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Tula Kealiʻi · (12-30-2020)

I crossed a line. And I knew it.

Three weeks ago, I was standing in the middle of the ring when I let my frustrations out on Ruby and Centurion - two people who have had my back since the very beginning. I won the match, but I still felt hollow. I still felt like I wasn't being respected. And I still can't get over the thought that Centurion was only out there because it was Ruby I was arguing with.

I shoved him to the ground. I probably shouldn't have done that. And yet…

I don't really feel bad about it.

I know I should. I know Centurion has been a mentor to me, and that I should feel bad that I disrespected him like that. That's how I'm SUPPOSED to feel. But instead, I feel rather comfortable with what I did. Like I did the right thing.

Perhaps this feeling wears off over time. Perhaps everything will get back to normal after my title match. Once I let my frustrations out on Kenzi and her band of misfits, I should be able to go back to being who I was. Maybe.

As I stand in the lobby of the hotel I am staying in, I can't help but think about how this place is going to be insane tomorrow night. Party goers are going to be coming in from the streets as the countdown to the final minutes of the worst year ever begins. Drunken tourists all yelling and screaming for unknown reasons. And me, standing in the middle of it all, with the Anarchy Title over my shoulder.

Oh, it's going to be beautiful.

"Boris will win match, then run into the Square Clock with vodka to celebrate end of year blin!"

Of course, Boris is talking about "Times Square", but I have long since past the point where I plan on correcting him.

"Would it matter if it was New Years Eve? Wouldn't you just run out into the streets drunk regardless?"

"...Tulip make good point blin."

I wish I had the simple mind of Boris. I wish I could only care about getting drunk and partying. I wish I could completely forget people's names and think it's still 1974. But I can't. The only thing I can think about is Kenzi Grey.

The Bitch Of Anarchy.

The symbol of all that is bad within the XWF. The very person who is propped up by the system. Opportunity after opportunity handed to her, and yet she stands with that title, as cocky as she can be, thinking she's hot shit. As if she earned even a sliver of the rewards she has been given.

"You are going to be ringside for my match, right? We can't let Maxine and Bobbi run out and screw me out of another title match. I'm going to need you there to back me up."

"Good friend Tulip has this in bag? Is inside cage blin. Maxim and Bob can not touch Tulip from outside cage blin. This just fact!"

"I appreciate your confidence, but I'm afraid it doesn't really work that way. They can easily prevent me from escaping the cage. I need all the help I can get."

"Good friend Centurion and Super Rudy will be there! Is all good blin!"

Not going to lie - Boris is starting to irritate me. He has no clue how big of a match this is. He doesn't understand the depths Kenzi and her crew would go to to ensure people keep kissing her ass. She demands praise, and she demands belts of gold to validate her existence. Whatever friends she made in this industry, she already has on the phone.

Rather than keep arguing with the braindead Slav, I decide to just grab my bag. I'll head to the room and relax. It's better that way.

"I'm going to the room. Don't wake me when you come in."

"Boris may sleep in lobby again."

Yeah, that's what I need - another 3 AM wake up call from a hotel manager telling me that my friend is scaring the guests because he decided to fall asleep on top of a piano.

As I head to the elevator, the events of the past several weeks keep playing in my head - Bobbi and Maxine injecting themselves in the pre-High Stakes tag match. The two of them costing my Anarchy Title that I worked so damn hard for. Kenzi claiming innocence - telling everyone she had "nothing to do with it". Bobbi being "punished" by being put in a match against her weird ass lover, and Maxine being "punished" by being put in a match that weirdly hasn't been aired. All the while, Vinnie and Kenzi claiming they aren't in cahoots with one another.

I read the Twitter. I hear the rumors backstage. EVERYONE wants Kenzi to be the champ. They all LOVE her, and they couldn't give a shit about me. Despite doing everything the right way, I'm dismissed, while Kenzi The Wicked demands people kiss her feet, and everyone happily oblige.

This whole federation is sick, and it starts at the very top.

I get to my room and open the door. As I step in, I notice the shadow of a man sitting in the desk chair. It's Centurion - he's come to talk about what happened three weeks ago. I wish he would just wait until after my match with Kenzi. This is the kind of shit that distracts people from their ultimate goals. Though...maybe that's the point. Maybe he's here to make sure it's Ruby that takes down Kenzi, and not me.

"Look, Cent, I don't want to talk about it right now, ok? I have a whole lot on my mind."

"I'm not Cent."

The voice that came back was of a woman. A somewhat familiar voice, but one I can not place. The voice was...warm. And calming. And most importantly, it was nonjudgmental. It made me feel…

...safe.

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