Thias Watts
- vs -
Big Money Oswald Body Slam Challenge!
Which behemoth will be able to slam the other???
Referee: Ari Silverstein
CONTRACT SIGNING BREAK!
RUBY AND MISS FURY SIGN THEIR CONTRACT FOR LEAP OF FAITH!
Demos
- vs -
Lycana FLAMING Tables Match!
Winner puts their opponents through a table... that's ON FIRE!
Referee: John X
The show starts with “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane standing outside of the arena, behind a protective barricade. He stands with a pyrotechnic professional.
Pyro Pro: “You’re sure about this?”
Vinnie Lane: “100% dude. Let it rip.”
The tech nods, and then hits a switch.
Vinnie Lane: “Ha. Take that Fury.”
We then move from the pretaped outdoor opener to LIVE inside the building as EVEN MORE INSANE PYRO is going off like crazy! People are firing off bottle rockets at each other, and every seat in the arena has a flame pot on its head rest! ALL OF THEM! Somehow they all go off without injuring anyone, and everyone has a great time!
Vinnie Lane: “Ladies and germs, this is the final broadcast from the XWF before our intergalactic forway into the dark abyss of space - Leap of Faith FROM THE MOON. Our main event is going to be ridiculous as Lycana and Demos square off in a frickin’ flaming tables match, and we’ll also be signing the contract for the Leap of Faith Anarchy Championship match right here TONIGHT with Ruby and Miss Fury live in the ring together! But before all that… if we could cut the music and the pyro for just a sec…”
The sounds die down and a single spotlight rolls down onto Vinnie like a glowing tongue licking him from the rafters.
Vinnie Lane: “Perfect. Thank you. Now… I’m sure all of you saw the bWo show. I’m also sure you saw this past week’s Savage, and last night’s Warfare. You are all up to speed on the stuff going on in this year’s Leap of Faith Briefcase Match… and man, there’s a LOT going on. Not only are there a ton of talented names like Corey Smith and Demos and Doc D’Ville going head to head in the ZERO G Leap Match… but there’s also apparently a hostile takeover being attempted by my business partner Theo Pryce. Now, I don’t know what wild hair grew up Theo’s butt recently that made him think we were in some need of a tone deaf rebranding. It’s probably the same genius marketing mind that caused Pryce Industries to go under. But look, I get it, Theo’s a sucker for a handsome man in a slick suit. He always has been. It’s the only reason he ever took John Madison’s calls. But… Chris Chaos? Dude… you can give an idiot a haircut and a white collar job, but that doesn’t make him a champion. That doesn’t turn him into the face of a company that’s looking toward the future. We’ve got the stars of the future already. Corey. Alias. Demos. Lycana. Ruby. RL Edgar. Thad Duke. So on and so forth… and if you want to look to the past, we’ve got the best of that too. Talking about Universal Champion Chris Page, Centurion, James Raven… yeah dude, we still text. So why would you land on mediocrity when you’re trying to rebrand? You’re taking a dump on the XWF worse than the LA Chargers’ logo. It’s worse than that monstrosity of a Pelican that dances around the court at halftime down in NOLA. Chris Chaos is a marketing FLOP… and Theo Pryce not only entered him into Leap of Faith as his hand picked winner, but he tried to ENSURE that win by also entering a bodyguard for Chaos, Sil Frigida!”
Vinnie takes a sip of the water on his desk, then folds his hands into a steeple at his chin, leaning forward on his elbows.
Vinnie Lane: “That’s why I did what I had to do. A lot of people look at a guy like Jim Caedus, the Wildman, and they see exactly that… someone too crazy to trust. Someone too unpredictable, too volatile, too downright uncontrollable for any sort of rescue mission. They see a guy who’s more risk than reward. But dude, let me tell you… REAL chaos? REAL chaos is about to take place at Leap of Faith. Not slicked back, Brooks Brothers Chris Chaos. I’m talking about Jim “sleep outside and stab a hobo on a train” Caedus, the man who shook my hand, looked me in the eye, and promised one thing: to guarantee that Theo Pryce doesn’t win. Because make no mistake… Chris Chaos or Sil Frigida? They can’t win. Either one of them comes down with the 24/7 Briefcase out there in the Sea of Tranquility, the only winner is Pryce. Everyone else in the XWF loses. But Caedus? Caedus throws that million dollar investment of Theo’s and throws it off a bridge. He monkeys up the whole works and we get a shocker of a winner. Imagine a talent like D’Ville with a briefcase. Imagine an unknown like Rel Dixon. Or… heck, imagine if Oswald takes it? That’s what happens with Jim Caedus in there.Or… or… maybe the Wildman himself takes the victory. Then EVERYTHING goes insane. The one man this company has been TERRIFIED of ever allowing to raise gold above his head again, handed the keys to the castle in the form of a guaranteed contract inside a steel case? You want chaos? I gave it to you. Not Theo Pryce. Theo invests in safe little penny stocks like an old lady. I’m taking the Universal Championship scene to the craps table and betting it all on one roll. Tune into Leap of Faith… you’re not gonna wanna miss it.”
Vinnie smiles as the lights begin to come back up to show level. He nods as the AnarchoTron flickers to life in the background.
Vinnie Lane: “Enough with all that! Let’s get to the ring!”
Thrax
- vs -
Lord Raab X-Treme Rules!
Referee: MARTY
Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his green and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Green Disease German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and green mask and ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and crouches down in the corner moving backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while waiting for his opponent with anger in his eyes while waiting for the match to start.
