Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies
Careful what you wish for
We're looking for angels in the darkest of skies
Saying that we wanted more
I feel like I'm falling, but I'm trying to fly
Where does all the good go?
We're looking for answers in the highest of highs
But will we ever, ever know?

****

****

Days had passed, perhaps even weeks; Betsy Granger didn’t know, nor was she allowed to keep track. Betsy, Ahsoka Tano, and Rex had made their way to the planet of Avilen, a large, lush world with the most breathtaking mountain in its galaxy. Ahsoka explained that Jedi had once come here for training before the locals had declared for the Separatists in the Clone Wars. It was a gorgeous world full of life of every variety; Betsy wanted badly to explore, but Ahsoka kept a strict schedule that did not include exploring. Every morning, as soon as the rosy pink sun started to peek through the mountains she’d be out and about for another long day's training. Ahsoka would have her up early for breakfast; leaving Betsy and Rex to talk over their meal, Ahsoka would disappear to meditate over the day's activities, joining them once she was finished. Though she kept it to herself, Betsy had enjoyed getting to know Rex; his stories of the Clone Wars and the Jedi he had fought beside had kept her riveted. In turn, she told him about Earth and her rather unusual set of circumstances. She was tickled by Rex’s fascination for her stories and the characters that played a part in them. On this particular occasion, she had been venting a bit about the XWF and explaining to him the aspects of professional wrestling.

“So... You get into the ring and just beat the hell out of one another?”

Betsy points a spoon in his direction, opening her mouth to object when the truth of his question hits home. It slips slightly between her fingers as her lips close into a thoughtful pout. “Well, if you want it put it crudely... Yes. We record promos, talking about our opponents and other people we may have problems with; it helps push us further into the spotlight.”

“It sounds like you just go on camera and complain until you get an opportunity to back up your words; where’s the sport in that?”


“Don’t think of it as an actual sport; you’ll hear it classified as sports entertainment. The brutality is only the fallout; the storytelling between rivals is what puts asses in seats.” Rex’s eyebrows narrow in confusion as he rubs his chin thoughtfully. Betsy pushes forward. “For example, I have a match coming up against a rather talented fellow named Corey Smith. He’s held in high regard and I’m eager to face him; however, there are outside forces that could come in and interfere with the matchup.” Her face scrunches as she ponders the most possible examples. “I myself have a few folks that are gunning for me; my former friend, for one. Atty and I were good one day; the next, she’s taking cheap shots and making a declaration for the championship I currently hold. That’s one shoulder I’m forced to look over constantly, then you have Lycana over the other, and she’s no picnic even though she’s been watching my back for some reason. It’s weird... and creepy... And I don’t know what to make of it...”

“Perhaps this is her way of stepping up to make amends. You know, lose one, gain one. Balance.” Rex waves his hands in the air. This brings a rueful smile to Betsy’s face.

“I appreciate your optimism Rex, but I think it’s a lot shadier than that. Perhaps you’re familiar with the expression, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. She’s up to something.”


“Or she’s up to nothing,” Rex replies stubbornly. His blind faith in humanity brings a genuine smile to her face now. “Just don’t let your guard down and tread lightly. You seem a smart enough lass, and obviously, you’re capable of taking care of yourself. Just don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.”


Though he hadn’t meant to, Rex hit on the one spot Betsy hadn’t wanted to address just yet. Ahsoka had kept her busy enough during the days to take her mind off the look on his face as Excellence materialized around him, but the nights were a completely different story. The betrayal in his eyes as his face contorted with surprise. Since then, Betsy had tried desperately to contact James, but Ahsoka had insisted that the time wasn’t right. As a result, Betsy spent all of her nights in anxiety-driven states of paranoia, wondering how James was feeling, what he was doing and whether he was still hers. He hadn’t contacted her either, Ahsoka had pointed out bluntly on a particular evening over dinner. During a lesson in meditation and reflection, Betsy had let it slip without words that she had equipped Excellence with a direct line to the Mini hologram she wore on her wrist at all times. Even though she didn’t approve of the potential distraction it posed, Ahsoka had reluctantly agreed to let her keep it. Out of habit, she looks down at it sadly as if it would prompt James to message her at will. Her mind flashed with wild images of the absolute worst scenarios it could come up with; shaking her head quickly, she slams her palm on the table and pushes the thoughts back. Rex watches her closely, accurately reading the sorrow in her face. “Still no word from the lad, eh?”


“I really crossed the line this time, Rex. I don’t blame him for not contacting me, I wouldn’t want to talk to me either.” Her voice trembled with emotion, but she keeps her tears at bay. “Ahsoka promised these lessons would make things with James better; so why do I feel like I’m the one who just signed the death certificate on this relationship?”


“You underestimate his feelings for you.” Ahsoka’s voice cuts through the conversation like a knife; Rex and Betsy both turn towards her. “He’s going to be angry and hurt now, of course, but he loves you more than you know. Once you explain how much bigger all this is, he’ll come around and the two of you will be stronger for it.”


Biting her tongue back from the curt reply threatening to burst from her, Betsy takes a long sip of milk before getting to her feet. She’s already in her soft linen training gear and lightweight boots; pulling her hair up into a messy bun, she follows Ahsoka outside. Rosy pink sunlight casts a bewitching shadow over the lush, fertile fields; the grass was the clearest shade of green Betsy had ever beheld and seemed to glow from within. A path made of smoothed-out stones led them to the base of the mountain where the physical side of her training started the day. Though she was an experienced rock mountain climber and parkour enthusiast, Betsy had never encountered a terrain or uphill slope quite like this one. The rocks become looser amongst the dirt and poked at the bottom of her feet as she went through the footwork techniques Ahsoka had instructed her to use to successfully navigate the first slope upward. Rex follows just behind her with the water pouches, rations, and training tools needed for the day. On Betsy’s back was a basic supply pack; around her waist was a holder for her blaster and a lightsaber borrowed from Ahsoka.


