"Is no problem! Right here!"

Good friend Tulip gets too worried about Boris, comrades. She think someone will hurt Boris. Or maybe Boris will do something dumb. Aye, but Boris is not dumb man. I have been in States of United America long enough to know what to do when ice man comes to speak to me.

Boris reaches into pockets. Visa is always handy blin. Never know when Boris needs it. I hand my papers over to the ice man, and he does not seem to like Boris visa.



"What the fuck is this?"

"Is Boris papers."

"I don't care about you, Ivan. Where are your papers, senorita? Habla Inglés?"

Boris is confused. Ice man does not seem to care about the Papers of Boris, but is actually asking Good Friend Tulip for documents. This make no sense. She fight in American military. She born in America.

"Do...do you think I'm Mexican?"

"Mexican, Cuban, whatever. Y'all come over the same way."

Boris is not smartest man, but even I know Cuba is in middle of ocean, far away from Mexico. And both are nowhere near Hi-why, where Good Friend Tulip is from.

"I'm an American citizen."

"Of course you are. So you have no problem showing me your ID then?"

"Oh, I'll show you my ID, but first, I have to ask you a question...what's it like being in the modern day Gestapo, you piece of shit?"

Boris can sense Good Friend Tulip getting angry. This good. Boris knows Good Friend Tulip has been feeling sad. This why she loses wrestling matches. But if Good Friend Tulip is angry, maybe she win. The Bob not used to seeing Angry Tulip.

The ice man look at Good Friend Tulip's ID. He did not seem pleased.

"Hawaii, huh? You're a long way from home. A Hawaiian and a Russian hanging out in the middle of Pennsylvania - people are going to ask a lot of questions."

Boris feels bad for Good Friend Tulip. She is getting more angry, but can do nothing about it. She would like to punch ice man, but she too nice. If Boris does not do something, this will hurt our chances on Anchor.

So Boris has idea. Ice man has handcuffs. They are just hanging out of pocket - ice man must not receive many calls for action. He is also leaning against pole that hold up ice cream stand. So Boris does best joke ever.

"Hey Tulip, watch this blin!"

Boris takes the handcuffs and quickly attaches them to the ice man's wrist and the pole. The ice man is very mad blin. He as mad as Monkey Osmond in thrift store.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKER! I'LL HAVE YOUR ASS FOR THIS!"

Seems like weird threat blin. Why would ice man only want Boris ass? There many nice things about Boris. A dot com web site called "Leakyfeet" say Boris has really nice soul. Do not know how they know, or how they got picture of Boris feet, but is compliment anyway.

The anger Good Friend Tulip had is now gone blin! And instead she laugh. This is all Boris want.

"Hey, why don't you call your friends for backup?"

This Boris does not understand. Would it not be better to leave ice man alone? This not like Anchor, where Boris and Good Friend Tulip has Ruben and Vegan Valentine as partners. This real life, and The Bob is not as powerful as ice men.

The angry ice man pulls out his cell phone with his other hand, but Good Friend Tulip immediately takes it from him. She also pull out ice man wallet, which makes man even more angry. Boris hopes Good Friend Tulip does not rob ice man. This not ok.

"Oh, weird. There's no identification in here. No badge. Nothing. It's almost like you're some kind of racist who likes to play federal agent when brown folks show up in his town."

"Give me my wallet back, you bitch!"

Good Friend Tulip does what ice man ask for and throws wallet at the man. She also punch ice man in face - not how Boris would have handled situation, but is ok.

"I am so tired of every mediocre white man with an inferiority complex thinking they can just push their weight around like they own the fucking planet! News flash - just because that dickhead you support is president, doesn't mean we won't fight back! You think you can call me "Buttermilk Tits", or make fun of my last name and discredit my finisher?"

"Uhh, Good Fr..."

"This is why B.O.B needs to be exterminated! Because assholes like you think you own Anarchy! But you're nothing more than a group of white men with a domination fetish who will do anything for a pretty girl in a pink latex suit..."

"Good Friend Tulip, I don't think this is..."

Boris can say no more as Good Friend Tulip begins to kick and stomp on the ice man. She is angry, but Boris is unsure who she is angry at. She talk about The Bob. Does she think ice man is Rubby Burton or Tinder Nickels? Because ice man look nothing like those two debils.

Good Friend Tulip wipes blood from her knee before touching shoulder of Boris.

"I'm sorry you had to see me lose my temper. I'm just tired of it all Boris. I'm tired of so many people trying to take advantage of me. I'm tired of Money Oswald holding up a useless title just to make himself look good. I'm tired of Thunder Knuckles hopping on whatever fucking train pays him. I'm tired of Robbie Bourbon and his disrespect. Most importantly, I'm tired of Miss Fury running the whole fucking operation. She needs to go. They ALL need to go. And it needs to be vicious, and done with no mercy. Let's get out of here. We have some supervillain ass to kick."

Boris just wanted ice cream.