It was a dark and stormy night.


The cameras faded backstage, just after the King's glorious entrance, and onto Alias’s stupid face. It pans back to show him sitting cross-legged upon a crate propped against the mansion. He cracks his neck once, twice, three times, four times, five times; too bad he didn’t break it!! He shuts his eyes. He opens his eyes then shuts them again. He winks. He goes cross-eyed and the shot sits on him for a moment, as he dreams the same old wacko dreams of salmon-flavoured miniatures.

He wakes up when he falls from the crate and forward he walks. Ever forward. Then he realizes the ring is the other way and does the hokey-pokey and turns himself around. After exchanging nods with nearly everyone on the roster, Alias FINALLY made his way to the ring from the other side of the house. And the battle began!

Que será, será.

This was, of course, no sight for sore eyes. It was not for the weak @heart. No sir! No ma’am! The King and Alias nearly and almost brought the house down! They fought with all of their mights! They put their lives at stake! With steel, fire, and brimstone a great show became a greater show and Corey Smith stopped at nothing to clutter the King’s path to victory. The distraction. The extra. The thorn that was always innocently and anti-heroically stabbing and jabbing and poking and prying at the King’s side.

DOCK stops talking and takes a long drag from a lit piece of horse rope. He’s lying across both arms of the Chair of Mastermind, which sits next to a blazing fireplace who’s flame seems very enchanted by the scorched storyteller’s tale. Glancing across the room to Mastermind and Maria who are bound in chairs with their mouths taped shut, DOCK begins rising from the chair like a plume of smoke and floats across the room to his hosts.

We’ve been here before. This is the home of the Masterminds, Maria and, XWF Kiwi, Mastermind. The Mansion of Mastermind, they call it. They were in the study which is on the second floor, above the first, where Doctor D’Ville took a liking to all of those years ago. The King recently took residence here for a short time, as well. He kept Maria locked away there, while Mastermind hung out in the basement. When the King left the spell on the house and on Mastermind lightened up enough for Maria to escape the study and rescue Mastermind in the dungeon basement. But that’s another story.

After a couple weeks of what felt like peace, the Masterminds believed their lives were normal again. They, along with the entire world, watched as the King burnt to ashes in the ring at May Day. Call them optimistic, but they had the impression Doc was gone for good. Little did they know, their nightmare was far from over. DOCK found his way back and, without a trick up his sleeve, forcefully took back the home a few hours before dawn.

Maria sobbed and Mastermind sat weak, broken, and bruised in their respective chairs. She watched and sniffled through the several layers of duct tape around her mouth and under her nose as DOCK slowly creeped across the room to her. She shut her eyes tightly and trembled as she felt his cold breath on her neck. Peering out through one eye she can see a centipede crawl out of one of his nostrils, scurry around his face, then slip into the gaping eye-socket and disappear.

The poor King was outnumbered from the start. From the chants - “Eat the King” - sung by the masses as Alias passed by. To the respectful nods received from nearly every XWF competitor on that same journey. From the snickers and laughter, the jokes and obvious bias by the commentating team…. To the two-on-one that took place inside the ring. This was no championship match. This wasn't the main event that everyone was promised. This was a damn revolution!

A coup D'Ville!!!!!

DOCK shouts into Maria's ear which makes her shudder and sob even harder. Next to her, Mastermind begins to come back around and starts to stir. DOCK reaches over and grabs her chin with his charred, broken gauntlet and holds it tight between his forefinger and thumb.

And then what happened, DOCK?!

DOCK does his best ventriloquist and throws his echoing, booming, yet a softer version of his voice to Maria and she speaks through the tape. In a poof he is now behind and holding Mastermind by the face with the same hand. DOCK cranks the bound man’s head over to look at Maria and with a much darker tone this time he throws his voice again.

Silence, Maria! Do not be rude! Let DOCK speak!!!!

DOCK poofs back in front of the two of them and leans down with a crooked, broken frown-smile.

Yes. YES! The climax to this epic tale has YET to come!

After being foiled over and over again by Corey Smith and his negligence, ignorance, and just plain malevolence, the King found himself in dire straits! His life was draining and the light that shined oh so bright within him was fading…. Nearing his end the King struggled until he could struggle no more and succumbed to the darkness around him.

