**Audition**

Your screen shows Thunder Knuckles’s face zoomed in on.


You’re all wondering. Why did Thunder Knuckles fire Jimmy’s ass? I’ll tell you. I don’t work the Warfare show. Smoking Bob, no not the fucking cool BOB that I’m a member of, but the weaselly mother fucker who still owes me TWO THOUSAND xbux for winning some bullshit Highland Games. The shot put event and caber toss event, to be fucking exact. Jimmy calls me all frantic wanting me to shoot a fucking promo. He never expected me to be where-the-fuck I was.


Thunder Knuckles winks to the camera and it starts pulling away from Thunder Knuckles’s face.


With that fucking said, what we’re going to do is, some fucking questions. Alright first up.





Thunder Knuckles looks across his desk to someone sitting in front of him, six feet apart, properly socially distanced.


Okay, first fucking up we have Richard.

Actually, it’s Nate.


Thunder Knuckles smiles.


Wasn’t even close, huh? Where are you from?


Capitola, California.

Really?

Well a smaller town next to Capitola, Pacif-


Thunder Knuckles seems turned off by this.


Gross.


Nate seems uncomfortable.


Next!


Nate doesn’t move.


Next, mother fucker, That means leave Richard.

Na-

I don’t fucking care. Get the fuck out of here.


Nate stands up and sulks out of the room. After Nate’s exit, a woman walks into the room.





Nice tits, Sugar.


She rolls her eyes and immediately walks out of the room. Someone else follows in, this time, it’s a man.





What’s your name?

Steven.

Well, Steven, if that is your real fucking name. Where you from?

Ohio.

Oh yeah. What part?

Willard.

Willard, Ohio. Hmm isn’t that where all the Mexicans are? Fucking working at the Wiers? Picking fucking been and corn so good upstanding white people don't have to break their backs, but fucking bitch. That the illegals are taking their fucking jobs?


Steven smiles and simply says,


That’s Willard.


Thunder Knuckles shrugs knowing that shrugging can win you a Universal Championship someday.


Well, I have some important shit to fucking attend to and need someone to scout my opponents. Think you can do that Stevie?

I don’t see why not?

Good! You’re fucking hired then! Come back in three hours and give me the rundown.


Steven seems very happy that he just got the job. The camera zooms back in on Thunder Knuckles, but not as close this time. The camera catches a peek of a paper on Thunder Knuckle’s desk. It reads: Jackson Hart, printed quite large on the letterhead with a picture attached to it held on with a paperclip. Thunder Knuckles quickly picks up the stack of paperwork and shuffles them into place.


Okay, fuck off! We’ll hear back from fucking Steven later, cameraman. I’ve got a fucking job to do.


Thunder Knuckles waves off the cameraman and the screen fades to Jimmy.

**Meeting**

Jimmy is completely by himself walking around some high-rise businesses. It looks like he’s looking at the addresses on the buildings. Jimmy notices the XWF camera crew.


Oh, Hey guys… Yeah, I don’t work for Thunder Knuckles anymore. So you don't have to follow me around.


The cameraman still just leaves the camera on Jimmy.


I guess because you’re here and all. Maybe, you can help me find 651 West Broad Street?


The cameraman points across the busy street.


Cool, thanks!


Jimmy walks across the street as the cameraman follows. Jimmy looks back and sees the cameraman following him.


Seriously, you can quit following me. I’m headed for a support group.


Jimmy stops walking once they both make it to the other side of the road.


I’m going to a support group for abused sidekicks. I think it’ll help. You know, with my firing.


The cameraman doesn’t make a sound but notices a small piece of paper in Jimmy's hand.


Oh, this? This is just the room number. Room 999, wrote it down. Didn’t want to forget.


Jimmy walks into the building with the cameraman in tow.


Fine, but this isn’t going to be as entertaining as a Thunder Knuckles promo would be. That’s on you cameraman. Vinnie is going to be pissed you used all this time on someone who doesn’t work with that company anymore.


