Bobby Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles is are hanging out in one of BOB’s many hideouts in the United States of America. Thunder Knuckles’s phone rings, he looks down and the camera picks up that it is Jimmy calling. Thunder Knuckle’s give an audible sigh.


Sigh...


Bobby Bourbon smiles know that it obviously has something to do with work and Thunder Knuckles begrudgingly answer his phone.


Yeah, Jimmy?


Thunder Knuckles allows Jimmy to finish speaking.


Yes, I fucking know I have a match on Savage.


Thunder Knuckles again pauses so Jimmy can speak.


Yes, I know we're in a tag match on Savage-


Thunder Knuckles cups the microphone over with his hand and says to Bobby Bourbon.


Fuck yeah, man! Them No Good Bastards are fucking smoking hot right now. They can't make t-shirts fucking fast enough, bro.


Bobby Bourbon agrees by shaking his head yes.


What do you mean Atara is in the match? Wait… You said Atara and didn’t go crazy… What’s up JImmy? Are you feeling okay? I thought you guys didn’t exactly seem eye to fucking eye, know what I'm saying?


Thunder Knuckles pauses but as Jimmy is speaking he begins to smile.


"Be my Valentine" match? I can’t what? That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard of! I've heard some pretty dumb shit too. Like fucking Centurion had a goddamn rooftop match on a stadium, with no fucking roof! Get the fuck out of here with that shit!


The smile fades.



I can’t talk trash on our opponents?


Bobby’s ears perk up and now his attention is focused on Thunder Knuckles and the phone conversation.


I don’t even know how to do that, Jimmy! Who’s fucking idea was this?


A short pause occurs.


Of fucking course it was a fucking Karen. Oh, great idea, Jimmy! Get me all trained up and have a good showing at a Pay-Per-View that we weren’t supposed to have and BAM! A fucking Karen! This is bullshit, Jimmy!


A long pauses this time.


Fine. I’ll tell Bobby.


Thunder Knuckles hangs up on Jimmy without saying good-bye, his mood soured.


Well, Bobby, it looks like Karen Hunt wants Them No Good bastards to look bad. Which is fine, whatever.

What do you mean?

I mean, the bitch put us in a fucking tag match.

That doesn't mean she doesn't like us! She wants the hottest tag team in XWF to be on her show. You don't see Corey and Doc, the tag team champions, on Savage do you?


Thunder Knuckles looks over at Bobby in disbelief.


Guess not. She did book us against two fine ass jars of honey... Wait that's not why! We can’t talk shit! Zero! NONE!


Bobby doesn’t seem pleased.


Who’s it up against?

Jimmy said Atara and Betsy. I mean, it’s not like I had anything fucking negative to say about them per se but thats our biggest fucking weapon, dawg. How the fuck do we win if we can't talk that good shit?


Bobby doesn’t know how to answer and the two men ponder on what to do. Hours pass.





Thunder Knuckles proclaims.


I GOT IT!

What?

It’s fucking easy, Bobby! We go all fucking romantic comedy on their asses.

Fine asses, at that, but how do we go all romantic comedy them?

It’s a basic ass formula, bro. Like our two tag teams, feel me?


Bobby has no clue what Thunder Knuckles is talking about.


Not at all.

Okay, So you got the two love interests, right?

Right.


Bobby Bourbon is starting to pick up what Thunder Knuckles is throwing down.


They normally start out at odds, you know like come from completely different worlds, have competing goals, or just start off on the wrong fucking foot. Ol’ Thunder Knuckles has seen so many of these fucking movies that I know there a very fucking thin line between love and hate. The whole goddamn story is framed so all that friction becomes kindling for the sparks to fly.


Thunder Knuckles makes hand motions trying to simulate fireworks.


All those fucking movies tend to involve some big misunderstanding, or some fucking times outright deception.


Bobby's curiosity kicks in.


What kinda deception.

I don't know, man. Like, fucking, the dude pretends to be someone he’s not. Shit like that.

Oh, I see.

Anyway, common plots include a fucking meet-cute-

What's a meet-cute?

A stupid fucking cutesy story about how two lovesick meet.