Her breathing is a little hitched, but still steady when they take their first break. Even though the path smoothed out to well-packed dirt and grass, the slope became dangerous for several reasons. The biggest challenge was how steep the climb became; one wrong step would set the hiker hurdling down to certain death. Sipping at her water pouch, Betsy ponders the climb, wondering what obstacles would threaten her life today. Yesterday, a group of angry birds had shrieked and dived at the three of them, mistakenly believing them to be hunting for their eggs. Her very first climb up, the trail had caved beneath her, causing her to lose her footing; if it hadn’t been for Ahsoka’s cat-like reflexes and strong relationship with the Force, Betsy would have been dead for certain. Even still, she could feel her heart begin to pump harder as adrenaline began to flood through her. The physical challenges were worth the climb to the top every single time; not only did the peak of the mountain provide a breathtaking view of the towns below, but it was also the shocking surprise at the top that motivated her to make the perilous climb.


Unlike most mountains, the mountain they climbed every day did not protrude through the lemon-colored clouds in a point; instead, it flattened out into a five-mile radius all around and had become a dense, dangerous jungle. Though it was teeming with wildlife and vegetation that could kill all three of them in seconds, the beauty of the place was straight out of her wildest fantasies. The leaves on the trees were brightly lit stripes of every shade of the rainbow; the trunks were sparkling gold and thick, bronze vines snaking around it. Bushes of molten orange and the same clear green grass grew unkempt all around them, save for the well-beaten path of Jedi Masters and Padawans before them. To her left, a pair of soft yellow eyes spies through the leafy bushes at them; a moment later, the deer-like creature trots out in front of them and stares into Betsy’s eyes for several moments before moving along. Up in one of the trees, a large jungle cat of some kind watches them warily while lounging lazily along a branch. It was easy to see why the Jedi Masters would bring their eager young students to a place such as this; the sensory overload alone was a test of awareness and focus. As much as she wanted to stop every few feet to examine, touch, smell everything she saw, there was something much more important for her to discover on this mountaintop.


Breaking through a line of the fantastic trees, they finally reach a clearing that knocked the viewer absolutely breathless. Tall white stones were set up all around them in a circle; years of absent Jedi and neglect had allowed the plant life to grow up the stones and create a ceiling created by the planet itself. In the center of this nature-made pavilion were sitting stones in a smaller circle; in the middle of this circle was a wide circle of marble, carved into thousands of symbols. And in the middle of that circle was a boulder large enough for someone to sit cross-legged on for meditation. Somehow, the magic of those symbols had kept nature at bay all those years; not even a grain of errant dirt dared to stain this sacred space. Every time they reached this spot, Betsy had to stop and take it in as she caught her breath. Everything about it was powerful; one could feel the sheer energy of the place before they ever saw it. The stones were glowing a light pink, touched by the sun that was now beginning to warm up the land to its usual moderate temperatures. This was where she and Ahsoka would spend most of their days in silence, quietly meditating and searching through Betsy’s feelings. Though she had fancied herself an open book, The Impossible Traveler was shocked daily to realize that there was much she had repressed and even more to be released. Taking a deep breath, Betsy heads towards the middle to take her place on the center stone to begin. She is surprised however when Ahsoka reaches out a hand and puts it on her shoulder to still her.


“Today is the day I want you to let go of whatever is holding you back. Part of your problem is the need to control every little detail of every situation; you must come to realize that most well-thought-out plans end in disaster and a lot of winging it. These feelings of need, all of them, need to be released if we are to move forward. Your need for control is only but one; shall I touch on the insistence that you need always win? There’s much to be learned in a loss, you know; of course, you know, you just have a hard time accepting the notion. There are also all these things you need from James; the need for him to give you his attention, to validate everything you do, his approval for every minute aspect of your career... This is where the trouble between you starts.”


Even though there’s a scathing reply formulating in her brain, Betsy holds it back, knowing there is truth to every one of Ahsoka’s words. Clearing her mind of any negative feelings she had carried up the mountain with her, she takes her seat on the center stone as Ahsoka sinks into the one directly in front of her. She’s barely made contact when their combined energy causes a blue-white glow to emit from the symbols; it rises into the air and surrounds them as Rex watches from the trees lining the clearing. Betsy had learned quickly that Rex always had one eye open and never trusted the serenity surrounding them. Having learned of his experiences, she couldn’t blame him, even if she felt the action quite unnecessary; but heavens knew, she’d been wrong about this type of stuff before. Closing her eyes, she begins the deep, rhythmic breathing associated with the level of meditation Ahsoka was asking of her today. Reflection was simple; they had burned quickly through her childhood to now, assessing and commenting on events that had led her to this point. Today was about release which was much scarier; Betsy knew in her heart that whatever she released now would be replaced by what was being kept from her... And there was a strong part of her that was frightened to find out what it was.


