"I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me one on one before your scheduled autograph session. There are a few topics I'd like to discuss with you before we arrive for the signing."
The voice of Liz Weinberg sounds both professional and rushed as she realizes there's only a limited amount of time before this limousine arrives at its destination and hundreds of screaming fans call an end to this short on-the-road interview.
And there are a few topics I'd like to make sure get covered too so let's-
Suddenly, the third person in the back of the limo interrupts Sid-
Female Voice: I sure as hell wish we could have had some time to ourselves on the way to this damn signing, Sid. (motioning her hands toward Liz who is sitting adjacent to Sid and Flo who are next to each other) What the fuck is this?
Flo says with the wings of disgust carrying her words throughout the inside of the limo. Yes, ladies and gentlemen; Sid has decided to bring his lovely (short tempered, angry, firecracker) wife along with him on this joyous occasion.
Flo Feder She may be a bitch at times (ok, most of the time) but hot damn, would you just look at her?
Liz is certainly looking right at Flo and Liz does not seem amused by Flo's question of "what the fuck is this" in regards to Liz being present here today. As we all know, Liz is no pushover and has been known to put even the most seasoned roster members in their place.
Liz: Ehem, excuse me? What did you just say?
Liz has a sudden change in tone herself and you can see Sid look off to the side with his eyes starting to widen as if his eyes were screaming "wow, this is about to explode and I'm stuck right in the middle."
Liz: I'll have you know - Mrs. Feder - that this time was prearranged between your husband and our company, the X-treme Wrestling Federation, so that I could get some last minute comments regarding recent events and also addressing tonight's big match that your husband is a part of. I'm sorry if you thought this should have been alone time for you and your h-
A sudden snap that cuts through the air with authority.
Flo: Shut up. (instant silence; anticipation that can be cut with a knife) SHUT. UP. Don't you ever talk to me that way again or I'll bury my high heel into your eye socket and have you wearing a bag over your head like that fucked up freak you guys have on your roster. Remember that guy, Sid?
Flo looks to Sid as he still looks very 'put on the spot' and wishing he wasn't there. As much as this man loves some good old fashioned ruckus, he really doesn't need this right now before such a big day awaits him.
Yeah I remember; you're thinking of that mentally kid with the bag over his head - Mr. Satellite. (Sid turns to Liz to continue explaining) You see, this was back when I had those 24/7 titles and I had people stalking me even at home. Flo and I were minding our own business when that mental patient and his pet robot arrived on the scene announcing that they intend to rape us.
Sid can tell that this might be what calms the storm before it really gets ugly in the limo between Flo and Liz, so he continues to talk and hopes it will distract both Flo and Liz from wanting to hurt one another.
So naturally I had to beat the man down and send him on his way just like what I'm going to do to anyone who comes sticking their nose in my business.
Liz: Yes well that was some time ago and a lot has happened since then. I was wondering what you think about somebody else who recently got involved in some of your business - none other than Michael James - one of the men you'll be teaming with this evening in the main event when you take on Angelus and N.A.Z.I. of The Black Circle.
Rolling her eyes and shaking her head as she turns away; Flo lets out a very audible sigh, glaring through the window of the limo to watch the passing scenery. She's clearly frustrated that Sid is going to be getting interviewed when she had wanted to discuss something with him in private, but it seems as if she's going to give in and bite her tongue. Sid notices this and is secretly very relieved as he goes ahead and addresses Liz' question.
Michael James? He's the least of my worries and let's make it crystal clear just why that is -- The man is just as hell bent on destroying those Nazi pieces of shit as I am. There are two kinds of business in the wrestling industry; business that needs to be handled immediately and business that can be set aside. Michael and I have some personal business set aside that we're going to address whenever the chance presents itself but as far as the business that has to be handled immediately goes; he and I are on the same page.
Liz finds this intriguing as she goes on to expand on this theory.
Liz: So can the same be said about Sebastian Duke? I'm sure you can still remember - and feel - that massive double choke slam you and Michael James both received at the hands of Sebastian last week on Last Impact. Do you think of him in the same light?