The lights slowly dim to black as Thrax’s theme music plays over the loudspeaker. The crowd murmurs to itself in the darkness as Thrax’s music continue to play over the speakers. An awkward amount of time goes on as Thrax’s music begins to repeat it’s loop.
Vinnie: Uh….is the dude coming? Did anyone let him know I booked him for tonight?
Suddenly, Thrax’s music is cut and the lights are flashed back on. The lights turn back on and we see Thrax standing directly behind Lord Raab with a large meat hook swinging from a steel chain!
Vinnie: Look behind you Raab!
Lord Raab turns around just in time to be stabbed in the gut with the meat hook! Thrax follows his stabbing up with a headbutt to the forehead that sends Lord Raab sliding off of the meat hook. The referee rings for the bell but the carnage is already well under way!
Vinnie Lane: "JESUS! I know it’s X-treme rules but still! Have some honor, dude!"
Lord Raab wobbles to the other side of the ring while holding his bloody gut with his hands. Lord Raab leans against the ropes for support while Thrax starts walking towards him slowly, swinging the bloody hook around with the steel chain it’s attached to. Thrax lifts the hook over his head and starts twirling it like a lasso before he sends the hook flying at Lord Raab on the other side of the ring! Lord Raab looks up at the hook and barrel rolls out of the way just in time! Lord Raab rolls into the turnbuckle before standing up and trying to get his bearings.
Vinnie Lane: "What a save by Lord Raab!"
Thrax wastes no time reeling his meat hook back. It takes a few seconds, but while Lord Raab is recuperating in the turnbuckle Thrax is pulling the meat hook back to him with the chain. Lord Raab keeps pressure on the gaping wound along his waist while the green disease german machine carefully watches Thrax’s every movement. When Thrax pulls the meat hook back to his position Thrax is quick to toss it up a few feet behind himself before flinging it over at Lord Raab as hard as he could!
Vinnie Lane: "Oh no! Look out!"
Lord Raab grins as he rolls out of the corner with perfect timing. The meat hook slams against an empty turnbuckle while Thrax rolls into a sprint and charges straight at Thrax with a HUGE SPEAR!
IT CONNECTS! Thrax is folded in half like a lawn chair!
Lord Raab immediately reaches for the steel chain and begins wrapping it around Thrax’s neck! Thrax reaches for the chain and tries to pull it off his neck, but that only infuriates Raab and causes him to pull back on the chain with his full might!
Vinnie Lane: "Thrax might have to tap out here! The dude’s choking him out WITH HIS OWN CHAIN! That’s bad news!"
Lord Raab’s face scrunches up as he puts a knee into Thrax’s shoulder blades and pulls back on the steel chain as hard as he can. Thrax is desperately clawing and scratching at his neck as the referee asks him if he wants to tap out. MARTY the referee gets really close to Thrax’s face as he asks him once more if he wants to tap out. Thrax reaches up, grabs MARTY by the collar, and forces him into Lord Raab! Lord Raab breaks the hold as MARTY flies into his face!
Vinnie: Quick thinking by the newcomer! Use the referee as a weapon! It’s perfectly legal in an X-treme rules match….in fact, that kind of creativity is encouraged here on Thursday Nights!
Lord Raab pushes MARTY off of him and climbs up to his feet, but Thrax was faster! Thrax kicks Raab in the gut, forcing the Green Disease German Monster to keel over in pain. Blood spills out of the hook wound on Raab’s gut before Thrax spikes his opponent’s head onto the mat with a monster DDT! Thrax pushes Lord Raab over and grabs his leg as MARTY pulls himself up off the mat and tries to get the count started as early as he can!
1!
2!!
Kickout!
Lord Raab throws Thrax off of him before the referee with the late start can get to the three count. Thrax and Raab both climb to their feet once more, and once again Thrax is a split second faster!
Vinnie Lane: "Lord Raab is a big guy, but he can be slow moving at times! That might cost him in a match as close as this!"
Just as Lord Raab climbs to his feet he is met with a right hook to the jaw that sends him reeling against the ropes. Thrax leans over as he expects Lord Raab to come running back to him, but the savvy green veteran stops on a dime as soon as he’s in front of Thrax! Lord Raab, instead of running into the hunched over Thrax, merely punts the man in the face!
Vinnie Lane: "ROOKIE MISTAKE! Let’s see if Lord Raab can take advantage!"
Thrax stands up and takes a few steps back, clutching his nose with each and every step.Thrax continues stepping back and grabbing his nose as Lord Raab charges the other way before bouncing off the ropes and coming back at Thrax! Lord Raab charges at the backpedaling Thrax before leaping into the air and hitting a Lou Thesz Press! Raab immediately follows the move up with a flurry of fists to his now downed opponent’s face! After a dozen or so punches to the face Lord Raab takes a break to admire his handiwork.
Vinnie Lane: "Lord Raab definitely took advantage!"
Lord Raab looks down at the unresponsive Thrax with a smile before shifting his position atop the man and pressing both his hands on Thrax’s chest for a pin.
1!
2!!
Kickout!
Lord Raab yells at the referee before slamming the mat in frustration. Raab slides off of Thrax before picking the man up by his suit. Lord Raab stands Thrax to his feet before smirking and quickly grappling him into a suplex position! Thrax, still woozy, is lifted ninety degrees by Lord Raab! Blood oozes out of Raab’s waistline wound as he holds Thrax high in the air. Lord Raab holds the suplex for a good long while, demonstrating his strength to the crowd, his opponent, and the men backstage as he walked around the ring while holding Thrax high up in the air for nearly half a minute before bringing the man to the mat with a thunderous slam!
