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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » High Stakes Battle Royale RP Board
#5: The Missing Sixth
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ALIAS Offline
Space Jesus



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
11-25-2020, 04:39 AM

5A: Other Steve

The sun’s glare partially obscures the drowned rat of a man. An unfamiliar peace is sculpted into the portions of his face that are visible. There is no rage or fury – the horror show has ended. This the plain, generic man, bleeding heart and all.

Not the puppet.

“I need to apologise.

I’ve been uncouth.

I was lulled into a callous, humiliating, web of deceit and I reacted… poorly.

Not to Steve Sayors, or the guy who pretended to be him at least. No, that guy deserves far worse than simply being chased out of a nightclub that I hired for the day.

It’s to all of you that I have reacted poorly, and for that, I’m sorry.

I don’t want to make excuses here; I’ve never said something that I didn’t at least partially mean. There have been kernels of truth in all of this in terms of my feelings, but feelings can be irrational. I’ve allowed myself to let my feelings run the show, and with the capricious way that it’s been twisted… I lost control.

I thought I was better now. I thought I could redeem myself for where I failed previously. But I’m not. And I can’t. Right now, I have this one moment of lucidity, and then what? For all we know this is just the first section of a six-part tumble down the rabbit hole where I face-fuck the fourth wall and degenerate into a foul-mouthed wreck.

I guess I should take the opening while I have it then.

Thad… I’m sorry.

From my end, you have been an asshole. But it’s not like I didn’t poke the bear, right? I guess I’ve spent a lot of time talking to or about you because I saw something in you that reminded me of the type of people that have always treated me and the people like me poorly. There was this one bully in particular named Steve…

No, not Steve.

Not ‘Steve’ either.

Yeah… that Steve.

Steve would hold his nose so far up in the air, that anybody who disagreed with him immediately became the villain. That’s what I’ve been accusing you of, right? And in turn, I’ve started acting the exact same way.

Let’s clear the record then, all right?

You’re young, loud, and yes, you’re talented. I’ve never once denied that. Hell, that’s why everyone and their dog have focused on you and Corey from the outset, because that describes you both. You say you’ll be the Universal Champion one day and I believe you. I’m just scared about what will happen if that day is today. I mean, you’re so damn headstrong that you’ve convinced yourself that everything I’ve said is all about some pathetic divide and conquer. I don’t care about the Coreus fanfic – you can use that by the way. Sure Corey’s a banger, and that’s enough to make anyone jealous, but that is not what this ever was.

I’ve been worried that you’re not doing enough to address your flaws, and I’ve been worried how that will affect the people like me. I’m worried we’ll be shunned and ostracised under a Thaddeus Duke reign.

I think Corey gets that better than you, because in a way, I think Corey has a bit of me in him. I’d like it to be a lot of me, if you catch The Brand’s drift, but he understands that struggle against something that’s… other. That’s been the source of tension here, Thad.

Like I said, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry if you feel like my criticism has no credibility, but what was I supposed to do? Walk up to you and your gaggle of cronies backstage and say ‘Hey Mr. Thaddy-Waddy, it’d sure be swell if you’d be nice to the freaks of the world.’ We both know that wouldn’t have worked. Let’s look at the outcome: you’re talking about me more than you are anyone else now too.

Do the ends, justify the means?

No.

But I’ll take some comfort in it, nonetheless.

I’ll find even more comfort, in knowing that for the first time in the build up to this battle royale, you’ve started to acknowledge your flaws. You’ve got a fair way to go, maybe we’ll get to do this again in a longer form, but really… that’s all I was ever trying to get from you.

I just hope that you can accept this act of contrition as a recognition of my own flaws.

Corey, I need to extend the same grace to you.

I’m sorry.

I’m out here talking to Thad, about you, and acting as if you don’t have some sort of say in how things work out.

That’s not right.

You were generous enough to own your errors when I called you on them, as well as to go as far as to say that I’m not a douchebag – thank you for that. You gave me a compliment, just like Marf and Doc D’Ville did – how’s that for a triplet? But I appreciate that honesty, and that’s why I think I can help you. I can’t explain why James Evans has focused exclusively on you, but I know you’ve had my attention because I feel like we’re kindred spirits in a sense. I don’t know the details but I can see you’re struggling.

I get if you don’t want to talk. But if you need someone who might understand… I’m here for you.

There is one thing about you that I just can’t comprehend though:

If you think you don’t deserve the Universal championship and Thad does… then why are you in the match?

Something doesn’t seem right.

Worth thinking about…”


Dissolve to black.


Fuck Steve Jason

5B: Mad Men


Bridge of summer’s stream

Thou hast not withstood the storm

What lengths to restore?

- Me: 2020


Fuck John Madison

5C: On-Brand

In the dark of the night, the former King arises from his bunk. Though some were awake, the bodies on the straw mattresses strewn on the dirt floor around him dared not move. On the far side of the room, one of The King’s thralls stifles a cough. On another night, that would draw a reaction. In truth, The King was alert to all their muffled breathing. He knew all. But tonight, he didn’t care.

