Every god damn day that I step into that locker room I get no respect. I don't get respect from the boys, I don't get respect from the fans, and I don't even get respect from the sorry son of a bitch that cleans Bourbon's shits off the toilet seat for a living (I think their name is Barney?). I main evented my first ever pay per view. I am the television champion. I've won seven fights in a row. But motherfuckers still put more stock in Betsy Granger and Marf Simpson than they do Charlie?

Predictable.

You're all a bunch of pussies, content to cower in the shadows and laugh at the misfortunes of the bold. You're all pathetic. You're nothing more than the dog shit I have to step on to get where I need to be. Where I deserve to be.

So which one of you turds wants to toughen up for a five minute squash match on the Savage Christmas Show? Give me your best shot. Name your best Christmas (NOT Hanukah or fucking Kwanza) stipulation and tell me why you deserve to get the shit kicked out of you by a champion. Whoever names the Xmas stipulation that will give me the highest television ratings will get to go one on one with the television champion.

Atty and Big D said the title won't be on the line, so don't even think about it. But if you last more than five minutes in that ring with me? Well then, I might just give you a shot at the gold after I smack down Israel Fairyboy.

Which one of you ninnies is up to the challenge?

It IS the best time of year!

Doc hands Charlie a stamp bag of heroin when you folded and substance cleared reveals details of a match.


Rudolph's Revenge - Lumberack match with meat-fed reindeer on pcp as the lumberjacks.

Rooftop Clatter Spectacular - match takes place on a large, steep, snowy rooftop. Winner is the first to stuff their opponent down the chimney.

Santa's Killshop - weapons much consisting of hammers, saws, those old heavy ass sharp as shit dollhouses, jack in a boxes, wooden rocking horses, etc.

"I'll go for Doc's second option. Thank you Doctor, you are as always helpful, wise and wonderful. It'll be.... ahahahaha! Israel Fairyboy... by the sanctioned gods, I have never been entertained so much, by such a poor attempt at slander, since my encounters with the Feders. When they would call me 'Fruity Starfish' as an insult. Puh-a-leez. Are you for real, right now? Anyway me vs Charlie... a prelude to my victory over a fucking backwoodsman. Whaddya say Chuck? Od ouy evol ti?"

2x Universal Champion (First reign was less than a day though, lol. Due to Sebastian Duke cashing in his briefcase.)
2x Tag Team Champion
3x Triple Tag Team Champion
1x Television Champion
2x US Champion (Title retired during my second reign as champ.)
2x X-Treme Champion
1x Bombshell Champion
2x HMW Champion
2x SOTM

Doc is stifled.

Move along, Spaceman. Find your own Xmas joy.

Xmas chaos match - Santa elves and reindeers at r I gsude and can be used as weapons..santa as ref

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion

Nutcracker match the first to render the other ball less wins!! Can’t do it but it’s funny

Chestnut Match- ring set on fire try not to get roasted on an open fire

(12-01-2020, 08:09 AM)Doctor Louis DVille Said: Rooftop Clatter Spectacular - match takes place on a large, steep, snowy rooftop. Winner is the first to stuff their opponent down the chimney.

It's me and you, Cruella D'ville. Make sure you run and tell Atticus to put a barbed wire and Christmas light fence up around the roof. I don't want your ninny ass hopping down into the snowbanks at the first sight of your own blood.

Can the barbed-wire be decorated with Xmas lights??

Oswald yawns before rolls his shoulders, snapping his fingers as a list appears.

"Deck the Halls, a match where we find the most oldest building in the UK, and beat the shit out of each other inside of it while trying to put on the best festive decorations inside of it, using all the Christmas equipment, from lights of all kinds, to inflatable Christmas decorations. Once we think we're done making the most ultimate Christmas decoration, the referee assigns one of us the winner by using a barometer of how much Christmas spirit he or she is feeling upon looking at our displays.

Three Stages of Christmas: This requires my powers or the power of Phantom Panzer. We send ourselves into the past, present and future. Beating each other up while learning of the spirit of Christmas. Winner is the person who will live the longest as they look at the tombstones.

Santa's Hell Ride: An army of Santas ride on candy cane looking motorcycles around us in a circle as we beat the fuck out of each other. Have to submit or if you throw your opponent into the Santa motorcycle "moat" and the person can't climb back inside the fighting pit.

There's some more, but I feel like these are the ones you'd like the most."