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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Wild Card Weekend (June 29th) PPV RP Archive
P&J PC #13 -No Bueno Mr. Tornado!
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Hunter Payne Offline
RIP Ray Peterson



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#1
06-24-2013, 11:42 PM

-Payne & Joy post Podcast unlucky number 13 online-


Payne: Ladies and Gentlemen we have been told of a severe Hurricane Warning headed for Los Angeles, California. Set to hit on June 29th. I am being told everyone should evacuate to The Staples Center...


Joy: To watch that Hurricane get its ass kicked!


Payne: Welcome to the Podcast that everybody watches, but hates to admit it, The Payne and Joy Podcast. Unlucky number 13. I am Los Angeles native, Hunter Payne.


Joy: And I am also a Los Angeles native, Joy Giovanni.


Payne: And we are legitimately concerned with this Hurricane warning, I mean this could be the end of....... this Hurricane guy. I fear for his safety, but not when he is in the ring with me, because I'm not a pretentious asshole that thinks I kill everybody I wrestle in the ring. No, I fear for his safety on his way into the arena, and on his way out of the arena after he loses. LA fans are no joke. You see the last time the Lakers won the NBA Finals? We rioted... because we won! Just like LA will riot again after I beat you.


Joy: Hurricane, don't you ever call me a bitch! Listen, it doesn't matter what you did to one person. And how you made his wife and kids feel. Like that is some kind of worthy feat. "I NEARLY broke" or "What I COULD HAVE done"... COULD OF, WOULD OF, SHOULD OF, do you ever actually DO something...


Payne: See Undertaker gave you your nickname because you reminded him of Kerry Von Erich. But see, I did the same thing, you remind us of The Hurricane. A delusional guy who thinks he's way bigger and stronger than he really is. And uses a natural disaster as an alias to get people to think he is 'devastating'. Because face it, it's not like anybody is running in terror because Andy Morrison is coming.


Joy: Now when you say you give respect when respect is due, do you mean being a kiss-ass? Because that's what we see. The EYE of the storm, and a very brown NOSE.... And Mr. Brown Nose, I am Hunter Payne's manager, and that means anything that involves him is my business.


Payne: I am not concerned about you or your little gust... uhh I mean 'storm'. First, I'm there to make it a memorable night for my hometown, Second, is to celebrate my birthday with a win. Lastly, is to show some loudmouth Undertaker wannabe he isn't as frightening as he thinks he is... but hey I got some questions for you, ok why did your 'mentor' spend the majority of his career saying he was from Death Valley, CALIFORNIA? And why aren't you in The Undertaker's company? Why don't you bother the WWE Universe with your bullshit? Maybe because Undertaker didn't want his shittiest student to be in his company, embarrassing his reputation that took over 20 years to build. "Wah Wah Wah I don't care about this, that, and the other." It doesn't matter if you give a rat's ass, or a fuck, or whatever else you want to give. You will NEVER be Undertaker, or Kane, or Kerry Von Erich. You fail to bring fear, horror, or intimidation to anyone.


Joy: Listen kiss-ass, You don't stand a chance Wild Card Weekend. You can't ass-kiss your way out of the beating you're going to be receiving at the hands of Hunter Payne. But on a side note, can I get your autograph after you lose? I've always wanted the ugly guy that plays the Texas Chainsaw Massacre's autograph. Hahahaha, you really do look like leatherface, you know without the leather...


Payne: Let's see... Hurricane, kiss-ass, brown nose, Undertaker wannabe, and leatherface... Yep, looks like we're still mocking you... And what are you going to do about it huh?! Show up outside of an arena and bitch and moan about it? You say June 29th is my funeral? Good! I don't want to live in a world where the Texas Hurricane Andy Andrew Morrison is taken seriously!


Joy: Anybody remember Nathan Jones? Well he was The Undertaker's first apprentice. And he was twice the talent as this kiss-ass. And despite being on the WWE roster for a bit, he still wasn't good enough to make any real impact. So what chance do you have Andy?


Payne: Andy! You have been chosen by management to be the sacrificial lamb Saturday Night. You have been chosen, to get your ass kicked by the hometown hero before he rides off into the sunset with the win, the girl, and the admiration of the people.


Joy: Hurricanes come and go, you came. So please go already!... Oh Hunter, you know how birthday presents will surround the ring? Well, I got you an early birthday present for the match. Here open it...


-Joy blows party horn, and Hunter opens it-


Payne: You shouldn't have!..... It's... It's... What is it?


Joy: It's your new finisher... Well it's something devious I thought of. What is the most savage thing you can do in wrestling?


Payne: It's not this... What is this?


Joy: The ingredients for your new eXtreme finisher.... A Fireball!


Payne: Wow..... I like it...


Joy: Yeah and it's not like you can make Andrew's face any uglier!


Payne: I gotta try to perfect this before the show... This has been the Payne and Joy Podcast number 13. And it's very unlucky Podcast for the Hurricane! I am Hunter Payne and she is Joy Giovanni saying...


Joy: Los Angeles is burning...


Payne: If I can't learn how to properly execute the fireball, Hunter Payne will be burning...


Joy: Haha. Payne and Joy out! ;)


-'Los Angeles Is Burning' by Bad Religion is played as the Podcast ends-

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