Vinnie Lane: "He’s going to feel that one in the morning!"
Instead of letting go of the hold, Lord Raab merely shifts his waist and steps back to his feet while lifting Thrax in place for another suplex! Lord Raab doesn’t hold this one for nearly as long, and pretty soon Thrax is laying right back on the mat after another slame!
Vinnie Lane: "He’s going to feel that one too!"
Lord Raab rolls over onto Thrax for the cover.
1!
2!!
Kickout!
Lord Raab slams the mat in increasing frustration before turning to the MARTY and screaming at him.
Vinnie Lane: "Lord Raab wants to know what it’s going to take to put this guy down for three! But arguing with the referee never got anyone anywhere!"
Lord Raab continues arguing with the referee. MARTY is backing up and away from Lord Raab as the angry wrestler demands that MARTY learn to count faster.
The crowd gasps as Thrax sits upright. Another second goes by before Thrax swings his legs out to his side and climbs up to his feet. Thrax turns his head from side to side with his hands. An audible cracking of his neck is heard throughout the arena. Lord Raab turns around to see Thrax standing tall in the center of the ring. Lord Raab narrows his eyebrows as he shoots a wrathful glare at Thrax. The crowd is going absolutely crazy as the two fighters stare daggers at each other from beneath their masked personas.
Vinnie Lane: "THIS IS WHAT THURSDAY NIGHTS ARE ABOUT, BABY!"
Thrax and Lord Raab charge headfirst at each other as MARTY looks on with grave concern! Lord Raab dips his head forward mid stride expecting a head-on collision, but out of nowhere Thrax jumps into the air and brings his right knee flying into Lord Raab’s jaw! The cracking of bone echoes throughout the arena as Raab collapses the ground, holding his bleeding jaw!
Vinnie Lane: "OUCH!"
Raab clutches his jaw in his right hand as blood pours out of his stomach and his mouth. Thrax looks down at Raab. Thrax reaches down and grabs Raab’s mask with his left hand. Thrax pulls Raab to his feet before bringing him back to the mat skull first with a reverse DDT! Lord Raab looks out of it as Thrax calmly hooks a leg and leans against Raab’s stomach with his back.
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Thrax
Vinnie Lane: "Now that’s one heck of a debut!"
MARTY goes to raise Thrax’s hand (or bump against his shoulder anyway) but the man in the suit recoils. The crowd is cheering as Lord Raab lay injured inside of the ring. Thrax starts walking towards the ropes as his theme music plays. Thrax ducks underneath the top rope and slides his left leg over the middle rope when, suddenly, he stops. Thrax turns his head and looks back at Lord Raab on the other side of the ring. Thrax’s gaze slowly shifts to the meat hook laying in the corner. Thrax returns his left leg to the ring and steps away from the ropes.
Vinnie Lane: "I think he was about to forget his meat hook. You don’t want to forget that, buddy!"
Thrax leans down and grabs the steel chain connected to the meat hook. Thrax pulls the meat hook towards himself with the chain. Thrax holds the piece of chain just above the meat hook in his right hand as he walks over to Lord Raab. Thrax places a boot on Lord Raab’s gut before stepping over the man. Raab winces in pain as the full pressure of Thrax’s body is placed upon his bleeding wound.
Vinnie Lane: "Hey dude, you already won!"
Thrax looks at Vinnie Lane with scorn before picking Lord Raab up with his left hand and throwing him into the corner turnbuckle back first. Lord Raab's arms go wide against the top rope as the injured man tries to steady himself against the turnbuckle. Thrax swings the meat hook over his head like a lasso while he stares at Vinnie Lane. The meat hook sinks into Lord Raab's shoulder as the man hollers out in pain. Vinnie Lane winces from the announce table as Thrax smirks at him. Thrax walks over to Lord Raab and begins wrapping the steel chain around the turnbuckle post. Thrax ties a knot with the steel chain around the post before taking a step back and looking at the meat hook buried in Raab's shoulder. Thrax puts his left hand on the meat hook before forcing it into the shoulder just a little bit deeper. Thrax smiles as Raab yells in pain. Blood begins to run down Raab's chest and stomach before pooling around his feet.
Vinnie Lane: "Remind me to never eat at the Dissentients butcher shop..."
Thrax swiftly moves his left hand from the meat hook to Raab's throat. Thrax lifts Raab out of the turnbuckle before throwing him over the top rope and out of the ring! Raab starts flying to the ground until the chain tightens and causes the hook to sink in deeper to Raab's shoulder!
Vinnie Lane : "This is grotesque!"
Thrax smiles with satisfaction as Lord Raab hangs off of the turnbuckle post from a meat hook. Lord Raab flings his legs wildly out into the air until he is able to get his feet onto the ringside apron. Lord Raab stands awkwardly on the ringside apron as he tries to gently pull the meat hook out of his shoulder without much luck.
Vinnie Lane: "He's going to need help getting off of that thing!"
Thrax bounces off the ropes and charges at Lord Raab! Thrax spears Raab through the ropes and sends the Green Disease German Machine flying off of the meat hook and into the barricade! The crowd boos with great disdain as a bloody trail follows from Raab's flight! Thrax steps away from the ropes before throwing his head back in laughter and stepping out of the ring. Thrax walks back up the entrance ramp as a team of paramedics come running down to check on Lord Raab.