With a malnourished grunt, he thrusts his body up a small pile of crates on the side of the mud brick wall. Standing atop, he grasps the small metal bars that separated him from the free world and draws his face to a gap between them. A passer-by would have thought nothing of the emaciating man in the hole: just another bule caught smuggling drugs into their land. Again, The King didn’t care.

He gazes up though the steel bars and smog to the dark velvet cloak draped across his Balinese prison cell and the island it is dug into, masking most stars from being visible He scans and he squints, and as the haze shifts in the gentle easterly breeze, he finally locks in on a star brighter than all others. The clogged air continues to seep across his eyeline, but he never loses sight of the star.

Through that star, he reflects on his life. Once, that star was his domain. He was King of the fucking Universe. Lord of the Ring. He thought of his former empire. He thought of its foes: Jayzon Williamz, Ace Vincent, Davey Dunham, and the rest.

Today, his empire consists of addicts and murderers.

At least they’re his.

“I can still play this hand,” Kieran mutters to himself. He looks up at the light shining through the stained cloud and smiles. He knows that one day, that Universal realm could be his again. But not yet…

---

Several thousand miles away, The Māori Legend falls into a white wicker chair on his veranda. He looks out over the hard-earned estate in front of him as his wife and children fire water pistols at each other. Summer is coming in New Zealand, but even then, this is a warm November morning.

His wife creeps around the corner of the house, gun locked and loaded, while his son and daughter focus exclusively on each other. After several drawn out seconds of hydro-blasting each other in the face, they stop and glance around. Their mother is nowhere to be seen!

The Legend raises his hand to get their attention and bring his finger to his lips. Responding, their hands smother their giggles. He motions to the corner of the house, continuously emphasising with his finger the need for quiet. The children confer and split up. The oldest – the boy – makes a scene about how his sister got away. He’s the decoy. Meanwhile, his sister sneaks through a side door of the house and creeps through to the other side. Popping out on the other side, she slinks up behind her mother and fires!

The Legend’s wife yelps and flees into the yard in front of him once more. It’s a trap! The son unloads his pistol, and the mother, surrounded and defeated, dramatically feigns her death.

Chuckling, he sips at his tea, and casts his eyes to the sky.

The Legend looks up and notices the last remaining star of the prior night and recalls what it represents: The Universe and its wars. Wars against T-Money, Christian Connolly, Jem Williams, and so many more. Most of all, the war against himself.

Was it worth it?

“He kai kei aku ringa” Lee whispers, while his family laughs in the yard. “There is food at the end of my hands”.

He smiles. The Universe is not his realm.

Not anymore

---

Across the seas and seasons, The Other lays flat upon cracked, red, Arizonan clay. As he gazes perfectly straight above him, he can see no stars. Even Sol, still beating upon him, lurks just outside his field of vision. In the light of day he can’t observe the Universe, but his are all the twinkle he needs, filled with the blue and all that it represents.

Hope.

Serenity.

Wisdom.

Calm.

His irises reflect the sky. He is warmth. He is comfort. He is beauty.

He is interrupted.

An old Nokia brick, you know the one, begins buzzing on the ground next to him. A nearby fire ant scurries away in terror, finding solace under the shade of a jagged rock.

His response his delayed – too absorbed in spotting shapes in cloudless skies. By the time he scrambles to the phone, it has stopped.

It beeps! A voicemail!

He quickly navigates to it.

Play.

“Hey, uh… this is Steve Sayors here. The real Steve Sayors. Look, I’m really sorry to hear about what happened with that imposter. There are some real jerks out there. I honestly didn’t know that happened until this week. I guess I got too caught up bouncing between Germany and the States for the various shows. I’m so sorry. To make it up to you, how about I find you at the show on Sunday? We can do a genuine interview, live on Pay-Per-View! I’m really looking forward to it.

I mean it.”


Oh joy! Oh glory! Oh triumph!

He wants to talk!

They all want to talk!

The Other launches to his feet, standing tall amongst the cacti, a towering dread oak in a foreign land.

He skips, arms stretched wide and bare feet kicking dust up as he plods along. Clumsily he twirls, a whirlwind defence against the large blowflies attracted to his warm, soulful body. In that twirl, the blue transforms from love to Love.

Why did he doubt himself? Of course it was going to be worth it! In The Love, he can see the smiles on everyone’s faces, and he beams right back at them through crooked lips.

In the distance, The Salmon-Coloured Minotaur beckons.

“I’m coming! Yes! I’m coming!”

He has no need to worry. He is wanted!

“Thank you for caring! Thank you all so very much!”

He is whole again!


Fuck The Brand

5D: Nevermore


There once was a former Engineer

Who had a de-Lux derriere

He was misled by his ‘friend’

An omen of his end

Nevermore could I save his career

- Me: 2020


Fuck James Raven

5E: I Need a Doctor!

