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(01-19-2013)

"What are you doing, Neptune-san?"

That was Hisoka. My ever so protective bodyguard. He is meant to protect me from harm, of any shape and form.

Though, I'm not really sure what kind of harm could come to me in a supermarket, in the cold section.

"Treating myself," I replied, simply.

Hisoka didn't really seem to understand. He watched me pick out a milk carton from a variety of options. Soy, Lactose-free, Full cream, Half cream, Skim, and so on and so forth. So many options.

I chose the cheapest one.

Not because I'm cheap, mind you. Some people may disagree, but I'm actually frugal. I know how to save. And now that I'm dirt poor, I know it's a good skill to have.

"Hm, I guess you deserve it, Neptune-san," Hisoka finally said. "You did defeat both Nio and Griffin MacAlister. That's a good feat."

"Did somebody say feet?" said some strange guy wearing an ugly suit and a dirty hat. "It took you guys no more than thirty seconds to mention Neptune's feet. Why the obsession?"

Both Hisoka and I glanced at each other, unsure of what was happening. Hisoka was then the first to speak up.

"First of all, I said feat as in performing a feat," he said, with his usual neutral tone, though I could detect an ounce of nastiness in there somewhere. "And second, who are you? Explain your sudden appearance to us or I shall destroy you where you stand. Nobody insults Neptune-san in my presence without paying the consequences."

"Whoa, whoa, a bit touchy there, aren't we?" said the dirty stranger. He looked kind of old. "Name's Snoopy. Yes, like the dog. My parents were weirdos. And I'm a freelance journalist. I find the dirt and expose it to the world."

Hisoka grunted, unhappy with the response he got from the dirty man. "You're scum," he said. "You better get out of our faces before I lose my patience."

"Hey, this is a public place, I have the right to be here," replied Snoopy. Man, what a stupid name. Anyway... the dirty old man didn't look like he was going to back off.

I tugged at Hisoka's shirt and said to him without even glancing at the dirty man, "Let's just go. I have everything I need."

I turned and left, with Hisoka following me. Snoopy grinned and said, "Ignoring me won't make me disappear. You're the X-Treme champion, Neptune. I will find the dirt on you!"

We didn't speak much on the way home, Hisoka and I. Mostly my fault. I didn't wish to speak. My mind was elsewhere.

When we got to the crappy apartment, I put the groceries away while Hisoka went to check his 'farm' on the roof. It felt nice to have Hisoka stand up for me like that. It reminded me of before. With Mattaki...

Hm. Not a good idea. Thinking about that. The time that's gone. The time I was in Japan, thinking I had achieved my happy ending. I have been blocking and repressing thoughts of that previous life as much as I can. But of course... you can't always succeed at doing things like that. Once in a while, it bites back... and stings. For a while.

I was going to treat myself... but in the end, I just went to my room. Let myself fall on the bed, on my back. It was late afternoon. Days go by so quickly... I stay up late at night, unable to sleep. Then I go to the roof, to train, keep things at their best. And before I know it, the sun is already setting. Gives me time to spend with my thoughts. Thoughts I'm so desperately trying to avoid.

"This is no time for napping, Neptune-san."

Hisoka walked into the room. I didn't look at him. My eyes stayed on the ceiling. I was watching the setting sunlight, it was kind of hypnotic. I could feel Hisoka's stare on me.

"Is something wrong?" he asked. "Is it that scum that's bothering you? As I said, I can find him and punish him for offending you."

"I thought you were meant to be a bodyguard," I replied. "You sound like a football fan who had his favourite team insulted..."

Hisoka smiled. "I am here to protect you, Neptune-san. It is a matter of honour. Protecting you is not limited to physical harm."

"That's nice, Hisoka..." I was fading from the conversation.

But he wasn't going to let me go that easily.

"Neptune-san, I don't understand," he said. "You hold a championship, it might not the most prestigious one, but it is a championship. And you have just vanquished not one, but two opponents at the same time. Why are you feeling so gloomy?"

I thought for a moment. I wondered if I should share what I thought with Hisoka. He most likely would do his best to make me feel different... but maybe he would also understand. In the end, I think of no reason not to answer him.

"That's just it, Hisoka," I answered. "A year ago, I would've been bragging and celebrating. Even for a low championship belt, I would've been quite proud of my achievement. But today... I don't feel anything.

I feel empty inside."

I'm a man of my word, aren't I?

When I said that both Nio and Griffin were going to bite the dust, I wasn't joking. Nio had such arrogance in his promos leading up to our match. He thought he was better than me, that he had achieved more and had somehow surpassed me. Boy, how fucking delusional can someone be? Then again, he is constantly going on about his rubbish sci-fi lifestyle or whatever... there are clearly some loose screws in his brain. Then there was Griffin, the nothing that went through electrocution to become... nothing. He started swearing and getting into self-flagellation, thinking that'd give him some sort of edge and yet... he ended up submitting to me. Man, that cracks me up. The sheer stupidity of those two.

And this week, I'm facing a guy who is, believe it or not, a sort of hybrid of those two. He is delusional and uses cheap tactics to strike fear in the hearts of his opponents. I wouldn't be surprised if he started going into dark alleys and saying to random people: "I'm Sebastian Duke" in a growly voice, hoping it'd make him seem badass. It's kind of sad really. It's like watching an overly obese kid go ice-skating and see the ice crack under the pressure. You try not to laugh then you realise that the kid inflicted that upon himself so you end up laughing your fucking ass off. Sebastian Duke is that overly obese kid. You can tell he's going to fail in the most epic way imaginable and yet you feel no guilt in mocking him. Heh.

