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Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson · **06-21-2013, 05:38 PM**

The Rock Says he wants to tell you a story. The Story of The Rock's change in life.

It all started during filming of The Hangover 7 when the quick failing movie franchise had hired The Rock to reinvigorate the appeal and quality to the movies, much like what happen back when Fast 5 was announced.

The Rock flew out to Thailand for filming but was amazed to realise that the directors and producers had completely lost faith in there star actors. Zach Galifinakis didn't care like he used to after landing the role of Clark Kent in the other new Superman remake. Bradley Cooper was so invested in his new live action Scooby Doo tv series in which he has be portraying the role of Shaggy to high acclaim.

Due to the fact that the directors and producers had no faith in the actors to even care about putting on a good performance, they decided to film it all live, in Thailand. They were feeding the actors drugs and alcohol and letting them run loose upon Bangkok whilst being followed and filmed.

The Rock had never experienced such a thing and was uneasy about the whole situation. So uneasy that he attempted to boycott the movie and name and shame everyone who was involved with the unsavoury behaviour.

It was only when as an apology the director asked Rocky to go out to dinner with him, that The Rock understood what was going on and began to understand what life was about!

It'S TIME TO PARTY PEOPLE!

Rocky and the director went out for dinner alright but it wasn't the type of dinner The Rock expected, no this dinner The Rock was eating nothing but a banana out of a hookers lilac. At some point during the evening Zach, Bradley and the other dentist guy showed up, Ed Helms thats it, Ed Helms was his name. The Rock remembers Zach Galifinakis buying him a drink but nothing else of the evening. Can you believe it.... Yes well you should because when all your little butt waddled down to the movie theatre to watch the movie everything you saw is what happened that night. Yes The Rock did ride an elephant completely naked in the middle of the street screaming, "I love peanut butter but most of all I love Elephants and the other friends from the Ark.

Anyway it was on this night that The Rock realised it is good to let your hair down, enjoy yourself once in a while and most importantly that drink and drugs are good, I mean reaaaalllllyyy good. Another thing happened when The Rock was in Thailand, it is something he doesn't like talking about but seeing as The Rock loves you all he will tell all.

Whilst in Thailand The Rock met the love of his life, a beautiful girl named Ava. She was almost perfect. Unfortunately it all had to end between Ava and The Rock and its something that has haunted The Rock ever since. You see even The new Rock has some rules to live by, well he has one rule that Unfortunatly cost The Rock the love of his life. It's much like Batmans one rule where he can't kill anybody even though I'm sure sometimes he would love too. You see The Rock didn't mind the language barrier between the Rock and Ava, no that was fine, actually quite good fun. The Rock didn't even mind that she was a raging alcoholic, no that didn't bother the new found Rock either, mainly because it was fun. The Rock and Ava did have a hell-lota fun. Heck you know what The Rock didn't even care that Ava had changed her name and her real name was Keith. That's right she used to be a man but that was ok too, the one rule The Rock has though is...

You should never date a girl with a bigger schlong than you!!!

Now with years filling the corners of The Rock eyes and his heart feeling heavy within his chest The Rock is telling you that unfortunately like The Rock, Ava-Keith had been blessed with a monster that would put Paul Heymans belly to shame. It was huge.

The Rock lost the love of his life because of that rules I now he is making up for it twofold and enjoying everything hat life brings his way no matter how big or small The Rock appreciates what everybody is cookin.

Well except all the muppets taking part in the Battle Royal with The Rock on Saturday Night, he doesn't appreciate what they are cookin but he does advise them to line up real nice because this is gonna be one big hide the schlong orgy.

Oooosssshhhhh.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode "Battle Royal" The slimmed down version of The Rock's big change.
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