Now this is where it gets good. ARE YOU LISTENING?!

Maria and Mastermind stare blankly through their gags and bruises. DOCK waits for an answer as if they could easily provide one.

I’ll take that as a “YES!” Anywho…

When the King’s hand fell for the third and final time the celebration began! Fireworks exploded high above Ye Ole Commune! The masses carried the hero away in victory, while the King laid slain on the battlefield!

The King was dead.

The light within him that burned so brightly was extinguished. They say the candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long… The beating heart that thumped like a bass drum and kept the rhythm of this place bumped no more. His body burned, it turned to ash, and blew away leaving no trace.

Maria is very weak, but manages to mumble through the tape.

I’m sorry? Can’t hear you, darling.

DOCK uses his gauntlet hand and pulls the bundle of tape down around her chin.

Then… How… H--How are you… Here?

I’m glad you axed, Maria! A couple of weeks in the void really made me think! After MUCH contemplation I decided it was finally time that I show my face in a Leap of Faith match. I’ve never taken the chance to be part of one before as I’ve had higher obligations, so, why not seize this opportunity? It’s obvious that the time I’ve spent with certain company the past six to eight months has changed a certain image about me. The way I went about things was a little unorthodox, I suppose, even for me. Check it out.

DOCK snaps his gauntlet fingers three times and a door immediately opens. A mummified looking figure hobbles into the room pushing a cart with an ancient looking film projector on top. It moves in paused motions like a glitchy video and cries from under all of the bandages. It is revealed elsewhere that this is actually one of the housekeepers, but that is told in another tale. The walking burn victim wheels the cart out to the middle of the room and takes its leave.

What do you want?! LET US G-G-----

DOCK shoves the wad of duct tape back into Maria’s mouth gagging her.

Save all questions for the end, please.

DOCK approaches the projector and attaches a reel of film to it. He then reaches down and pulls a cord and tries starting the projector like a motor.

RAAAAAHH!! TAH! TAH! TAH!

RAAAAAHHH!!! TAH! TAH!

Start you bitch!

RAAAAAH!!! TAH TAH TAH TAHTATATATATATATATATATATATATAATATATATATA……

The projector spits out a plume of dark smoke and begins chugging along loudly. DOCK flips a switch to the light and Thaddeus Duke appears on the far wall. Images of him wearing both the XWF Universal Championship belt and one of the Tag Team Title belts around his waist flash in black and white. Some footage was taken backstage, some out on the stage during an entrance, others of him just Thadding around.

We all know dearest Duke, don’t we? Look at how giddy he is. He’s trying to hide it, but always SUCKED at hiding it. Especially when Corey was around.

The film takes us back to the High Stakes Battle Royal where Doc returned to the ring after being eliminated. He grabbed hold of Thad’s leg and prevented his elimination thus making him the victor and NEW Universal Champion. Celebrations with Corey and Thad play over and over in different settings and situations.

Y’know I never even got a thank-you? For anything. The second the pompous little prick left High Stakes, he was making an extra belt for his BFF. Before the greatest night of Duke’s life, Corey DID confess his undying love and adoration to him and went as far to say he would sacrifice himself before winning the title ahead of him. What a human being, right? What a doll! However, it wasn't Corey who pulled Duke from the hole he was buried in. It wasn't Corey that defeated Cataclysm. It wasn't Corey that helped make this boyhood dream come true.

The film switches to Thad handing Corey his very own Tag Team Championship belt. There’s no sign of Doc, but there is an ominous shadow that doesn’t belong to anyone on the screen looming in the background. Corey cordially accepts.