Vinnie Lane: "Thrax wanted to make a big statement before Leap of Faith, and I think he may have done just that and then some!"
Thrax makes his way up the ramp, and he turns once more to the ring as he basks in the glory of his victory. He turns back around...
WACK!
Thrax gets met with a golf club shot to the head! Thrax falls onto the rampway, and standing over him with a smirk on his face is Centurion.
Vinnie Lane: “Centurion extracting some revenge from Savage!”
Officials from the back run up and grab Centurion and escort him away as Thrax slowly gets back to his feet.
Thias Watts
- vs -
Big Money Oswald Body Slam Challenge!
Which behemoth will be able to slam the other???
Referee: Ari Silverstein
Vinnie Lane: “It’s time for two forces of nature to step into the ring together! I doubt these two men could come close to either defeating the other in a standard match… so we simplified it to just being able to slam their opponent one time!”
Thias ducks his head under the base of the AnarchoTron and steps out onto the ramp. Shirtless and wearing only black jeans and black boots, Thias scans the crowd mean-mugging everyone. He ignores the boos from the crowd and walks to the ring, reaching the top rope from the floor and pulling himself up onto the apron before stepping over the top rope.
Vinnie Lane: “I have been very impressed by this man since he arrived on Anarchy several weeks back. I’m not sure where Ned Kaye found this monster - but if he continues on the path he’s been on, who can stop him?”
His music hits, soon the ramp opens up and slowly Oswald begins to rise. His ornate cane planted in the platform, dressed to the nines like always. The crowd starting to chant "MAY-HEM, B. O. B.! MAY-HEM, B. O. B.! MAY-HEM, B. O. B.! MAY-HEM, B. O. B.! " Once he was equal to the stage, he flung open his arms to form a t, letting out a loud roar, before grinning as he steps forward, making his way as he slowly unbuttons his suit jacket, his tie, his dress shirt, and unbuttoning the Billion Dollar Championship belt, handing it, his clothes, and the cane, to one of his servants as it appears as he takes his stance to get ready to face off against his opponent.
Vinnie Lane: “Big Money, the Billion Dollar Monster, debuted a new aspect of his existence last Anarchy that left Demos and the rest of the XWF shuddering… now we just have to see if that translates into being able to body slam an equally gigantic opponent!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
Ari Silverstein calls for the bell and gives Oswald a wink, showing the BOB secret hand signal.
Ozzy and Watts walk to the center of the ring and stare each other down, face to face. Neither man is intimidated by the other, but they are definitely both more cautious than they have been against smaller foes.
The two behemoths lock up, but after a few seconds of pushing and grunting they break apart, frustrated, with neither man able to gain an advantage or move the other.
Vinnie Lane: “Like two tectonic plates pushing against each other, it’s going to take something SEISMIC for either of these men to leave their feet!”
Big Money roars and sends a forearm shot into the huge chest of Thias Watts, but it barely backs the big bodyguard up an inch. Watts returns with a forearm of his own to equal effect. Both men seem perplexed on how to proceed, and they nod to each other before hitting the ropes criss cross style.
Vinnie Lane: “Uh oh… two guys THIS big getting this kind of momentum going? This is going to be like asteroids colliding in deep space!”
Watts and Oswals eventually slam into each other with high velocity shoulder tackle attempts after bouncing off the ropes a few times. The impact is huge, but the two combatants merely stumble backward a few steps until they are each leaning against the ring ropes. They shake their heads to clear the cobwebs and then start circling each other once more.
Almost simultaneously, the pair of giants lurch toward each other each with the same idea - a big boot! They boot each other in the face, sending them both staggering backward once again! Neither man leaves his feet, however, and soon they just collide together and start slamming big meathook fists into each other!
Vinnie Lane: “Things are breaking down and frustration is setting in… these two men are NOT used to people still standing in front of them after they land a big blow!”
Oswald grabs Watts in a GOOZLE, and Thias is choking for a second before he sends a kick into Ozzy’s gut and then chops the choke hold off of his throat. Then HE slaps a choke onto Oswald!
Thais walks Oswald backward until he’s leaning on the ropes, pushing him arched over the top rope… but then Oswald sends a wicked back elbow into the jaw of Watts that stuns him and sends him stumbling away, holding his mouth.
Oswald hurries up to Watts as Watts turns around, and Ozzy grabs him under the legs, looking to lift him into a slam!
OSWALD CAN’T GET HIM UP!
Vinnie Lane: “Ozzy got blocked there, Watts managed to only get one leg lifted off the ground before he dropped a big double ax on Big Money’s back!”
Watts hits a second double ax, which gets Oswald to stand up grabbing at his back. Watts then bends down to lift Oswald for a slam!
Vinnie Lane: “Now it’s Ozzy putting on the brakes! Money’s got Thias in a front face lock guillotine, and he’s choking the life out of him!”
Thias slumps for half a second, but then he bull rushes Oswald into a corner! Thais Watts then sends a series of high impact shoulder blows into Ozzy’s midsection Oswald is doubled over, and Watts heads across the ring to get some momentum… he runs and leaps in a splash, but Ozzy sidesteps! Watts hits nothing but turnbuckle!
