I've been called many things in my life and career. A lot of nasty people have said a lot of nasty things. Some of it I took in stride, some of it I took to heart, some of it I worked to change. Some of it, well....let's be honest with ourselves here, most of it, is true today. Lets put the "future" on the back burner for a second and work from the past into the present. Test my long term memory. Lets see, I've been called....hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barbarous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, EDLINoid, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic (however the fuck that makes sense?), fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dyspeptic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially- , puerile, pinguid, and Generally Not Good.

Now, two days away from Round One of the March Madness tournament that I am destined to win, in my home city, I have been called.....get ready for it because it's a doozy..........a poopy face.

Oh Lord Jesus, protector of all that is good and holy, save me from being a poopy face! Show me the light! Teach me the error of my ways! I have never been as low as being a poopy face! How will I ever live this down?! My reputation is ruined! Damaged beyond repair!


You sniveling little cockstain. I am going to show you EXACTLY why they called me all of those names. Everything you've heard about me, they are all true, and I live and breathe them, back them up. I am not a good person, and I am done trying to be. Done trying to hide behind a smile and a hair flip. What has that gotten me? Nothing but losses, a title taken from me and a pretentious burlap sack carrying around the belt I made relevant. I tried to play nice with everyone, be a champions champion and elevate a division....give these women a reason to come to work every night. They took my kindness for weakness, and now they wanna take everything from me. So, this week, on Warfare, I am going to take it all from you. You think this match is already decided? Well that's your prerogative. Think what you want but a new Jenny Myst is coming and I guarantee you aren't ready for it.

CONTINUED FROM PART 1:

"Mr. Tarantino, so honored to be on the phone with you!"

He barely let her finish the sentence.

"I saw what you did last week. Real thriller movie type stuff, Ms. Sambuca. I think you have a great range and tons of diversity. Dominos is below you. I see Kill Bill type movie rolls in your future."

Jenny bit her lip. Kill Bill kinda sucked, but hey, a movie roll was a movie roll. What were these other bitches doing?

"Well, thanks!"

"I have been watching XWF because of you, missy. You're compelling to me. The pretty blonde bombshell who everyone wants turned crazed serial killer with a mean streak a mile wide but a sensitive soft side brought on by past demons that keep you from fully achieving your potential so you take it out on everyone else."

Jenny's eye's went wide.

"Are you Quentin Tarantino or Doctor Phil, jesus."

"Your entire thing...its a movie. All of it. Jenny Myst, the movie. Starring you. Let's get this rolling. I see another 4 hour epic here, eat your heart out Jamie Fox. When I get my hands on you, Grindhouse is going to look like Barney the goddamn Dinosaur and Django Unchained will be switched to a PG rating."

Something about this intrigued her. Was she really that fucked up?

The simple answer was yes. And she loved it.

"So when can I get started?"

Again, stepping on her words and cutting her off, the legendary director answered.

"The car is on its way. Pee now, because the traffic sucks in LA".

He hung up and left Jenny sitting there, coffee in hand.