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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
What These Bitches Want From a Nickles?
Author Message
Charlie Nickles Offline
The Nickleman



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
04-13-2021, 04:50 AM



The shot opens with Charlie Nickles standing next to a bald man who is most certainly not Jim Jimson. The two men are standing next to a fancy blue car that looks so expensive you have no idea what it even is. The bald man is dressed in a Hawaiian t-shirt and cargo shorts. He stands a few meters back and to the left of Charlie, who is still dressed in his sweaty pinstripe jumpsuit. A wicked beat starts to pump through your speakers as Charlie pulls a sidearm from his waistband and begins to point it around as he skips, hops, and dances to the tune.

As the beat drops Charlie and the bald man who honestly looks almost nothing like Jim Jimson break into a harmonious melody.

Yo, what these bitches want from a Nickles?
Vinnie Trill, you know what I'm sayin? What these bitches want from a Nickles?
Hmm
(Fuck Dolphins, DDS break em off,) what these bitches want from a Nickles?
Break em off, some
Ay yo! Dog, I beat bitches, mediocre or elite bitches
Street bitches, slash, Grangerland sweet bitches
(what?)
Make you wanna eat bitches, but not me
Y'all BoBbies eat off Page’s plate all you want but not me
(uh)
I fuck with these hoes from a distance
The instant they start to catch titles
I start to stealin' they shit
Then I'm out just like a thief in the night
I sink my teeth in to bite
You thinkin' you holdin’ it for life, I'm thinkin' more like, you’re losin’ it tonight
Come on Page, you know I got a wife
And even though your pussy tight I'm not gon' jeopardize my life (aight?)
So what is it you want from a Nickles? (what?)
I gave you three, you gave me six, bitch, I blazed you, you couldn’t blaze me (c'mon)
Nothin' more, nothin' less, but you at my door
Willin' to confess that it's the best you ever tested
Better than all the rest, I'm like, "Aight Page, hold up
I gave you more than you gave me fool, so nut up (f'real)"

What these bitches want from a Nickles? What you want (what you want)
What these bitches want from a Nickles? Really want
What these bitches want from a Nickles?
He's been keepin' you up on it
Trash talkin’, in his promos he flaunts it,
Ay yo, tell me what you want from me
Baby tell me what you want from me! (what you want?)

There was Ozzy, Fury, Andre, Calypso(okay)
Ned Kaye, Boris, and Fantasia(ooh)
Sportsman, Myst, Granger, Barney (uh-huh)
Bourbon, Azrael, Greggo, Atara (damn)
Reggie Estrada, well I saved his daughter from being trafficked at an ice cream parlor(aight?)
Scarlet, Von Bonn, Brian Storm, and then Ned again (okay)
Gilmour (uh) Carnes (uh) Marf (uh) Legend (uh)
TeeKay three times(what?) and Lycana (WHOO!)
Ruckus, Future, Kinkade, Dean Rose (uh-huh)
Liam Roberts, Lynx, Diesel, Tommy Wish (damn!)
Dallas Marshall, EDWARD, and Miss Fury Again (what?)
Terry Borden (what?) Micheal Graves, and Sebastian Duke (what?)
Were all beaten fairly but yet and still
Bitches is on some other shit now that I'm fuckin' wit Page’s hill
But I'ma keep it real
(what?)

What the fuck you want from a Nickles? (c'mon)
What the fuck you want from a Nickles? (c'mon)
What these bitches want from a Nickles? Really want
What these bitches want from a Nickles? Really want
What these bitches want from a Nickles?

He's been keepin' you up on it
Trash talkin’, in all his promos he brought it,
Ay yo, tell me what you want from me
Baby tell me what you want from me! (what you want?)


Ay yo, I think about when a Nickles didn't have (yeah)
And when Nickles worked a shoot, and the bitches didn't like
See now I do the math, I see if you got this
Right now you got the belt so some cats think that Page is the shit
(aight?)
And that's all they fuckin' with, but see these bitches don't know
If these bitches ain't for real, these bitches don't go
Knock on the door, I won’t no show but I'm sleep tryin' to creep
Wit yo' best friend, put it in, dig deep
(let Robert talk to em for a minute)


A very small yet stout woman walks into the frame from the left side of the screen. While she doesn’t stand a hair above four feet her midsection and thighs are both quite large. She’s dressed in black jeans and a white blouse with minimal chest coverage. A comically large Robert Main mask jostles around on top of her head as she walks next to Charlie.

