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Centurion · (02-26-2021)

(We open up with a close up of the hands of a female bartender. She is pouring some ginger beer into a copper mug, and garnishing the drink. As she does, the camera pans up to see the bartender - she is a goth looking woman in her mid 20's. She clearly looks like she would rather be anywhere else, but capitalism is a bitch and you gotta do what you can to survive.

She slides the drink across the bar, and the hand of a man grabs it. Gold cufflinks and an Omega Seamaster watch are the most noticeable features. The camera then turns from a front facing view of the bar, slowly around the bar, and then behind the bartender. The hand, of course, belongs to Centurion, who picks up the copper mug and toasts into the camera.)

Centurion: Cheers!

(Centurion takes a sip out of the mug. Sitting next to him is Ruby, trying her best to not be noticed in public - and by that, she is wearing a pair of yellow pants and a lime green "Super Dear-O" t-shirt. Centurion, of course, dressed to the nines - high priced suit, shades, watch, stylin and profilin, as a wise man once said.

However, it's pretty clear that Centurion came over dressed. The bar is nothing to write home about - it's your typical restaurant bar, like you would see at an Applebee's. What's worse, is that the attendance is lower than what you might see at your typical mall Applebee's - two other tables are occupied, and no one else is at the bar. Place is a dive.

Further scanning of the wall reveals several pieces of XWF memorabilia, but it hasn't been updated in quite some time. The most recent photo on the wall is a photo of Ranma Saotome winning the Universal Title. None of the newer roster is honored in any way. The camera pans back to face Centurion.)

Centurion: Welcome to XWF New York!

I know, nothing to write home about, is it? I'll be honest, I assumed this place closed fifteen years ago. By the looks of the crowd, I'd say I'm not the only one.

This place was the vision of Jonathyn Brown - a vision he stole from someone else. He claimed the "XWF Brand" - and not the wrestler - was big enough to carry literally anything. He bought this building thinking people from around the world would flock to the location just for a glimpse of their favorite superstars. What it turned out to be is nothing more than a glorified Hard Rock Cafe. And not the fun "get drunk and gamble all your money away" Hard Rock, but rather the "pay $30 for a burnt burger named after Steven Tyler" Hard Rock.

So, honestly, it's a miracle this place still exists. Obviously, it's hemorrhaging money, so what do you do when you have a property that is losing money? Easy - you call Andy Cortinovis.

(Centurion takes another sip of his mule as the bartender slides a tequila sunrise over to Ruby.)

Centurion: Makes perfect sense. "Come see XWF Legend Centurion in person! Watch him fight some scrub, then party all night with him!" If I was in charge of the XWF, I would do the exact same thing - I'd book one of my bigger names in a nothing match at the restaurant and watch the folks start flocking in. It's a genius idea. Everyone is on board

Everyone, that is, except for the "scrub". Apparently Dean Rose never got the memo that this match really has nothing to do with him.

Dean Rose found out that he was going to be the sacrificial lamb in this match, and apparently that boosted his confidence to the point where he decided to challenge basically everyone to a match on Twitter. Corey Smith, Betsy Granger, hell, even Shawn Warstein. Dude was insulting everyone, and I have to be honest, it was pretty funny…

...at first. Then I started to realize that this wasn't going to stop. That Dean Rose truly thinks he's that much of a bad ass that he can fight anyone on the planet. He is so delusional that he thinks this match with me was supposed to be his coming out party, as opposed to what it truly is - a sacrifice for the entertainment of the crowd.

Ruby: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

(Centurion, and for that matter everyone else in the building, glances over at Ruby, who has stood up from her stool and has yelled into the sky. After a few seconds, she opens her eyes and looks around, without an ounce of shame or irony.)

Ruby: What?

Centurion: Was that Gladiator reference really needed right there?

Ruby: Um...yes?

Centurion: ...can't argue with that logic.

You've made a lot of fatal mistakes in your first few weeks on the roster, but you want to know the biggest mistake you've made? You didn't do your homework. Oh, sure, you read the bio page. You saw that I was in my 40's and won a bunch of matches. Good job. You did the same amount of research a high school kid does 30 minutes before class because he forgot to do his homework. Wikipedia can be your friend sometimes, but it can also be a curse. In this case, it fucked you.

Ruby: Hey!!

(Centurion's eyes go wide as Ruby stares a hole on him. Centurion continues to look into the camera, but he clearly feels uncomfortable. A few seconds of silence pass before Centurion speaks again.)

Centurion: ...it borked you.

While the things you said are true in a literal sense, it doesn't tell the whole story. Is doesn't show the work I have put in over the past two years. It doesn't show the rise from the bottom that I've had to go through. And, more importantly, it doesn't show that people have been using THE SAME TALKING POINTS AGAINST ME FOR 15 YEARS!!

You seriously think you're the first person who claims he's going to retire me? It's been the golden carrot dangling in front of newbies for as long as I can remember. They always want to finally be the one who puts Centurion out to pasture. And let me tell you, some of the folks who have threatened to do it have been REAL tough. I'm talking world class athletes here. Legends, and future legends.

And yet, I'm still here.

So now I sit in a bar, sipping on a Moscow mule, talking to a kid who is wrestling in his first real match, and I'm supposed to think you have any sort of legitimate shot against me? Are you mad?

You could have just enjoyed this experience. You could have taken you whooping, and learned something from it. There are far worse ways to begin your career than losing to me, I can tell you that. If you would have played your cards right, this Saturday could have been a great day for you. Now?

Now, I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to make this bar look like a horror movie. I'm going to fill shot glasses with your blood. And while I'm doing, I want you to know that it's all happening because YOU messed up. You wanted to play games. Well, play terrible games, win terrible prizes. And the prize this time? You, in a bloody and broken mess in the middle of Times Square after you had just met your…

FINAL FANTASY!!!

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