Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-29-2024, 05:05 AM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » March Madness 2021 PPV Board
10 years ago
Author Message
Thunder Knuckles™ Offline
A No Good Bastard



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
03-20-2021, 10:56 PM




The scene opens with a shot ten years ago, of Tadd (25) and Big P, on a beautiful day in the fall, at an outside wedding. With the trees losing their tan and golden leaves to the ground. Today's ceremony is to join Tadd’s father, Walter (58), with his new much younger wife, Leena (25). Everything has been planned out from invitations to the cake. Not one detail or expense has been spared. With the audience seated the officiant comes to the overly extravagant alter placed in the center of the semi-circle seating arrangement. The groom is also standing in front of the altar. The officiant warmly smiles at the crowd of friends and family of the, to be, married couple. “Here comes the bride” plays as everyone rises from their seats. The sounds of happy cries come from most of the women in attendance. The officiant begins to talk as everyone takes a seat when “Here scones the bride” quits playing.


Thank you for being here today as Walter and Leena enter into a lifelong civil union. Today we celebrate the separate journeys that brought them together, and we usher them toward the new journey they will embark upon as partners.



The soon to be married couple seems happy and can't stop looking at one another. The officiant begins to speak once again.


A true lasting marriage requires effort, commitment, and unending respect. As Walter and Leena declare their love on this day, we reflect on the meaning of partnership and its importance to a successful union. Partners, in life, think of one another as teammates, equally capable, but each arriving with their own special skills.

A marriage thrives when each partner chooses to value the other, for everything they are, and for everything they’re not. There is no limit to what a partnership can accomplish when trust and admiration flow abundantly. Today, Walter and Leena acknowledge this with excitement as they prepare to join hands in marriage.

First, a reading of the couple’s choosing.



The officiant reaches into his inner suit pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. He then begins reading Leena and Walter’s chosen literature selection.


Walter and Lenna have chosen a passage from Margaret Atwood's, Habitation, "Marriage is not a house or even a tent it is before that, and colder, the edge of the forest, the edge of the desert the unpainted stairs at the back where we squat outside, eating popcorn the edge of the receding glacier where painfully and with wonder at having survived even this far we are learning to make fire”



The officiant pauses, Walter smiles and looks deeply into Leena’s eyes, as she does the same to him. Then the officiant says to the congregation


Thank you. Do you, as witnesses to this day, support and encourage this union?



The crowd of loved ones and friends all say at the same time, except Tadd.


We do.


The officiant starts the declaration of intent by saying to the couple.


As I guide you in exchanging your vows, you, Walter, and you, Leena will declare your intentions for a lasting partnership in love and marriage. Are you prepared to do this?


Walter and Leena in unison, with loving smiles, still looking into each other's eyes, saying.


Yes.


The officiant looks at both bride and groom, he says to the couple and to the gathering.


Without further ado, let’s begin.


The officiant now looks at Leena with a soft smile.


Repeat after me.

I, Lenna, take you, Walter, to be my husband.


I, Lenna, take you, Walter, to be my husband.

I promise that from this day forward I will regard you not only as my equal partner but as my closest friend.

I promise that from this day forward I will regard you not only as my equal partner but as my closest friend.

I promise to comfort you in sickness and in health. I promise to demonstrate my commitment to you through love, laughter, and compassion. I love you.

I promise to comfort you in sickness and in health. I promise to demonstrate my commitment to you through love, laughter, and compassion. I love you.


The officiant looks over at Walter and with a gentle smile, he says.


I, Walter, take you, Lenna, to be my wife.

I, Walter, take you, Lenna, to be my wife.

I promise that from this day forward I will regard you not only as my equal partner but as my closest friend.

I promise that from this day forward I will regard you not only as my equal partner but as my closest friend.


I promise to comfort you in sickness and in health. I promise to demonstrate my commitment to you through love, laughter, and compassion. I love you.

I promise to comfort you in sickness and in health. I promise to demonstrate my commitment to you through love, laughter, and compassion. I love you.


The officiant looks over to the best man who produces the ting. The officiant then looks back over to the couple and gives instruction.


Please present one another your rings. These rings symbolize the strength of your commitment to this marriage and the love you share.


The couple eagerly exchanges rings. The officiant, who has been all smiles this whole time, speaking delicately, yet forcefully.


By the power vested in me by the great state of Ohio, before your witnesses, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you spiritually and lawfully united. Walter, You may kiss the bride.