Jimmy quietly walks past room after room from that point. Until he finds room 999. The pair walk into the room, Jimmy first. As the cameraman enters the room. You see chairs in a circle, center room, a table is behind all the chairs, the table has coffee and doughnuts. It appears that a scantily dressed woman is crying in the corner, with her hands, that look to be burnt, covering her face. You can hear her sobbing.


What is this? Are we the only ones here? Me and this lady?


The cameraman didn't budge or offer any opinion. Jimmy goes and sits at one of the chairs in the center of the room. A kind-looking lady walks up to Jimmy.


I think you’re lost.

No, Mam. This is room 999, correct?

Yes.


The lady says to Jimmy.


But this is an abused women’s meeting. That over there. That’s Roxy Cotton. Her husband made her wrestle a match where she was caught on fire.


Oh, man. I was looking for the abused sidekick meeting...

It’s alright, honey. You’re in the right building but the wrong room. You want room 666. This happens all the time.


Jimmy looks down at his scrap of paper. He turns it upside down, and it reads 666.


I’m sorry. Well, good luck with that.


Jimmy gets up and walks out of the room. The cameraman follows but not before looking back at Roxy Cotton again who is still uncontrollably sobbing in the corner. The two men make it to the right room this time. The door swings open and we see a few more people in this room. They’re all wearing name tags. This room is laid out the same as the last with one difference: there's a table set up to get a name tag. That way everyone knows your name not who you’re a sidekick for. Jimmy walks around the room. He sees a name tag that says Todd and instantly recognizes him and waves, Todd waves back. Another gentleman is standing by the coffee pouring everyone a cup. His name tag simply says “Bartender” he must have been a drunks sidekick. Another name, one that catches the eye of Jimmy, reads Jimmy as well. He points at Jimmy and says,


Your name is Jimmy too? How weird is that? Who were you a sidekick for?


The other Jimmy says,


It’s more common than you think. I’m not the only one either. But to answer your question, Theo Pryce.


Jimmy looks mortified.


I’m… I’m so sorry.


Theo’s, Jimmy shrugs.


It is, what it is.


The camera fades back to Thunder Knuckles.

**Three Hours Later**

Thunder Knuckles, who is still looking down at his desk, reading whatever paperwork he’s working on. He seems very focused on whatever it is. Steven walks in and is prepared to tell Thunder Knuckles about his opponents. Thunder Knuckles looks up.


This better be fucking good.


Steven smiles at Thunder Knuckles.


I believe you’ll be pleased. I compiled everything that I could about Felix Jones and Peter Gilmour.

Well?


Thunder Knuckles shuffles the scattered papers on his desk back into place and puts them into a folder.


Here's what I know about Felix Jones. He’s been gone since sometime at or near the War Games Pay-Per-View.


Thunder Knuckles looks annoyed.


I also found out this is his first match back in awhile.

This mother fucker gets an opportunity a the Hart Championship because?

That I’m not sure. Why he deserves it? No, I'm sorry.


Thunder Knuckles is becoming more uneasy but not letting his temper take control.





Not that I can. I’m literally showing up to get paid. I plan on losing.

What?


Steven said shocked.


I don’t work the Warfare show. Not til I’m fucking paid what I'm owed. So, what's the point of winning?


Steven quickly shoots back with urgency.


You don’t want to lose, Thunder Knuckles! Peter Gilmour would win if you lose! You can’t let that happen! Peter Gilmour, SUCKS!





Thunder Knuckles has finally lost it and he slaps Steven so hard spit flies out of his mouth. Steven is in shock holding the side of his face, just before cowardly and sniveling saying the words.


I quit.

No, mother fucker! You were fired the second you said Peter Gilmour sucks! He’s a fucking Legend, get the fuck out of here! I have more important shit to do, than deal with this! What the fuck, Cameraman? I'm not fucking preaching! You can fuck off too!


The camera abruptly cuts off leaving you with the image of Thunder Knuckles looking back down, opening his folder.