It doesn’t take long for her to slip inside herself and begin exploring the corridors of her mind. Thousands of doorways are accessible to her; above them are labels of particular dates that represented certain events in her existence. As she glances through each, she realizes that the space she walks through is growing narrower and the doors begin to close. She tries the first one and is shocked to find that it is locked. Looking up at the date, she is confused by the intergalactic date marked above it; from beyond, she can hear the sounds of screaming and destruction as well as the wailing of a scared baby. Stepping back from the door with wide eyes, she quickly bumps into the one behind her; from within, she can hear the muffled, deep voice of a shouting man. A quick glance upward shows her another intergalactic date that made no sense; futilely, she tries the door to find it locked as well. Looking around at the rest of the locked doors, she realizes they all have intergalactic dates; all of them were scattered through various points in history and made absolutely no sense to her... For now. As confusion overwhelms her, she hears a voice calling to her from the end of the corridor; it’s her own voice, but it’s weak and full of terror. Her steps feel like she’s been weighed down by cement; everything tells her to stop, but the fright in her own voice compels her forward.


Surprise fills her as she reaches the end of the corridor and discovers nothing more than a huge, gold-gilded framed mirror. Once the shock of this first surprise passes, she begins to realize that it’s bitterly cold in this part of her mind. Exhaling, she can see her own breath turn to ice in midair, standing in stasis before her. Fascinated, she flicks it with her thumb and middle fingers and watches as it shatters before it disintegrates entirely. Dark green eyes light up in amusement for only a moment; a soft rapping on the mirror diverts her attention back to the task at hand. Amusement grows into horror as she takes looks into the ornate mirror; another Betsy stands in front of her on the other side of the glass of course. Except that this version of Betsy looks as though the very life had been driven from her: faded blonde hair hung matted, clumped tangles over her shoulders. Her skin, from head to toe, was an ugly shade of gray; lifeless green eyes stared in shock from sunken eyes. Her cheeks were as sunken in as her eyes, and her lips were thin and covered in the scabs. Thin, dirty rags hung off her bony figure; both her ankles were adorned with metal bracelets that had been attached to a sturdy, cement wall. Nausea flooded through Betsy as she realized what she was staring at.


This was the prison where she kept the worst parts of herself; hidden and locked away, never to be released. But even as she stared at the pitiful sight in front of her, sympathy began to eat at her resolve. Was it right for her to treat this part of herself this way; after all, everything Ahsoka had taught her so far had been about finding balance, hadn’t it? That’s when she realized that the skin around the bound-up ankles was still raw with fresh injury; it hadn’t been too long ago that she had locked away this part of herself. Why then did she look so... dead? Mirror Betsy, snatching this thought out of the many Betsy had run through in those few moments, grins at her maliciously, pressing herself against the glass. “You know why I look like this... You thought you could keep me away, keep me buried. This is what you’ve done to me; all this deliciously decadent evil and malevolence, the power you could wield if only you’d release me fully. You were so close at March Madness... The way we almost destroyed Lycana and Marf... If only you hadn’t locked me away again before the deed was finished...”


Betsy shakes her head vehemently, denying the words coming from her own cracked lips. “No, what I did at March Madness was never to destroy them... Only to intimidate and send a message.”


“Keep telling yourself that, kiddo, if it helps you to sleep better. I can see it in your eyes, though; you know the truth of it, that’s why you doubled down on my imprisonment. If you let me loose, just think of all the power and fame we could achieve. We could take whatever we wanted and NO ONE would ever think of trying to take what was ours.”


“There are other ways to keep what’s mine without sinking to your levels of play,” Betsy says determinedly, even though she feels the temptation of the words plays at her ego. “Let the Atara Themis’s and Jenny Myst’s of the world step up; I’ll continue to knock them down one by one.”


As this inner monologue continues, Ahsoka and Rex watch in fascination as she begins to permeate that yellow-white glow. It had happened briefly a few times before, but never like this; Ahsoka watched on, entranced at how the first strings of energy emitted from her fingertips before working through the rest of her body. Now Betsy’s entire being glowed with the energy she possessed; rising from her own stone, Ahsoka gets as close as she can to observe. Though she can feel the Force flowing through Betsy and the power she exuded, it wasn’t Force energy being called upon at this moment. Crystal blue eyes light up when one of Betsy’s hands rises into the air and begins to form a glowing ball of liquid energy from her palm. It’s then that Betsy’s face changes from the serenity of meditation to the anger and confusion of someone being told something they don’t want to hear. Sensing it just before it happened, Ahsoka jumps to the right as Betsy lets out a primal scream and throws the energy ball forward; it bursts through the barrier and collides into a row of trees. From her crouched position, she can see Betsy’s face twist and contort with rage and desperation; whatever the Traveler was facing, it wasn’t pleasant.


That’s when the hologram on her wrist suddenly came to life.


****

****

“Corey, why are you making this so difficult?! I’m sure by now the fans are ready to vomit with how lovey-dovey we’ve been towards one another so far. But surely, they must understand how difficult it is for me to come after someone like you. It’s not every week I get to look forward to a match against someone who doesn’t want to rip my face right off of my skull and use it to make a lamp or whatever it is Lycana does. I almost wish there was something about you I could come after, it would make this part a shit ton easier on my end.


I would like to address a few things, however. For starters, my apologies for the insistent use of the term Gatekeeper in regards to your status. You’ve made it clear you don’t agree with the title and I’ve used it several times since; sorry about that, I guess hearing it enough times forces it to become a habit. The fact is, you’re much more than a gatekeeper; hell, you’re more than a tag champion, though you excelled in that successfully. There’s nothing folks like you can’t reach, you’ve got everything you need right at your fingertips; talent, looks, that ‘it’ factor I’m always hearing people go on about. I’ve never quite figured out what ‘it’ was supposed to be, but I reckon you epitomize it. Nothing will stop you from rising high in the XWF, you’re already well on your way. But you better believe that I’ll always be right there; whether I’m two steps behind you or three steps ahead of you, I’ll be there. Although, if I’m being completely transparent, I’d rather have you look at see me by your side. I think we’ve both made it clear that there are no bitter feelings between the two of us; what’s to stop us from forming a powerhouse of a friendship? Oh dear, here I go again, I must be starting to sound like a broken record by now. Speaking of friends, you had a few things to say about the company I keep and I feel I should probably address that, as well.