Oh I know I know it's so hard to be, a victim of my reality
Heard you callin' me names, said I was trife
One thing you gotta know, I'ma be a Nickles fan for life yeah!


What these bitches want from a Nickles? What you want (what you want)
What these bitches want from a Nickles? Really want
What these bitches want from a Nickles?
He's been keepin' you up on it
Trash Talkin’, Page ain’t got it
Ayo, tell me what you want from me
Baby tell me what you want from me! (what you want?)
What these bitches want from a Nickles?What you want (what you want)
What these bitches want from a Nickles?Really want
What these bitches want from a Nickles?
He's been keepin you up on it
Trash talkin’, ‘contradictions’ but Page won’t taunt it
What these bitches want from a Nickles?
Ay yo, tell me what you want from me
Baby tell me what you want from me! (So what you want?)


“Cut! Great job everyone! Especially you, Charlie!”

The beat is cut off as everyone on screen stops dancing. The small woman and the bald man both look at Charlie Nickles as if awaiting further instruction. The bald man’s sweating head betrays his anxiety. Charlie looks down at the short woman in the Omega mask with a warm smile.

“You hear that, Waifu? Jeffy thinks you did a great job! Now why don’t you head back to the boiler room and get yourself cleaned up. Keep the mask on, but lose the pants!”

Charlie bends waaaaaay down to slap the tiny woman on the ass. She nods her head at Charlie before blowing him a kiss through her mask. She walks out of frame as Charlie calls out an additional command.

“Polish my armor while you wait for me! I like my loathestone shiny!”

As the small woman walked off screen Charlie turned around to face the bald man in the sweat drenched Hawaiian shirt.

“Get the fuck out of the shot! I have a promo to do!”

The bald man immediately tries to sprint off screen to the left. His arms tuck into his waist before shooting out just as his legs start to churn. The man makes it halfway across the screen before Charlie Nickles points the firearm at him and empties what sounds like the entire clip into him. The man’s body slumps to the ground with his upper torso out of the frame. A pool of blood begins to congeal underneath the man’s body. A slew of screams rings out from behind the camera. Charlie Nickles points the firearm into the air and releases an additional shot before he turns around to face the hostage production crew.

“He got what was coming to him! He was playing Jim, and Jim deserves to die for leaving me here! Now get back to your posts so we can film my promo! The last one to their spot is the next one going IN THE FUCKING GROUND!”

Nickles lets a few more shots fly into the air as the panicked crew members scramble to get back to their equipment. You may be starting to think that Charlie Nickles has unlocked the infinite ammo mod just before the camera zooms in on his upper body. Nickles immediately begins to cut a scathing promo.

"I’m letting Theo and Vinnie down? Good. That’s always the goal. Those cuckolds get their asses creamed by Miss Fury so often that it’s no surprise they can barely feel my presence in this match. Of course, a woman can always buy a larger one…..

Oh, am I letting the fans down too? Even better. I can’t stand those sniveling shits. ‘Can I get an autograph, can my kid get a photo, will you add me on snapchat’.....the fans are the worst part of this sport. If I could wrestle empty arena shows for the rest of my life I would. You and Demos are two peas in a pod on this issue. You both give way too many fucks about what those irrelevant voyeurs in the stands think. Demos is trying to save them, you’re trying to impress them, same shit to me. The only fucks you’re supposed to give to fans happen in your hotel room after the show! Not in your little promotional videos, and certainly not inside the ring.

Ahhhh these little clips we make for the fans. I wouldn’t even waste my time with this promotional nonsense if I didn’t know that my words would throw you into such a tizzy. This is all just fun and games, but still people like Chris Page think these media ads are somehow the nuts and bolts of our industry. Newsflash, Page: you can’t bring your documentary footage and audio recordings to the ring with you on Saturday!