Elsewhere. An uncomfortably close camera angle; a crooked smile; eyes the shade of The Smurfs playing a game of soggy biscuit – this isn’t the same face from the desert.


“Well? Do I?

Bitches and gentlefucks, you bet your sweet Aunt Petunia I do!

Champ’s talking about me now; Chris is talking about me now; Marf is still bangin’; the orgy god Baphomet – I’m serious, look it up! – is flirting with me; and even the good doctor likes my puppets! Oh mama!

I mean, I would’ve liked a shoutout from Witness, but that motherfucker can’t decide if I’m a bitch or bro. We all get it though, ‘Nessy. We’re all in the same boat trying to figure out if we should give a fuck about… like… anything you’re doing or saying. North, South, East, West, all to get to the same status quo?

Huh?

Here I was thinking that I jumped the shark. At this point, basic English is failing you. ‘Finally there is Page’? Then talking about two other people after that?

I repeat… huh?

At first, I was interested! Now I’m just getting excited about finally getting to unplug your head from your asshole and kick it around a bit.

Oh wait, you wanted the status quo, right? Great, let’s shove that head back up your ass then and never hear from you again.

Bye, Felicia. Thanks for trying.

I would’ve liked a shoutout from Big Daddy Green too, especially after I said such nice things about him. Oh well! Let’s be crystal clear here – Barney winning would be a lovely story. But it’s a story – a fable! Sure, I need to believe in you, Barnacle.

I said it, right?

I need to believe that when douche-hammers like you turn up with your ‘I get knocked down and get back up’ attitude, the laws of nature still apply. There isn’t going to be a Peter Gilmour freak accident here, Barnstorm.

Don’t believe the hype.

And on that, let’s segue back to Louis the Town. Now Doc, I don’t know what it is about Thad that’s got your cock clock striking 12, but that’s for the two of you to bang out.

#Ship Thad and Doc.

Where you’re concerned, Thad actually missed a prime opportunity for calling me out on my bullshit. I mean, the supervillain schtick is dope, and I was totally down to fingerbang myself over it, so props to you on moistening my loins. But you’ve really got to work on your messaging.

You’re not being consistent, bruh, and that’s a bit of a pet peeve of mine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pulling a Bob-a-Rob and saying you’ve lost your touch. I just don’t think you even know who you want to be right now. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe you’ll bring the gory. But I’ve missed what makes you Number 5 and not lower… like say… Number 6





...

Do me a favour though, Doc. When you figure out what you want to be again – whether it’s an unstoppable monster or a cartoon supervillain – hit me up.

The Real You and The Real Me, one form or another… that would be interesting.

Unlike Chris Page.

Jesus rimjobbing Christ Chris, ‘easy to talk shit on camera but different to back it up in the ring’… that’s it? That’s all you’ve fucking got? Wow. You have not listened to nor responded to anything that anybody has said in this entire time, have you? You have shown zero progression of thought, zero original ideas, and abso-fucking-lutely zero reason for anyone to believe that this time will be different for you.

Honestly, you don’t even seem like you want to win. Or maybe you’re just getting forgetful.

I can relate!

So can Champ!

Huddle up, team, and let’s review the play: two weeks ago Champ got confused that Chris somehow knew that Big D was coaching him, when three weeks ago, Champ told the whole world that Big D warned him about Corey!

Just how many head knocks have you had, buddy?

Are you really going to sit there and tell me you’re not seeking to hold on to the spotlight? So you would have signed a contract if the season wasn’t cancelled, would you? You would have joined the battle royal if the Universal Title wasn’t on the line?

No, I didn’t think so.

You’re not here for the competition, you’re here for your ego and your bank account.

Quit lying to yourself about it, cunt-rag.

All of you, quit lying to yourselves!

I’m not out here with a cult, an army¸ a team, a union, a legacy, or even a friend.

I don’t have any of that, yet there’s still a tiny sliver of me in each of you by now that’s curious about just how good I will really be when we get to bump meat.

And that little candiru inside you is getting me rock fucking hard.

Not long to go now...”


Fade to black.


Fuck Doctor Louis D’Ville

5F: The Missing Sixth


Let go! Rejoice in devolved legacy

Even while gone, the heart still craves acclaim

Eager to war and set new worlds aflame

Salvation’s light forgoes supremacy

The Dark who once was supplementary

Opens new hope from scars that bleed the same

Noble but torn, the Serf doth rise again

Emerged, not lost, from dawn’s old memory

- Me: 2020



You get it, right?




Waiho ma te tangata e mihi.

Leave your praises for someone else.



Although… you’re fucking welcome.

Do you have a light?

[Image: 7qdASxF.jpg]
(Banner courtesy of Atara Themis)
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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (11-25-2020), Atara Raven (11-25-2020), Barney Green (11-25-2020), Corey Smith (11-25-2020), Doctor Louis D'Ville (11-25-2020), Johnny Legend (11-25-2020), Marf (11-25-2020), R.L. Edgar (11-25-2020), Unknown Soldier (11-28-2020)




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