I’m going to preface this next bit by saying that I’m not making excuses for any of the past transgressions committed by my loved ones. I’m not blind to the atrocities Shawn and James have been party to in the past, but those sins are for them to atone for. I know they’ve done some fucked up shit; I also know that both of them are capable of great amounts of good... When they choose to show it.


Shawn Warstein, Fuzz, Sick Cunt, it doesn’t matter what you call him; controversy follows his name wherever he goes. Even now, people could chalk him up to being little more than a Twitter-thirsty bully of sorts. No one ever goes deeper into his thought process than that, and that makes those people all the more foolish. Anyone with a history with this man knows that what you see from him is exactly what he WANTS you to see. No, I’m not trying to break kayfabe right now and out him as some sort of soft little bunny rabbit who volunteers his time at homeless shelters and soup kitchens. That’s not the man Shawn Warstein is; however, he’s also not the monster that so many have turned him into through the years. His rap sheet in the industry is ten miles long and he’s got enemies everywhere, but no one can deny the resilience and tenacity that he puts into his game. The man known as Fuzz is gone and people need to accept that; invoking that side of him, trying to poke the bear, it’s not a wise idea. People complain that the things Shawn did back then are too reprehensible to forgive, but won’t allow the man to try and move forward from them. Let he or she without sin cast the first stones; find me one purely innocent person in this industry, I’ll wait. I’m sure if anyone can find them, you will.


As to that entire mess between Shawn and Atty... You don’t know how lucky you are to be distanced from this bullshit. I don’t think I need to say much more on that; the two of them have seen to that themselves. I’m not impressed so far with how she thinks she’s going to get under my skin; to be quite frank, I’ve got bigger problems than her. But she insists on making herself a target, so who am I not to oblige her?


As to James, he’s been very candid with me about the things he’s done; I wouldn’t be with him if I thought any horrible secrets were going to come spilling out at any point. Not that much of it was any secret; everything you guys have done and continues to do will be made public one way or another. It’s a tricky bitch, we get the fame and acclaim we desire at the cost of our privacy. You never know when enemy eyes have drones watching your every move. That’s the paranoia talking, let me get back to the point at hand. I know he’s no saint, but James is no demon, either. He’s a flawed individual, just like all the rest of them I’ve ever met. Everyone acts in a way they feel is right, it’s why everyone thinks they are the hero of their own story. James has lived long enough to see himself become the villain time and again and he’s content in that role. That’s where I come in; I can see past the bravado he exudes in public. He shows me sides of himself that aren’t privy to the public and I won’t be making them such now. But that man has the ability for love and loyalty beyond anyone I’ve ever known; it’s just such a shame that he chose to put those loyalties into the wrong people through the years. Hell, Shawn has done the same thing; it is my hope that through my innate sense of honor and good that those two will one day see that not everything has to be handled with devious plots and senseless violence. I’m not trying to remake them into something else; I just want the world to see that there is still good in them.


I’m not asking you to forgive them for anything they’ve done; that’s a choice that’s yours to make if you ever choose. I’m not excusing a single thing either of them has done, either; too much of it is too ugly to brush under the rug. The fact that their past actions still affect you now is something I can’t apologize for, but I do hope you can understand where I’m coming from. If not, that’s fine too, not everyone was meant to see the world in shades of grey. Being able to see both sides of the fence is tricky; even when one side is glaringly in the wrong, there always manages to be people you love on that side of it. It’s not easy and I bear these questions because they are fair, but I hope they have been sufficiently answered for you here today. What they’ve done, who they were and who they choose to be now... They do so of their own accord. But I’m Betsy; I’m a different breed that tries to bring out a little good in the worst of everything and everyone. I know nothing will ever be sunshine and rainbow bliss in the XWF, but it doesn't have to be destruction and war all the time, either.


But just for shits and giggles, how about we skip away from the ring after the match towards a beautiful cotton candy sunset?


Seriously, I know a planet that’s basically like being in a giant... candy land...


Huh... Scratch that one, Corey. But on the real... Let's get together, yeah yeah yeah, we’ll have lots of fuuuuun... I really don’t have much else for you, Coreydorable. I know I spent a lot of my time this time gabbing about the guys; a time I’m sure was wasted. I wasn’t here to try and make you change your mind about them, but I’m hoping I can offer a different perspective to them if given the chance. To wrap up the business at hand, however: I’m super looking forward to this match, win or lose; we’re going to steal the entire fucking show on Wednesday night and there isn’t a damn specialty match on the card that’s going to top what we’re going to give them.


Come to think of it, that was rather rude of booking to have a mid-card match carefully placed to outshine the main event. Oh well!”


****

****

Ask for forever when the end is in sight
Showing what you want to
We're looking for light inside an ocean of night
But will we ever see it through?

And I need you to know, I'm not asking for a miracle
But if love is enough, could you let it show?
If you feel it, could you let me know?