Some people only care about the fame. People like Chris Page only care about the views, the clicks, the likes: but views, clicks, and likes don’t win matches in this business! Ask Ned Kaye how much his promotional material helped him in the battle royale. He wasted thousands of dollars making a video game to get all the fans behind his little switcheroo. Ask Johnny Legend how much his promotional material helped him when he had to stand toe to toe with me. That senile sack of bones wasted his entire 401k on a CGI cat that the children all thought was ‘really cool’. And now where is he? Wandering down some backroad highway aimlessly, a victim of one too many Screwdrivers and Drops courtesy of yours truly.

At least Chris Page isn’t wasting any money on his podcast recordings, but does he really want to walk in their shoes?

Both men won accolades for their promotional materials against lil’ ol’ Charlie. They had the biggest hype trains of the whole month after their promo efforts! And what did it get them? Busted spines and bruised egos. You want to be next in line, Chris? Keep promoting yourself to the nines. All the promotion, all the hype, all the expectation in the world can’t shield you from my blows inside that ring. You think the fans are so in love with your promos they’re going to jump the barricades and free you from my Charlie Crossface? I wouldn’t count on it!

This is professional WRESTLING, not professional promoting. This is exactly why you’re never going to go down in history as one of the greatest of all time: you’re too caught up in weaving a narrative that you forget to make history. But words are just words. The facts will speak for themselves on April 17th.

But Chris, don’t you ever deign to speak for me.

You think I’ve let myself down because I haven’t made more youtube videos dedicated to you?"


Charlie shakes his head from side to side as he purses his lips.

"Disappointed in myself? I have finally freed myself from the shackles of communist oppression! I’ve taken control of the Steubenvilla, I’ve armed myself to the teeth, and I have a date with destiny this week! All I have to do to win the universal championship is figure out how the hell I get out of Montero, but I’m thinking Demos can help me with that when he gets back here…."

Charlie chuckles heartily as he cocks back the hammer on his smith and wesson sidearm.

"Either way, Chris Page’s reign is never going to touch Main’s. Or Soldier’s. Or Lux’s. Or Fuzz’s. If he thinks he’s already exceeded the slew of benchmarks set by previous champions in 2019 and 2020 he’s on a whole nother kind of high than the one he likes to admit. Hey Chris, clean off my crack pipe when you’re done using it, okay?

But seriously Chris, I think you need to start laying off the heavy stuff. I know that’s rich coming from the XWF’s most notorious meth addict, but you’ve absolutely shot up too much if you think you’re the “longest reigning universal champion since Robert Main back in two thousand nineteen”! First off you smack whore, you haven’t even held your belt for 90 days. Unknown Soldier held the chip for 92 days. Warstein held that chip for twice as long as you’ve held it. When I snatch it off of you I’m going to hold it for three times as long as you did just to spite you.

Do you want to talk about real record setting reigns now, Page? Ones that have already been written into the history books?

Let’s talk Charlie fuckin’ Nickles and the television championship. I was the main TV attraction for 134 days! I Iced every single human’s reign that came before mine. Some of the best of the best held the TV belt down for a long time, but none of them could even sniff the tailend of my reign from where they finished! And trust me, the tailend of my reign is smelly. Demos took a big fat diarrhea dump all over my accomplishments.

But still: Drew Archeyle, Noah Jackson, Theo Pryce, Chris Chaos, Jim Caedus, none of them could make that gold shine for as long as I did. I should’ve held that bitch forever…..

But Chris Page is a nitpicker, isn’t he? He wants to know what Charlie’s definition of the modern era is. Well Chris: pick any damn definition you want! They’ll all fit! Longest television reign since Dolly Waters brought the belt back in 2016. Longest television reign since Theo Pryce purchased ownership shares with his blood money. Longest television reign of the Saturday Night Savage era. Longest television reign since Vinnie Lane stopped wrestling and started playing God with our careers. My reign checks all of those boxes!

And if you can swallow the bitter pill that Azrael’s reign is illegitimate and alien to our human traditions, then you can go ahead and put me down as the longest reigning television champion of all time. Ever. The greatest human to ever sling the television belt over his shoulder.

I made that gold shine so bright that now even the lowly and supposedly awful Marf is main eventing over Chris Page."

Charlie chuckles as he rolls his eyes. He tucks the weapon into the waistband of his pinstripe jumpsuit as he carries on his monologue.