So, there I was… Trapped between two raging hormones… Doing my very best to keep their eyes on the prize. Trying my hardest to keep them focused! This was no easy task! Especially after the Universal Title was gone. With the Uni went the fire I lit under Duke’s ass and with that left any chance of Conundruum succeeding in the future. We certainly were a lethal combo, but it was obvious there were a few screws loose. This trike ran with a wobble. Instead of working on some maintenance, Duke decided after losing his title that he had something to prove and wanted to defend the Tags at every possible opportunity. Of course, they only had one successful defense, but the whole ‘fighting champion’ thing that apparently earns you some kind of respect among your peers was so important and worked so well when we was Uni champ that he brought it over here. I mean, I think that’s how you make stale bread, but okay. Corey was all for it, of course. In their eyes, the other could do no wrong. It was I that was the sour apple in the bunch. The talk was that Corey and the doctor would stand no chance against real competition. The two would not be able to work together and succeed in a match against more established teams. The hatred and distrust that Corey had for me would surely be our downfall! It was proven at Snow Job, the same night that Duke fell to Chris Page, that skill overcomes feelings and neither of us were phoning anything in.

The film showed Doc pinning Marf at Snow Job, then switched to Thad and Corey walking through backstage side-by-side with Doc following far behind them. A few blanks run through and then the moving pictures show Dolly, Duke, and Corey all backstage posing for a photograph which is bombed by the Doc.

See, I think that Corey Smith and I have a lot more in common than he would probably like to admit. At first, I didn’t really give two spits about the Tag Team Titles. I believe I walked into a situation at just the right time and played spoiled sport to a couple of overrated assholes looking for their treasures in numbers. The entire backstory that Corey made up about me and Duke revolved around all of these ulterior motives I had. Some underhanded bullshit that will bring harm to his precious Duke. Never once, even after the horse lay dead on the track, have I ever brought harm his way. Corey can’t argue and must admit that he and I always tried to bring the best out of Duke. That’s all that I was ever trying to do. Some of my methods may don’t seem as healthy as others, but they’re effective. I could turn the tables and say a lot of that same shit back about Corey. He strolled in at the right time, played backseat driver for a bit, and had no shame in squeezing into a spot that I’ve already pissed all over. I mean, I did the same thing with the Kings back in the day. But I NEEDED partners, otherwise, I would’ve had to give up the titles. And let’s be honest, Theo and the Johns are about as DOCK-gone crooked and crazy as they come. Taking some free titles just to troll the XWF for a bit is their MO. I didn’t think free rides like this was Corey’s style. Anywho.

The film has now moved onto Conundruum’s title defense against the team of Jim Jimson and Charlie Nickles.

I know, I know. The way I was talking earlier made it sound like Duke and Corey were out there every Savage defending the titles. Well, that’s not how it went at all. Corey justified his third of the championship when I pinned Marf, apparently, and cemented his reign by leaping up and pulling them off the cables in a ladder match against Jimson and Nickles. It wasn’t long after this that everything changed forever.

After Corey and Thad hug in the ring after their victory over DDS the film switches to Thad getting Bobby-Bombed and pinned at March Madness. Them No Good Bastards turned around after an unsuccessful attempt at Snow Job and got the job done against the former Universal Champion. The clip changes once again to Doc winning March Madness and becoming King of the XWF. Images of the King flash on the screen. His throne. His army. The Bust of Atara. Then the projector begins to smoke and clunk around until it bursts into flames. DOCK kicks the thing and knocks the cart it came in on on its side and starts kicking it. Maria sobs and stares with a blank look on her face. Mastermind has appeared to be out cold the entire time. The door swings open again and the mummified housekeeper hobbles in. It walks over to the cart and picks it up. Then it grabs the flaming film projector and sets it on the cart and wheels it out of the room. DOCK sighs and takes a seat on a table next to his two hosts.

We’ll have to do without the visuals now. I hope you’re okay with that.

Neither of them attempt to say anything.

The two of them seemed to take losing the titles pretty lightly. Playing it off as though they have bigger plans down the road. It’s been two months and I haven’t seen a damn thing from either of them. Duke’s taking his failures in stride and Corey is right there with him patting him on the back. Meanwhile, the blacksheep of the group. The guy that nobody likes. Well, Duke kinda likes him, kinda doesn’t. The guy who wins. Won. King Doc was crowned and the greatest team in the world at the start of that evening didn’t have a word to say about it. For weeks, he fought his way up the mountain and defeated every challenge that opposed him. The King showed up at every show to be a visible, respectful, elegant representative of the award he won.

All that was asked was a little respect in return.

