jimmy boy.

The biggest reason why Chris Chaos is such a dirty name in your dictionary is because your puff chested tactics never worked against me. No matter how many times we faced off, no matter how many times you tossed me around like a rag doll, I always came back, face to face, nose to nose, and told you to fuck yourself.

I am your Oliver Twist.

"Please sir, I'd like some more."

You're entire attack is based on people being afraid of you. The fact I am not, and haven't been, it drives you into fits. The fact that I am willing to take every beating you dish out and still stand back up and spit in your big dumb face, you can't handle it.

Your entire "promo", if you can even call it that, felt like hours. It felt like a defensive driving course video, but nobody was taking notes. We've seen it all before Jim. Adapt? Change? You're still the same fiery piece of trailer park garbage you've always been, except this time, you spoke a little less like Boomhauer and a little more like Hank.

6 in one half dozen another, amirite?

But Jim, I couldn't help but notice that a majority of that rambling mess off that first thing you called a "promo" was about none other than myself. This further proves that you can't and won't ever get over the phycological trauma I've caused you. You even went as far as telling the world you "gifted" me my last victory? Right Jim.....gifted. Why not tell them the truth. Why not tell them you soiled your diaper and threw a tantrum when your buddy Main wasn't there to change you this time. No nice cool WetNap on those balls.

This time you attacked him because you got a strange 6th sense he was cutting you out of the will.

Uninviting you to the birthday party.

Taking your ball and throwing it over the fence.

So you did it for him, and walked out thinking you looked like the better person because of it, meanwhile we ALLLLLLL had a good laugh at your expense afterwards.

Yes, you tossed me off the scaffolding last time we were in the briefcase match....I get it. You and I to the bloody end, buddy!

You won that 24/7 contract, didn't ya? And you beat me to do it. Funny how you left that little tidbit out in all of that dick waving you were doing. All you focused on is how I did not win all thanks to you.......but totally left out how YOU actually WON it. Maybe beating me really IS more important to ya....

Wow, I feel so special.

So what the fuck was the point, Jim? To take me out.....ex-fucking-actly. You are nothing here without me. Your rivalry with me has defined your otherwise lukewarm career. Robert Main has a better win/loss tally against me....just another notch on the scoresheet for something he did better than you.

So that's what now.....everything?

Pathetic.

The meat and potatoes of this entire thing, and what makes me laugh the most, is in your second "promo", where you pointed out how I refuse to change. I mean, I changed my ring gear, my out of ring dress style, my bank, my whip.....but overall, yes, you're right, I am still the same asshole I was before.

Way to steal Corey's argument by the way. Fashionably late to the party again there, Jim. But god forbid we call you out on it. Theft is a serious accusation. Wouldn't want you to get all butt hurt and quit again.....

Oh wait...yes we would.

Fuck you.

Jim, you want to sit here and talk about change. Seems to be a trend with you and that Corey guy.....guy? Girl?

Corey.

You both want to talk about me not changing. Me being the same as always.

I FUCKING KNOW.

I am the SAME me who earned a top ten spot here. The SAME me who has been in every main event damn near from late 2016-2018. The SAME me who tore through the roster and CHANGED..........IT. This place hasn't been the same as it was before I got here. IF ANYTHING, I have CHANGED after 2018. I wasn't myself. I had 'lost a step', I lost my spark, I lost my direction. THIS me, well....this me, has been here all along. He just needed a little kick in the ass. A shove off a cliff. A Leap of Faith.

It's funny what money can do.

Jim if anything it is you who hasn't changed. You come storming into this company again, full steam ahead, and expect people to quiver before your hand.

Your back hand is dreadful. No wonder Jaslene Sugay played you like a Kardashian.

Jim, you were calling me a woman, a cum slut, talking about blowing out my asshole, facefucking.....YEARS ago. That's your stich. That's what you do. Just go on Urban Dictionary and look up "funny ways to insult someone using other words for anus." And BOOM. Jim Caedus promo.

You bitch and moan about corporate, and how I lick Theo's ass while you are Vinnie's answer to the corporate skirmish.

Ummmm Jim.....

I hate to be the one to tell you this bud.....

Uh...ah...jeez.....uh....

*scratches head*

Who do you think signs Theo's checks?

VINNIE IS CORPORATE, YOU WINDOW LICKER.

Sure he dresses like a dollar store hippie but at the end of the day he is the boss, he is the man, he is the definination of "corporate".

You fucking potato.

But it's okay....Jim, I didn't expect you to know any better.