Tadd storms out of the wedding but is at the reception hours later. Tadd begins drinking heavily before the toast. Tadd begins to have a flashback.


~~~~~~~~~







Tadd and Leena are drinking in the kitchen of Lenna's soon-to-be home. Lenna is dressed fabulously in a tight red dress, red high heels, a pair of diamond earrings the catch the light every so often and glisten on camera. Tadd is dressed in grey suit trousers, a white dress shirt, no tie, and the top two buttons undone. Walter is out with his friends for his bachelor's party.


So, you and my Dad, huh?

Yeah, I know. It's weird I get it.

More than weird, Leena...

I know, Tadd.

No, I don't think you do. It's just... It's just I've been in love with you since the eighth grade...

Oh, Tadd, Why haven't you ever told me this before.



Tadd pauses for an overly dramatic effect.


I... I don't know.


Lenna slowly leans in, as does Tadd.


I've felt the same way.



Tadd and Lenna passionately kiss and begin to squeeze each other closer. Tadd begins walking with her pressed up against his body, she uses one of her arms to try to guild them to a wall. In doing so she begins knocking off pans and pans from the suspended racks above the island. They begin grinding on each other as the camera slowly pans away with low-key romantic music playing in the background.




~~~~~~~~~


Normally the toast goes to the best man. However, tonight. Tonight I want my son. Who’s mother died a few years ago to do the honors.


As the audience filled the room with applause, Tadd didn't seem pleased with this.


I’ll tell you what you old fucking prick.


The crowd gasps as two people start to take Tadd out of the room, one being Big P.


No, fuck that mother fucker I’l-



Big P, Tadd’s best friend, puts his hand over Tadd’s mouth, as Tadd is being escorted out the door. Big P leaves with Tadd. Walter and Tadd don’t speak again for 11 years. Present-day. Big P is with Tadd at Tadd's home. Tadd, who is now bar verified and a research doctor has been working on a cure for cancer.


How's the cure for cancer coming?

Well, it's cancer, man, but we're close. That's not my concern right now. What is my concern is, who's blackmailing and for what?


Big P comedically shrugs. At that moment the there's a knock at the door.


Will you get that, P?

Sure thing.


Big P gets up from the couch and walks over to the door. Tadd's cell phone rings from across the room, it's on silent, the hum of vibrations is what gets Tadd's attention. Tadd's instinct is to reach for his pocket but saunters over, sees it's Leena, hits the accept call button, and places it to his ear.



Hello?


Tadd's overdramatically acted facial features drop from a smile to concern.


Slow down and quit crying. What's going on?


Your father knows Jacob isn't his son.


He's not?

No... He's yours.


As Tadd is hit with the fact his little brother, only 9 years old with a birthday coming up, is his son. Big P swings open the door of Tadd's home.


Hell-


Big P resembles someone in complete shock, before exclaiming.


Hoggart!


The camera swings slowly behind Big P to reveal Hoggart, Big P's long-lost brother!


[PAUSE]


***PREACH***






Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon are on the set of their upcoming film . Bobby Bourbon is the first to notice the cameraman. Bobby smacks Thunder Knuckles on the arm, which startles Thunder Knuckles before noticing the cameraman, himself.


Hey, fuckers!


Thunder Knuckles waves at the boys he knows are watching.


Not so nice seeing use, huh? Could you have imagined if fucking MorbidMind would have somehow gotten this spot? I mean, Jesus, you fucking overdramatic sniveling bitches could have got to set your goddamn cruise control. As fucking fate would have it. You're stuck with us. Gives me the fucking warm and fuzzies. Nothing makes me fucking feel better than getting a shot of taking out Thad and Corey, on the same goddamn night. Oh, how fucking sweet it'll be. This is the first time we've squared off this way, isn't it, mother fuckers?



Thunder Knuckles puts his right hand in his pocket. When he does it makes a rattling sound, that will be sure to draw Thad's attention.


So, Ol' Thunder Knuckles has been busy with my fucking awesome and a complete fucking killer tag team partner Bobby Bourbon!

Them No Good Bastards

That's right! We've been busy putting out some premium shows and films, for you the XWF fans around the world. Well, Ol' Thunder Knuckles hasn't really got to speak with Jimmy as much as Jimmy would like. Which is all the fucking time. His worthless ass just informed me about a list of the top fifty list of all-time list.

He's just now telling you?


Thunder Knuckles shrugs just short of the time Warstien would hold it, as to not be sued.


He sent me a text. Like last fucking month or some shit. I just now saw it.

Makes sense.

Anyway, turns out, Ol' Thunder Knuckles is ranked twenty-fourth.


Thunder Knuckles's smile is as wide as you've ever seen it.


I'm gonna say that shit again, twenty-fucking-fourth!


Thunder Knuckles beaming with confidence.


All fucking time! That's right, you fucking haters. In one fucking year Ol' Thunder Knuckles became an All-time great. Not only that but to get the spot of my tag team partner Bobby Bourbon. Not that Bobby was kicked off, fuck no! He moved up to spot number mother fucking seven! Them No Good Bastards are a top fifty all-time fucking tag team!


Thunder Knuckles gives Bobby Bourbon a quick no-look "too sweet" finger tap.