What’s that? Who was it, you ask, that came out each event and paid their respects? Well, the enemy of my enemy, I guess! The Brotherhood of Baddies! Led out by new Universal Champion Chris Page and including the new Tag Team Champions Them No Good Bastards. Gold attracts gold, I suppose. Duke and Corey found nothing of benefit in taking a knee and respecting a long time friend’s accomplishment so they chose to ignore the whole thing. I didn’t even get a card in the mail from them.

DOCK hops off the table and walks away with his hand and gauntlet behind his back. He faces the fire and sighs before turning and slowly moving back towards his hosts.

I don’t want you all to think that I’m angry or jealous about any of this. The talk of Corey taking part of my glory. The fact that he was nothing more than a distraction to Duke the entire time. If he wasn’t involved, Duke would’ve stayed focused on what was important and not worry about the damn well-being of this pile of damaged goods. I’m not saying all of this because I’m upset about it. It is what it is. If Duke doesn’t want to succeed and would rather hold hands with someone on the way to the ring then so be it. Back uh duh line then, right? Oh, wait, not right now though. The reason I’m bringing this up is because it's obvious now that I was the one being played the entire time.

Duke allowed the Doc to put his neck out on the line when he rescued him from Cataclysm. Corey was already awake from his nap nap and wandering around so I’m sure those gears were already turning. The match was made for High Stakes and it’s all history now.

Am I the damn bad guy in this situation, Maria?

No response.

Sigh. I suppose it depends on perspective, huh? When you think of all the selfies and the sleep overs and all the heart emojies and kissy faces, yeah, I suppose I do. But when you look at it from my perspective, you see a completely different story. I will make the story right this time. Don't send a boy to do a man's work, right Corey? Would you have lost to Chris Page when we were at our highest RPM's and make us all look like idiots? I don't know, really. Did you want to be the guy then or was Duke getting involved your way to save a little bit a face and get closer to him? Because we tried with Duke. We tried making him the best ever, but it just seemed like he didn't want to be. Maybe the pressure was too much or maybe something stupid like he wanted something better for Corey... Or for Alias... Or for Dolly... "Better take myself out of harms way before I'm in harms way". In the long run, I think Corey Smith is going to do more damage to this guy than I could have ever done with all of the doors and windows I walked through within Duke's scrambled egg little mind.

So, I suppose I should get to the meat and potatoes, huh? Leap of Faith is coming up, Mastermind. I know it’s your favorite event and I just wanted to tell you that I entered it this year in honor of you. We all know you’ve been down and out lately and I thought I would do something different this year. Hello? HELLO?

DOCK snaps his fingers a few times in front of Mastermind’s face. He looks extremely groggy and barely there. Maria mumbles something through the tape and DOCK snaps a look over to her. He grips the gag of duct tape and rips it completely off her face. She moans and squeals at the painful tug then settles back in her chair. She clears her sinuses and focuses on DOCK.

What. The fuck. DO YOU WANT?!

SIGH. I really thought he would like hearing that. Hm. Oh well.

DOCK changes his position to in front of Maria.

Wellllllll…. Leap of Faith is on the moon this year.

And?

And I need a spaceship!

Maria stares at DOCK with a blank look.

We don’t have a spaceship.

Mastermind doesn’t have a space program?

*SOB* NO! *SOB*

Hm.

DOCK walks away from his hosts and ponders to himself in the corner by the fire.

Is THAT why you’re here?! A fucking spaceship?!

Unless you know of any other means of getting to the moon.

Maria screams with rage and bounces around on her chair. Mastermind stirs a bit, but is still very weak and can barely hold up his head.

I do appreciate the fine hospitality, folks. Unfortunately, though, I must go. I was really counting on Mastermind having a space program.

DOCK steps forward and jumps into the fireplace and turns to ash.

---

---

---

---

Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon, the team of Them No Good Bastards and the XWF Tag Team Champions, stand along the side of the road next to an unmarked box truck with its hood open and smoke pouring out from inside.

You sold me a lemon you Goddamn piece of shit! You wait until I get my fucking hands on you! I’m gonna fucking kill you!

