"Hey Now"

It had been many, many, maaaaaany moons since anyone last heard from our boy Greggo. One minute, he was on top of the world as the manager of the Universal Champion... the next, he was just as forgotten as she was. After all, what's a manager of champions without said champion? Could Greggo find a way to move forward in the XWF without his precious Sarah Lacklan there to reap the benefits of his constant meddling in the affairs of her opponents? Ah, but if there's no opponent of hers for him to sabotage and poison, perhaps there's something even better? A connection to vengeance that's been granted unexpectedly? If Kenzi's too lazy and stupid to get revenge for Sarah, perhaps ol Greggo can work his way up that ladder!

Let's catch up with Greggo now, shall we? I think he's right over...........

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​​🎷​🎵​"Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you."​🎷​​🎵​





​🎷​​🎵​"Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you."​🎷​​🎵​





​🎷​​🎵​"Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you."​🎷​​🎵​




Who's that singing? Greggo? Is that you?

But our boy didn't answer. Nobody did. And why would anyone? Why would they answer a narrator that only you, the viewer, can hear? Come on now, don't be stupid. I'd be pretty surprised is anyone could do that, you fucking dick. But just before you can get upset with me, that voice rings out again...

"Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you."

It had to be the XWF's sexiest self-proclaimed male manager alive, Greggo. Nobody else would be here at the barn this late on a Friday night. The hogs, chickens, horses, cows, and lemurs are undisturbed by the voice of Greggo getting closer, closer, closer......

"Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you."

But it was one specific chicken in particular that would be first to scream for help. That chicken would be the lucky one. There it was, cradled under Greggo's arm as he wrung its bloody neck. Our boy gets a little bit funky on the vocals but the lyrics remain...

"Hey now, hey now I'm aw-haaaaw-aaaaaw-aaaaaall around you, rhaaaa-haaaaa-ound you."

Despite the chicken obviously being completely and utterly DEAD already, Greggo continues with another... "Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you," aaaaand then just whips the dumb bird as hard as he can against the face of a nearby horse.

A young girl limps into the barn, twitching and shaking like she's suffering some sort of attack. She falls at Greggo's feet and he does, indeed, unzip his fly and piss all over the bitch.

"Gurl I done told you I ain't Jesus Christ but you won't listen so now you have to be baptized in my glorious golden holy piss."

It's worth noting that this poor girl appears to have at least one... um... hole drilled into her head...? It's not a fresh wound but definitely a big ass hole in her cranium. Why? Greggo. That's why.

"Mmmmmmm, drinky drinky my lil dove."

Greggo begins aiming his stream of piss into the open hole in the girls skull. He turns to the camera and smiles!

"Oh-La, Hanari-wa son!"

Ah, he's obviously taking a moment to address his opponent this week. For some reason or another, urinating into the gaping head wound of a very young looking girl who looks to be , made Greggo think about Hanari Carnes. Alright then.

"Cunteecheewa, my fellow Japaneesh starfucker, I see we have much in common!"

No clue what this dude's talking about. Oh and he's still pissing into the girl's head.

"You like to take time off fer some gooood ol relief and relaxsexsation just like I do. See I been my eye on you boi and guess what."

He was delivering a statement, not a question.

"That's right, you guessed it Hanari, you n' me are like to pee in a pod. Problem is the pod only has room for the one piss sac's worth'a piss. So what happens next is you n' me got a real problem. See here?"

Greggo shakes himself off. The convulsing, screaming girl is no longer convulsing or screaming. She's quite calm and content looking after receiving her dose.

"See how calm she be's? Well you here with me right now would'a meant us fighting over her piss hole with our dicks out like cyber swords and light sabers, ya dig? Ain't no peace and relaxation then! Our gurl here would be pissin' herself instead of melting into an orgasmic ball of sexytime goo right now boy. You hear?"

Ah, so Greggo does have a point here. Sure his delivery is a little off putting and his props might need some adjustments to fit today's PC world, but I get it. That means you get it too. Greggo's basically saying that since he and Hanari are exactly the same type of disgusting filth, there's only room for one of them, especially when it comes to any acts of passion and sexual pisscapades. Frankly put, Mr. Carnes, you will not be depositing your urine into Greggo's lobotomized whore's brain, no matter how well dressed you are when you arrive for the pisstivities.

Greggo's female friend starts trying to stand up, looking like a baby deer on brand new legs but instead of having a loving mother looking on in support we have Greggo just smacking this bitch upside the head to knock her face down in a pile of shit laden hay.

"Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you."