****

****



The vibration against her arm and the obnoxious beeping cut through her meditations; she steals one last glance at Mirror Betsy, who is clawing desperately at the glass, begging her not to go. Rising from the depths of her own mind, Betsy’s emerald eyes fly open as she lifts the hologram to her face. Heart pounding, she leaps off the stone and runs off a few feet into the jungle for added privacy. While she leans against a tree and attempts to catch her breath, she presses the button to answer the incoming transmission; now it’s the sight of James’ face that causes her breath to catch in her throat. Feeling as though her skin was the only thing keeping her insides from spilling out around her, she looks down at his image with tear-filled eyes. Noticing her shallow breath and tears, the determinedly angry face of James crumbles with concern. “Bets, are you alright? They haven’t hurt you or anything, have they?” Unable to speak, Betsy merely nods and shakes her head in reply to his questions. Once he’s assured that she’s fine, his face twists back into a genuine rage. “Betsy, what the fuck?”


“James...” was all she could manage with a wistful sigh, which seemed to incense him further.


“Give me a break, Betsy; you’ve been gone for almost a week now with absolutely no word as to where you were and how you were doing. You don’t get to take that tone with me, not this time.” his words, though truthful, were slurred as he spoke them.


Her heart sinks as she attempts to grasp the words, he’s spitting at her like venom; that’s when realizes what he’s been doing this entire time to cope. “A week... How has it been that long? Babe, are YOU alright? Please tell me you haven’t gotten too heavy into the bottles...”


“Don’t deflect this conversation onto me, Bets; it doesn’t matter how much I’ve had to drink. Why did you send me back, right after we promised one another that we’d walk through hell together?” she can hear his hurt through the slurring; it tugs at her heart but she lets him have his say. “Seriously, right after we had that big fucking break-through, you turn right around and push me away again at the first test. Why the fuck do you keep doing this, Bets?”


Suddenly exhausted, Betsy slides down against the trunk of the tree, hitting the ground hard. Even though she knew this was coming from a liquid-fueled place, the questions were more than fair. But this far apart, while he was drunk and angry and she exhausted, was not the time for them. “James, I don’t think this is the right time for...”


“The fuck it isn’t, I think now is as good a time as any to talk this shit out.”


“James, I have to go.” her voice is thick with tears as her finger hovers over the button to end the transmission. “I love you.”


“Betsy Granger, don’t you fucking dare end this call; after that stunt you pulled on the Star Destroyer, you don’t get to pull that shit, not this time.” this time, the rage in his voice is clear and free of any slurring. She freezes as her hand drops back uselessly to her side. “You’re always demanding me to remind you that I’m yours, and I do so happily because I am. I think I’ve done plenty to make that point pretty fucking clear by now. I’ve stood beside you in everything, including when you decided you wanted to wrestle again; I’ve even stepped aside to give you opportunities that were rightfully mine. And this is how you fucking repay me, Bets? By pushing me away, over and over; do you think I’m too stupid or weak to help you out of some of those crazy situations you get yourself in? Do you not trust me to have your back, even when you’re wrong and we both know you are?” His voice cracks from emotion as he continues, each word stabbing away at her heart. “Do you love me, Bets? Like, really love me? Do you trust me at all? Are you truly mine, or do I just serve a purpose in your life like everyone else around you?”


His words hit like bullets; the sobs threaten to overwhelm her as she gasps for breath in order to articulate an answer. James falls silent, staring up at her with rage on his face, but something more like pleading in his eyes. Her tears begin to fall over the hologram image of him, causing him to blur a bit from view. “James, I love you more than anything or anyone out there; or course I’m yours. Completely and unquestionably yours. And I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel as though I don’t trust you; I trust you with my very life, it’s why you hold my heart completely in your hands. You have to believe me, James, I....”


Before she can finish, another voice from James’ end can be heard; Betsy’s heart sinks as she recognizes the throaty, dulcet Grecian accent. A moment later, the gorgeous, smirking face of Atara Themis pops into the image, standing much closer to James than Betsy would prefer; with a flash of rage, Betsy realizes where the two of them are. “Hello, Dove.” Atara greets her, practically purring with satisfaction at the reaction from Betsy.


“You’re fucking kidding me right now, right? Of all the women in all the world for you to drunkenly commiserate with... You chose HER?” Now it’s Betsy whose face contorts with rage as she begins to tremble violently. “I know I hurt you with what I did, but this? You really sunk to this to get back at me for it?”


James glances nervously at Atara, who has grown too close for even his comfort now. He takes a step back, looking up almost apologetically at Betsy before allowing his face to fall back into its indignant rage. “Are you accusing me of something Betsy? If you are, you may as well just come out and say it so we can clear all the air.” Shaking her head angrily, she sticks her fingers through Atara’s eyes; flashing her a devious grin, Atara’s face disappears from the image. James looks up at her, refusing to give an inch to his now furious girlfriend. “Go ahead, Bets, the class is waiting.”


“No,” Betsy says with a low snarl. “Not with her in the room; I don’t care how much you told her; she doesn’t get to be privy for this next part. It should be done face to face anyway.”


“Anything you have to say to me, you could surely say in front of Atty as well. After all, are we not all friends here?” James asks, his voice thick with condescension. He grins up at her now, challenging her to object to this.


“Who needs enemies with friends like Atara?” Betsy growls. “Maybe we were all friends, but things have changed and you know that. You know how I feel about her role in your life at this point; how could you do this to me?”


“What exactly have I done to you, Betsy, hmmm? I went out for a few drinks and a friend met me at the bar. I got a little deep into my mugs, Atty was nice enough to help me home.”


“Yeah, awfully nice of her to do; such a friendly gesture from such a solid gal. So, tell me then... Why is she still there if all she was doing was getting you home?”