TK is talking with someone on his cellphone while Bobby is on the other side of the truck. TK walks around the back and finds Bobby placing the last screw into a barbeque grill. TK has said goodbye and ended his call at this point.

Where did you find that?

In the back. Brand new in the box!

You built that thing fucking fast!

Remember, I am a scientist.

Bobby points to his temple with two fingers. He opens the grill and heads to the cab of the truck where he pulls out a cooler, some lighter fluid, and some charcoal.

So, what’s the plan?

Well, I’ve got a couple of pork loins and some hillbilly bacon. I suppose if wrap the bacon around the pork loin and cook at a low temp for about---

*HONK* *HONK*

Bobby is nearly hit by a passing car that speeds past them.

Woah. That came outta nowhere. Should we try to get a ride?

We should probably get off the road more. But yeah, the fucker that sold us this thing is denying responsibility.

Jerk.

I fucking know it. He won’t even send a tow!

Think it has anything to do with being three states away?

Fuck if I know.

Bobby has dumped the charcoal into the grill and started laying the lighter fluid to it. He squirts about a quarter of the bottle on the pile and takes a step back. With a single match, he tosses a flame to the coals, and

WHOOOOOOF!!!!

A fire that goes higher than the truck bursts into the air and out from it flies DOCK! Like a cat he lands on his feet in a pile of soot and ash and stands up beside the champs.

Uh, DOCK?

DOCK smiles and looks over to the grill and back to the Bastards.

Pulling over for a snack?

Yep!

We broke down, actually.

DOCK peers up to the front of the truck and sees the black stack of smoke rising from the engine.

Shame! Shame! I do hate setbacks, myself! Speaking of which, I’m kind of experiencing one myself.

Oh, yeah?

Bobby is wrapping the tenderloins with bacon and placing them over the fire.. Far more focused on that than the conversation.

Indeed! Perhaps we could help each other in a manner of speaking.

I’m always down for a good business deal, Dock. You know this.

Indeed, indeed! See, I need a way to get to the moon!

Well, yeah, I think we all do.

Bobby Bourbon!

Bobby licks his fingers after placing all of the loins ever so perfectly across the grill. He turns and faces the ghostly, grotesquely ghastly figure in front of him.

What’s up, Dock?

I need you to build me a rocket to fly me to the moon!

Like, right now?

DOCK shrugs and nods.

Elon Musk is a member of BOB. I’m sure he’ll donate a rocket to your cause.

Hmm.. He DOES owe me a favor… I would hate to spoil it on a rocket though….

Hey Dock, remember back in War Games, I believe it was 2017, when Gilly dick punched you out of the match and to the moon?

A light goes off above Dock’s head. Literally. TK notices it and tries to touch it before he’s startled when Dock excitedly starts talking.

That’s it!

What’s it?

Peter Gilmour is the answer!

Uhhh. Gilly is fucking banished, Dock.

What do you mean he’s banished?

You know he’s banished.

Yes, but where IS he?

Banishment Island.

How do I get there?

Aside from getting fucking banished?? Uhh…

There must be a way!

Oh there's a way!

Bobby says with a chuckle as he toys with his meats on the grill with his bare hands.

Goddamn right there is. I have in my possession the pirate ship of Unknown Soldier.

DOCK throws up as if it was on que with Unknown Soldier’s name. The green bile sizzles on the pavement and TK turns away as the sight almost makes him lose his own lunch.

And what good would that do me?

It’s the only other way to reach Banishment Island and Gilly. It’s currently being used as a ride at BOB Flags.

Ya’ll have your own amusement park?

Fucking right! Oswald spares no fucking expense when it comes to what he believes in!

HA!

TK pulls out a crinkled up postcard of BOB Flags from his back pocket and hands it over to DOCK.

Waco, Texas, aye?

Yep. Go there and you’ll find the ship… But there’s one thing, DOCK…

What’s that?

In order for the ship to work, you’re gonna need Unknown Soldier.

DOCK pukes on the pavement again.

Goddamn are you alright?!

I’m fine! Unknown Soldier is dead. How the hell am I supposed to get him to run the ship?

You got me, DOCK.

It seems I have another conundruum on my hands. I suppose locating the ship is my number one priority. Perhaps I could find a way to operate it without the presence of that heathen devil shit.