Big Money grabs the back of Watts’ head and smashes it into the top turnbuckle again and again, with Watts going a little weak in the knees after a dozen or so shots to the pad. Oswald then turns Watts around and whips him across to the opposite corner, where Watts hits with a loud bang against the buckles.
This time it’s Ozzy who runs in like a freight train and lands a massive running clothesline that lifts Watts off of his feet for a split second.
Vinnie Lane: “That’s like getting hit by a Volkswagen! Watts didn’t even go down!”
Watts stumbles out of the corner, dazed and trying to shake the spinning stars away. Big Money sees his opening and steps up onto the second rope in the corner, waiting for Watts to turn around…
Watts charges him and leaps with a dragon punch right to Oswald’s face! Oswald’s eyes roll back in his head and Watts grabs him… he has him up!
Vinnie Lane: “Watts has Oswald up for a body slam and he’s walking to the center of the ring! This is all over!!”
As Watts takes a step to slam down Oswald DOCK appears directly in front of him.
Vinnie Lane: “Yo! Doc!! There’s a match going on du---”
PLUUUUUUUFFFFFEE!!!!!!!!!
DOCK blows a blasting inferno straight into Thias Watts’s face and even singed off some of Oswald’s back hair! Watts drops Oswald back to his feet and covers his face!
Vinnie Lane: “Dude, no way. I’m calling it. Ring the bell!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
Winner by Disqualification - Thias Watts
Watts rubs his face and blinks his eyes but he never sees DOCK lunge at him! DOCK climbs him like a monkey and rests on one of the big man’s shoulders and grabs hold of him with his burnt, broken gauntlet! DOCK squeezes and squeals as Watts begins to tremble and falls to his knees and then the ground. He looks up at Oswald who looks on at the whole thing with an agnostic look about him.
Vinnie Lane: “Do something Ghost Tank!”
But Oswald simply stares, not minding what’s happening.
DOCK continues to squeeze the giant head of Thias Watts until it’s ready to crack, slams it a few times into the mat, then let's go. He rises up and stands over Watts like a hunter would its prey. His voice booms and echoes without an amplifier and with nothing more than a whisper.
Tell your boss he’s going to need to see a DOCK.
DOCK takes his foot and stomps it on Watt’s chest and snarls at Money Oswald as DOCK walks away and simply crumbles away into ash.
CONTRACT SIGNING BREAK!
RUBY AND MISS FURY SIGN THEIR CONTRACT FOR LEAP OF FAITH!
We return from the commercial break with Vinnie Lane standing in the ring! He’s standing next to a classic contract signing set-up. One table in the middle, a chair on either sign, and a clipboard with a pen in the middle.
Vinnie Lane: “Okay dudes, it’s time for the moment that you’ve all been waiting for! The contract signing between our challenger who totally earned this opportunity with her victory last Anarchy, Miss Fury and our Anarchy Champion, the one and only blur that is Banana and Lime, Ruby!”
The champ’s entrance theme starts to play, and the crowd goes adequately wild, as they do during contract signings that have this kind of hype. She emerges from the back wearing her usual suit, but also a rather strange looking harness, one that climbers use when they scale cliffs. Nevertheless, it doesn’t seem to hamper her movement, as she strolls down the ramp holding a bag of goodies, handing them out to younger fans. Superhirts, masks, a carton of Ruby-Ohs and even the Centrubion Funko Pop figures. As she finally arrives at the ring she jumps on the apron and hops over the top rope with the athleticism of a cat, and VInnie holds out a hopeful hand, looking for a fist bump.
Ruby hesitates for a second, clearly not having forgotten about VInnie reversing the legitimate Centrubion victory over Fury and Osira. But she’s nothing if not forgiving, and returns the gesture. A ringside worker hands her a microphone and she thanks him with a chocolate bar she kept in her utility belt (in case she needs an energy boost).
Ruby: “There ya go, my guy. Don’t eat it all at once and incorporate it into a healthy, balanced diet with plenty of vegetables and sports candy like apples! GO HEALTHY DIET!”
The crowd cheers and Ruby holds a thumb up. She then directs her attention towards Vinnie.
Ruby: “Well then, Mister ‘Firmly-On-The-Naughty-List’ Lane, I do hope you’re not intent on flippin’ me over twice in a row? But no worries, I’ve taken precautions against the B.O.B.’s dastardly shenanigans. Let’s get on with it. ♪♫ Oh Miss FUuuuryyy, come out come out, wherever you arrrre!♪♫”
As the opening riff of “Supervillain” plays over the loudspeakers, the crowd erupts into a surprisingly mixed reaction! Fury steps from behind the curtain all smiles as Herschel Kiss takes up the rear. Fury stands atop the stage soaking in the reaction, both good and bad. Her attention then turns to the ring. With an evil smirk she points to Ruby and mouths; “They cheer for me hero”!
Behind her mask, Ruby rolls her hazel eyes.
Fury stomps down the ramp with a smug expression. Herschel grabs the top rope for leverage and pulls himself up onto the apron as Fury opts for the steps. As Fury walks the apron, Herschel sits on the middle rope allowing Fury to enter first.
Fury leans across the table and mouths off Ruby before turning her back to her and playing to the crowd as Herschel, arms crossed, keeps a mean eye on Rubes. Fury's music is cut and Lane tries to install order on Anarchy (hashtag) to the proceedings.
Vinnie Lane: "Ladies, if we can."
Fury turns around with a smile and walks up to her side of the table as Ruby stares daggers at her.
