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SavannahKnightley · (02-11-2021)

Anarchy is now less than 24 hours away and unlike my opponents, I only just got to Moscow this afternoon, and because unlike everyone else I am wrestling again on Saturday I have been more focused on that match and haven’t had the chance to put up any promos, so how about we change that now and let’s talk a little about Anarchy. This will be my first Anarchy in over 2 months and right now I don’t really have the best of luck on the show as most of my matches so far have ended up being no contest because of outside interference or my match gets canceled, so here’s to hoping that tomorrow night will be different and that I can start 2021 on Anarchy with a bang. I am wrestling in a fatal 4-way match against Mini Morbid, Scarlet the Hunteress, and the so-called leader of BOB, Big Money Oswald, in an Idaho Spuds Match. How stoned were you Vinnie when you came up with this gimmick? What the hell is with XWF and their crazy matches? Can someone please tell me, it seems that instead of having the low card wrestler having regular matches they always seem to throw together these crazy gimmick matches to try and boost the ratings instead of letting them show what they can do in a normal match, but enough of that let's talk about my opponents some.

First, we have Mini Morbid and I am actually more worried about Morbid in this match than the other two, but that is mostly because the dude is shorter than me and I am scared the little bastard is going to end up dead in that pit.

I reach down into a bag that I had sitting on the table in front of me and pull out a small blue ball, I hold the ball up to the camera and I throw it up in the air a few times before I start to continue to speak

If this match was being taken place in a regular ball pit with balls like these then maybe he could surprise us, as these hollow plastic balls are light and easier to move around in but…..

I reach back into the bag and pull out a large Idaho potato, I hold the potato up to the camera.

In this match, we are wrestling in a pit full of these.

I throw the potato up in the air and right away you can tell that it is a lot heavier than the ball.

How the fuck is a guy as tiny as him going to be able to wrestle in a pit full of potatoes when he can’t even touch the bottom and even if he could touch the weight of the potatoes would make it next to impossible for him to really move around when 90% of his body is buried in the pit. Morbid I have nothing against you and it is actually nice to get the chance to wrestle someone that is not only shorter than me but also weighs less than I do, so please don’t die tomorrow.

Now onto Big Money Oswald, Oswald is the person I am the most excited about fighting in this match and that is because I fucking hate this guy. I have been trying to get XWF management to book me in a one on one match against him for months now. I don’t know if it because he thinks that because he has money that people should give a fuck what he has to say or do, or that he thinks that he actually brings anything of value to BOB other than the cash they love to spend on him. I remember I told him once that the only reason his wife loved him was that he was willing to buy her a new set of boobs and that I am sure his daughter is going to grow up with Daddy issues and become a stripper name, Harley. Those might be a few reasons I don’t like him but I don’t know exactly what it is about him that rubs me the wrong way and why I want to fight him so badly. You would think that a girl that is as short and tiny as me wouldn’t want to fight someone who I am sure takes bigger shits than me but I do and I am looking forward to seeing how many potatoes I can fit up that fat ass of his, I am going to say at least 4.

Lastly, we have Scarlet the Hunteress. I honestly don’t know anything about you other than that your only win so far in the XWF was against Liam Roberts and that sadly isn’t anything special as most of the roster has a win against that loser, but you are kind of hot so how about you give me the chance to get to know you a little better after the match when we are showering to get all that potato dirt off our bodies. I’ll wash your back if you wash mine and I promise that I will be gentle or not if you would rather it rough.

So there you have it I have now talked about everyone and while I am still not a hundred percent sold on the match or what exactly I need to do to get the victory, I am going to go into the match tomorrow and do everything possible to finally pick up a win so that come Savage I will be riding the high that comes with winning your first career match in the XWF.

So, until tomorrow goodnight and sweet dreams, don’t dream about me too much, I can’t promise that will not be dreaming about all of you.

I get up off the chair I was sitting on and walk over to the light and flip it to the off position causing the room to go black.

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