Bobby takes one of the pork loins and deepthroats it like a boa constrictor and swallows it whole.

So, you plan on walking, DOCK? I can fix damn near anything, but this truck looks like it's driven its last mile. Any chance you could give us a jump?

DOCK looks over the front of the vehicle.

Lemme see what I can do!

DOCK leans over and starts digging inside. The sound of clanging parts and grinding and sawing can be heard from behind the hood where Bobby and TK cannot see. They look to one another and just as they get curious enough to approach DOCK slams down the hood and brushes off his hands.

Try turning it over.

Fuck! For real?

TK hops in the driver’s seat and the second he turns it over

*BOOOOOOOM*

Like a bomb going off the front of the truck explodes in a ball of fire. TK jumps out of the cab and takes several rolls onto the road.

What the fuck, DOCK?!

Sorey! I’m a doctor not a mechanic!

The three of them look on as the truck whoofs up a couple of more times and burns alongside the road.

---

---

---

Miles down the road the three walk side-by-side after leaving the burning box truck and all of its contents behind them. Bobby Bourbon and DOCK are sharing stories about the before time, before TK was around and, of course, long before Them No Good Bastards were a thing.

You literally found the belts in the Goddamn trash?

Yep.

He did.

How the fuck did they end up there?

Couple of cunts had them and, well, didn’t have them anymore.

Sounds about right.

So, Bobby had the titles. That’s when you, DOCK, and…. You’re not gonna puke are you?

No, I think it’s outta my system now.

That’s when you and Soldier won the belts?

Correct.

Who beat you for ‘em, DOCK?

No one, actually. After Soldier was killed while trying to make love to a speeding train, the fellow Kings joined me. After a healthy reign with them, we gave them up. Jim Caedus and Chris Chaos were the lucky ones to end up with them next.

And now they’re both back and in Leap of Faith.

Yes! Isn’t that something? It is funny to watch Lane and Theo get bugs up their asses every couple of years and have the need to prove something to each other. It's an odd looking power trip, for sure. Theo brings back Chris Chaos… Throws a corporate tag on him… And resells him for twice what he’s worth. Really Theo? Chaos?

Hopefully we can all joke now when we look back and see what were my major concerns back in High Stakes with Chris Chaos waiting around the corner for a title shot. How my own goal was to keep this cretin from the ultimate prize. Seems silly now doesn't it? Especially with it being someone else's mission this go around. Don’t get me wrong gentlemen. I am as humble as they come. Chris Chaos does have one in the first column against ol’ DOCK… But that was a long, long time ago. I’ve evolved. Even from my very best day I’ve come a long way since then. I’ve won some big ones. I’ve lost some big ones. He, on the other hand, has not. He carried that huge victory over me and took it straight to the bank where yes, Chris Chaos reigned as our supreme overlord for a bit. But he screwed it up. Theo can rebrand it a thousand times, but we all know it's the same old Chris Chaos. Think about this… He brought back a guy that Duke was running around telling everyone HE ran out of town. Ugh. I mean, kudos for ruining the kid’s self-accolade, but UGH. What does Theo think is going to happen? There’s so much Chris Chaos kryptonite in this match that I just can’t fathom what the actual fuck Theo is up to. Maybe it’s a set up? Maybe Chaos decided to make his return and Theo wants to snuff him out once and for all? I mean, THAT sounds more like the Theo Pryce that I know….

Speaking of set ups, you guys should be more familiar with this one. Didn’t old Jimmy Caedus make his return on your little BOB show?

TK and Bobby look at each other.

BOB Uprising.

That’s the one! Man, oh man. Like I said before, I don’t know what game Lane and Theo are playing here… But it’s gonna be a ton of fun to watch play out. So we all see Jimmy come back… and then what happens? He becomes a secret weapon for Lane? Come on! Lane is playing him SO hard! He doesn’t see it and it’s hilarious. Doesn’t he remember how things were before? You literally can’t trust anyone around here. Look at my situation? Who would’ve guessed two months ago that I would be walking down a highway with Them No Good Bastards? Where’s Duke and Corey?! What Jimmy has to realize is that he’s being played as a pawn in a much larger chess game. Forget all that crap with Apex and Archyle and Main… Forget it. It's crap. I’ll get to it in a minute.

