**The Plan**

Thunder Knuckles is with Jimmy in XWF video archives.


Okay, Thunder Knuckles! Are you ready to go over the career of Geri-


Thunder Knuckles cuts off Jimmy.


Man, not fucking really. I have important shit to do.

You keep saying that. First, it was GCWA, Then you didn’t take Xbux to go all out on Ne-


Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy so hard spit flies from his mouth.


Yeah, mother fucker! What the cameraman didn’t fucking see, because ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles is a God damned genius. My real motivation wasn't shown.


Jimmy nursing his face asks,


Real motivation?


Thunder Knuckles snarling at Jimmy and continues.


Why take Neds xbux when Smoking Bob Willaims is the fucking one who owes the bux? Principles Jimmy. That’s not how business is fucking done.

So you were working on a way to make more xbux than what Ned offered?

Fuck yeah, I was! SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX MILLION SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX more goddamn Xbux! Do you know what that is Jimmy?


Jimmy starts to say something but Thunder Knuckles doesn’t allow him to even utter a word.


That’s more Xbux than I could have ever fucking dreamt of getting out of this whole fucking rasslin business.

How did you plan on pulling that off?


Thunder Knuckles's attitude lightens.


The way I fucking see it, Vinnie Lane, the fucking slave merchant that he is has Unknown Soldier on the XShop for that fucking sum.

What?

You know, the only true satanist in this XWF today! Now, you're asking yourself, why does any of this fucking matter? Well, for one. I’m fighting the unwanted, unneeded, damn near pointless left hand and would love to shove that fake-ass goth baloney in their face. You know, when BOB unleashed the real forces of Hell to wipe them off the face of the XWF.

I thought BOB was against superheroes?

Fucking weak ass goth kids are far worse than fucking superheroes, any fucking day of the week, Jimmy. Keep the fuck up! Anyway, superheroes keep guys like me and Bobby "Mother Fucking" Bourbon in business. Plus, I can sell Unknown Soldier off used, after the fucking fact. Because, hey, if Vinnie can get away with trying to sell someone in 2021, so the fuck can I. The only fucking problem with my plan is, he cost too fucking much, and nobody seems to know where to find his ass! That’s why I had to commodored-


Jimmy even after being slapped corrects Thunder Knuckles.


commandeered.


Thunder Knuckles raises his hand and Jimmy cowardly covers his face, thus making Thunder Knuckles not hit poor Jimmy. A move Jimmy must have picked up from someone in those sidekick meetings he’s been attending.


That’s what-the-fuck I said, Jimmy. I commandeered the BOB satellites and had you scan the entire fucking world for his Satanic energy signal!

Wait, what? I thought that was a phone game!


Thunder Knuckles smiles wickedly but then winks into the camera.


When that didn’t work, because Jimmy’s phone fucking sucks. Jimmy time to fucking upgrade, by the way. I used Oswald’s cash to hire a crack team of hackers to infiltrate the XWF servers for any information pretraining-

Pertaining


Without missing a beat Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy and continues.


-pertaining to the last known where-the-fucks of Unknown Soldier. Unforently for my dumb ass, I hired my hackers out of the same lame-ass classifieds that The Left Hand advertise in, and needless to say, my hackers turned out to be some 12-year-old hacks themselves. So, yeah BOB takes full responsibility for the recent server issues over at XWF99.com, but just know that it was not an act of malice, but instead, an act of greed, cause Ol’ Thunder Knuckles just got his first fucking clue and I’m about to be fucking RICH BITCH!

Can we go over Geri-

Fuck Geri Miller, man! Fuck The Left Hand. Did they do anything like take down XWF99.com? Fuck no! Because between the fucking whole goddamn lot of them they barely have a set of nuts between them.



Jimmy takes a deep breath because he's already been slapped a lot during this promo and Thunder Knuckles seems to be on a roll.


She got married and now her name is-

Don’t fucking care Jimmy.

For once I agree with you Thunder Knuckles.

Wait, huh? You what?

To be honest Thunder Knuckles we can go over all the tape I want but this bitch changes her gimmick every sixty days or so, give or take. It’s pretty hard to keep up. She was a stoner but not anymore. She got married and tried to be a badass. When none of that worked. She joined The Left Hand.

The fucking Left Hand. The bargain bin, spooky, scary, BOB.