She can see how bloodshot and bleary his eyes are when he finally looks fully up at her. The lack of emotion in his face now almost makes her gag. “Friends are allowed to hang out, Bets. You have male friends you hang out with all the time; why can’t I have Atty?”


“Because those friends haven’t made it obvious since day one that they would fuck the shit out of me if given half the chance. And you, in all your infinite wisdom, just gave her an ample opportunity to take advantage of a shitty situation.” All of this bursts from Betsy unbidden as she forgets that Atara was still within hearing shot.


James’ face twists with grief and cold fury as her words land on his brain. “So, you really don’t trust me, huh? Good to know, Bets... Good to know.”


“It’s not you, god damn it! I trust you entirely, it’s HER,” Betsy’s words catch in her throat as desperation begins to take control. “Please, this really isn’t the time or place to be having this talk. I’ll be home soon-”


“Will you, though? You accepted this request to run off with that orange chick and her dad and left me hanging with absolutely nothing, Betsy. NOTHING! I had no idea if you were okay if you’d been captured, hurt, killed. One moment, you’re promising me that we walk through hell together, the next you’re forcing me home with nothing but empty words and promises. Maybe I’m asking the wrong question; perhaps I should be asking why I should trust YOU!”


“Because I love you, and all I ever want is for you to be happy... and safe...” Her voice trails off weakly as she realizes how feeble every word sounded coming off her tongue. “Because when I come home, I will explain everything; from top to bottom, everything that is going on. I won’t keep you in the dark any longer; you have my word that what happens with me going forward will involve you just as much.”


“You’ve said that to me so many times now Bets, I just don’t know if I can go on believing you anymore.” the anger disappeared from his voice; now he just sounded tired and defeated. “You know I still love you... And you know where to find me when you come home. But Bets,” now his voice took on a hard edge. “Don’t keep me waiting for long. I may not be as inclined to wait around this time.”


With that, the transmission went dead.


Hiding her face in her hands, she sat against the tree trunk and wept for several minutes as the conversation replayed itself in her mind over and over. She knew James had every right to be as angry as he was, but to bring Atara into their home this soon after? And he said it had been almost a week... How long had Atara been there with him? What had they been doing; could he be trusted in his drunken state to be telling her the truth? As questions and paranoid images began to float through her mind, immense anger and sadness began to overwhelm her senses. It bubbles up hotly through her veins, threatening to explode through her; without even realizing it, she had created two large balls of energy in her palms and had started walking blindly through the jungle. Reaching the clearing, she looks at Rex and Ahsoka with unseeing eyes for several minutes. Finally, Ahsoka bridges the space between them and calls out to the Impossible Traveler in a gentle, yet firm voice.


“Come back to us now, Betsy. Release these feelings.”


With a scream, Betsy turns the energy inward on herself; in a brilliant flash, the energy storms through her, causing every cell to explode with the power of it. Then she collapses into Ahsoka’s arms as the world fades to black...

****

****

Two days had passed since the phone call and tried though she might, Betsy hadn’t been able to get a hold of James. His refusal to answer her transmission signals made his message very clear: come home or don’t bother. In spite of all of Ahsoka’s teachings, Betsy couldn’t stop all the heavy feelings from consuming her; this became apparent when Ahsoka had decided it was time for her to begin lightsaber training. This is what currently occupied our somber trio; Ahsoka and Rex stood to watch nearby, under the shade of rainbow leaves, while Betsy stood crouched in the center of a fighting circle. Her eyes and ears had been covered, forcing her to reach out with whatever powers she had within her. The training probe buzzed all around her, aimed and ready to fire at any time. With lightning speed, it shot out several shots at once, moving with a swiftness that Betsy had been unprepared for. Stumbling as she attempts to deflect the stinging blows hitting her body, she falls over, the mask falling from her face. Jumping to her feet, she lets out a scream of frustration and blasts a shot of phasma energy at the probe. It disintegrates where it floats, earning her a disapproving look from Ahsoka.


“You really must learn to control that temper of yours; these feelings of anger, aggression, sadness, fear... They are all paths to the Dark Side.” Ahsoka’s voice is gentle as she lectures Betsy, picking up the lightsaber and handing it back to her. “Don’t give in to those feelings, Impossible Traveler. Breathe. Clear your mind. Focus.”


Taking Betsy’s hand, Ahsoka closes her eyes and looks up into the rosy sun. Following her lead, Betsy does the same; instantly, the pink hues hit her face in a dreamy warmth that spreads through her body. Her mind instantly calms itself as she allows it to relax and wash away the feelings, she had been carrying with her. With a gentle squeeze, Ahsoka releases Betsy’s hand and puts the sensory blockers back on. Crouching into a fighting position, Betsy ignites the lightsaber and waits. Willing her mind to maintain the serenity she had just felt, she reaches out towards the probe; this time, she is able to cleanly deflect all three shots it aims at her. Her entire body lights up as her pride takes hold; a moment later, the probe strikes swiftly, sending a well-aimed shot straight at her the back of her neck. With a gasp, Betsy falls to her knees, grabbing at the spot. With a sigh, Ahsoka rejoins her in the center of the circle, removing the gear and having a look at her neck. A signal to Rex has him hurrying over with the first aid kit. Silently, Ahsoka tends to the mild burn as Betsy internally berates herself.


“Why are you so afraid to let go of these feelings, Betsy?” Ahsoka asks in a soft voice as her deft fingers rub in the bacta. “I can feel it within you; you’re ready to be free of them, but you won’t allow yourself to do it. Let them go, Betsy.”


