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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » March Madness 2021 PPV Board
Talkin' Ish Ep. 1
Author Message
Jenny Myst Offline
The Queen of X-Treme



XWF FanBase:
Very random

(heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)


#1
03-20-2021, 07:02 PM

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After the banner for the show appears on the screen, the camera cuts to Jenny who is sitting with her headphone's on in a fancy radio studio. She has a pink Cotton Candy Bang Energy Drink next to her and a picture--though we can't quite make out what it is of--propped up by the mic stand. The intro music ends and Jenny smiles into the microphone.

"Hellllllllllllllooooooo Las Vegas! So good to be back in my hometown and kicking off my new show right here in the land of Sun, Fun and Thieves! This is going to be a fun show tonight but due to contractual obligations I have to get this out of the way first......."

She clears her throat.

"This show is brought to you by RMI Entertainment and B.O.B. This is an XWF99 EXCLUSIVE broadcast, sanctioned and signed off on by the executive powers that be".

She rolls her eyes and takes a sip.

"Now that we got all that out of the way, lets take some fun calls! I don't wanna bore you all with a long monologue to open up.....I wanna get your opinions first!"

She presses the phone log button.

"CALLER #1, YOU'RE ON THE AIR!!!!!!"

Caller: Hi Jen! This is Katie from Massachusetts! I have been following you since 2017 and I have to say I am SOOOO happy to be on here with you!"

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"Ditto. What's your question, Katie?!"

CALLER: "You've seen and done a lot, and are very open about your life. But....what I wanna know is.....what is one thing about you that people don't know that you think they would be shocked to find out?"

"OHHHH, solid question Katie. Umm....Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician."

She laughs to herself. Rather hysterically.

The caller laughs also, though, more awkwardly.


CALLER : "But like....culturally.....I mean, its 2021 now. You have to be culturally aware these days. You travel a lot to a lot of different cities and even countries for XWF. Have you ever experienced culture shock?"

"My first experience with culture shock was probably when I peed on an electric fence."

Again she laughs. As does the caller.

She cuts off Katie and takes the next one.

CALLER: Some people would go as far as to say that you've become addicted to being champion, addicted to the limelight and the fame.....would this be an accurate assessment?

Again, Jenny ducks the question.

"I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around."

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Jenny laughs at loud at one of her corny jokes. She cracks herself up sometimes.

CALLER: You ever been told that you suffer from insanity?

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

She hits the button to go to the next caller.

"You're on Talkin' Ish with Jenny Myst! What's up, got a question?!"

CALLER: "Yeah this is Mike from Tennessee, glad to be on with ya! Jenny....I gotta know, what’s the weirdest smell you have ever smelled?"

Jenny takes a moment to think this over, and then leans into the mic.

"Charlie Nickles' body odor. It's like Satan's asshole chugged a pint of asparagus piss. I think I lost the match, honestly, because I was too focused on holding my bile down the entire time. Dude legit smells like used hockey equipment and doesn't even care. Weird flex, but it works, I guess."

She clicks the button for the next caller.

CALLER: "Melissa from New York and I am curious, what’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen?"

"OHHHHHHHHHH this is a good one! I think about this all the time! Whenever I am traveling for XWF, the first thing I do when I get to a coffee shop or lobby is look at all the different Wi-Fi's! I would say....hm.....the best one I have seen? Gosh, there are a couple. The LAN Before Time was a good one. It Burns When IP. Bill Wi, The Science Fi. That's just to name a few."

The caller laughs.

"Those are great. But, I gotta ask, what is yours at home?"

"Abraham Linksys. And when Sarina and I are rooming together, its 2 Girls, 1 Router."

Jenny laughs to herself again. She is enjoying this show far too much.

The next caller, however, had a more serious question.


CALLER: "So we know you have this rivalry with Betsy and the big match coming up at the Pay Per View, but does it muddy things up a little knowing that she is also RMI? And do you feel a bit disrespected that Tommy would go out and sign your biggest nemesis to the same label?"

Jenny's face changed, her lip twitched a little, but after a deep breath she smiled again and answered as calmly as she could.

"I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila."

A small silence.

"But for realz....no....no it's not an issue for me. I think he is doing what is best for business. She is the champ, she's been on a run lately. But, most notably, she has beaten me. She wouldn't be nearly as popular if it weren't for her rivalry with me. She wouldn't be nearly as much of a commodity if she didn't strike while the iron was hot and take down the number one woman in professional wrestling. So, by default, does that make her number one? Sometimes the chase is more thrilling than being chased. She feels the pressure, for sure, but the question is, can I capitalize? I guess we shall see. Just because we are both RMI doesn't mean I have to like her. Cuz I don't."

Jenny clicks the caller off in a huff, but takes a sip of her drink and a few deep breaths brings that Million Dollar Smile back.

"People....listen. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end. People all week long have been asking if I am struggling with this slump. I mean, I think you'd have to be a mongoloid to think I am not. I needed to look deep down and make a change. Change is inevitable—except from a vending machine. You have to survive and adapt, it's the rules of March Madness. I haven't done either in recent weeks. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory and my conscience is as dirty as any in the business today. I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort."

She smiles through her serious face.....

"Let's take another caller."

She hits the button.

"How do you feel about putting pineapple on pizza?"

"To be frank, I think it makes you a communist. Fruit on pizza? I mean....come on."

CALLER: You know pizza has tomato sauce....tomato's are a fruit....."