Thunder Knuckles gives his one-of-a-kind jerk off motion.


Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Yeah, next thing you know Geri is going to be a space cowgirl, riding a white unicorn, that shoots out Jesus lasers from its eyes.

Pretty lame if you ask me Thunder Knuckles.

Pretty fucking lame indeed.


Defeatedly, Thunder Knuckles, cringes at what he says next.


Well… let's look at what this Edgar Allen Ho has done recently then.


Jimmy walks over and pops in the 2020 Savage Solstice tape.


Well, this isn't entertaining. It says right here Geri and Ash Quinn vs Black Jesus but it looks like the match was canceled.

Great. Move on to the next one.


Jimmy pulls out the 2020 Savage Solstice tape and pops in the December 12th, 2020 episode of Savage.


This should be good.

Who does she rassle this week?

Just watch the tape.


Match after plays. Queen's court plays out, Tommy Wish wins his match, Carnes beats Greggo, The Left Hand picks up a win with Ash Quinn, Jenny Myst does what BOBbies do best and retains her title, BigD shows off the new World Championship.


Hey! Isn't that the title that Barney and Micheal Graves both won?

Yep, and now BigD has it.

What's next?

The Main Event.

Holy fuck! Geri got the Main Event?


Jimmy smiles knowing that probably will never happen.


No... Not really.

Then why the fuck are we watching this?

You'll see.


The Main Event plays as Jenny Myst screwed Atara. As Jenny is screwing over Atara Jimmy has a big smile on his face while Thunder Knuckles looks upset over the situation, even tho Jenny is a member of BOB.


Did you just seriously make me watch this so you could smile about Atara losing? That's pretty fucked up Jimmy. Even for me.

No, no, no... That's just an added bonus. Here it is.


The video shows Geri talking smack to Jenny Myst.


You wanted to show me she talks a lot and fucking poorly at that? I already fucking knew that Jimmy.

Yes, but I wanted to show you the caliber of trash talk you're going up against. Frankly, she doesn't stand a snowball's chance in Hell. You're going to pick her apart. It would probably be in her best interest if she didn't show up. I mean, you're already going to be more factual and done more research than she will.

That's what I pay you for Jimmy. Well, I'm in a good mood, damn it. Let's say ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND xbux.

No.

What? She could use a win and I'll take her Xbux. After all, picking up a win over Geri, whoever-the-fuck she is this month does nothing for me. Do I get some kinda bonus to keep listening to his fucking stupid bitch talk? No. I don't. So, I'll make my own goddamn bonus. Geri. You know the terms pay up or fucking lose. It's pretty goddamn simple.

Why are you doing this? For real this is an easy win for you.

I'm searching for Unknown Soldier. I thought I had already explained that to you, Jimmy. I don't have time to waste on fucking weak-ass talent trying to make a name for themselves when they don't even know who the fuck they, themselves, fucking are. It's goddamned dumb, Jimmy.

That's not even the dumb part.


Jimmy pops in the High Stakes PPV the tap was already set up by Jimmy in advance. It's showing Thunder Knuckles the big Shooting Star Title match where Geri loses. Thunder Knuckles sits in disbelief as this all unfolds in front of him.


So, let me get this right. This bitch loses a match and then runs out to talk shit to Jenny Myst? After that? I come back to Savage and get a fucking opening card, curtain jerking, match with the worse thing since fucking Speechless Von Prick Hammer? Oh, and I'm expected to be fucking happy about it? Fuck that, Jimmy! I'm done with this promo. Don't bother me about this bitch until she accomplishes something now that she's a fucking slam dancing . She got any matches leading into this I need to pay attention to?


Jimmy looks down and his feet.


Yeah, actually on the next Warfare.


Thunder Knuckles stands up from his seated position and stares at Jimmy.


I know... Fuck Warfare. Fuck Smoking BOB.

This is a fucking mess, Jimmy. Clean it the fuck up. I'm fucking out of here to find Soldier! Have Todd play out Geri's fucking career at the end or something.


Thunder Knuckles gets up and walks out of the room. jimmy looks over at the cameraman, who is getting used to Thunder Knuckles ending promos early.


Good thing I didn't have to tell him how she messed up being Anarchy Champion, huh? I guess there's always next time. God knows she can't scrape up enough xbux to get out of this match.