“How?” Betsy croaks, turning her head to the side. “How do I let go of something that feels inherently part of myself? These feelings, the emotions, are part of who I am; I hate feeling this way, but I don’t know how to release them.”


“I’m going to be truthful with you in the hopes that this will help; I wasn’t going to mention it just yet because I don’t have much more to offer you than this. This power you wield... It’s strong. I can’t put my finger on it; it’s not the Force, though the Force does flow strongly through it and you as well.”


Betsy shakes her head. “It’s not mine; the powers, that is. During my travels with one of the Time Lords, I was chosen as a host to an endangered species of energy beings; the power I have inside of me comes from them.”


Ahsoka looks up sharply, her face twisting in confusion. “Who told you that nonsense?”


Now it’s Betsy’s turn to look surprised. “Mr. Smithee... he explained everything to me after I woke up after receiving all that life force at once; it’s a lot to take in, after all.” Her voice trails off as Ahsoka’s face grows angrier with every word. “Why do you look ready to tear someone’s throat out?”


“Because you have been intentionally deceived in the worst fashion.” Ahsoka is trembling with the rage Betsy is too confused to feel. “This power you carry is from no outside source, Impossible Traveler; you were born to it. That power is yours by right.” The words hit like bricks, stunning Betsy into shocked silence. Ahsoka continues, her voice hard. “I don’t know what the story behind all of this is, but things are beginning to become clear.” In unison, Ahsoka and Betsy rise to their feet. 0 Ahsoka talks gently over Betsy when she attempts to object. “It’s time for you to go home, Impossible Traveler; return to your love. The greatest test to your love is yet to come; don’t ever be afraid to reach out and take his hand. He wants to walk beside you, let him. You’ll need him more than ever once the truth finally comes out. And find someone who can help you free what’s trapped; if you know anyone who can pick a locked mind, seek them out immediately.”


A malevolent set of eyes, staring at her from across the ring springs unbidden to the forefront of her mind; forcing this image back, Betsy nods, and she and Ahsoka hug their farewells. Turning to Rex to do the same, her heart jumps when she sees that the old soldier has tears in his eyes. His voice is gruff when he gives her a quick, one-armed hug. “Don’t be a stranger, eh? We’ll be waiting on ya here to finish what we started. Plenty more stories to tell, if that’s anything you’d be interested in.”


Giving Rex a tight squeeze, Betsy kisses his cheek firmly and smiles up into his sad eyes. “I’ll be back, Rex; you haven’t told me nearly enough about General Kenobi.”


Rex gives a hearty chuckle as Betsy steps back, pushing a sequence of numbers into the hologram bracelet; a few moments later, the familiar sound of Excellence’s engine rang through the air. Materializing a few feet from Betsy, Excellence settles with a graceful bump, earning a smirk from Ahsoka and a confused glance from Rex. With a grin, Betsy opens the door and steps inside, leaving it open intentionally. Exchanging a look, Ahsoka and Rex follows her inside the deceptively small phone booth and freeze. “It’s bigger on the inside.” They say in unison. Betsy grins and nods, caressing the piloting wheel affectionately.


Rex turns and hightails it back out quickly, muttering about magic and trickery. Ahsoka stays behind; the two women walk towards one another and meet in the center of the engine room. Crystal blue eyes meet emerald green for several minutes, saying everything that needed to be said without uttering a syllable. Finally, Ahsoka smiles and tips her head respectfully; mimicking the gesture, Betsy smiles and waves one last time at the Togruta before the door shuts and she’s on her way. Before she knows it, Excellence has parked herself inside the garage next to James’ array of motorcycles and sports cars. Stalling out of fear, Betsy sits in the captain's chair, nausea playing coy in her stomach. There’s no doubt that James had heard Excellence arrive; if he were home that was. Anxiety squeezes her heart tightly; forcing herself to breathe using Ahsoka’s meditation tactics, Betsy finally exits the ship and heads inside the house.


The first thing she notices is how deathly quiet it is. The only sounds are her footsteps on the hardwood floor and the ticking of the grandfather clock in the study. Closing her eyes, she remains frozen on the spot, listening for any signs of life within the home. A steady, chopping sound from the backyard finally makes its way to her ears; opening her eyes again, she walks on heavy feet towards the French doors in the dining room that leads out to the patio. Looking through the glass, her heart beats a million miles per minute when her eyes land on him. His back is turned to her, the muscles rippling as he swings the ax in his hands, sweat glistening off of him. Sliding open the door silently, she creeps out onto the porch and sits on the top step, watching him thoughtfully. He appears to be sober, something for which she is grateful; several empty gallon water jugs are lined up behind one that is currently half full. Not long after she takes her seat on the steps, James takes a break and sets the ax down. He turns towards her as he wipes sweat out of his face and starts when he spots her sitting there, staring at him.


“Fucking hell Bets, you can’t just sneak up on a guy with an ax.” His surprise fades quickly as he tosses the towel away. Genuine joy fills his eyes for a brief moment before disappearing quickly behind an emotionless mask. His eyes never leave hers as he takes a deliberately long drink from his water bottle. Betsy only watches him patiently, wishing she could wrap him up in her arms. He finally sets the bottle down with a sigh. “So, you finally came back, did you? That was nice of you.”


He walks towards her and for one brief moment, hope springs through her thinking that perhaps he would embrace her. Disappointment crushes her as he pushes past her and heads into the house; swallowing back the lump in her throat, Betsy follows behind him, her head hung low. “I promised you I would...” was all she could manage in a quiet voice.