Lane doesn’t care if he wins or loses this match. All he cares about, and I guess all that Jimmy’s mission is, is to not let Theo win. I wonder if Jim’s aware of that. He doesn’t know these two guys like I do and if you think I’m the evil guy with ulterior motives and tricks up my sleeve… These two corporate wussies will literally do anything they can to win. So, I hope Jimmy has fun being a sacrifice. I’m walking into this thing with a mission, too, and it’s to ensure nine people don’t win. Not just one.

Now, I wasn’t lying on Warfare when I thought Jimmy Caedus had passed on. That was the one going through the rumor mill at the time. I heard he fell asleep on a beach when the tide came in and it swept him out to sea. I also heard he lost his shit in a restaurant in Mexico in a simple case of mistake in identity and killed someone. They went through the whole legal process in just a couple of hours and it was so blatant that they instantly put him to death via firing squad. I also heard that while panhandling outside a Walgreens when he was shivved by a fellow panhandler and died from complications and a little medical negligence. All in all. After all these years I kinda forgot about him. Even though, to this day, he’s still talked about as some kind of legend that walked the halls. Well, shit.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. Jimmy has his fair share of accolades… Achievements… All the bells and whistles that spell out a great XWF superstar. But legendary? Man, this is just like talking about Robert Main! I guess I just don’t see it. But HE would be the guy that would go digging around the garbage for someone like Jimmy. He’s short on friends at the moment it seems and low and behold… Two---- NO…. Three guys come back from the grave in a short amount of time to battle Chris Page and the mob behind him known as BOB.

So, if Jimmy wasn’t dead, where was he? Living the high life in XWF’s Lost n’ Found dumpster? You know Main had to be desperate at this point. I wonder who else he’s going to be pulling out in his old back of trix to bring to the party. I guess we’re bound to find out, aren’t we?

The thing with Jimmy, if I can be honest here, is that we’ve never actually faced off head-to-head. Is there a reason behind that aside from poor scheduling? Nah. Jimmy wasn’t avoiding me, but he wasn’t stepping out of line around me either. He always seemed to either stay off my radar or stayed nice and nestled under my thumb. Both were probably the safest possible places for him. Jimmy’s a tough carrot, but really lacks that big scary threatening intimidation factor that really gets my rocks crackling when I sense a challenge. He’s an above-average Peter Gilmour. He really is. Now, this is back when Gilly actually met something to the place… Long before anyone significant came around and long, long before I poked MY head through the doors. Hell, due to circumstances, maybe we could call Caedus the new ”Gilly”.

Sick burn, DOCK.

Hardly. I think it is sad to think such a thing. But it’s the only impression I can get from him. Long winded, rambling, talentless, scruffy, scrub. You know? Maybe I’ll catch a break and not have to deal with him OR Chaos during this whole thing. Everyone is looking at me or Corey walking away from this thing with the case. We’re seasoned. We’re ready. We’re out for blood. And we’ve proven that we can do what it takes, put differences aside, for a greater goal. Once again, he and I may not have the SAME goal, but like I said, he and I are more alike than what’s out on the cuff. While Jimmy Caedus carries out his mission to prevent Theo from “winning”... I don’t think anyone “wins” when Chris Chaos “wins”, but okay…… And Chaos’s bodyguard Sealed Refrigerator is occupied keeping Caedus from Chaos… A few of us others can probably get down to the real business. Who else is going to get their nights ruined?

RL Edgar, Rel Dixon, Thrax….

DOCK stops and looks confused over to Bobby Bourbon and TK.

I don’t have a clue who any of those people are. Is that a bad thing?

Bobby and TK look at each other and shrug.

RL Edgar? He just got a Universal TItle shot.

DOCK stares back blankly.

Did he win?

He did not.

Well what the fuck good is he? Trying to make up for it by getting the sneaky briefcase? Puh-leaze, Louise. Ya’ll remember I stomped a hole in Chris Page back in November, right? Who else?

Demos.

Will it count as four times beating him if I win Leap of Faith?