Vinnie Lane: "Now, as we've all agreed, last week Miss Fury and Osira actually won due to Ruby not ACTUALLY being the legal man, and the SUPER OBSCURE rule that states that any match that includes a ref bump, and illegal mishap, AND a controversial pin will be contested under opposite day rules!"
Ruby glares at Lane and shakes her head disapprovingly. Lane shrugs and tries to apologize.
Vinnie Lane: "Sorry! It's out of my hands!"
Miss Fury snatches the microphone out of Lane's hand to a polarizing reaction from the crowd!
Miss Fury: "Spare these people the boring parts Vincent! The ONLY thing that matters is that _I_ once again bested the hero, and like always, she was helpless to do anything about it! Just like she will be helpless to do anything about it on Sunday, May 30th when the "Little Hero That Could.. ENT!" once again finds herself in a situation that she is ill prepared for!"
Fury leans across the table trying to lure Ruby into striking her.
Miss Fury: "You've NEVER pinned me! You've never submitted me! You, Ruby, have never beaten ME! A product of the falsehoods that you feed the masses in an effort to sell them on a realty that doesn't exist! You've played your role in creating your greatest nemesis, and to this day YOU have not managed to conquer that demon!"
Ruby: “Well, FIRST OF ALL, Miss Fury, as my ACTUAL greatest nemesis would say, if you’re so tough and invincible, then where’s the gold to back it all up? Your smokescreen may have your bobbies fooled, but I’ve got heat vision and your own flame isn’t burning all that brightly. Now, I’ll give you your props. You’ve built an empire, of sorts. One that reaches far and wide, and encompasses all of the XWF. And the threat you and yours pose? It’s very real. But despots always fall, and empires always crumble to the ground. You wanna know WHY I’ve given you so much leeway? Because I don’t HAVE to be the hero that destroys the B.O.B. You threw a bunch of vipers into a pit and your strategy is to push your enemies in as well. But those vipers will turn on each other before long, because it’s in their nature. And let’s face it, Fury, no matter how much you prop yourself up as the invincible leader of your group, the truth is that you’re no better than them, no better than half the people on Anarchy, and you don’t deserve to hold the Anarchy title. Not even close. So you wanna fight me for it? Go ahead. Get your pens out and sign the flippin’ papers so we can get this over with.”
Miss Fury scoffs!
Miss Fury: "Well finally! We have the answer to your inaction!"
Fury turns to the crowd.
Miss Fury: "Hear that people! Straight out of the heroes mouth!"
She turns back and glares at Ruby.
Miss Fury: "Ignoring me WON'T make me go away, and BOB isn't a problem that'll sort itself! Some message though! REAL HEROIC~! And you're right, I DO want to fight you! And I DO want that Anarchy gold back. Gold that I only lost due to the same tactics that left Centrubion so angry and confused last week!"
Fury smugly leans back across the table, just daring Ruby to break character and slug her one.
Miss Fury: "But since then, I've taken measures to ensure that something like THAT doesn't happen to me again... Can you say the same?"
The two glare at one another for a moment of silence before Fury interrupts.
Miss Fury: "By the way, I've just decided that our match will be a lumberjack match!"
Fury's eyes dart to Vinnie with a slight turn of her head.
Miss Fury: "Right Vincent?"
Vinnie Lane: "I uh... I mean, the contract clearly states Fury's Rules, so I guess that works?"
Fury's eyes dart back to Ruby.
Miss Fury: "Damn right it does! But it doesn't sound very fair does it?"
Vinnie Lane: "Actually no, it do.."
Fury springs off the table with a burst of energy as she interrupts Lane.
Miss Fury: "My thoughts EXACTLY! So since I'm such a dull light and totally no threat to the hero who's only fallen at my feet TIME and AGAIN, let's adjust the handicap to ensure these GREAT fans get their money's worth!"
Fury marches up to Lane, pressing her chest against his as she looks up to him in what SHOULD be a hilarious attempt at physical intimidation, however...
Miss Fury: "All lumberjacks MUST be a member of BOB or the bWo roster! No exceptions!"
Lane hesitates, but Fury produces that very same VHS tape from last Anarchy, ”RIGHT!?!” and he quickly caves!
Vinnie Lane: "Sorry Rubes, but you did kinda boast a little. Fair's fair! All Lumberjacks will be bWo or BOB!"
Ruby: “Well, flip me and my big mouth then, I guess eh? But you know what? You’re on, Missy. I don’t fear you guys. And you’re just proving my point over and over again. You can’t beat me without your peoples running roughshod over common decency, sportsmanship and ethical behavior. Otherwise, why would you be so desperate to put me at this kind of a disadvantage? When Thanos saw that his lackeys couldn’t get the job done, he said ‘Fine, I’ll do it myself’. WHen you couldn’t get the job done, you’re saying ‘I’ll let someone else handle it for me.’ In technical terms, you are the opposite of the best villain the MCU has ever produced. And you’re standing up there like you’re worthy of my full time when there’s a bunch of old folks that need to be helped across the street, and homeless people who need food and shelter? I focus on improving this world, Fury, and SORRY if your shenanigans pale compared to things that make this world a better place for all, one that we can all happily live in. But if you wanna take the fight to me, the Champ that you’ve been unable to dethrone in spite of all of your boasting, then let’s do it. Order to Anarchy!”
Ruby picks up a pen, but not before eyeballing the VHS tape that Fury is holding in her hands. Her eyes dart back and forth between the tape and Vinnie, and she smirks.
