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Stay In The Minor Leagues, Lady
Author Message
Charlie Nickles Offline
The Nickleman



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
12-31-2020, 11:50 PM

The scene opens with Charlie Nickles standing next to Steve Sayors. Charlie towers over Steve with his championship belt slung around his shoulder.

"We’re here with Television champion Charlie Nickles! You’ve got a big tag match coming up against the Brotherhood of Baddies. What do you have to say about it?"

"How many times do I need to teach these bastards their lesson?

How much pain must I put them through before they figure it out?

Their little social club just can't stop me. Thunder Knuckles is their top guy, and I ended his title reign with no remorse. I've bloodied their boys, I've pinned them, hell, I even threw Barney and Gravy girl over the top rope. I've already beaten these goons. It's no big deal to bloody them up again, in fact, I relish in their failure and misery.

Just like Sisyphus, their struggle will never end. Their valiant quest to beat Charlie Nickles...just once! Is never going to happen. They're never going to reach that peak, they're never going to able to push that rock up that particular hill. My victories against them pile up as my superiority gnaws at them with each passing day. I am consuming them from the inside out. Their whole brotherhood is desperate for a win against me, desperate to take me down!

And just like Sisyphus they keep pushing and pushing. But each and every time they get close to the top of that hill.....the rock comes crashing down on them! All the hard work, all their blood, sweat, and tears...all for nothing! When will they learn that NICKLES DOESN'T LOSE?!"


"So I take it you will not be joining BoB?"

Why join that which can simply be conquered? I understand why they're desperate for me to join. I empathize with their struggle. If I join them, they don't have to come to terms with the fact that I am simply better than them. If I become one of them, their endless quest will finally end. They'll grow infinitely stronger, become real contenders in the big leagues. But there's nothing in it for me. Anytime one of those chucklefucks wins a belt, I know that baby will be mine in short order.

Charlie taps on his championship belt.

This right here is real gold. BoB wasn't fit to carry it. BoB isn't even fit to carry my sweaty jockstrap to the washer after I pin them on New Year's Eve.

"Well what do you think of Graves' magical transformation in the GCWA?"


"G C W A"

"Yes, it stands fo-"

"Gutless Cowards Winning Absolutely nothing of importance. Honestly, Graves should stick to the minor leagues. I mean, if I ever fail out of the big leagues and wind up doing clean up duty in the kiddy pool like Graves, I'm going to blow my fucking brains out. But Graves is better off over there. It's become a popular destination these last few months, that's undeniable. They've signed some old XWF names that just couldn't keep up with the grueling travel schedule. Not everyone's cut out for barbed wire chimneys and muddy speedos. Not everyone has what it takes to fight in the biggest venues on the biggest stage.

Maybe Graves could pick up a little winning streak down there. Look, they don't hold a real championship belt in the XWF. That's just a matter of fact. Their belt isn't even gold. And I know right now they're not even a big fish in a small pond down in the GCWA. Graves is only the #3 contender for the Gutless Coward's bottom belt. But if they stick it out, really focus on their work over there, then maybe, just maybe, they could climb up to be the #2 contender for that worthless GCWA television belt!"


"Well, what do you say to people who say that Jim Jimson is going to ruin DDS's run for the tag gold?"

"You think I don't know that Jim sucks? That's he's an absolute liability in this ring, week in and week out? Of course I know that! That’s why I keep him around. How impressive was it that I beat Atara Themis and Betsy Granger with Jimson handicapping me? Atara’s a former Xtreme champion and Betsy just beat Centurion….and I beat them both! As long as I keep Jim around, I am the man!

Besides, he's not half as bad as people think he is. He has wins over both Thunder Knuckles and Graves these last few weeks!"

Jim Jimson enters the scene in a garbageman’s suit and a black wig. He’s sucking on a pacifier shaped like Graves' lady form.

"Look at this shit."

"Uhhh what ar-" Steve is cut off as Jimson spits the pacifier in his face.

“LOOK AT THIS SHIT, MAN!"

"Mah names Bawney Gween. I'm a lil baby simp. I'm only in BoB because I need someone to tell me what to do. I just wanna be a wil cog in the machine because I know I can't make it in this bwisness on mah own."

"Downright pathetic." Charlie shakes his head as Jimson begins to rub his nipples.

"Do you think I'm sexy now baby? I'm jwust a bwig twease. I like to get you all excited and then finish early like I did in the battle woywal."

"Shut the fuck up Barney! This interview isn't about you! This is about ME! You're always trying to soak up my television time. Now SCRAM!

Charlie smacks Jim Jimson roughly before the garbageman sulks away.

"Now listen here, Steve. Barney Green is a piece of shit! He had it coming! Everything that I do to that man is out of my hands! It's a thing called Karma, Steve. KARMA! And Barney....you've had it coming for a long time! You don't deserve to be alive anymore. It's that simple. Your sins against me have gone unchecked for far too long. I'm still going to pour thumbtacks down your throat tomorrow night, YOU BITCH!

[Image: 27J5l3J.png]
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