Shit, I need to text Jimmy. Fuck! He's going to want to fucking talk about how goddamn important this match is and blah, blah, blah. I don't need that shit in my life! I'll just let Corey talk about all that, it gets his fucking rocks off. All I fucking need to know is where the fuck Corey and Thad placed.


Thunder Knuckles begins texting Jimmy but doesn't stop talking.


Hey, Corey. Have you been paying attention? I figure you like paying so much.


Thunder Knuckles is finished texting.


I mean, for fucks sake, you wasted so much time on it last time. I figure you'll be trying not to look like the much of a fucking tool this time. Right? I sure as fuck hope so. Well, since you're about a Bastard. How about you start paying Them No Good Bastards, rent on those tag titles, huh?



Thunder Knuckles pulls out his phone and check this version of Continuum's bank accounts. Also, still no word from Jimmy about the top fifty list.


Looking at your bank account information.


Thunder Knuckles smirks like a complete asshole.


BOB satellites, damnedest fucking things. Anyway, it doesn't seem like you'll have enough between ya. So we'll be repossessing them in Vegas.


Thunder Knuckles remembers another thing that Corey likes to do and elects to open his mouth about it.


Maybe you can do that other thing you do since we covered the guessing game, and what not, in Bobby's first recorded promo. Oh come on, you know what I'm talking about. Fuck! You know everything!


Thunder Knuckles smiles because he knows lately Corey has been too busy not giving a shit. It shows when he opens his mouth. Even though he's smiling, Thunder Knuckles doesn't miss a beat.


That other fucking thing you do, dawg! Reference people who are much better than you. Which one do you think it'll be Bobby? The virus, the nazi, werewolf, cunt, Grandma Lemon Tits, oh man, I bet it's Lux. That's the one who can make it to the dance. He'll need a Virus or a Lux. I mean, Grandma Lemon Tits is dead, right? Then again, I've fucking seen her die before. Cunt has nine lives. I swear to fucking god.


Thunder Knuckles realizes he's getting off track because he looks back down at his phone and notices Jimmy has texted him back yet.


In the end, Corey's going to say how great he is and how much better he is at sniffing his own shit, than anyone else.


Thunder Knuckles gives his unparalleled, unrivaled, and truly remarkable jerking-off hand gesture.


So, let's just move right a-fucking-long to Thaddeus goddamn Duke. Former universal champion in the house! Everyone look! It's Duke! Duke Nation in the house!



Thunder Knuckles looks around on the set of and no one gives a shit.


I'd have to say I didn't expect that. I expected someone to say something. Nope, guess that's what happens when you waste your time with jobbers. God fucking knows when we were in that match with Salt and Pepper, no one batted a fucking eyelash. Fickle is the fucking fans, am I right? Duke. Nah, I bet you're really glad Them No Good Bastards could show up and make your fucking name mean something again, even if it's short fucking lived. You're looking at the next tag team champions boys. You just don't know it yet. We're just warming up. Unlike the tag champs who got a little time off before they met us, Them No Good Bastards. Unless Duke considers what he did on Warfare work. Then that's on him. See we were proving to the fucking XWF fans around the world that we deserve to be here, at this moment, to face you Cuntinuum.


Thunder Knuckles still looking like an arrogant prick.


Oh, calm your fucking tits, Duke. I'll put more spotlight on you. God fucking knows how much you love it. Every one knows every slap Bobby Bourbon gives you is a fucking finisher. If you didn't already fucking know that by now. You'll sure as fuck learn it this time. When we send your ass back down the tag team ranks with your whole wall of fucking heroes. By the way, there's a tournament coming up on Warfare. Yeah, yeah, tag-team turmoil or some shit. You should probably sign up for it! You know, as a contingency plan. Unless you're that fucking confident that you walk out of March Madness the tag team champions, which that would be a goddamn mistake. After-fucking-all, it does determine the pecking order. Don't get me wrong fuckers I don't give a shit if you lose your spot in line. Hell, the fuck no! I'm just warning you that we're walking out the fucking winners of our goddamn tornado tag match at March Madness the new XWF tag team champs. The XWF has had to put up with fuckers as champs by default Now they have options and the only real option is pretty fucking clear. The tag team that works together, bleeds together and promos together. Them No Good Bastards.


Thunder Knuckles reaches back into his pocket and the rattling noise happens again.


You know what?


Thunder Knuckles pulls out a bottle of Percocet.


Hey, Duke. I'll tell ya what. Take a few of these and call me.


Thunder Knuckles smirks knowing Thaddeus knows exactly what he is referring to. Thunder Knuckles has warmed up the XWF fans around the world and motions for Bobby to take the floor.


It's all yours but take it slow and remember they're just kids.

Bobby snortles at the mention.

There are a thousand things I could say that could be said a thousand times before.