"Chris Page never does have his facts straight, does he? Of course that shouldn’t surprise anyone. With how much Dixon and Main cock he gargles in his promos it should be no surprise that Page can’t keep anything straight inside his head.

I’m not in Betsy Granger’s league, huh, buddy boy? I guess someone forgot to tell Betsy! She was laying on her back looking up at me in awe when we last rumbled around in the ring. Her and Atara both, I had those bitches choking on mud all night long! They looked so sexy in those little bikinis. I bet every time they scratched their yeast infections they thought of the jolly good time I had with them that night.

That was a swing and a miss from you, Chris! You oughta buy a ticket to the Steubenvilla Theater, I think they’re airing that very victory all week! Of course, I don’t think you could find your way to Montero. Navigation and interpretation aren’t exactly your strong suits, are they? Never fret: I’ll give you the 3D experience in Bridgeport this Saturday night."

Charlie Nickles chuckles as his right hand comes up to stroke his bearded chin.

"You really don’t know where Montero is, do you, Chris Page? It’s crazy where they can put XWF cameras nowadays, isn’t it?

I think everyone BUT you knows exactly where Montero is, champ. You should probably ask somebody where I am, what I’m doing, and exactly how you can get to this pinnacle before you sling mud at an error that never went on the umpire’s scorecards.

The XWF is a kooky place, Chris. You better get used to it. We’ve got a lot of zany characters on the roster. We have aliens, impossible travelers, murderous cultists, and even a universal champion so doped up he can’t see the
landmines and traps he’s stepping in!"

Charlie places his hand on his gut as a guffaw lifts his beer belly up and down. He pretends to wipe a tear away with his firearm holding hand.

"You crack me up, Chris Page. You won’t piece me up or break through my defense, but you sure do crack me up! Do you really in your heart believe that you give the XWF more credibility than it’s had in a decade? Pfffffft you’re blowing smoke up your own ass! You’re not supposed to boof the bong, boy!

You’re a more credible champion right now than Robert Main on his 268th day? Your reign bestows more legitimacy than Trax’s 150 day stay at the top? These last two months have been more noteworthy than The Engineer’s nearly year long run with the gold?

Yeah right Chris. Go smoke a few more blunts so you can figure out the next dumbass thing you’re going to try to pass off as a fact."

“Should I roll the clip now?”

Charlie’s demeanor shifts quickly into anger as Jeffy speaks up from the production set.

“YES! READ THE FUCKING SCRIPT!”

“Ok ok, I’m sorry! I’m putting it up now!”


Quote:Poppin Bottles

Andre Dixon- “If that is not the damn truth I do not know what is.”

Chris Page: "For over ten years we go back, and now that you have shown the world where your loyalties are… and you made the right choice. Some might say that you coming in losing to Corey and falling short in the second chance Battle Royale is enough to kill off whatever hype you have for yourself, but to those people I want you to say to them as politely as you can to go fuck themselves. You are the future of not on this Profession, but you are the future of BoB.”

"Look it’s hard to make out exactly WHAT that Chris Page was trying to say. All that smoke and dried up jizz in his mouth makes it really fucking hard to piece out exactly what the hell he’s trying to say. But I’m pretty sure he was -trying- to say that Andre Dixon is the future of not only this profession, but also of BoB!

But now Chris Page is going back on them there gargled words. Now he’s saying Andre Dixon isn’t the future of wrestling, but he’s the present of wrestling! Wow, I wonder when that happened! It’s just been a few short weeks! Was it beating John Black that put Dixon over the edge? Huh, either way it’s pretty nifty to have a victory over the best wrestler in the world on my stat sheet.

Oh, Chris Page doesn’t think the win counts because it didn’t happen in singles competition? Huh, I wonder why Chris Page is so quick to pretend that battle royales aren’t sanctioned matches. A real thinker, that one."


Charlie scratches his bearded chin as he looks off into the distance. He runs with the bit for a few seconds before looking back into the camera.

