From Ruby’s Go-Pro…

Ruby loved playing dress-up, which was why Halloween was one of her favorite days of the year. Okay, so she ‘dressed up’ pretty much every day, but it was one of the few occasions she didn’t have to don her banana-lime superhero outfit. Instead she could get creative a little bit. She wasn’t very good at scaring people, but she was a master of disguises if she needed to be, much like the Scarlet Pimpernel, the English Lord who risked his life to save French aristocrats during the French Revolution!

Not that that was going to be her costume, of course. Her theme for Anarchoween was historical figures, and she wanted to represent a woman. So she was digging through her wardrobe that held pretty much every special costume she’d worn over the past fifteen years. All of them still fit, she hadn’t grown much in size since then anyway…

Ruby: “Hmm, let’s see… Rosa Parks? No, this ain’t the Netherlands or Belgium, can’t do blackface obviously. Vera Atkins? Ah, blast, it’s a Canadian military uniform… Joan of Arc? Nah, too cliché… Sacagawea? No, borrowed that costume and never got it back… Hmmm…”

Eventually she found an old dress with puffy sleeves. She held it up and the penny dropped.

Ruby: “Ah! This is perfect!”

Ruby looked over at the camera and hid the dress behind her back. Not that it would give away much of anything.

Ruby: “My flippies! Looks like Anarchoween is on like Donkey Kong! A bit weird they have it 9 days before the fact, but hey I don’t make the schedule! Or the card! That’s Vinnie. Speaking of which, I was actually planning on dressing up like him, wearing a curly wig, playing air guitar and going all “DUDE” and “RAD” and “TUBULAR!” You could even argue h’s a bit of a historical person himself, especially as far as the history of the XWF is concerned. But after what happened at Warfare I don’t think he’s in the mood for jokes… Still, sorry about the lack of exciting background, it’s just a spare room in my already tiny apartment. I was planning on showing you guys some footage of me getting my bulldozer driver’s license, but Mickey Greaves already ran that bit into the ground, it seems. But hey, blame me for being so inspirational!

“Speaking of running things into the ground, judging by my match stip Anarchoween is sure to be exciting and unpredictable as always! Takes a real A-show to do that. So, you know what, I’m just going to snap my fingers and fast-forward to Salem, Massachusetts! Post-production is like magic, isn’t it?”

Ruby snapped her fingers.

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…and reappeared in Salem, Massachusetts on October 22nd!

Ruby: “BOOM, baby!”

She was wearing a long dress, a black wig with fuzzy hair, a fake mole above the left side of her upper lip, and had enough make up on that made her look at least twenty years older. She ad an Erlenmeyer flask in one hand, and a Nobel prize in the other.

Ruby: “Guess who!? Marie Curie of course, my darlings. First PERSON to win two Nobel prizes! Hashtag GOALS, am I right? And what an inspirational person she was. Let me start off with a quote. Because people keep asking me if what I’m doing is smart. Because the B.O.B. has strength in numbers, and they’re determined to bring me and mine down until nothing but ashes remain. Well let me tell you something, lovelies! ‘Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood! Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less’.

“And something Mickey tweeted at me made me realize something…”


Ruby: “See, you guys? Mickey just wants to be loved, and have his safe space where he can be all chummy with his buddies! That’s actually rather cute! Sure, I don’t approve of their methods, but it seems like the B.O.B. is sort of a self-help group for people who are afraid of ending up alone even if they know their actions warrant it. What’s so scary about that, once you understand it? It’s not about being evil, or about taking down Anarchy, or about beating me up… it’s about bonding with each other, like a troop of boy and girl’s scouts!

“Alas, Mickey, I can’t let you continue on this path that you’re on. I know we intend to bury each other alive, basically, and that’s a scary prospect, if nothing else. But like I said, I’m gonna be the world’s tiniest bulldozer and steamroll all over you. Will it be easy? No. To quote Madame Curie again, ‘Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing must be attained.’ And that’s exactly what I’ve always done. I believe I can beat you, and I will strive to attain it. Just like I believed I could bring Order to Anarchy, and I DID that! It has never been easy, and it never will be. But the hard part is often times the fun part. And getting rid of the B.O.B.? That’s gonna be a lot of fun. Because boy scouts or not, you guys are a cancerous bulb on this brand. And who better to burn you into oblivion, than the lady who discovered radioactivity? You’re the cancer. I’ll discover the cure. #BulldozeBOB.”

Ruby winked, lifted up the hem of her dress so as not to trip, and ran off towards the ring.







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