James snorts derisively as he walks over to the kitchen sink and wets down a few paper towels with cold water. He wipes them over his forehead as he glances back at Betsy. “You’ve promised me a lot of things recently that you’ve immediately gone back on. Why was I supposed to believe you again?”


“Because...” The piercing looks in his brown eyes break her; through the hurt and the anger, she can see the deep love he still feels for her. “Because I need you, James; I’m sorry I pushed you away again, but I swear on my own life that I will never do it again. Ever, for any reason; no matter what happens, it’s you and me.”


“What even makes you think there is still you and me, hmm? Weren’t you so sure the other night that something was going to happen between Atara and me? What makes you think I didn’t go ahead and indulge myself while you were gone?”


Taking deep, trembling breaths, Betsy forces herself to hold his gaze, even as tears stung the back of her eyes. “Because I believe you love me more than that. And even though I don’t deserve it right now, I know that you are loyal and respect me and our relationship to risk it on a drunken fling with your friend's ex-girlfriend.” Stepping forward, she takes his hand; while he doesn’t yank his hand away, he doesn’t wrap his fingers around hers, either. Taking what she can get, Betsy continues on. “If you had, you wouldn’t be able to look me in the eye right now. I told you, James, I trust you with my very life; I may not be happy that you chose Atara as a drinking partner, but I never believed that you would cross that line. It’s her,” her voice grows hard now. “It’s not just about her trying to shoot her shot; she knew how much this would screw with me. And you played right into it.” Now her voice cracks with emotion as a tear falls from her eye. “That’s what hurts the most about it; I know it was done out of anger, but you knew which buttons to push and you pushed them all.”


Guilt creeps into his face and finally into his eyes; his anger breaks suddenly and his hands fall to his sides uselessly. They stare at each other helplessly now. “Bets, I...”


“No, James; what’s done is done and there’s nothing to apologize for in that regard. We both did things that we shouldn’t have; now we’re both hurting and for what? All that matters now is how we move forward, right?” She stares up into his face imploringly, holding her breath waiting on his reply.


James stares at her for a long time, studying every inch of her expression. After an eternity, he heaves a heavy sigh and shakes his head in agreement. “I’m still pissed, Bets, you need to understand that. You sent me away and left me completely in the dark; it’s going to take a lot more than a few apologies and kisses to make up for this one.”


“I agree; I fucked up royally this time around. I’m willing to do whatever I must to make this up to you. I love you so fucking much; the notion of ever losing you is the worst fucking possibility my life carries.” her green eyes grow wild with passion as she stares up into his face, grabbing at his hands again. “I’ll do whatever I have to earn your trust again; starting with telling you everything I’ve been keeping from you. I just want you to know, nothing I’ve stayed silent on has been to intentionally deceive you; the things I’ve been sitting on are dangerous and once you are fully involved, there is no turning back.”


Her heart leaps into her throat when he cups her face gently in his hands. For the first time, he allows his face to grow warm, even though his guard is still up. His words are heated and thick with emotion as he touches his forehead to hers. “I love you Betsy Granger and I’m still yours; more to the point, I’m declaring here and now that you are mine. Do you understand me?” He looks down on her with intensity as she nods. “Whatever hell you’re facing, let me in so I can help you through it. We’re forever, Betsy; it’s time to start acting like it.”


She waits for several moments, hoping that his heated words would be followed with an equally heated kiss; instead, he guides them both towards the sitting area. Settling across from one another on the same couch, Betsy opens her mouth to tell James everything... Then the tweet pings on his phone. Out of habit, he pulls it out to check; her heart sinks when Atara’s display name appears with a tweet.

@JamesRavenXWF Want to return the favor...I'm already home but need someone to take my keys... 😘

— Antagonist for Hire (@AtaraThemis) April 19, 2021

Their eyes lock on one another’s as they both drink in the words written on the screen and the implications behind them. Even though she desperately wants to stay cool, Betsy feels tenses visibly. James catches this right away and instinctively leans forward to catch her hand in his; the touch of his fingers pressing against hers takes her breath away. Despite the gesture, the vulnerability that has been held at bay until now finally shows itself to him. Her words are choked and quiet as she manages to get them. Three little words, but the fear in her voice as she speaks them tears at his heart.


“Please don’t go.”


The gravity of her request and the timing of it wasn’t lost on either of them. For an eternity, she and James sat frozen staring at one another; James still had his phone in his hand, ready to send a reply Atara’s way. Something in Betsy’s expression must have hit home then; without a second thought, he turns his phone off and sets it aside. “You have my undivided attention and a lot of talking to do.”


Relief washes through her as she sags against the couch; her words are quick and breathless when she starts. Tripping over her words in an attempt to get everything out, she quickly grows red in her cheeks and frustrated. James watched her attempt several times to start again, feeling mildly vindictive amusement at her obvious struggle. Eventually, pity took over when he realized that whatever she had to tell him was clearly heavy; finally closing the gap between them, he lifts her face gently with his fingers and kisses her softly. It’s over as quickly as it begins; James taps her nose with his finger gently when her expression turns pleading. “No more of that until you tell me everything, I need to know about you.”


The kiss had the desired effect, however; feeling more relaxed now, Betsy allows her body to lean closer to his as her words become more articulate and she finally tells him everything; allowing him completely and irreversibly into her entire world and all the disaster that was always looming just around the corner...



****

Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies
I'm not asking for a miracle
We're looking for angels in the darkest of skies
I'm not asking for a miracle

****

FORMER