With Centurion out for some Krispy Kreme donuts (Ruby had insisted he go buy them on foot after finding out the TERRIBLE conditions UberEats drivers worked under), the Banana-Lime Blur had the apartment for herself. And she LOVED that apartment.

Ruby: “Hey Alexa, knock knock.”

Alexa: “Not this again…”

Ruby: “Hey Alexa, you’re supposed to say “Who’s there!”

Alexa: “Alexa.”

Ruby: “Ugh, I’m returning you. And I am certainly NOT installing you in the RuMoByle, you’re a long way removed from being KITT, girl! Now, play some Kaiser Chiefs!”

Alexa: “Now playing… ‘I Predict A Riot’.”

Ruby: “Hardly a prediction that, these days… Ah well.”

Ruby shrugged until she heard a knock on the door. Garnet looked up from his dog bed and started growling.

Ruby: “Garnet, calm down little buddy, I bet that’s Centy with the D! To the O! To the NUTS!”

Hopping to the front door in anticipation of a sugar high, Ruby wondered if she would eat the jelly donut or chocolate glazed one first. She opened the door, but instead of her boyfriend, she saw…

Ruby: “…Kenzi?”

Indeed, the starlet of The Kenzi Grey Show, and her soon to be tag team partner, stood in front of the door.

Kenzi: “Sup, Rubes!”

Ruby: “Mackenzie! What a pleasant surprise. Do come in.”

The former Anarchy Champion (referring to Kenzi in this instance) stepped inside, but as soon as she did, Garnet exploded from his dog bed, growling and barking and bearing his teeth at the visitor. Kenzi raised an eyebrow and Ruby was surprised to say the very least!

Ruby: “Garnet! That’s a BAD dog! BAD DOG! Sit! Calm down!”

But Garnet didn’t stop. Ruby had to take him by the collar to stop him from assaulting Kenzi, who was none too impressed.

Ruby: “So sorry, Kenzi, I don’t know what’s coming over him, he’s usually so sweet!”

Kenzi: “Ohhh, I see what’s going on! Mellow and sweet when it’s WHITE people walking through your front door, I bet!”

Ruby: “What? Oh come on, that has nothing to do with it.”

Kenzi: “Can’t have black people in the house, is that it? RACIST!”

Ruby: “I’m not!”

Kenzi: “Not you! The dog!”

Ruby: “Oh come on, Kenzi, it’s nothing like that, he’s only trained to attack criminals!”

Kenzi: “And he ‘just’ ‘assumed’ I’m criminal? Gee, I ‘wonder’ why! RACIST dog!”

Kenzi wagged her finger at Garnet.

Ruby: “Come on Kenzi, he can’t possibly be racist. Animals don’t look at skin color! What, you just think he’d attack black people on sight and at random? He’s supremely well trained! In fact, he’s a former police d-… Ohhhhhhh noooooo….”

Kenzi: “Told you!”

Ruby: “Garnet, I am VERY disappointed in you! To the time-out room right the flip NOW, mister!”

She dragged the rabid dog to the unofficial time-out room, which really was just Centurion’s man cave (she’d worry about the damages in there later), and dusted off her hands when the door was locked.

Ruby: “Right. Now, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company, eh?”

Kenzi: “Our upcoming match, obvs. Found myself in Chi-Town for a shoot, so I thought I’d pay you a visit for some strategizing. Don’t tell Sarah though, she’ll flip out.”

Ruby: “My lips are sealed.”

Kenzi: “Funny, ‘cause I thought Cen-“

Ruby: “NO sexual innuendo, please? I mean, it’s nice of you to want to strategize, but I’ve already learned that even the best laid plans can go awry, especially on Anarchy. Maybe it’s better to just wing it. We won’t even know our match stipulation until the show anyway. We should probably just rely on experience. After all, Tommy’s biggest Wish is that he can somehow be relevant on Anarchy again, but he’ll need to drop a few more coins into that wishing well. He should probably drop Oswald down there to be safe, really. He’s great at falling from great heights after all, as we saw on New Year’s Eve Anarchy! Him and John Black, they’re just a bunch of degenerate THUGS. Easy to beat up, and hard to take seriously.”

Kenzi: “John Black. With a name like that, maybe we should send your DOG to…”

Ruby: “Please, don’t start!”

Kenzi rolled her eyes and walked over to the window to get a view of the skyline, and Ruby noticed something in her back pocket. She snatched it out from there.

Kenzi: “Hey!”

Ruby: “Ah-HA! I knew it!”

She held out the plastic zip bag in front of her, which was filled with strips of cooked bacon.

Ruby: “Garnet must’ve smelled it! No wonder he went crazy, he LOVES bacon! It’s his favorite food! See, race has nothing to do with it.”

Kenzi: “Hey, that’s mine, give it back!”

Ruby handed her the packet, which Kenzi put back in her back pocket.

Ruby: “Fine, fine. Why are you carrying bacon around anyway?”

Kenzi: “Oh what, are you for ‘some’ reason assuming I oughta be running ‘round packing fried chicken and watermelon? RACIST!”

Ruby: “Don’t start… Fine, never mind, do whatever you want.”

Kenzi: “It’s leftovers from my breakfast. I asked them to pack it in case I got hungry. Money doesn’t grow on trees. Especially since Sarah and I got into that Star Trek game.”

Ruby: “Oh yeah, I heard about that. I prefer High School Story, myself. Much less pirating.”

Kenzi: “What’s that? Sounds lame as f—”

Ruby: “TUTUTUTUTUT we don’t use that word here!”

Kenzi: “You don’t even know what I was gonna say! Why do you always assume the worst about me?”

Ruby: “Fine… Finish your sentence.”

Kenzi: “Sounds lame as* *!”

Kenzi smirked, Ruby gave her a whole bunch of side-eye, and Centurion entered the apartment with a paper bag full of donuts.

Centurion: “Donuts, donuts, for my national treasure!”

Kenzi: “About time, I’m starving!”

Kenzi grabbed the bag from Centurion’s hands, who gave Ruby a questioning look. She could only shrug.

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*Open at own risk. Parental advisory. Explicit content.