Ruby had done her good deed for the day. Accompanying the lonely elderly wasn’t described as one of the seven virtues, but it was something Ruby made sure to do at least once a week. She lived in an apartment full of them, after all, mostly widows or widowers whose children pretended to not have time to come and see them on a regular basis whilst not wanting to put them in a home for the elderly where they’d be properly looked after.

Ruby stepped out of Mrs. Simpson’s apartment, whose face was still beaming. Even a short visit brightened up her entire week and Ruby had some time to spare anyway. Police radars were quiet, and she’d just gotten back from a trip to Chicago to drop in on Centurion unannounced. They had ended up making quite a few awesome memories.

Mrs. Simpson: “Thank you so much for dropping by, Ruby dear. And thank you for taking care of that leaky faucet.”

Ruby: “Not to worry, Mrs. Simpson. I’m a girl who can snake her own clogged drains, and work those pipes if you know what I mean.”

Mrs. Simpson: “How perfectly splendid! And thank you for taking out the trash!”

Ruby: “Hey, I said I was going to give the B.O.B. another whoopin’, so that’s what I did, because that’s what I do!”

Mrs. Simpson: “No, I meant taking out my trash.”

She pointed at the garbage bag Ruby was holding in her hand.

Ruby: “Oh! Well, not to worry, I needed to go down to collect my mail anyway. I entered my apartment through the window last time I got home. Now, take care and don’t forget to exercise and eat healthy, you hear?”

After a goodbye wave, Ruby took the elevator downstairs. Once down, she got out, tossed Mrs. Simpsons’ trash in the dumpster and went to check her mailbox. There was quite a bit in there.

Ruby: “Ah, my three new comic books from my Comix Fanatix subscription… A letter from our Nigerian Prince… A bottle of The General’s Hot Sauce for Centy… A sewing kit and some yellow and green thread… Bills, bills, bills and more bills… What’s this envelope?”

Ruby pulled out a card, and it quickly became clear who’d sent it.


Promotional material for Sarah Lacklan’s new book, apparently. Ruby hadn’t really heard from the former Universal Champ ever since Vinnie had given her the boot, but apparently she was still on promotional-material terms, which was two rungs lower than Christmas-card terms on the ladder of social acquaintance.

But Ruby’s surprise was even bigger when she turned the card around and noticed that unmistakable comic-sans handwriting that seemed almost too perfect not to be printed by a computer.

Quote:”Dear STUPID IDIOT

I HIGHLY advise you to buy my new self-help book, ‘Knee-Deep in the Streets, Elbow-Deep in the Sheets: How to Succeed at Life and Marriage’. Since you have CLEARZ and TOTES failed at both, it just might work wonders for you. Pre-orders are open, so don’t miss out on this opportunity for you to stop being THE WORST EVER I HATECHU SO MUCH OMGZ!

Also, please don’t be the worst next Anarchy so my Beloved doesn’t have to carry your flat booty to victory.

Not at all yours
Wishing you all the worst
Sers why do you suck so much

Sarah Selena Grey-Lacklan”

Ruby: “Gee, thanks Lackersnackers! Warms the heart, it does!”

Still, a smile crept up on Ruby’s face. It was good to hear from her. At least she was doing something during her semi-retirement.

As she took the elevator back up, she wondered about that one sentence. ‘So ‘my Beloved doesn’t have to carry you’. Well, she still wasn’t even completely certain that Kenzi was going to show up to compete. She’d managed to convince her last week, with bit of …help… from Bobbi, but it was clear Kenzi was more focused on trying to flip over Vinnie than focus on her own success. Getting her focused would be the hardest part. She knew that focused Kenzi Grey was a force to be reckoned with by even the most legendary of Hall of Famers. And seeing as they were facing the Anarchy Champion and an XWF stalwart in Ned Kaye, she was going to have to be.As the elevator doors dinged open, she knew half the battle was going to have to be fought before the bell was going to be rung.

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From Ruby’s Go-Pro…

Ruby: “Flipfaces and motherflippers! Ish ya gurl da RUBES with some HOT banana-lime takes! HOT banana, by the way, is a great and healthy dessertyou’re your barbecue!

So if all goes according to plan, Kenzi and I will step into the ring together once again. Now, I will take NO pleasure in stomping Tula’s face in from the top rope, but when I do, just know that it’s all business. You know I like and respect you, but we can’t let this match drive a wedge between us. In spite of everything, I still consider you an important ally. Vinnie’s games shouldn’t give the B.O.B the upper hand. As for Ned Kaye, my guy, how’s it been? We used to tussle for a bit, then you suddenly dropped off my Ruby-dar! You best put your finest foot forward in here, dude. I got no quarrel with you, but make sure you have Tula’s back. I don’t consider you to be Anarchy’s biggest problem, but the truth is you haven’t done much to stand up to B.O.B.’s bullies either, have you? Well, that’s fine, but know that apathy is the greatest enemy of justice. I hope you can turn it around. But not now. Not in Savannah. Because the Banana-Lime Blur is coming to the Peach State to fight the good fight, and restore Order to Anarchy once again! Ciao!”

And after a wink, the broadcast ends.