Heading to Lila and my apartment, I broke all kinds of speed limits. I'm kinda surprised I didn't get pulled over and arrested or at least, given a ticket. I wasn't thinkin' straight though, I was like a crazed man on a mission and the lack of sleep, didn't help matters. All I knew was that my girl had the wrong idea about me and I needed to prove it wasn't true. I had to provide a grand gesture, even if it wasn't as impressive as I hoped for it to be originally performed, it was imperative that I did something.
When I went through the weapon program, it made me somewhat cold and void of emotion or empathy. Can't take lives, if you're caring about the value of human life and things effect you. That's just not happening. You'd be traumatized. That shit would destroy your mind, eventually. While I still carry the memories of all the things I've done and my closet is jam packed with skeletons, it doesn't hang over my head or haunt me like it would most individuals. That's messed up, I get that and it isn't lost on me but it's like I compartmentalize shit. My past stays in one area of my brain and never does it leak over into my present or affect it. I can talk about it and know that I did some fucked up shit but the realization, doesn't devastate me or keep me up at night.
When I'm with Lila, I try to be different and little by little, I have changed and learned to open up, somewhat and share my feelings. It's still a process though and I guess, I didn't perceive my activities; as of late, were questionable and would raise suspicion within Lila. So now, I had to rectify the situation and perform an act that showed that I loved her, that she was the only one for me and that would never change. I could think of only one thing to do and even if I wasn't properly prepared, there was really nothing more impactful that I could devise and I wanted to make an impression.
The only thing is that I had no idea how it would go over with Lila, how she would react, I didn't exactly have a crystal ball on me and that uncertainty, didn't sit well with me. I always prided myself on knowin' what might lay ahead and anticipating it, that foresight and expectation made me good at what I did. Awesome for being a living weapon, bad in this scenario cause this was completely different. I had zero clue what to suspect and had no choice but to dive head first, straight on in and hope for the best. I had to be hopeful and throw caution to the wind. This was a foreign concept for me but I was going to do it, for Lila.
I arrived at the apartment, totally shocked that my key still worked but hey, that's a positive aspect, right? I took it as a good sign. Entered the apartment and discovered Lila, washing the dishes. From my place standing by the front door, I could see into the living room and observed that my recliner was dismantled. One hundred percent taken apart and in literal pieces. Impressive, that took some dedication. Then I walked over to Lila and spun her around to face me. Probably not the best approach because she was a little more than surprised. Yet, before she said anything, I started immediately talking.
"Look Lila, before you say anything cause by the state of things, I have a feelin' you're going to start screaming again and I really can't deal with that. What I'm about to do is hard enough. Not because I don't wanna to do it, cause I do. It's just this involves a level of emotional intensity that is still difficult for me to provide. Anyways, let me get this out and then, if you still think kicking me out is the best option. So be it."
Taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I sighed and began again.
"I know you're pissed at me right now and maybe you might have some ideas brewin' or your perception about me is askew. I've been busy with work and haven't been around as much and when I'm here. I'm balancing the stuff that I do around here, with extra tasks that require me to bring parts home, from the shop. There's a reason for that but it isn't cause I've lost interest and if there is any doubt in that, there's no need for it. Trust me. I am all in. You are my world and I love you, there is no one I would desire to spend the rest of my life with by my side. Than you. Now, it's early to be declaring this stuff aloud cause I still need to save up some more, in order to pull this off the way I planned, but I'm doing it and it won't take forever. A couple of months, tops."
Pause and a deep breath.
"What I'm trying to tell you is that I want to marry you. It's going to take a little while but I have been saving for the ring... and a house. I wish to do that for you, give you a house to move into right after we're hitched but I can't afford it, yet. For the time being, all I have is this simple gesture but I'm hoping, you take it as the token that it represents. That I'm serious and very real 'bout this. So what do you say?"
That's when I produced this from a pocket on my leather jacket.
Dropped to one knee and asked.
"Will you marry me?"
Lila gazed at what I was presenting her and sorta laughed, then teared up and after the longest fuckin' minute in my entire life, she said.
"Yes."
Accepted the hexagonal machine nut and I slipped it onto her finger. Which was amazing cause I just eyeballed that shit. The fact that it fit her finger was a slight instant of triumph. Although, the aspect that she accepted my proposal with a hex nut, definitely trumped that. From there, I got to my feet and kissed her. When we parted, our eyes met and Lila smiled.
"You're saving up for a ring? And a house?!?! You're planning to buy me... us, a house?!?! For us to move into after we get married?"
"Yep."
"That's all you've been doing lately?"
"Yeah."
"Oh my god, I feel so stupid. I thought..."
Stopped her from finishing that sentence, no reason for her to feel bad, especially now.
"Don't worry about it, I ain't mad at you. All I cared about was fixing things and I could only do that if I let the cat out of the bag and proposed without the real ring."
"Oh my god, I'm getting married! I have to call my dad!"
