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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » March Madness 2021 PPV Board
There Is Something Inside of Me
Author Message
Ned Kaye Offline
per cogitabat, per facis
TITLE - Tag Champion



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
03-27-2021, 08:58 PM

(OOC: Unfortunately have to post this early and out of order to get my three RPs out tonight.)



The Nefarious One sits behind a large wooden desk, a wide smile on his face. He cracks his knuckles before leaning back in his chair, propping his feet upon the desk.

"Y'know, I haven't felt like myself lately. It's true! There's just something about having to wait for some goody two-shoes to do his schtick while you're in the wings that'll make a guy…"

"Get a little restless. Like, imagine that you're in a car. A real nice one, we're talking one of those concept cars that never makes it to mass production. This baby can really do things! You start brainstorming about what one could achieve with this vehicle and tremble at the possibilities! And then they put you in the passenger's seat and get someone else to drive while you watch their every movement, wondering if they could ever possibly care about this car more than you. So, when they step on the gas and start driving like a grandma, it's a tad fucking infuriating! This baby should be ignoring intersections, leaving cops in the dust, breaking the goddamn sound barrier and the driver chooses to not take rights on reds! Once the opportunity arose, I did what any sensible person would do and I began to look for any way I could into the driver's seat and all of this is just the unfortunate struggle of pushing old Ned into the trunk. Funny thing about that, though."

"Ned thinks he's going to walk in there and win the battle royal in some sort of grand gesture. And, honestly, he might even be right."

"All things on the table, though, it's not like he's going up against The Brand or anything. Let's be blunt, we're not even talking Tony Santos level. I mean, it's a literal pile of people not good enough on their first tries and some randos who want a lucky break just in case they can disguise themselves as a ref and half-ass their way to getting destroyed later in the night. I'm looking at you, Mr. Dixon! No, I don't give a fuck who trained you. I care more about learning the names of trainers who neglect to teach their dog shake than whatever 40 year old frozen food salesman endorsed your contract. Everyone's lining to pat that sore spot Corey left on your back because "even though you lost, you still looked really good!" Good news for you, I feel charitable enough that if I do get my hands on you that night, you'll look even better losing to me."

"Speaking of losing, Champ Sportsman! You seriously thought coming to another battle royal when the last one you did here shook you off like a bad habit? You are outmatched and that is saying something considering you're in the B-list free-for-all. I know you've been very fixated on lists lately, so I'll just let you know that you're number one on one list and that's people who aren't getting their contracts renewed. Now, instead of wrestling, why don't you go practice your true calling and pass water bottles out to varsity football players."

“But let’s say that somehow Ned makes it past the Second Rate Battle Royal. Hell, maybe they’ll be just enough of him left to keep nagging during the Hart Title match. But once that final match comes along? Well, you’re gonna have to deal with me. So, the following few should hope and pray that Ned doesn’t put me right where I want to be. Because you’re going to have a very crestfallen night if so.”

“Doc! Lots of great things going around about you! I mean, you’ve got such a new twist, right? No? Oh, then you’ve just been a dominant force in your stable! What do you mean you’ve been letting the greenhorns defend your belt while you sit on your ass? Well, then, at the very least, you must have some sort of big maneuver! You play dress up as younger, better athletes than you? Golly, Doc, you sure have been getting stale. Hey, you might as well come out lookin’ like me if you’re hoping your clothes can rub some talent onto you. I wouldn’t be so disappointed, but it’s a little sad seeing everyone so excited to see you dragging your walker to the ring, when you and I both know your best years aren’t just behind you, but that they weren’t that great to begin with. Still, everybody needs a last ride and I’m willing to offer you a herse.”

“Do I hear the violent honking of noses? Could that be the lead driver of the clown car herself?! Oh, Miss Fury, it must be a real damn shame running BoB nowadays. I mean, you don’t have any titles. You HAD them, but you’re BoB, so it wasn’t gonna be a Centurion length title run if you get my drift. Still, I was expecting anything but your sideshow twosome who couldn’t even beat Ned doing little TV sketches while they march their way to another guaranteed BoB blowout. Hell, your organization is diversifying a lot lately! I guess it has to because novelty is really all y’all have to offer. Can’t keep a title, can’t win a match half the time, hell you care more about putting posters together rather than cleaning up your act! And at the ivory tower of the bronze medalists sits you, Fury. Queen of quantity when quality has long left you hanging out to dry. I have no sympathy for you simply because you had ample opportunity not to associate with idiots and you instead scared your entire faction by shaking hands with a stable even lamer than yours. Truly your company suits you.”

“And now we have my very, very special friend, Shawn. I could’ve done this without you, but you really sped up the process! But then you had to go and ruin it with all of these prissy emotions! Man up, Shawn! There’s no reason you should be coming out here like C-3P0 all because you’re a little upset about facing your girlfriend! Hell, you don’t even have the balls to tell her that you have to beat her yourself! Hey, I’m here to be supportive, though and I want you to know that I’m here to make sure you don’t have to spend another million dollars on a hologram when I’ve got a perfect and cost-effective solution!”


The Nefarious One pulls out a See-And-Say with Shawn’s face glued to the front and pulls the cord.

“The cow says: Moo!”

“Very insightful, Shawn! By the way, when I’m done writing the book on your career, I think I’ll use it as a coaster. God knows it won’t be thick enough to even out my dining table.”

“I think that’s everybody. Oh, ho ho ho. Silly me. I guess I am forgetting someone! Right, Charlie?”

“You know, I thought Ned was pretty pathetic, but you? You’re something else, I mean, you were doing everything right! You made it to the XWF on the crumpled back of your broken marriage. You had a title run that was monumental but could never make up for your gross personal failings! Hell, you even beat Ned and made fun of his Mom. I approve!”

“But then you felt bad about it. And you realized that the only way you could feel good about yourself was to pretend to be someone else. So you put on a gaurdian angel facade and went to work acting like a complete doofus, hoping maybe, just maybe redemption was near. The cherry on top? You could have stopped me. You could have believed Ned and helped him to fight me off, the demon that I am, but you didn’t even bother, Char. Too busy focusing on yourself. I’ll be sure to focus lots on you Charlie. Hell, I want the world to see the real you again! Promise you’ll squirm for me?”

"You can't run from yourself."
[Image: riNkNZw.png]
XWF
Wins | Losses | Draws
52 | 37 | 4


Indie Darling Eternal

#33 on The XWF Top 50(2021)
1x Tag Team Champion[with Isaiah King](Current)
2x [Image: CbviDqC.png] (Former)
1x X-Treme Champion(Former)
The Final Supercontinental Champion
1x Television Champion(Former)
Star of the Month - April 2019 | March 2021 | December 2022
RP of the Month - March 2021 (Void of the Mind)
Winner - Leap Of Faith Rafter Match 2019
1x 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Winner - War Games 2023(With Mark Flynn, Isaiah King, & Crash Rodriguez as G00D-B01)


All Time Career(Interfed)
Wins | Losses | Draws
52 | 38 | 4
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