Ruby: “SO as I said before, and as God said to King Arthur during his quest for the Holy Grail… Get on with it!”
Fury glares at Ruby as her nostrils flare. She's steaming.
Miss Fury: "This act of yours, and your devotion to it is SO IRRITATING!"
Fury snatches the contract out of Ruby’s hand and signs it before shoving it and the pen back across the table to Ruby.
Miss Fury: "Sign the damned contract and let's find out how deep that devotion runs!"
She says as she slams her free fist to the table.
Ruby: “Gladly! Oh hey, bossman?”
She looks over at Vinnie who raises an eyebrow.
Ruby: “Do I sign with my full name, Ruby Aaricia Debuchy, or will a scribble do?”
Vinnie kinda just shrugs, and Ruby nods.
Ruby: “Right. I forget you aren’t very fluid in legalese at times, despite being, you know, the owner. Anyhoooo~”
Ruby takes the pen, and carefully reads the contract from top to bottom, taking her sweet time. Fury is one tick away from stomping her feet like an angry child not getting what she wants, but Ruby holds up a finger.
Ruby: “Patience, Fury! Don’t tell me you’re one of those rascals who just signs any flippin’ thing without reading the document in its entirety! For all I know, there’s something in here in smallprint about me selling the soul of my firstborn to some guy named Richard that Vinnie once lost a game of Scrabble to.”
Taking half a minute more, Ruby finally nods, satisfied, and puts pen to paper, signing on the dotted line.
Ruby: “There you go, Fury-Oh! And don’t you dare turn that into a cereal, one copycat is enough.”
Before the ink can dry, an "evil" smirk falls across Miss Fury's face. She raises the microphone to her lips.
Miss Fury: "THANK YOU! FINALLY! Now, Rubes, since you're already here..."
Fury turns to face the crowd.
Miss Fury: "AND WE ALL KNOW XWF COULD USE THE BOOST TO MATCH bWo BUY RATES!"
She turns back to Ruby.
Miss Fury: "How about we give the people a little preview of the beatdown in store for you at Leap of Faith!? ... GET HER!"
Suddenly Key members of BOB, Thunder Knuckles, Robbie Bourbon, CCP appear on top of the stage, but more shocking is all of the bWo guys jumping the rails and surrounding the ring!
As Fury barks out orders to the incoming troops, she carelessly waves the VHS tape around.
Ruby gets into a defensive stance, ready to take on everything the B.O.B. is about to throw at her. But as a veritable multitude descends down upon her, another HERO will not let this slide!
Vinnie Lane: "WHOA, dude! It’s TERRY BORDEN!"
Here to save the day AGAIN, Terry emerges from backstage, pointing fingers at all members of the B.O.B. like last time, when Ruby got mercilessly beat up and he valiantly became the one true savior of everything ever. He storms out, and… Fury snaps her fingers, and all of B.O.B. turn towards Terry, completely overwhelming him and tossing him to the ground like a rag doll. The entire faction starts pummeling him until he’s left a broken mess on the ramp, unable to move.
Vinnie Lane: "Well, I guess he kind of could’ve seen that coming... "
Fury laughs, and with another snap of her fingers, the entirety of B.O.B. once again turns to Ruby, who didn’t know why Terry was poking his nose in business that didn’t concern him in the first place, but was even more preoccupied with how she was going to get out of there.
As they all inch closer and closer, Fury does a straight up point-and-laugh, except the hand she was pointing with was the one she held the tape in, meaning…
***YOINK!***
Ruby snatches the tape from Fury’s hands, who is too flabbergasted to immediately respond. The Super Dear’O whistles, and from the rafters a rope is thrown. She immediately anchors it to the harness she was wearing, and she is pulled up into the air.
Ruby: “COWABUNGA and toodles, motherflippers!”
Vinnie Lane: "Whoa, duuuuuuuuuude..."
His mouth agape, Vinnie looks up at Ruby who disappears into the overhead lights, not to be seen again. Meanwhile, a furious Fury is screaming at the top of her lungs, itching to claw out an eyeball or two in almost paralysing anger.
Vinnie Lane: "By the way, Fury... don't think I haven't been keeping track of all the different ways you've been trying to lean on me to get your way these past few months. I may not be able to do anything about you right now, and you might have the upper hand... but I"M still the boss around here and my signature is the one that makes things happen. And as a result of the unfairness Ruby has suffered due to you? The very NEXT episode of Anarchy, airing after Leap of Faith, will be run by temporary commissioners RUBY AND CENTURION!"
The crowd pops and Fury seethes.
Vinnie Lane: "And oh yeah! Since you have a valid and iron clad Anarchy contract - that means they can book YOU and your crew any way they see fit! Toodle-oo, Missy!"
Miss Fury: "YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE LANE! A BIG MISTAKE!"
Miss Fury then drops a red smoke pellet the way villains often do, and when the mist clears, Vinnie is in the ring alone, shrugging.
As the contract signing comes to an end, the camera cuts to the crowd, and zooms in on a familiar face…
Demos
- vs -
Lycana FLAMING Tables Match!
Winner puts their opponents through a table... that's ON FIRE!
Referee: John X
Vinnie Lane: "Okay ladies and gentlemen, we now officially have one last stop before Leap Of Faith, and that’s happening right now! Are you ready for a killer Main Event?!"