"Throughout the years the one thing people threw in my face was redundancy, contradiction, and pointing out the flat-out obvious and trying to make people think it was my own brilliant idea. Some people called me stupid (some people still do), and some people admitted that they flat out hate me (and most people still do), but one thing people did was listen to every word I said. Whether it was to soak in it like a preacher to his mass, or to try to completely eviscerate it. Either way, they listened. I have seen, heard and been on the rebound end of quite a bit of heat, and a lions share of stupid shit. Most of the time when people say something here, I assume it is of the stupid-shit variety. There are a few who I actually return the favor for, however, and people who when they speak I actually sit down, pour a drink, light a cigar and listen. Soak it in. Let it marinate. Often times, those people leave me with a sinking feeling in my gut and an entire Denny's Grand Slam worth of egg on my face.....and nine times out of ten I sit back and go "ahhh shit...they got me." Rarely does anyone but the also-rans who try to play kick ball with the big kids and end up with gum in their hair and a wedgie up their ass, leave me scratching my head and wondering where they were supposed to be making a point. So imagine my shock when I found out that Option 2 was......you. Corey.....you poor, lost little boy. Boy? I'm going with boy. You directionless chap, you. Maybe the Engineer really is gone for good. Your insults used to be so invigorating. They used to sting like hydrogen peroxide to a dirt filled scrape, with the same sizzle and fizz. They used to leave me jaw agape and wondering what the fuck I could possibly say to counter that.

EAT FUCKING SHIT CHRIS!!

No, REALLY! EAT FUCKING SHIT! SHIT IN YOUR HAND, BRING IT UP TO YOUR MOUTH AND GUZZLE ALL THE FUCKING SHIT YOU CAN!!! AND THEN WHEN YOU PUKE IT ALL BACK UP YOU LICK THAT SHIT PUKE UP OFF THE FLOOR!!!!

That was a little gem from the demented mouth of the Engineer back in 2018. I mean, how can I come back from that? A real doozy.

*rolls eyes*

Okay, maybe a bad example, but you know what I am saying! Engy used to be the edgy one that everyone either felt bad for or looked up to. Yet, you wanna call ME an edgelord? And just when I thought this delirium couldn't get any worse, you crushed this mineral into diamond......

"Maybe if you dumped your shitty misplaced sense of superiority attitude for once you might achieve the same level of success you had waaaaaay back in 2016 instead of flopping aimlessly around the midcard."

Umm excuse me sir....can I go with sir? Still confused on what you people deem acceptable as "Present Tense". Anyway....excuse me but.....wasn't it that sense of superiority and in your face attitude that garnered my success back then? That "I'm gonna kick your dick down your throat and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it" mantra that is what everyone loved and wished they could have back? Wasn't it a "softer" Chris Chaos everyone had been bitching about? You certainly are a confusing one.

"Sometimes change is progress Chris. Sometimes change is better."

But....my changes aren't better? Only your changes are? What a self-centered viewpoint, Mr. "Decent Human Being."

Hey Corey...Peter Pan called, he wants his androgyny back. I think you are so far away from any semblance of the only version of "you" that was any good that you can't even form a cogent insult anymore! You used to be able to break people down to a molecular level, make them question their self worth.......

Oh wait, that was the Engineer, wasn't it? Or his mouthpiece with a voice like a megaphone and a clit the size of a small croissant, Madison Dyson....rest her soul. Real shame.

Poor thing.

COREY SMITH never did any of that, did he? No. Corey Smith tries to float by on previous accomplishments of someone he doesn't even take one hundred percent credit for. You went from being one of the creepiest and most intimidating figures on this roster to looking like the cause of office sensitivity training. You look like you just show up and tell people you're vegan.

Back to the discussion of my "changes". I haven't changed a bit. If anything, I have opened up Pandora's Box and went back in time (something you seem to do so flawlessly....jealous!) and became the OLD Chris Chaos. The GOOD Chris Chaos. The Chris Chaos that the Engineer had to cash in a briefcase against just to take a tag belt off of......the Chris Chaos that you even admitted back in the day was one of the best to ever do this. Sure, my wardrobe is a bit more dapper, my paychecks have a bit more zero's, my car is lightyears nicer.....but change? Oh no, Corey, I haven't changed.....I have AWOKEN.

........as has your burning desire to be like me.

Oh yes, you've always wanted to be like Chris Chaos. Trapped in your own head, meandering around the internal psych ward between your skull plates.....you've always wanted a piece of what I had. I had the girl, the gold, the fame, the namesake, and the 'go fuck yourself' attitude that nobody with less than a year of experience should have brought to the party. My issue? I began to care......

