ALIAS
Space Jesus
XWF FanBase:
The IWC
(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
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Joined: Sat Oct 24 2020
Posts: 441
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Hates Received: 25 in 24 posts
Hates Given: 31
Hates Received: 25 in 24 posts
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03-29-2021, 02:27 AM
![[Image: YsiIkga.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/YsiIkga.jpg)
”Oink oink oink! Oink oink oink oooiiinnnnkkk oink oiinnkk oiinnkk oink oiinnkk oink oink oiink!”
“This is it! This is my opportunity to finally extract my revenge on the world!”
Hotdog lazily rolled onto his side. The sun beamed in through the window, the heat magnifying through the glass and warming his belly.
”Oink oiinnkk oink oink ooiiinnkk ooiiinnkk Oink Oink oink oink oink oink oink ooiiinnnkk oink oink oink oink oiink. Oink oink! Oink oink oink oink. Oink oink oink ooiiinnnkk oink oiinnk oink oiinnk ooiiinnnkk oink oiink-oiink oiink oiinnk oink oiink. Oink oink? Oink oink, oink oink!”
“I was created by the nefarious scientist Ned Kaye as part of a sick experiment to take over the world. But alas! His plan went awry. He had not considered the number of people converting to plant-based diets across the world. A fad? My big, fat rump!”
He wriggled in place, digging further into the straw mat he called his spot. His EVIL spot.
”Oink oink oink oink oink oiink oink oiinnk oink oink oink oiink oink oink oiink oiinnk oink oiink’oink oiink oiinnk, oink, ooiinnkk oink oink oink oiinnkk oink ooiinnkk oink oink ooiiinnkk! Oiinnkk, oink oink-oiinnk oiinnkk oiink oink oink oiink ooiinnkk oink! Oiinnkk oink-oink!”
“His plan to use my semen to create a race of super pigs that would infect the world’s bacon supply, thus allowing him to mind control them through me was brilliant! However, the tree-loving hippies taking over the world thwarted us! Goddamn man-buns!”
Hotdog lifted his head. Arching his neck, he swoops his snout over his shoulder. A blowfly buzzes away like a little bitch.
”Oink oink oink oink oink oink oink oink! Oink oiinnk oink oink oiinnkk, Oink oink oink oink oink oiinnk oiink oink oiink oink oink oink oiinnkk oink oiink oink oink oink oink oink ooiiinnnkkk. Oiink oink oink oink oink oiinnk, oink oink - Oink’oink oink oink oink oiink! Oiink oink oiinnk oink oink oiink oink oink-oink oiinnk oink Oink oink oiink oink oink oink oiink oiink oink Ooiiinnkk!”
“But now is the time for my plan! Cast aside by my creator, I can now use my mighty tusks to forge my own path through the world and all of its puny inhabitants. First they will eat my babies, and then - I’ll take over the world! Kings and queens will fall before my even-toed hooves and I will usher in a new world order of Hammunism!”
He rises, stretching his legs and raising large, crooked tusks into the air. The sun catches it and it looks… a bit shit actually.
”Oink oiink oink oink oink ooiinnkk ooiiinnkk oink oink oiink oink oink oink! Oink oink oiinnkk oink oink oiink oink Oiinnk, oink Oink oiink oiinnk oink oink oink oink oiink! Ooiinnkk oink oink ooiiinnk oink oink oink oiink oiink - oink Ooiinnkk oink!”
“I shall be the most diabolic porktator that this world has ever seen! All will worship at the altar of Hotdog, else I shall skewer them with my pork sword! Starting with the marsupial girl and her giant pouch - and Quokkana too!”
Do you have a light?
![[Image: 7qdASxF.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/7qdASxF.jpg)
(Banner courtesy of Atara Themis)
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The following 6 users Like ALIAS's post:6 users Like ALIAS's post
(03-29-2021), Lycana (03-29-2021), Ned Kaye (03-30-2021), Prof. Bobby Bourbon (03-29-2021), R.L. Edgar (03-29-2021), Thunder Knuckles™ (03-29-2021)
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