Yes I actually think of his situation exactly the same; the man made a mistake by placing his hands on me and the day will come that it's addressed - mark my words - but today most likely will not be that day. Today I think it's safe to surmise that Sebastian Duke, much like Michael James and myself, wants to completely dismantle the scum of the XWF known as The Black Circle. We're going to stomp on them and wipe them off of our boots like we'd do if somebody left a flaming bag of shit on our doorstep; because that's exactly what this is.
Liz seems taken aback by the comment and finds the visual in her mind to be rather disgusting.
Liz: So that's really how you think of the men who have aligned themselves with the owner of this company?
Sid can't help but scoff- Owner? Shane is just a lucky man who has been in the right place at the right time; I don't respect or fear the man or his "powers" as owner. He's not even in full control anymore after the recent developments with the Administrator Network, so I'm not too worried about the man. Really I should be saying I'm not too worried about the hoe because I've got it on good authority that Shane has a big, wide, gaping pussy where his manhood is supposed to be tucked away.
Flo, who had been minding her own business and looking out the window, lets out a frustrated sigh and turns back to Sid.
Flo: Do you know how stupid you sound? I'm pretty sure that guy doesn't have a vagina down there, and let's also remember you're talking about the guy who signs your pay checks, right? I mean I'd be glad to see him fire you so I can have my husband back, but damn, at least don't sound so childish when you try to get under his skin. It's stupid, hun. Stupid.
The awkwardness in the limo just skyrocketed as Sid and Liz both remain completely silent. Flo stares point blank into Sid's eyes for a few more seconds before glancing over toward Liz who immediately breaks eye contact with Flo. That split-second reaction of Liz' just told Flo that, out of the two women in this limo, Flo is running this shit.
Flo: What's wrong Liz? Cat got your tongue? No smart ass remark for me when you realize I'm actually speaking realistically?
Sid has that look in his eyes again - that look where he's just staring at the camera and silently screaming "holy fuck; get me out of here" but there's nowhere for him to go. All he can do is pray that Liz doesn't give in to Flo's attempt to rile her up.
Liz: Listen- (considerable pause) Mrs. Bitch-
And it looks like Sid's prayer will go unanswered as he just clenches his jaw and closes his eyes in disbelief here.
Liz: I don't know what kind of women you're used to associating with, but honey, I will put you in your place if I need to. I've handled myself with actual wrestlers thinking they can bully me, so let me promise you - Flo Feder - I will shut you down if you push me.
Tensions skyrocket even further as Sid still has that look. He's trying so hard to "will" this situation back into a semi-peaceful environment but it seems that no amount of wishing will change things at this point. Flo is pissed. She leans forward and begins to scream into the face of Liz Weinberg.
Flo: Listen to me you bleach blonde whore bag from hell! I don't need to take this shit! I'm not on your piece of shit company's payroll and I most certainly don't approve of my husband being on that payroll either because I can't stand the wrestling industry or anyone in it, save for my Husband of course. It won't bother me one bit to stab you in your face! I'll do the time! I'LL DO THE TIME YOU FUCKING WHORE BAG!
That's when Sid can no longer sit back and just "wish" this scenario away because Flo lunges herself at Liz!
Sid jumps into action, grabbing hold of Flo and trying to pull her back into the seat next to him but now Liz is also attacking!
Liz grabs Flo's hair and begins yanking on it while Flo is actually throwing closed fists at Liz! Flo lands some hard shots; she's throwing bombs here but Liz has a solid hold of some of Flo's hair. Sid keeps trying to push them apart but now they're clinging to one another and ripping at each other's clothing!
Suddenly the driver of the limo lowers his divider so he can see what's going on in the back. His eyes get wide and he almost gets into an accident as he sees one of Liz Weinberg's breasts flop out of her top while Flo continues to rip at it. Sid's hand inadvertently touches Liz' breast as he's trying to keep the ladies separated and when Flo sees this she really loses it!
Flo: What the fuck are you doing, Sid? Did you just grab this fucking whore's sagging tit? YOU FUCK!
The limo driver swallows hard, not wanting to interrupt but alas it is his job-
Driver: I hate to interrupt but we're pulling into the lot, guys. We've arrived at our destination.
He receives a collective response...
Flo: Shut up!
Liz: Shut up!
Sid: Shut up!