*gasps abound*

Yes....I began to CARE what people thought of me. I began to walk on egg shells around here because I cared more about what people thought of me than my own success inside that ring. I wanted everyone to like me, and it made them hate me more. It made ME hate me more. So while on this crusade to be less like the old me and more like the new me, you've fucked it all up yet again and are going to end up LOSING to me. While you are back down to earth and sputtering between manic bouts and Seroquel prescriptions, I am getting back to the one thing that made me somebody in this puss ridden cess pool......being the best in the world at what I do.

Getting under people's skin. Making it crawl. I'm surely under yours. So much so that you don't even realize just how ME you've become.........

This brings back the "changes" argument. You opened your diatribe against me by saying that I am back for the umpteenth time with a new routine, a new gimmick to get myself over, a new 'persona' of you will. You ramble on a bit, teetering on the brink of a hemorrhagic stroke out and a massive coronary, before you finally get to the point you really meant......that I haven't changed, because I am not capable of changing. Apparently, I don't know any better?

I'll take Consistency for $400 please!

Oh score, Double Jepordy!

Sounds very Chris Chaos'y to me, no?

And if that isn't the icing on the diabetes cake, Corey, you than dug a little deeper into the Chris Chaos arsenal......

The I beat so and so so therefore I am better!

You blistering donut.

At least throw names out there with some merit. Make your brag mean something!

You beat James Raven?

Ahh, so he stopped finger fucking his paperweight and put down the expense reports to actually show up? James Raven?

Been there, done that.

94 year old Centurion who is undeniably a legend but has a tendency to mail it in if it isn't in his best interest or a title isn't involved. Over here bragging about beating on senior citizens. Shame!

And Betsy Granger? The most over-hyped and over-rated 'champion' this decade. What, she beat Jenny Myst so that makes her good? The only reason the Shooting Star title is ranked ahead of the Internet and Anarchy Titles is to give our kitchen division something to pillow fight over and leave the real titles to the adults. She pigeon-holed herself into a dead division because she couldn't get over the fact that she will never be Sarah Lacklan but her lust for gold was stronger than her lust for Edy's Rocky Road once a week every three weeks!

Congrats, Corey, you beat the Lions, Bengals and the '95 Cowboys.

Bravo.

Do you know what they did when I said that stuff? They rolled their eyes.

Do you know what they do when you say it? They fluff your balls and tell you how good you are, but when your back is turned, they roll their eyes.

They roll them hard.

They roll them harder than the zipper on Demo's Levi's tries to stay vertical.

And you haven't been pinned or submitted, in this body or whatever the fuck, since 2019?

Wasn't it Chris Chaos who said a similar thing about not being pinned or submitted in a particular time frame? Wasn't it YOU who called him out on it a couple times?

Or was that Engineer?

Or Dexter?

Or that little cock-knocker son of his, whose life I ruined worse than being a mongoloid with "Bright" as a last name.

Or was he yours?

Or do you know?

You're becoming more like me with every passing second, but even in your finest hour you'll never quite get there.

Seems to be a trend, eh?

Corey Smith wants to brag? I look through the title histories and I see the Engineer almost EVERYWHERE.....I see Lux not far behind. I don't see Corey Smith.

Hiding in the closet literally AND metaphorically...

So lets recap. Redudency. Incoherant and loosely thrown together points. Incessent rambling about minor accomplishments.

Holy shit. You ARE becoming Chris Chaos.

The DIFFERENCE Corey is that "you've" been back for 6 months and haven't done jack shit and wanna brag about it. I was UNIVERSAL CHAMPION in my FIRST FOUR, and still wanna brag about it.

You even failed at being me.

So maybe you're right. Maybe change is good. Maybe the XWF has passed "you" by. Maybe this game isn't for "you" anymore. Try reddit.

r/confusedboners is a group that might fit you well.

See what I did there?

You'll never live up to the standards I put on myself to be great. And you, as this human embodiment of strawberry vape pens and artisanal pretzels at the food court while wearing Birkenstocks and drinking organic breast milk from your "VAX UP OR MASK UP" thermal mug, will NEVER be as good as the 'alter ego' you are so desperately trying to quarantine.

I brought the old me back, and I'm like, your hero and such. If I can do it, you can too!

"I never had to lick boot to get ahead."

Well maybe you should have."

Awww, what's the matter Ozzy Bear, did I hurt your feelings? Awwww. Poor thinng.

Looks like Forrest Gump finally got around the missing Jennay. And mamma. And Bubba.

But never Lieutenant Dan. Fuck that guy.

You deserve to be hurt, you worthless piece of garbage.