As she rushed to call her father and tell him the news, I couldn't help but laugh and then, it dawned on me. Azrael Erebus was going to be my father-in-law. What a fucking strange turn of events it's been. That's around when I noticed my broken cell phone (the thing was smashed to bits and the pieces were all over the counter in the kitchen), I accidentally left it behind and apparently it suffered the wrath of Hurricane Lila, when she was still mad at me. Guess I'm going to have to reactivate an old one and I knew exactly which phone to use. Huh? Almost seems fitting, given I was facing Peter Gilmour.
Standing on Rebel Star and Azrael Erebus' porch, cigarette in hand, next to the spaceman who was currently enjoying a cigar, I was havin' a bit of an existential moment. Lila and I had ventured to visit Azrael and Rebel, after my proposal to Lila. While Rebel and Lila were inside, Azrael and I were outside because there was no smoking allowed in the house, due to babies. That's when Azrael turned his attention to me; mid-puff of his stogie, and chuckled as he slightly shook his head.
"Life is certainly peculiar, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is."
"If someone would have told me, when I first joined the XWF that I'd be standing on a porch, next to Griffin 'The Mechanic' MacAlister - the sarcastic stoner, and he was set to become my son-in-law, I wouldn't have believed them. And I had the ability to travel through time then! Still, I wouldn't have bothered to fact check cause I would have thought the person telling me, to be insane."
"Hah! Same. I never pictured this scenario either but to be honest with you, now that I'm living in it, this isn't so bad. It almost seems like fate. Like it was meant to happen. Cuz I couldn't envision being with anyone but Lila."
"You've changed a lot since the day I first encountered you, in the halls of the main XWF building."
"Some things change, some things stay the same."
I removed my cell phone, from the inner pocket of my leather jacket. It was an older model that I reactivated, for the time being. A Nokia. Then I pressed the button that played this ring tone.
I dong worship the devil!
Talk about a blast from the past. Peter Gilmour's voice emanated from the phone and both Az and I, shared a laugh as I shoved the phone back into my pocket.
"I couldn't resist bustin' this phone out, for nostalgia value. After all, Gilly is one of my three opponents on the next edition of Warfare."
Left the aspect of Lila destroying the newer model that I had, out of my explanation, her dad didn't need to know. Yet somehow, he seemed to understand anyway because then, he responded with these words. With an arched eyebrow and a smirk, no less.
"Nostalgia value? Interesting."
However, he left it at that and changed the subject.
"Listen, I have to tell you that I fully intend to fund the wedding, whenever that occurs."
"Soon. Really soon. Except you don't have to do that."
"I have an inclination to do this act, besides, I heard somewhere, it's a tradition on Earth. Father of the bride pays. Plus I'm loaded, can't live as long as I have and not be wealthy but mostly, it's because I want to do it. I'm also very stubborn and won't take no, for an answer."
"Okay, man. Go for it then. Much obliged to ya for doing it too."
"Griffin, I want you to know, in spite of what I said earlier, that doesn't change the fact that I see you as part of my family. Although I've felt that way for awhile now and I'm not the only one. You made quite the impression; however, I intended to make it a point to say this aloud because I feel it needs to be said. Welcome to the family, I couldn't have picked a better man, to marry my daughter."
It was then he offered his hand out, I accepted the gesture and we shook hands but it didn't end there, Azrael pulled me in for a hug. It was brief and a struggle to stop myself from laughing, out of the sheer random nature of that happening. I never expected this, at the same time it was appreciated, nonetheless.
"I smoke too damn much"
"Anyways,I got a match comin' up on the next edition of Warfare - Triple Threat X-Treme Rules against Peter 'The Parm King' Gilmour and Shawn Wylde - The Whyte Spyder. While I know Gilly rather well. I got no clue what the deal is with that White Spyder fuckwad, besides the fact that he runs around lookin' like a god damn fool. Dressed in footie pajamas and a mask. That's really... um, swell dude. Personally, I can't see how folks go around in full body costumes, seems a bit much if you ask me. A lot of unnecessary effort. What's it all for? Identity concealment? You afraid of folks finding out who you are? Well, that went out the window as soon as you released your real name and showed your face, on camera."
"You've been putting out videos without the attire, since you started. There's even footage you didn't need to release. Or is it that the XWF camera imps, really like following your ass around and you don't even realize that footage exists? Cause you've only had one previous match and it was at High Stakes. So it's not like it was done, when they invaded your privacy and filmed you because you got a match coming up, as they often like to do. Fuckin' creepy bastards. This is just random footage. Also, what's with the mental patient that lives with you and why is your relationship so relaxed, this guy's walking into your bedroom in the middle of the night, while your fuckin' sleepin' and going into the bathroom, when you're in the shower? That's weird."
"I never had my male friends traipsing in and outta my bathroom and bedroom, at all hours of the night, while I'm occupying those areas. Dudes never barge in when I'm asleep or butt ass naked in the shower. This goes for back before I was living with my lady as well, I've lived with men before and that didn't happen. Then again, I knew how to use a lock and the guys I stayed with understood the concept of boundaries. But maybe I'm lookin' at this the wrong way, it could be that you want this broken brained bastard, crashing in and catching eyefuls of your junk, is that it? You like it when the fucktard stumbles in? That's pretty sick man. Using a mentally ill person for your cheap thrills. That ain't right."