Ah, okay. I’m following.


Thunder Knuckles shakes his heading approval knowing he's getting somewhere.


Then you got you movies that do the fucking grand gesture, but those movies normally aren’t that fucking great. My favorite is the goddamn love triangle ones though because you know the dude is porking both of them. They just don’t show it.

Probably because it’s hard for them to sell that he’s a good guy if he is. Kissing in the rain is a good way to go through, very romantic!


Thunder Knuckles thinks about that for a second but dismisses it almost instantly. He prefers to think that they’re just boning for boning’s sake.


Yeah, I guess.

Well get back on track TK this was starting to get good.

Alright, where was I?


Thunder Knuckles pauses because he lost track of where he was, his excitement got the best of him. Thunder Knuckles begins to let what's on his mind come out unfiltered.


Like most fucking Hollywood movies they all take place in either New York or Los Angeles. Why? I don't know Hollywood sets most movies in those two places. Anyway, the single one always lives in some bomb ass apartment and has some dope ass job like working at a magazine, or in the fashion business, or self-employed. There’s always some fucking bubbly gorgeous heroin, most of the time it's usually the same bitches who have a fucking bunch of romantic comedies under their belts. Just so the lead female actor-


Bobby quickly corrects Thunder Knuckles.


Actresses.

My bad, Actresses. Just so the lead actress doesn’t look too fucking perfect. They always give her some relatable fucking flaw like overly clumsy or some shit. Then there's the zany side characters, which usually involves a best friend with no fucking life.

Why do you say they have no life?

Well, think about it... All these bitches goal in the whole fucking movie is to provide comedy relief and discuss the main bitches problems.

You know what? You’re right.

Anyway, the main bitch, usually has some misleading love interest who seems fucking perfect, ringing any bells?

Raven and Warstien?

That’s right! Long story fucking short that misleading love interest is all wrong for her.


Thunder Knuckles nods his head show that Bobby Bourbon was right in his assumption.


Meanwhile, and this is where we come in Bobby, in walks some dude. This girl isn’t trying to get with this guy. She not trying to fucking impress him. Why would she she’s looking at tall dark and handsome over there!


Thunder Knuckles points out and Bobby’s eyes follow.


I don’t see anyone.


Thunder Knuckles ignores the fact Bobby thought he was pointing to something.


It allows the main bitch to be her un-fucking-filtered self and get to know the other dude-


Thunder Knuckles points at Bobby and back to himself.


-Us. In a real way. We develop this chemistry between our two teams, right. All leading to the moment of apifany.

Are you trying to say epiphany?


Thunder Knuckles looks down bashfully, knowing he has a relatable flaw.


Well, that’s when the two fuckers in the movie suddenly realize, that the feeling that they share is, what the audience already knew the entire fucking time.


Bobby Bourbon begins to tear up. Thunder Knuckles notices his partner pulls out a handkerchief from his back pocket and hands it to Bobby.


Then it’s fucking followed by the scene that the couple declares their undying fucking love for each other, and goddamn commit to each other.


Thunder Knuckles trying to lighten the heavy impact on this big guy.


I mean, personally, that’s where I put a hardcore fuck scene.


Bobby tilts his head like a dog, looks over at Thunder Knuckles.


For no reason other than the fact you have been staring at this hot girl the entire fucking movie. You already wanted to bone her, eh, Hollywood doesn’t have any fucking vision, am I right? Anyway, that part, before the hardcore fuck scene, usually ends the movie.

What even gave you this idea?


Thunder Knuckles puts his hand on Bobby Bourbon’s shoulder.


At this moment, we’re in a fucking renaissance for this once forgotten formula but make no mistake about it, Bobby. Our opponents are going to fucking love it! What we need to answer though is if this type of fucking story is even still visible in its purest form.

Bobby waits until Thunder KNuckles is done to correct him.


Viable.

What?

If the story is even still viable in its purest form.

Yeah, that's what I said.


Thunder Knuckles looks over at the camera and winks because he knows no one thought this was possible. Then he gives the middle finger to signal that not even a Karen can stop Them No Good Bastards.