OOC: Doing some formatting. Almost slept through deadline, so apologies for the shorter RP.

January 12th, 2021

As the footage starts up, it’s clearly the familiar office of Dr. Urias Pheelanruff. The actual quality of the picture is low, clearly shot on very low quality VHS. Two young boys are playing with new XWF Unstoppable brand action figures as a narrator that is clearly Urias yells over the saturated footage. One boy turns to the other holding a Ned Kaye toy and clashes it with the other boy’s Boris figure.

“YEAHHHHHHH,” the two children shout.


“Ned Kaye uses the Notroiumus Knee!”

A close up of the figures shows them being slapped against each other roughly in the boys’ hands.

“Oh yeah? Well my Boris comes with his own vodka bottle and YouTube channel!”

A quick cut shows the Boris toy’s fists tapping a small plastic computer while the young boy puts on a less than PC and also perplexing German accent.

“Unt no! Boris is banned, ja?”

With a quick flip of his tiny table, the Boris figure drowns his sorrows in his pretend vodka bottle.

“Go! Introspection mode!”

The Ned action figure is placed next to the window, his barely recognizable face lingering on the view of New York outside.

“Is it all really worth it? Will I ever find true happiness?”


In the background, the door of the office is opened, revealing the actual Ned Kaye, looking immediately confused as he sees the production going on in front of him.

“What the-?”


A quick and hasty camera edit removes Ned from the center of the frame, but still awkwardly places him towards the side as he tries to stay out of view. In a new shot, the toys are propped up in the ring on opposite corners from one another. Guided by two clearly visible strings, the two combatants lunge towards each other! Their clash is as clumsy as it lousy. With a final big push, one of the boys picks up his Boris action figure and begins to show off a few of its other features.

“My Boris has multiple fun sounds! Like thi-“

“Gavin! It’s time to go, sweetie!”

A voice rings out from outside of the room, prompting the hand holding the tiny Boris to drop him. After a panicked cut, Ned Kaye’s adult hand is shown holding Boris, his other hand in the backdrop of the image as he reads off the script.

“My Boris has multiple fun sounds. Like this one.”

He presses on its stomach as an excruciating Godzilla-esque noise escapes the Boris, making it feel far more demonic than before.

“I… I don’t think he’s supposed the say that.”


“Ned Kaye comes with one different outfit!”


The closest thing to an action figure shrugging is shown on screen as the shot pans out to show the kid talking to Ned.

“So… can you pick up Boris in real life?”

“Well… uh, I don’t really pick people up when I actually wrestle. I’m more of an acrobatic and kicks kind of guy.”

“But… you can suplex somebody right..?”

“…Not really,” Ned admits embarrassedly.

“Can… can we trade?”

Ned is shocked, but the camera quickly cuts to a new shot revealing him to be disappointedly holding his own action figure, head dipped slightly.


A picture of a Barbie doll covered in glitter is shown.


A shot of bloody bald figure is shown menacingly turning towards the camera.


The same shot is repeated.


The picture shows an empty box in a trash can.

"You can't run from yourself."