So, Pukey, you went and crucified Jesus, eh? Well, not Jesus really, just some guy who looks like the representation of Jesus Christ. Why did you do that crap again? I mean, I know you believe your shit, I know you truly believe you're bad ass and evil because you've "re-crucified" a religious figure... but... really... did you think that sort of stunt makes you evil? Or even threatening? I got some bad news for you bad hair-do; this is not some Z-grade horror film. If you want to kill and crucify people, maybe wrestling isn't for you. Maybe you should go down to the Bronx and insult the niggas there with your shit. Now that'd be a bloody mess. I can see it now, a fat ass Sweet Brown coming at you after you say you've crucified Jesus, she'd be like "You did what to the Lord Jesus? AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR DAT!" and she'd kick your sorry ass back to the creepy hole you came from. But you're one of those delusional fools, aren't you? You come in here with your stupid ass costume and think you can threaten your opponents using shitty tactics like that? Man, if I say to you that you suck, it wouldn't even do justice to how incredibly lame you are.

But let's pretend for a minute, for the sake of having a laugh at your expense, that yes, you did this thing to be seen as evil. You crucify Jesus and you go 'yep, I'm badass and evil now, the world hates me'. Did anybody even care? I mean, seriously. The only person who talks about it is you. You carry on and on about this stunt and yet, it's not covered anywhere in the media. I have looked at the big papers, the most visited news websites and all that, and nothing. Did you even get any articles in a small town newspaper? I think not. It must have really pissed you off, eh? You spent all this energy and time on a crucifixion and yielded no results. How fucking lame. God, you’re so fucking lame. Even that train wreck of a face Nicki Minaj can pull off a better buzz than you. You think killing off Jesus would make you evil? No, man. It makes you like the zillionth 'celebrity' to use religion as a way to get attention. Nobody even gasped at your pathetic stunt. Now... if it had been me and I wanted the world to hate me? I would have put puppies and kittens in a basket, place it in the middle of the ring and smash the fuck out of that with a fucking sledgehammer laughing my ass off and wearing a Nickelback t-shirt. Now that shit would get me hated more than Hitler himself! People get a bit annoyed when other people get killed, but man, they go fucking nuts if you touch a defenseless baby animal! Especially puppies and kittens, the cutest things on the planet.

See, Pukeface, I can be more evil than you with just a thought. You had to fucking put on a show to showcase just how creepy and

your mind is and for what? For nothing. Sebastian Duke doesn't even register on anybody's radar. Oh yes, I'm sure you think people give you attention. I know you go around raping Griffin in dark dungeons thinking you're hot shit... and yet... nothing. Sebastian Duke still remains a complete irrelevant piece of the wallpaper in the XWF. The only fans you have are fucking goths who wish so desperately to be touched again by their Daddies. You would know about that, wouldn't you, Duke? I see just how creepy you are with father stuff. It's a little bit weird, I tell ya. Maybe you should seek psychiatric help.

It is exhausting, isn't it, Puke? Trying so hard to be noticed. Wanting to be seen as some sort of badass threat. Yet, you get beaten down by a fucking woman. A woman. Good God, man... can you be more pathetic? She manhandled you and beat the shit out of your sorry ass. How did it feel? I'm sure part of you was probably aroused because you imagined Ursula as your Daddy... but still... did it hurt to have your manhood crushed to pieces? But then again, you didn't have much of one to begin with. Maybe that's why you're able to show your face again. Seriously, man... What the fuck do you think is going to happen? I have beaten better men than you. I'm not just saying that to be cool, but fuck, even a Kid in a superhero costume had more balls than you. When I look at you, Puke, I see a little shit trying to be something he's not. You think threatening someone means threatening their lives. Pretending you're going to kidnap them and kill them... or electrocute their brains... Pfft. Get real. Seriously. I already faced an opponent who thought they were going to scare me by dislocating their thumbs and changing their personalities. You know what happened to him? He fucking got my toes in his fucking mouth and he tapped out like a bitch.

You see, Puke, I am not going to kill you. Hell, I'm not even going to break one single bone in your body. You know why? Because you're not worth the fucking trouble to begin with. You're a little player. You got nothing. I am going to face you during the Black Parade and humiliate you. And I'm not talking about putting you on a leash and making you out of a dog bowl as I know you'd enjoy that way too much. No, I'm talking about beating you. Simply. Making you submit to me. You are an annoyance this week. Nothing more than that. Just an annoyance I have to deal with. Then again, I could cancel the match due to lack of interest from my part. I do have that power. But, you know, I actually feel like blowing off some steam. I guess kicking the living lights out of you could be good for me. It'd be like going to the gym, really. Except that the punching bag won't be hard at all to hit. I imagine that hitting you would be like cutting through butter. Soft and easy. You spend so much time on hair and make-up, I'm surprised you can even find the time to keep in shape.

Pukey, I know you're seething right now after hearing me speak the truth about you and expose your incredible lameness to the world. You dress like a clown and you prefer to invest money in ridiculous over the top stage crap rather than going to a hairdresser or at least investing in a comb, you threaten your opponents with shit that you can't possibly deliver and you've lost to a woman who can't even speak proper english and let alone put up a decent fight. Yet, you still believe you're hot shit. You do realise that makes you like the biggest douchebag in the fed, right? You're like an airhead bimbo who can't get why the jock of her dreams can't give her the time of day. You are the annoying character of a TV series or a movie that the audience wants to see get fucking killed off. You were incapable of defeating Ursula... You think you stand a chance against me? God, if you actually do believe Ursula is better than me then you are going to be very shocked come Madness. I wipe the fucking floor with that bitch. And since that bitch won't be there... I guess I'll just use you instead.

Boom.

~|~ The Deadliest Weapons Will Bring Your End ~|~

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