"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. There just some things you don't do. One of them is not joining B.O.B, the other is mixing fruit with warm cheese."

She clicks for the next caller.

CALLER: "You mentioned knowledge. My parents and teachers always used to use the phrase 'Knowledge is power'. I used to love that phrase! But hated it at the same time, ya know? You seem like a knowledgeable girl and you're clearly an icon.....do you have a message for the young kids out there who may be listening or the young girls who want to be just like you?"

Jenny seems a bit taken aback by this.

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"Are you calling me a role model for young girls out there?"

CALLER: I would say so, yes.

"Life's like a bird. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems. But it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Always borrow money from a pessimist. They won't expect it back. Letting go of a loved one can be hard. But sometimes, it's the only way to survive a rock climbing catastrophe."

The caller cuts her off.....

CALLER: "Ummmm.....this was supposed to be an informative, inspirational message for the children. I think you, young lady, have an attitude problem."

"I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. Do you know what kinda show this is? Who exactly you are on the line with? Look....okay.....I don't wanna get all Glenn Beck 'GET OFF MY PHONE YOU LITTLE PINHEAD' on you....so let me say this then......as real as possible.......knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil."

She smiles again, clicking off the caller before they could get another word in.

"That message brought to you by B.O.B"

She takes another sip of her drink and sighs into the mic.

"Alright, you want me to be real? Well, I have to sign off soon so perhaps we'll leave the fun question/answer game for the next show. You want me to get down to brass tacks? Let me spit silver nails. All I have heard for months on end, ever since she took MY title from that piece of rotting garbage Geri Vayden was how creative she is. How intuitive. How special. There is nothing creative about Betsy Granger. For real, she looks like Taylor Swift's dull cousin who strips her way through Devry University for an unaccredited associates degree in business. Candace Slow, and her stage name is Candi. That is about the extent of her creativity. Betsy, you carry that title around and flaunt it in all of our faces, but lets be honest, people turn off the TV when you come on. You may think I am the villain, the bad girl, the outlaw, the total bitch. Well, the last part may be correct......

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"I get it, I do. Nobody thinks Jenny Myst has it anymore. But have I given them any reason to? I was on top of the world, I was the most dominant female on this roster, I won all sorts of matches....including TWO ladder matches, to win and retain the Shooting Star Title. I looked untouchable, and in my eyes, I was. In the eyes of many of the roster members, I was. I was the bar that was set, the goal to shoot for, the goddess....the QUEEN. Oh how the mighty have fallen, eh? Losses to Geri, Betsy, Demos......Doc. Just a few short months ago, I had the XWF eating out of the palm of my hand...now, it is I who is walking to the guards, tattered clothing, empty bowl, begging for just one more crumb.

"Please sir, I want some more...."

My biggest mistake was that I didn't understand that line. The line between cockiness and confidence. I was a scared little girl, taking on the world behind the masquerade mask of someone I only dreamed I could be. I was a girl from the streets who had never been given a chance in life, and never knew what it felt like to be anything more than expendable. How the hell could I ever expect to be ready for success? To be ready to handle being the best when all I ever knew how to be was the worst? There is no glory in second place, no moral victories being in the back of the line, but the absolute truth is.....I was in over my head and my arms got tired of the doggy paddle. I had to sink under that cold, dark, unforgiving water and feel my lungs fill up before I ever truly knew how good taking that deep inhale would feel. Gasping for air at the surface isn't cute, but when it is the difference between staying alive and not....all style points go out the window. We learn from life experiences, we get better with age, and I'd go as far as to say that the more mistakes we make, the stronger we become.

Betsy has taken everything from me. She has taken away the only thing in my life that ever truly made me feel good. She has taken away the only thing keeping me from carving "Brooks Was Here" in the wall and kicking out that chair. I obsessed over it, I made that piece of metal the only thing in my life of value and merit. I hated what stared back at me in my large vanity mirror but that piece of white and gold, I put it on a pedestal. It was the pedestal I tried to put myself on, but I hated myself.......

I hate what I let myself become.

I let it consume me. I let it dictate my very existence and now.....here I am with nothing to show for all of the stress except for some blonde hair and a set of tits. I am what I always have been in my career and in my life....the underdog.

It's about time I embrace it.


Jenny takes off the headphones as the ending music runs and the station goes to commercial. She picks up her Cotton Candy BANG energy drink and takes a sip as she gets out of the comfy spin chair. Taking a few steps towards the door she puts a perfectly manicured hand on the light switch. She looks back towards the switchboard, staring at the photo she had propped up by the microphone stand to stare at while she was on air. It was a photo that was a symbolic representation of the greatest moment of her life.

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Ash Quinn shuts the door to the bathroom as the toilet flushes. "You ready freddie?"

Jenny looks at her, then back at the photo.

"Oh jeez. Jen. This again. Just do your thing, be you! Did you see the way you took it to Doc on Savage?! How many people, much less 100 pound women, can say they ever did that?! You got this, but you gotta relax a little. Come on, lets go get drinks, Sarina and I will buy."

Jenny shuts off the light and shuts the door to the station as the next program begins to play.

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that."
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[-] The following 7 users Like Jenny Myst's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (03-24-2021), ALIAS (03-20-2021), Andre Dixon (03-20-2021), HeavensToBetsy (03-20-2021), R.L. Edgar (03-20-2021), Theo Pryce (03-21-2021), Thunder Knuckles™ (03-20-2021)




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