Well, he wasn't lying. He was singing anything but lies as many times as it took for them to stick.

"Get up bitch."

He reaches toward her, grabbing at her arm but then palming the back of her skull and pressing her face first into the pile of shit hay.

"Lay there bitch."

Greggo steps on her back, walking over her and heading over to the nearest goat, which is matching his speed as it walks away from him worriedly.

"Now people I don't want you to get the wrong idea herez. I ain't no killer, no kinda rapist, no sick pedo freak, none of that ok? That kinda shit is my bag. Or uh wait, ain't. Ain't my bag. Zip nada zilch. I don't want any dumb wannabe armchair cops and lawyers giving me grief on the twitter machines and on the instant grams, or anywhere else for that matter! What you see here in these footages we air is all just fun and games. No worries. No animals or men were harmed in the making of the god forsaken RP (recorded promo) yer watching right now. How the fuck yer still here is beyond me but whatevs, guess I gotta fill a little more time here."

Greggo checks his RP gauge, which is basically a broken watch that he keeps around his left ankle. He uses it to tell how many steps he's got so far for this RP so he doesn't accidentally walk over the limit, which would of course not matter one bit in his case because, yeah.

"Mmmmm, mmmmm, gooooood. I gotta lotta time left in the tank. I think I covered all the big check box marks already tho. I laid the hate pipe down on Hanari's tonsils just a lil' but not too much since I know he has that SICK gag reflex, and I added the disclaimer to shut the criminal justice warriors up 'bout my relationship wit my friend over here."

Greggo runs back over to that girl and throws a warm cow pie in her face. "Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you." And kicks her in her chest, causing her breasts to pop out of her bra!

"We all's got to adapt, Hanari."

Yup, Greggo's talking to Hanari while motor-boating this recently convulsing bitch's tig ol bitties to kingdom come and back!

"We all gotta change, cuz. Heck even me, just look at me! Look at me you sexy casanova. I adapt, I grow, I become. What about you though, Carnes? Don't you just lose all the time? Meanwhile I've lost more matches than I forgot. You forget I managed the strongest and most dominant Universal World Champion of all time without so much as having to appear in one of her promos. Know why?"

"Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you."

"Yup I'm that good. Know how? Try this on for size then."

"Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you."

"Ya see when it comes down to the brass snacks and the ass tacks, my crack don't sass for you. I don't need to be where you or they or any dang one says I need to be. I'm everythaaaang, man. I'm your love and your hate."

Narrator check-in: Yes Greggo's still motor-boating this entire time.

"Ya see Hanari, guys like me n' you we might be the same pee in the same pod by day, but what about by night? Son the energies change when every vibration the sun and moon send our way and you think our by day measurements can stand to test with our by nightlies?"

He shoves the tits away from him in a hurry and gets all up in the camera, grabbing it and attempting to.... motor... boat... it?

So, that didn't work. He scraped up his nose a bit, but he's fine. He's got this. A few blinks and a long gaze leads us to the moment Greggo remembers we need to close out this lousy ass RP ( promo).

"Hanari my name is Greggo Lacklan and I'ma tell you one thing. I don't know right from wrong no more. I don't know who's up and who's down. The way my client Sarah got screwed over out of her title by someone that might just be your closeted buttfuck buddy without benefits makes me worry. It makes me worry real bad, Hanari. Like worry I might take it out on you what I know my sexy Sarah wants to see happen to Chris Chaos. Sarah and I both know Kenzi is too useless, lazy, oafish, and gorilla-handed to ever take her selfish ass off Anarchy and get revenge for Sarah but you mark my wordums, Hanari, I will find a way to make the people who hurt my client feel the hurt that I'm gonna put deep inside'a you when we cross the path. It doesn't matter how you smell when we meet, Hanari. Make my mouth water all you want. Make me want to taste those sizzling meats and those tantalizing seasonings on my tongue all you want, Hanari. It won't matter when I resist the urge to take you in my lips, bitchtits. All that's gonna matter is me drilling holes in your skull so I can render you my fuckdoll and make you worth'a damn around here. Whoops did I say that out loud?"

He amps up his vocal cords, "Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you!!!"

Greggo winks but then seems to remember one last thing. He looks around for a piece of shit and shows it to the camera before nibbling it. Something was off about that, though. It's almost like he had to TRY to remember the part about the shit just now? Is Greggo losing his focus? Or gaining something worse?
















🎷​​🎵​"Hey now, hey now I'm a-aaaall around you, round you."🎷​​🎵​

🎷​​🎵​"Hey now, open yer heart I can sing through you, through you."🎷​​🎵