How I owned Thad Duke.

Lock, stock, and barrel.

But I'll leave that to my opponents. I mean, I totally just did myself, but I figure they'll talk about it.

I could bring up how Corey and Thad are going to approach this match like it's the last time we faced Continuum for the tag team titles. Some bullhorned up version of 'same result every time' or whatnot when the factors are different this time around.

The last time was the debut of TNGB.

That's right, the first time ever anybody saw the OFFICIAL debut of Us No Good Bastards, it was to take the fight to Continuum on pay per view, at Snow Job. Lambeau Field, the thousands in attendance in parks, ski bibs, and hats, half of them grilling brats in the parking lot before the show. I would know, we were there with the tailgaters before the show! It was fucking delicious, there were lamb chops, kielbasa, bratwurst, all the meats grilled and delicious across the parking lot.

Then we fucking tore the house down and watched as Marf got pinned by Doc.

Lucky us, no Marf in this match. No Doc, either.

Afterward, after that show, we went out and tailgated some more. Brisket. Salmon. Trout. Feasting with the XWF faithful, partying on the pavement.

We went and lost to Betsy Granger and Atara. Everybody has lost to Betsy Granger so far this year though, so go figure. Besides, there were some goofy ass circumstances in that shit.

Then we went and crushed Pepper and ground up Salt in the most electrifying match on Warfare this decade. We went and busted up Mastermind and Morbid Angel after they had the gall to challenge for the tag team championships days after we did. We called for a rematch, we wanted the rematch, they stepped in and said they wanted to do business their way instead.

The way I see it, it's B.O.B.'s way or the highway and if you're taking the highway, you're on a unicycle and I'm a fucking semi.

So we showed Morbid and Mastermind how we do business at Warfare, after they wanted to kick start the action by jumping us. Would have been the most brilliant, most deliberately genius win in history if only it fucking worked. Instead, me and TK, we've been through the slog together, a few times around. We've seen shit that would turn most people completely insane.

Hell, Corey's been past the brink a few times, seems like someone can't handle their psychoses all that well. I just have one face.


Bobby tugs at his mask.

This one. Always has been. The big bop-a-loo in the ring, throwing down bombs with a home run ball offense, the tenacity of a feral snapping turtle, the iron will of the strength of the cosmos itself, the might of the atom, thermonuclear warfare in the form of the promised end, the Bobbybomb.

Until we need to destroy galaxies when worlds won't be enough. When an empire is so great that it spans the stars, that it infringes on the universe itself, when the threat of sheer dominance looms over all of existence, that's when Them No Good Bastards go into freedom fighter mode, intergalactic space pirates we be...


What the fuck?

TK looks baffled.

You're a fucking intergalactic space god damned pirate!

Yaarrrrr!!

TK looks intense having just found out he's a fucking intergalactic space god damned pirate.

See the whole space opera ends with us firing up the engines. Setting the atomic batteries to power. Aligning the arrays into focus, pinpointing that one sweet destructive moment in time that fractures the very fabric of reality itself with a spark and a dash so swift and purely chaotic that it rivals the Big Bang in terms of sheer volume of energy output, when we need to just flat the fuck out end your asses, we unleash the Rainbow Laser Death Sequence.

Now less of a novelty since people started buying our merch! Go figure, we sell shirts, tickets, and pay per view buys, our move gets stronger. Funny how that happens in this business. I guess we just perfected the maneuver, honed it, worked on it.

Did it to Morbid Angel. That was NOT easy. That dude weighs as much as a horse.

Did it to Mastermind. That was actually way easier.

Fuck, Corey just barely escaped from it last time he got hit. It was nuts, for the next several minutes, after the shock had traveled all the way from the heel to his brain, he was telling the referee to call him Lux and to play his music for him.


Thunder Knuckles feels a vibration in his left pocket. He reaches in and grabs his phone and looks at his incoming text messages. Thunder Knuckles then blurts out.

HA! Bobby! You'll never believe this shit! Jimmy says those loser mother fuckers aren't even top fifty all-time! Oh, shit, my bad big guy, continue.

That said, Corey, Thad, you're going to have to bring some new heat to the table when you come.

We're not the bullies here. I get that y'alls defense mechanisms are set to eleven, seek and destroy, but that's because TK and I are to be feared.

We're what the boys in the back talk about when they want to scare one another.



[Image: brofade.gif]
Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 11 users Like Thunder Knuckles™'s post:
(03-23-2021), "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (03-21-2021), Andre Dixon (03-21-2021), Atara Raven (03-21-2021), Corey Smith (03-21-2021), Doctor Louis D'Ville (03-21-2021), Lycana (03-21-2021), Miss Fury (03-21-2021), Prof. Bobby Bourbon (03-21-2021), R.L. Edgar (03-21-2021), Theo Pryce (03-21-2021)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)