I don’t see why it wouldn’t.

Noted. Is that everyone?

BOB’s own, Money Oswald!

Huh. So, Corey Smith, Jim Caedus, Corporate Chaos, and Demos.

Uhhh…

Oh, alright. For all of the rest of these folks that happened to catch Lane and Theo on a good day and get selected in this MASSIVE ten-person match…. Congratulations. For someone like Rel Dixon, this is going to probably be their one and only chance to share a ring with about half of the names listed on this match. Even with Demos in there to protect her little hiny, it won’t and never will be enough to overcome the ungodly odds she’s facing in a match like this. I noticed Thrax coming out with you guys’ buddies the Descents, is that right?

The Disinfectants, but yes, you’re right.

What do these people do? Cycle in and out low talent talent through a couple of months, rinse, and repeat? It’s hard to take them seriously anymore anyway, especially when they keep this shit going. Did no one tell this guy? Did he not get the memo that picking your nose with your left hand around here gets you into trouble? Is that even still a thing? Or did Alias eat them all? Blah!

On paper this all looks great. An epic match for an epic prize. Also, if you know what you’re looking at, you can narrow it down to exactly what’s going to happen. If you do your homework, it’s easy. Everyone knows that the Conundruum buddies will be fighting hard in this one. This one has been a long time coming and I can’t wait to get my hands on some Corey Smith. Corporate Chaos, as much as I hate to admit and a lot of because he has a muscle freak following him around, may also see some good action in this. I won’t hesitate to knock his block off and I’ll take down his giant along the way if I must. Jimmy Caedus is going by memories from about four years ago. I am not the same as I was then. Anything Jim’s retained from all of that time ago, he may as well throw in the garbage now and start taking new notes. I’m out for blood this time, my foes. And blood I will get.

Oswald is looking forward to the match, DOCK.

BAH! Okay, Jimmy, there’s another one. Fear the Oswald. I tell you what, the way he stood scared in the ring on Anarchy when I destroyed that mammoth man, Thias Watts, he was fighting said enough. He holds a disdain for me that I will never understand. I used him for exactly what he wanted to be used for; a monster and a weapon. Suddenly, I’m the bad guy. I’m not sure if he wanted his Higher Power at the time to just reward him hand over fist with gifts he didn’t deserve? I do believe that’s what it kind of came down to isn’t it? Kudos to all of you for putting up with his nonsense, BOB. I could never do such a thing again. I am almost thankful he never kneeled to the King, he would’ve most likely demanded immediate ownership of some property or a shot at the Xtreme Championship! While the King’s power had no bounds, the King was an unbiased King, therefore, hand-outs weren’t exactly his thing! But now he’s dead. So, Oswald can show up and try his little heart out, sir. The fact of the matter is, he is another delusional one that thinks he stands a remote chance in walking away in this with the contract.

As the three of them walk and talk, well, listen to DOCK talk, the wind starts to pick up. In the distance they can hear an engine and, before they know it, above the trees appears a helicopter circling above their heads.

Speak of the Devil!

Who?

That’s one of Ozzy’s helicopters! He’s tracked us down!

The pilot brings the helicopter down slow and steady and lands it on the highway. There’s no sign of Oswald, just the pilot.

Could you use a ride to Waco, DOCK?

I suppose it couldn’t hurt. Time isn’t exactly growing on trees here and I have to get my ass to the moon if I plan on winning this thing. You sure Oswald would be okay with the favor? He doesn’t seem too keen on helping me out these days.

What he don’t know won’t hurt him. Let’s go.

DOCK laughs and takes a bow before hopping into the flying machine with the two No Good Bastards. The helicopter lifts off and flies into the horizon towards Texas where DOCK will continue his search for means of getting to the Leap of Faith even on the moon.

Is Thunder Knuckle telling the truth? Is he sending DOCK on some wild goose chase to distract him and maybe increase another BOB member’s chances at winning? Or does he REALLY have possession of Unknown Soldier’s pirate ship and does it REALLY go to Banishment Island where Gilly is being held? A lot of questions that needs answers and we’ll surely find them all out in the next episode:

“DOCK- Punched!”