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The Paulie Report: Relentless - Night One
Author Message
Paul Heyman Offline
Business Manager to Thaddeus Duke



XWF FanBase:
Hardcore, psycho fans

(cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)


#1
09-21-2020, 05:54 AM

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I debated whether or not I should even do this for Relentless considering that I’ve recently came back into the big picture and it may give me a biased opinion of my own client, but I’m Paul Heyman and you’re not so sit down and have a read. This show started as a concept and has grown into a staple of the XWF calendar and it’s looked at as perhaps the premier pay per view offering that the Xtreme Wrestling Federation puts on annually.

Relentless.

A rather apt name if you ask me. You didn’t, but you’re reading this so its abundantly clear that my opinion carries at least some weight still around these parts. This event is so big and so grand that it can not be contained on just one night, just one card. Not even two. Three nights. Three cards. Three cities on the American west coast and if nature hadn’t decided to burn down California, the XWF was gonna do it anyway.

Being so large a card as it always is. This will come in three parts just as the event itself. Let’s get to it.

MATCH ONE, NIGHT ONE: Big D defends his Internet Championship (rolls eyes, scoffs) against Mefisto. Now, I’m sure Anarchy is a fantastic show because the man who runs it was my protege once upon a time. Surely, Vinnie Lane picked up a thing or two over the years from yours truly, but if I sat here and told you I knew everything going on, on that show, I’d be lying and we all know that I always speak only the truth. The fact is, I’ve been rather busy of late and I have no idea what goes on on that brand and I don’t know Mefisto really at all.

But I do know Big D. He’s a man that has come rather far over the last year or so and I don’t imagine we’ll be seeing him put down for a mark in the loss column at Relentless. This match is tasked with the unenviable task of setting the bar for the three night extravaganza. I know Big D is up to that challenge. That man bleeds the black and blue.

PREDICTION: Big D retains

MATCH TWO, NIGHT ONE: In a contenders match for the Television Championship, the Incredible One goes head to head to head in a four way battle against Johnny Legend who is really not a big deal here, Felix Jones and Andrew Logan. I’m not totally brushed up on all of these competitors, but in my predictions for Leap of Faith in the battle royal, I predicted someone new, a fresh face that we don’t know a lot about would come out the winner. And I was right, because of course I was. The winner that night is my pick for this one. Andrew Logan is a name rapidly gaining recognition.

PREDICTION: Andrew Logan becomes number one contender to the Television title

MATCH THREE, NIGHT ONE: In a Federweight title match, The Freak defends against Jim the Jim Jimson and while Jimson makes me laugh out loud when I do get time to see him, I think The Freak is just too big and too strong for Jim to overcome.

PREDICTION: The Freak successfully retains

MATCH FOUR, NIGHT ONE: Charlie Nickles defends the Heavy Metalweight title against two regular losers in Brian Storm and Liam Roberts. Why? I don’t know. Charlie is a man whose stock is rising rather rapidly in the XWF and I’m not sure why he’d waste his time on such toy titles when he could be and should be focused entirely on Sarah Lachlan and the Universal Championship. Though in all fairness, all Charlie has to do to win this match is show the hell up.

PREDICTION: Charlie Nickles CHOOSES to forego winning in favor of being at least slightly intelligent and move on to things that actually matter.

MATCH FIVE, NIGHT ONE: Theo Pryce faces Chris Chaos. Chaos is after things too big for him to chew but nevertheless Theo Pryce has stacked the deck and put ALL the pressure on Chris Chaos. Not only does Chaos’s Universal title match hang in the balance here, but to add even more drama, if Chaos loses, he is fired from the XWF. While I would personally love to see Theo Pryce put that whiny little bitch in his place once and for all, I just don’t see a day any time soon where we are rid of the never ending underwhelming presence that is Chris Chaos. You know what they say, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

If you think that a Chaos win will put a stamp on night one and reestablish Chaos as a major player again, if you think Chris chaos will escape Relentless unscathed, please, have no fear. Like Elizabeth Warren, I have a plan for that but I can’t discuss that here.

PREDICTION: Chaos, somehow

MATCH SIX, NIGHT ONE: FINALLY! Finally I get to talk about my client. At Leap of Faith I had some disparaging things to say about the XWF’s resident good boy Lionheart, but OH HAVE THINGS CHANGED! Contrary to me putting myself over all these years as a miracle worker, I’m not. All I do is recognize talent. All I do is harness things unseen by most and teach my proteges how to unleash those things at the right time, in the right manner, on the right person or persons. With Thaddeus Duke, it’s a rather vicious mean streak. Like his father before him, he does possess an inner darkness and while his legendary father showed his viciousness quite often, Thaddeus has always been a bit shy about letting out the beast that rages within.

But no longer. He’s been great in the ring and that’s no secret. Win or lose, the kid puts on a show like no one else can and there is no quit in him. This feud with Chris Page went from being about the Television title which Thaddeus never truly wanted to begin with, to a rather personal blood feud and if I’m being honest here, the XWF has never witnessed a more focused, more intense, more violent Thaddeus Duke than they’re seeing right now.

Chris Page is an icon. Love him or hate him he is the standard for what a pure wrestling match is all about. What happens though, when a not yet 22 years old man comes out here and matches you move for move, hold for hold? What happens when a young man that prides himself on excellence goes toe to toe with one of the greatest to ever lace them up?

Five Star Classic.

My prediction is that Chris Page versus Thaddeus Duke will steal the show, not just night one, but the entire event. My prediction is that not only does Thaddeus Duke defeat Chris Page on night one, he’ll go on to night two and defeat Mastermind and go on to night three where his booking for the night remains open and win there too. You needn’t worry, I have a plan for that. He said he’d embody the very definition of Relentless and if I don’t help him get there and see that through, then I’m not doing my job.

PREDICTION: Thaddeus Duke in an absolute event stealing classic, because he can

Feel free to discuss below in the comments section. I might even respond.

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Charlie Nickles (09-21-2020), Doctor Louis D'Ville (09-21-2020), Jim "the Jim" Jimson (09-25-2020), Mr. Oz (09-21-2020), Ned Kaye (09-21-2020), Peter Fn Gilmour (09-22-2020), Robert "The Omega" Main (09-21-2020), The Freak (09-21-2020), Thunder Knuckles™ (09-21-2020)




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