But I have to ask, where did the Robbie Bourbon reference come from? My 'trash talk' wasn't cheesy, over-the-top for the sake of being over-the-top, and didn't have anything to do with being morbidly obese. So, why bring him up at all? I plopped some of his shit on your head? Have you ever heard a Robbie Bourbon promo? Hell, for that matter, have you ever even see Robbie Bourbon in person? I know, I know, you 'work with him', which is even more shocking that you don't know what he sounds like. I bet you know what he smells like, though, because apparently you've got your large head so far up his ass you're struggling to decipher where you end and he begins.

I plopped some of his shit on your head?

I think the only shit here is INSIDE your head, Oz.

You really want to throw at me how you've got a wife and a child? THAT's your one up?! Have you ever been to the mall, like ever? A lot of people you'd never expect to interact with the opposite sex outside of a computer screen lumber through the mall together, hand in hand like damn sausage casings. And a child? Do you think I give a fuck? Is that supposed to be an accomplishment?

I'll kick your child in the teeth, then feed them to you. Matter of fact, I'll make your child watch as I make his father look like a bigger clown than he already makes himself look like every time he opens his mouth.......then I'll kick your child in the teeth, then feed them to you.

If you think I’m a charity case, then how does it look for you, when you ran up to Theo and cried and whined and complained about being part of this match?

Good Lord in Heaven, save this one! You really are dense! You've been listening to too many Jim Caedus promo's.

THEO PRYCE HAND PICKED ME TO REPRESENT HIM IN THIS MATCH YOU FUCKING NEANDERTHAL.

I was happily retired and home with Mandii Rider (who, by the way I am fucking and have been for a while but way to pay attention to current events, jackoff), when I got the call FROM Theo. Quite frankly, I'm back because the check cleared. God, no wonder B.O.B doesn't invite you to the Christmas parties!

You were tired of being spat upon and looked at as comical trash? Well, Gandhi, be the change you wanna be. If you weren't such a heaping pile of comical trash, I am almost certain people wouldn't treat you as such.

You beat Demos?

WHO HASN'T BEATEN DEMOS? Hell, the gender fluid half- bag boy at Aldi's who stutters and spends half the day with a load in his pants has beaten Demo's at this point. It is kind of the cool thing to do these days.

You know what? You've lost your speaking privilege's. Go sit in the corner with your Versace dunce cap and reflect on why you're such a walking turd. Go on, it'll be good for you.

I was tired of being overlooked

No, Oz, we just got tired of looking.

Doc.....

Really, what is there to say about you? You're old. Sure. Ugly? Now moreso than ever. Cocky? Why wouldn't you be? It is you who, after all this time, continues to be a force of dominance and reckoning here. It is you who, after all this time, is the last true artifact of the glory days of XWF.

Heh, artifact.

Everyone probably thought I was going to come out here and take shots at you, Doc. That I was going to go on some hate filled rant and get all Jim Caedusy on you....

*shudders*

But that isn't my M.O. No Doc, not with you. Instead I come at you from a position of respect. That is a lot, coming from me. Hell, if I had to bet on anyone other than myself to win this thing, I'd put all of my X-Bux on you.

But you aren't going to win, Doc. Oh no. You see, this is 2016 all over again. This is arguably THE BEST to ever do this against a force and fury like no other. The difference? Back then, I wanted to destroy you, I wanted to put you on the shelf, I wanted to retire you. Now......

Awh hell, who am I fooling? I still want to retire you. This time I want to be the one to score that final death knell, the blow to end all blows, to pull that life support plug. Respectfully, of course.

I want to be the one to do it. In fact, I would be HONORED to be the one to do it. I didn't respect what I accomplished back then. I waved it in everyone's face because I felt like--admittedly in my own delusion--that maybe the good Doc wasn't all he was cracked up to be. I thought I was untouchable. That I was going to be the next you and that your time had come and gone.

I was young and dumb.

It took me this long to actually realize the magnitude of what I accomplished back then. The historical significance to the future of this company going forward. Instead of beating an old man down, I had actually gotten away with one when perhaps I shouldn't have.

I STOLE one.

And now, Doc, I get a chance to steal one again. I have a chance to steal another accolade from you and re-open the eyes of every member of this roster. I get to rip glory from your hands once again. I get to be the one to use you as a launchpad for the second time in half a decade......and Doc.....

I say this with all due respect.....

Don't hate the game, hate the player.

You made the same mistake that Jimmy made, except without the Saturday-Morning-Wal-Mart-Sale-Ended-and-Coupon-Is-No-Longer-Valid theatrics.

You should have ended me when you had the chance.

What is about to happen is your own fault."