"Lets switch gears here and talk about how things stack up regarding our upcoming match. Now I've dished out punishment in the ring and I've taken it. Won and lost. The solitary thing that remains the same, I always leave my mark. I specialize in boot parties and stomping fuckin' skulls in. It's what I do and what I'm remembered for to this very day. I'll get in that ring and leave a lasting impression, even if I don't win the match."
"People crave ruthless aggression in wrestling, especially in X-Treme matches and I give it to them. Willingly and with immense pleasure cause I love a good fight. To throw down and kick the shit out of a motherfucker. Yeah! Give me some good ol' ultra violence! Being a living weapon, doesn't hurt either. Helps with the recovery factor, among other things. Cause I have taken on some real damage, even when I won and I work as a mechanic, own a shop too. Haven't missed a day yet."
"Shawn Wylde, you're new to the company, with one match under your belt. A preshow match at High Stakes, that you lost. While you didn't get pinned, you didn't have your arm raised in victory either. This is your second fight. Everything's new to you. It would be in your best interest, not to underestimate me. That sorta thing will lead to your downfall because I won't hold back, based on the fact that you're brand new to the XWF. Even if you wrestled elsewhere, that slate is wiped clean, when you walk through the doors of this company."
"This is the XWF. Folks don't mess around, I don't fuck around and you are in a whole world of pain, if you make the mistake of not taking this match seriously. Of not taking me, seriously. That's how you find yourself, laying in the dead center of the canvas, a mangled mess. Choking on your own blood and half conscious. Broken bones, various fractures, all bloody and suffering multiple concussions. Just ask Peter Gilmour, he's been hit in the head so many times, he thinks he's in a relationship with a woman, when it's clearly a man. It takes him fifteen minutes to put on a sweater. I once seen him frolicking down the halls of the main XWF building, chasing a hoop with a stick. Giggling. Do you know what it's like to see a grown man giggle? It's frightening stuff. Then there's this..."
Griffin pulls out his cell phone. The old Nokia phone from years prior. Since his other phone was destroyed, he's resorted to using this one for the time being and he pushes a button on it to play his ring tone.
I dong worship the devil!
"That's Peter's voice, by the way. He admitted to dong worshiping the devil, yet he has zero recollection of doing this act. That's what happens when you get hit in the head, one too many times, Shawn. You say and do fucked up, wackball shit."
Griffin slides his phone into his pocket.
"Since I brought Peter up, I'm going to talk to him now."
"Peter! Oh man! How many times have we fought each other? Gone toe to toe and battled it out? Ha! I lost track. I know it's a lot though. Bested ya every time too."
"Although, there were brief instances, we teamed up as well. For instance, when I joined Duke's Brotherhood. Back when you made Sebastian go into total fuckin' bankruptcy with your Chicken Parm consumption. Another horrifying experience to witness, you eating tray after tray of On-Cor Chicken Parmesan. It was unnatural, I had to get stoned, that's the only way I could attend Duke's meetings and he held A LOT of them for some reason. Around a large table in a conference room. Half the time, I didn't know what he was going on about. There were graphs and pie charts, sometimes additional small scale models. I didn't know if he was plotting missions or trying to sell time shares or what the fuck he was doing. So there was that going on, confusing the ever loving shit out of me and you, covered in tomato sauce, stuffing a seemingly endless supply of Chicken Parmesan, down your gullet. Those were some truly terrifying times."
"Then there was the night Shane, made us fight a bear. To form Team Peter Griffin."
"So you see, we haven't only been adversaries, we were just mostly opponents. Time and time again, you swore you'd be victorious and every time you'd fail, do you think this time it'll be different? Y'know what Peter. Fuck it. I'm so damn tired of beating you down, I think I might give you the win. Toss you right onto Shawn Wylde's limp, motionless body. For the pin. What do you think, Peter? Should I do that and be the nice guy for a change? It is almost Christmas, after all."
"Nah. Hahahaha! That isn't happening!"
"Where's the fun in that?!?! I bet I had you going there for a minute. All hopeful and happy. Rushing to make a celebration tray of Parm, which isn't really different from a regular one. No, Peter... I enter these matches to cause as much destruction as possible, it's my therapy in a way. I'd have to get a brain transplant or endure a lobotomy, in order to do anything else. You're invited to the same boot party that I'm throwing for Shawn, it's gonna be loads of fun too. For me. For y'all it's only going to involve a lot of agony, bloodshed, bruises and broken bones."
"See ya in the ring fellas!"
Title History
3x X-Treme Champion
1x (and 1st ever) North Korean Champion (Now the Television Title/X-Bux Championship)
1x Tag Team Champion (Longest reigning tag team champion @273 days. 231 w/Sebastian Duke and 42 solo)