"Easy, blyattttt"

Comrades, Boris will not lie - this week on Anchor is most difficult challenge. Not only does Boris have to fight Kasey Gray, a good competitor, even though she may be Western spy, but Boris must do so while becoming King Of The Tigers.

Is not easy blin.

In order to become King Of The Tigers, Boris must earn their trust. The fans of the Slav Superstar do not need to see Boris lose his face. This does not make good television blin, and all the little Gopniks will be scared for life.

So Boris decided to become friends with the big kitties!

"Can I say, again, for the record, that this is an incredibly fucking stupid idea?"

"You may not."

Good friend Tulip, she always try to do things the "right" way. She was brainwashed by the American education system! All teachers in States of United America are Western spies, who poison children with propaganda! Cyka blyat, they make American children weak! And they become weak American adults! If is not for terrible American teachers, Good Friend Tulip would see that this is wonderful idea!

All is done is Boris broke into zoo in Salsa, Okayhoma, jump fence, and started talking to tigers. Is no big deal! Sure, the tigers are a big angry, but they just hungry and sleepy. They just like Cousin Antoli after bar close.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty!"

What Kasey Gray and the rest of folks in the Federation of Xtreme Wrestlers do not realize is tigers are just big cats. They enjoy all things a normal kitty would. They like the scratches behind the ear, and rubs of the tummy, the chasing of the lazer. Is all good fun for the big cats.

"That tiger is going to turn you into paste."

"Cyka, you need to have more faith in Boris!"

Good Friend Tulip's negative comments does not help in taming the kitty, but this does not matter. In order to become King Of The Tigers, Boris has to overcome such things.

As the tiger approaches Boris, I can see it is friendly. Tiger does not wish to eat Boris. Tiger just wants to make friends. I reach out and touch the large kitty, softly petting it. So far, no bites.

"I can not believe it."

Yes, Good Friend Tulip, stand in your astonishment. Is not every day you see the Slav Superstar taming a tiger. But this is what must be done in order to become King Of The Tigers.

Will Kasey Gray do this? Nu blin! She is more interested in talking to American politician with weird hair. This will not help Kasey! Unless she is willing to become friends with tiger, she will never truly become a monarch within the tiger community.

"Rrrrrr...."

Tiger makes tiny noise, likely in approval of Boris and his tactics. Anchor is going to be special event blin? All these people get to see the Slav Superstar become the King Of The Tigers! And while Boris wants to win match, I hope Kasey does not get eaten. When Boris becomes friends with the tiger, I will make sure he does not eat Kasey. Boris likes Kasey and Sara Lakeland. They are funny people. Quite talented. And is nice to see two close friends work together.

"Rrawrrrr..."

Boris wishes he had good friend like Kasey has with Lakeland. Good Friend Tulip is fun person, but she does not understand Boris all the time. Good Friend Centurion buys Boris coffee, but this is it. Cousin Antoli can't be in States for reasons he did not disclose, so is quite lonely sometimes. If I had friend like Kasey and Lakeland, is not as bad.

But is no big deal. The Anchor fans shall be Boris friend! Every person who chant Boris name is now friend of Boris! And after tomorrow night, tiger will be friend of Boris. Boris and Tiger, best friends blin. We will travel together, train together, eat together...

"RAWRRRRR!!!"

"...cyka blyat."

Tiger is no longer friendly! Boris turns and runs as tiger chases, taking a couple swipes at Boris back. Luckily, Boris was champion wall climber in school, so the wall does not pose much of a challenge, and Boris gets out of the tiger home before he is able to turn me into Babushka's jam.

"How did that feel?"

"Boris almost had it!"

Blyat, it was close! Just few more minutes, and Boris would have tamed the kitty! Is time to jump right back in there, but some of Boris' blood starts to fall onto the cement. Looks like the tiger got paw in Boris...

...perhaps is good idea to lay down for a bit.