The driver quickly rolls the divider back up so he can no longer see into the back of the limo as he pulls into the lot and we start to see lines of fans all waiting to catch a sneak peak at the arriving stars. Fans try to see into the limo but the tinted windows prevent them from gaining any insight as to who's inside. One thing they do notice; however, is the fact that this limo appears to be rocking gently back and forth as it slowly glides forward and finally comes to a stop.
Fans gather around the limo as it continues to shake and one of the fans yells out-
Fan: Somebody's getting their groove on in that limo! I bet it's Beautiful Reginold!
Some of the fans laugh as they continue to look intently at the rocking limo. Security takes note of the situation and appears to be taking some extra caution, motioning for people to back up as they approach the rocking limo.
Security: Back up guys; we don't know who's in the limo.
The fans keep trying to push forward as the rocking continues, and finally the back door of the limo flies open as if kicked open! Even without knowing who is inside, the fans let out a mild roar of excitement as that door pops open; they're anxious to see who is getting freaky in that limo!
The mild reaction turns into a manly roar that explodes as SOON as a female's leg is seen stepping out in a red high heel. It's Flo Feder! Her hair is completely disheveled and she has some blood smeared on her face and her rather expensive dress is ripped in various places. Flo doesn't seem to realize that one of the rips is exposing part of her thong, which these fans absolutely love!
Fan: Oh shit! Flo was banging Sid in the limo!
The rest of the fans roar their approval even more as Sid steps out of the limo, also looking very torn up from head to toe. He has scratches on his face and on his arms, fresh with red blood glistening through the deeper of the scratches. His shirt has also been ripped to shreds and is dangling from his body like strings.
The fans love it! Sid immediately turns to them all, starts motioning for them to quiet down, and says it's not what it looks like.
Just then, the next female's leg steps out!
What?!
Fans: Whoa!!!! Holy shit!
Liz Weinberg steps out in a fury; some blood on her face as well but nobody notices then when her left breast is still exposed.
Fans: YEEAAHH!!!
The crowd of people - mostly men - explodes in shock and approval!
Guys, GUYS! It's not what it looks like!
Liz tries to fix her top and re-cover her exposed breast - maybe she should have worn a bra today?
Flo realizes her thong is exposed so she tries to adjust herself as well.
Sid wipes some sweat from his brow and lets out a sigh as he stands between the two women.
Fans: Sid...Sid...Sid...Sid...Sid...
It's not like that! Stop! This wasn't some fucking orgy you sick bastards!
Fans: SID! SID! SID! SID! SID!
The cheering increases as more and more people arrive and join in, seeing the trio of Flo, Liz and Sid all try and "fix themselves up" after whatever just went down in that limo.
We're bleeding! What do you people think was just going on in there anyway? I'm telling you; it's not what it looks like!
Flo glares at Sid and Liz bites her bottom lip as she forces herself to remain under control.
Sid just stands there wishing to God he wasn't being cheered right now with his name echoing through the air. What a spot to be in!
Flo: These are your people? These are your fans? They think we just had a threesome with that fucking whore over there!
Fans: (collective burst) Yeeaahh!!
Flo screams, and then reaches back and smacks Sid so hard across his face that he stumbles back and bumps into Liz. The smack receives a massive pop from the crowd. Flo storms off and enters the building as security doesn't dare try to slow her down, but this leaves Sid and Liz face to face.
Now Liz smacks Sid across the face too! Another huge pop from the fans surrounding them as Liz then storms off and enters the building through a different door than Flo Feder did.
Sid is left standing there holding his cheek, bleeding from several places on his body where he was scratched, and wishing he hadn't rolled out of bed this morning. Somehow, some way, this is one of the loudest ovations he's ever received though. What a mind fuck of a morning.
Well at least I'm here and still in as close to one piece as I can hope to be. Who wants an autograph?
The crowd roars their approval and starts another "Sid" chant.
I'm telling you guys though; it wasn't what it looked like in there. I was trying to stop them from fighting and things got a little out of hand.
Fan: More like out of blouse!
Fans: (collective) Yeeaahh!!
The cheering continues and Sid just gives up trying to explain. He follows one of the security guards through the masses and into the building, same door his wife entered. Now that we're finally here on the scene of the autograph session, things will surely calm down and revert back to standard business - right?
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kid with the bag over his head - Mr. Satellite.
