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Jim "the Jim" Jimson · (12-05-2020)

Jim and Jim are just chilling in the void

Jim Jimson: Hey Jim.

Jim Jimson: Yea Jim.

Jim Jimson: Wake up.

Jim Jimson: huh?

Charile: Wake up.

Jim Jimson flicks back into reality as Charlie wakes him up. Jim and Charlie are sitting in the waiting room in the XWF Headquarters, they have been summoned to a meeting.

Jim Jimson: Jesus man, get the fuck out of here, narrator!

Charlie: YEAH! GO FUCK YOURSELF, NARRATOR! GO SUCK SOME FAT COCKS YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

The XWF Stooge taps on the wall to get the attention of both Jim and Charlie

XWF Stooge: I’d like for both of you to walk into my office. That is why you woke up, Jim, but then you both kinda just.... Started yelling at the roof….

Charlie and Jim walk in an sit down at the desk of the XWF Stooge

XWF Stooge: Ok so, Jim, Charlie. You have been some of the fastest rising tag teams in the XWF over the past months.

Jim Jimson: We have been the only tag team in the XWF.

XWF Stooge: None the less. You’ve both been rising fast, both of you have had your stock increased lately.

Jim starts to look abit perturbed

XWF Stooge: The XWF wants to create a merchandise line for D.D.S

Charlie: How much would we get paid for it?

XWF Stooge: These are the projected charts for the sales after the first 9 months.

The stooge passes 2 copies of a piece of paper with words and stuff on it, Jim can’t read so he pretends to read it while copying charlie’s movements

Charlie: It looks good to me! Can’t wait to make a fuck ton of money of these dumb ass fans!

Jim Jimson: I can’t sign this deal, it makes no sense. Who’s going to buy merchandise of me, when nobody likes nor hates nor cares about me. I’m a jobber!

XWF Stooge: Well actually, you Jim, have actually started to gain a small cult following lately, with this new tag team you’ve been moved from opening bout matches to number one contendership bouts and have gotten a few main event spots on Savage shows.

Jim Jimson: I TOLD YOU ALREADY! I’m a jobber, not a midcarder, certainly not a main eventer, I’m in those main events because of Charlie, I’m kinda just there. *deep breathe*

Can’t anyone get through a SINGLE day without some bozo trying to make him thousands of dollars!

Jim looks genuinely annoyed

XWF Stooge: Oh.. well of course, you wouldn’t be in main events without teaming with Charlie, but it takes two people to tango and you seem to make one hell of a tag team together and with tag team division starting to pick up you might be in the middle of a heated and competitive division.

Jim Jimson: No…. NO! This can’t be!

Jim falls out of his chair and is crawling on the floor, tears coming from his eyes, as Charlie seems to just watch

XWF Stooge: You’re no longer a Jobber, Jimson.

Jim Jimson: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHY BUDDHUA WHY!!!!

Charlie: Wait, Jim. You buddist?

Jim Jimson: Yes, of course, if you looked into it you’d find that it shows us the path to true enlightenment. Wait where was I?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im a star in the XWF Now!

XWF Stooge: Well, you’re not a star, no not in the slightest, no where near a star, you’re kinda just a lower mid card act teamed up with an actual star.

Jim Jimson: THAT’S EVEN WORSE! I’m just slightly outside of the gates of greatness and jobber glory, not accepted by the people I call my own. What will the jobber community think of me? What do my friends and family think? THIS IS FUCKING TERRIBLE!! MY CAREER IS RUINED!

Jim storms out of the office

Charlie: Oh for fuck sake, Jim! Just sign the merchandise deal

Charlie just wants to get Jim to sign the merchandise deal so he can make money leaves the office in an attempt to console Jim.

Charlie: Come on. Being in the tag team division is pretty terrible, it took us to make a tag team for some other people to try and copy our success, whores like Atara and Becky!

Jim Jimson: That’s even worse! That means that we not only were a great tag team we got a bunch of copies to try and re-create our success! Atara she used to be great, she was legit a universal championship contender, then she was a legit shooting star contender…… and then she was…………. Just atty. And now she’s back with atty 2, Becky herself! She was fighting for the shooting star championship, she even tapped out Jenny Myst! She got hit on the face and taken off her feet by Ash Quinn of all people. CAN YOU BELIEVE PEOPLE THAT GREAT, COPIED US?!?!?!

Charlie: Yeah. I can’t believe it

Jim Jimson: Jesus…. My jobber career is over, there are people that like me. WWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Charlie: Urrrh. For fuck sake, Jim…. he says quietly to himself

?: Hey, Jim you suck!

Jim looks up at the voice to see the physical embodiment of a peter Gilmour fan. Fat and wearing a shirt saying “this is what a male feminist looks like”.

The only Peter Gilmour fan: You’re the worst wrestler in the entire XWF! You’re a fucking loser and you suck! You’ll never be a champion. EVER!

Charlie: You wanna repeat that again asshole?

Jims face changes from agony to joy

Jim Jimson: YOU’RE RIGHT I AM NEVER GOING TO WIN A TITLE! I AM A SHIT WRESTLER!

The only Peter Gilmour fan: Hmp. Good to know that you’re self-aware loser! No. Women that don’t want to go on a date with me are losers. You’re a jobber!

Jim Jimson: YESSSSSS!!!!! I AM A JOBBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim hugs the only peter Gilmour fan

Jim Jimson: I AM A JOBBER! I KNEW THAT XWF STOOGE WAS WRONG!!!

Charlie: You know what would stick it to that stooge? Signing that merchandise deal.

Jim Jimson: YEA! You're right! Imagine his face when nobody buys the merch, he'll never tell anyone that I'm not a good for nothing jobber ever again!

Charlie: Yea... just make sure to sign it with your signature, Jim.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Jim is the ultimate jobber! Don't listen to any others!
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