The music hits and Demos makes his way to the entrance ramp, flanked with his comrade, Rel Dixon. She has his old defunct Heavy Metal Weight Championship over her shoulder. Both of them are toting cans of gasoline. The crowd pops with a mixture of cheers and boos.
Vinnie Lane: "Here comes Demos and his trusted sidekick, Rel Dixon. Oddly enough, these two will be slated to face one another in the Leap Of Faith match, though I’m willing to bet that these two will be acting as an unofficial team in that contest."
The either side of the entrance ramp, and all the way around the ring is lined with standing tables. Demos and Rel start dousing the tables with gasoline as they make their way to the ring.
Vinnie Lane: "It looks like Demos isn’t here to dance. He’s getting a jump start on this flaming tables match. Good strategy."
Referee John X scowls at the duo as they continue to dumb gasoline on the tables surrounding the ring. Rel laughs wildly and sets flame to the tables, causing the entire line of table to ignite all the way up to the mouth of the entrance ramp. Demos rolls under the bottom rope and sits in the corner of the ring, rocking back and forth as Rel looks entirely too comfortable to be standing right next to the burning tables.
The lights fade to black.
Lycana's music hits as lime green and red pyros shoot off.
Vinnie Lane: "And here comes Demos’ opponent! The woman who will face-off for not only the Tag Team Championships at Leap Of Faith, but will challenge Mr. 24/7 himself, Alias for the X-Treme Championship on the same night. It’s Lycana!”
She steps out onto the stage and looks around the crowd with a condescending look before walking down the ramp, smiling as her face becomes illuminated by the glow of the burning wood.
Vinnie Lane: “A surreal, almost chilling image here as she walks through the flames on her way to do battle."
Demos watches Lycana still rocking back and forth. He begins to stand as she gets closer to the ring.
BUT WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL?!
Vinnie Lane: "It’s Alias!!!"
The Xtreme Champion leaps over the guardrail and through some flames, landing right in front of Lycana, cutting her off from the ring. Lycana snarls as the two engage in an intense standoff. The arena is going absolutely insane!
Vinnie Lane: "Alias must be through with waiting until Leap Of Faith! He has his eyes set on Lycana now!"
Alias punches Lycana in the nose, she returns a devastating punch to his lip, and both are busted open and bleeding! Alias snatches at Lycana’s face, dragging his hand down and raking her eyes before grabbing her throat with his left hand and choking her. He squeezes tight, gritting his bloodied teeth with a feral look in his eyes. Lycana tries swinging at Alias, but his reach puts too much distance between the two. The choke puts Lycana down on her knees as the fires rage around the heated rivals.
Vinnie Lane: "LOOK AT THIS!"
From behind! Demos levels Alias with a chair shot and rolls the Xtreme Champion up for the pin!
Vinnie Lane: "REFEREE JOHN X IS IN POSITION!"
1!
2!!
Vinnie Lane: "NEW CHAMP! DEMOS IS THE NEW CHAMP!"
Winner and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Lycana just barely makes the save! Breaking up the fall and keeping her hopes of toppling Alias at Leap Of Faith for the belt alive!
She shrieks out at Demos, and mounts him, beating him in his face over and over, blood pouring from her nose onto his face, as it becomes hard to tell who’s blood is whose. Demos twitches, as the scene becomes even more violent by the sight of his body going limp. Lycana continues to smash her palm into his face. She stands, licking the blood from her palm and jerks Demos up by the hair.
Vinnie Lane: "CURSE!!!"
Lycana mangles Demos through a burning table just outside of the ring with a brilliantly executed double wrist lock suplex!
Winner by Flaming Table - Lycana
Vinnie Lane: "This match is over! But the action looks to be just picking up!"
Alias from out of nowhere spears Lycana back down to the floor. The two begin rolling around, beating one another in the face. Alias gets a Left Hand free and goes to shove it in Lycana’s mouth…
BUT IT’S REL DIXON!
She boots Alias in the face, turns and gives Lycana a taste of the same boot!
Rel covers Alias!
But John X can’t even get into position! Lycana has lifted Rel up! She smacks Dixon across the face, and now Alias is up, he punches Rel in the side of the head. Lycana flips Rel onto her shoulders and with an assist from her bitter rival, Alias, the two drive Dixon through a burning table!
Vinnie Lane: "This is just getting insane, dude!"
Alias turns to Lycana, practically growling, her facial expression mirroring his! But it’s Alias! He grabs Lycana around the head and DDTs her through another table. Alias stands, more or less laughing at the pain he’s feeling, but as he turns around he eats a spear from Lycana who recovered all too quickly as the two topple through another burning table.
They’re both laughing like maniacs! They begin trading punches to the face again while standing to their feet.
Vinnie Lane: "OH CRAP! AT THE ANARCHOTRON!"
It’s Marf!
He’s enraged and hollering, trying desperately to make his way down to the action, but he’s being held back by at least six black-shirted officials. Marf pushes as hard as he can, and breaks through while Lycana and Alias, unaware, continue to wail on one another.
But before Marf can get any closer, a cavalry of security pours into the arena from the entrance ramp and the crowd. They pull Marf back, and struggle to break up Alias and Lycana.
Vinnie Lane: "Are you ready to see these two in action! The conclusion to their bitter rivalry?! Ten days, people!
It’ll be Alias!
It’ll be Lycana!
It’ll be at Leap Of Faith! Live from the friggin’ MOON!"
Anarchy fades away with a lingering shot of the flaming bits of broken table.
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
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