"But shit, good for Andre Dixon! Best wrestler on earth since he beat John Black, according to Chris Page. What’s even crazier about Andre’s quick ascent is that John Black ain’t even the realest G in his own crew! Reggie Estrada- now that’s the motherfuckering Thug everybody really oughta watch out for. I beat him, no problem, of course. But shiiiit Robert Main just wasn’t so lucky! I bet Chris Page’ll tell you that Main’s X-treme reign was so, so, sooooo legendary. But hell if Main’s reign was legendary, what’s that say about the soil that gave birth to his reign and the earthquake that sent his reign crumbling to the ground?"

Charlie looks at the camera questioningly as if expecting an answer.

"Ah, right, Chris Page isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. He’s not exactly proficient with metaphors. Hey Chris, I’ll spell it out for you this time: Reggie Estrada is the motherfucking soil and the motherfucking quake! He’s the bookends to Robert’s X-treme run. It took you months of hard work, determination, plotting, scheming, and nutlicking to get one over on Robert Main.

It took Reggie Estrada three seconds.

Do you ever think that maybe you work a bit too hard to accomplish things that aren’t especially impressive? There’s some legitimacy there, I won’t deny it, but the way you wax on and on about it isn’t befitting it’s glory. You don’t see two time X-treme champion Reggie Estrada out here gabbing off about how easily he kept Robert’s shoulders down. A feat you, of course, never seem to be able to accomplish."


Charlie Nickles used his firearm to brush some stray strands of hair out of his eyes before pointing the gun at someone off camera.

"Play the clip of Drew and Robert beating Chris Page!"

Quote:CCP finally reaches the kendo stick and grabs hold of it, using it to plant and force himself back to his feet. He turns around slowly, ready to swing… but Robert Main is waiting!

DEAD!

MANS!

HAND!


Robert Main with the cover!

ONE!

TWO!!!

THREE!!!

CHRIS PAGE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY ROBERT MAIN

WINNERS: THE APEX PROPHECY
(ROBERT MAIN, DREW ARCHYLE, CENTURION, JAMES RAVEN)

The screen goes black for a few seconds as the clip rolls to it's end.

"Roll the next fucking clip, Jeffy!"

"Sorry!"


Quote:Chris Page: “Pressure is something that is a completely different beast to handle, you cracked and you failed. Point blank period. Does not matter how much offense you got, does not matter if you were inches or miles away from a victory because there’s a “w” by my name and an “l” besides yours.”

"Don't fucking ask me when Drew beat you, Pissy Page. Lay off the hypocrisy and feigned foolishness or else I’ll have to beat it out of you!

But while we’re on the subject of foolishness, Chris, why don’t I just go ahead demystify a couple of things for you so you stop sounding so absolutely uninformed every time you run your jaw.

My whore wife? My ugly kids? I don’t give a fuck about them. They can be bound, gagged, and sliced open for all I care. They deserve nothing less for leaving me to rot in Montero! In fact, when I get out of here, I might just head home and give them the Dahmer treatment myself!

And if I’ll do that to my own flesh and blood, Chris Page, just what do you think I’ll do to you inside that squared circle? We’re all in for a gorey good time when you saunter down to that ring on Saturday night.

Chris Page will swagger down that entrance ramp with his head in the clouds, his lungs weak with ganga, and his arms sore from the track marks. I know what it’s like to wrestle a match when you’re zonked out of your mind. It isn’t easy and it isn’t fun. But what choice does Chris Page have? He can’t live life without the high, so he’ll have to learn to live life without the universal championship.

I used to be that way. But I haven’t had my fix in months. Despite my best efforts, there is no meth in Montero. During my first few weeks here I hated life. I craved the needle. I thought I needed it.

But now?

Now I can look at my life with a sober eye.

I don’t need the drugs to be happy.

I just need Chris Page’s championship belt!"

Charlie stares intently into the camera for nearly half a minute. His jaws are slightly agape as deep breaths roll in and out through his open mouth. A small amount of white froth begins to fizzle down the left side of Charlie’s bottom lip.

"On Saturday night, Chris Page…."

Charlie Nickles brought the smith and wesson up to his lips before speaking softly. Charlie looked down at the handgun with determination.

"Your ass is grass.

Let’s smoke up, brother!"

Charlie blew a soft gust of air over the tip of the sidearm as the screen faded to black.


[Image: 27J5l3J.png]
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