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Jenny Myst · (09-09-2020)

The carnival lights were overwhelming sometimes. They signified both fun and total disaster. Cue the anxiety. It was always nice when the fair rolled into town, however, because it gave Jennifer a chance to get out of the house and to spend time with her "father". He was always so busy with whatever the heck he was doing--he was very secretive about his "job"--that any time outside the confines of their North Las Vegas home was time she cherished.

The music was always cartoony, but she liked it. Made her feel like a kid for once, because lord knows her childhood wasn't exactly normal. In her preteen mind, nothing was a better therapy than some fried dough, cotton candy, and a big old stuffed animal. She was never a huge fan of the rides, she preferred to play games. Competition. She always enjoyed feeling like she accomplished something. If there is one thing that she hated from a very young age, it was losing. By any means necessary, she had to win, or at least feel like she was. Some called it spoiled, but she called it normal. As she walked back to where her "father" was standing, she shoved another bite of purple cotton candy into her mouth.

Her hair back in pigtails, she came to her "father's" side just as he was hanging up his cell phone. He had a nervous look on his face, his eyes darting around, but anxiety was nothing new to him. She viewed this as normal, as sad as it was.

"Want some?" she offered a bite to him. He paid for it, so it was only fair in her mind.

He shook his head, his eyes darting from the parking lot and back to their location.

"No, sweetie, I am fine, thanks. Too much sugar in those things. Not good at my age." She shrugged, shoving another bite into her mouth.

Just then, her young brain nearly exploded. She saw another girl, close to her age, carrying a big stuffed animal pig that she had very obviously won from one of the carnival games. She squealed, much like a pig would, and pointed at it as the girl walked by.

"Ohhhh emmmm geee! I HAVE to have one. Daddy, we have to find out where she got it! I want onneeeee!" She had all but abandoned the cotton candy, frantically scanning her eyes to each of the game booths, trying to find the pig prize. To her dismay, she didn't see it.

Her "father" soon realized that she had an infautation with pigs, and broke out into a noticeable sweat, despite the 100 degree weather.

"Sweetie, I have a better idea. Let's go see the piggies in person. You don't need any more stuffed animals, your room is already loaded."

"OKAY!"

So off they went. He even held her hand as they made their way across the fair grounds and towards the livestock section.

The squeal from her matched those of the pigs as she saw her first one, and ran over to it immediately. Bending down, she began to scratch the chin of the pig who put his nose through the protective fencing.

"Hi baby! Oh my god....hi.....yes.....you're so cute....yes you are!"

Her "father" smiled nervously, looking back and forth as she baby talked the pig.

After a few moments, she stood up, looking at him with the goldfish eyes of a child.

"Can we get one?! Please Daddy can we get a pig! We've got plenty of room in the back yard!"

His expression dropped. He wanted to give this little girl everything she wanted, but the visions in his head.....oh god the visions.....there would be no pigs.

Pigs were vile creatures.

The caretaker came over, smiling at the girl. He shot a concerned look at the father, and their eyes locked for a few seconds before he bent down to talk to the girl.

"You like him huh? His name is Boris."

"BORIS! AHHHH! HE'S ADORBALE!"

"Unfortunately, Boris has to stay here at the fair but we are in town for a few more days, you're welcomed to come see him as much as you like."

She spun on her heels, facing her father.

"Can we daddy? Can weeeeeeeeeee?!"

Her "father" stared coldly at the caretaker, then smiled at his "daughter".

"Oh, I think we'll be seeing Boris again, dear."

A FEW NIGHTS LATER

The car rolled towards the fairgrounds. He had picked Jennifer up from her dance class and told her he just needed to make a quick stop. She didn't think anything of it. She listened to her iPod and looked out the window. The car pulled into the back of the fair grounds, around the back side of where the animal pits were kept. Jennifer noticed this, but didn't say anything. It was getting dark. She just wanted to go home.

"Honey, I'll only be a few minutes. Please, stay in the car. We can get ice cream on the way back, okay? Just stay here."

She nodded as the music blended with his message to her.

He got out of the car and she watched his disappear behind the barn.

Time seemed to crawl by. Jennifer was getting bored and her father took the keys so the car was beyond hot. She pressed the AC button to no avail.

When her playlist ended, she sighed and curiosity got the best of her. She pulled up the lock on the door and got out, walking carefully around the muddy barn to the open enclosure where she met Boris the other day.

Her mouth opened in a silent scream.

Her father was on all fours, digging around in the dirt and the cow shit for something. The boot that she recognized as the caretakers boot was sitting sideways in the middle of the pigpen. There were scraps of clothing, and even small traces of blood on the trough.

"Th---they-----they-----they ATE HIM!!!!!!" she yelled, startling her "father" and causing him to fall over in the combination of dirt and shit.

They had indeed. Her father was looking for a very valuable ring that this man had, he would use this to pay his debt to the mob. He figured the pigs wouldn't digest the ring, so he would come back a few nights later and retrieve it.

"Honey I----"

She ran back towards the car screaming. She never wanted to look at a pig ever again.

Truth is, pigs would eat almost anything. As the man grabbed the ring and stood up, brushing himself off, he began to go over the story he was sure to see in the papers.

Las Vegas Fair animal caretaker was eaten by his pigs after having a heart attack and falling into their enclosure. By the time a concerned relative and the authorities came looking for him, only his dentures were left.

"That day I saw the other girl carrying the pig, I had to have it. I had to had have it because pigs were my favorite animal; they were pink, which is the only logical reason as to why in my pre-teen brain at the time. I never really knew what a pig was, what it did, where it lived, or why it existed. Just that it was pink and I wanted to hug it. They made funny noises and rolled around in the mud. How cute, right?! I even used to wear my hair in pigtails just because of the name! Imagine my shock when something so innocent, so beautiful, at least to me, could be used for something so evil. I hated pigs after that, and until I got here to XWF I never had the misfortune of meeting one. Until you.

You're a pig, Madison, in every sense of the word. The fashion choices of teen insecurity but the age of I need to get my shit together. You're super intelligent, and you have an excellent memory. Nothing gets by Madison Dyson. You're a clean person but roll in the mud to throw us off, making us think you're disgusting but really using the mud as an advantage. Clever girl. Pigs are excellent navigators and can find their way home over large distances. It's a no wonder you keep wandering back to the farm despite our best efforts to get rid of you. For a head and snout as large as yours, I am baffled you can't smell your own bullshit. But not all pigs are perfect. That's what makes them unique! But thing that mostly relates the two of you, is that you will eat anything or anyone. You have no loyalty, even to the people who made you. You are just as ugly on the inside as you are on the outside. Anything to get over, eh? Doesn't matter who or what, when or where, Madison Dyson will consume you and not even feel a shred of remorse. You're a vile, evil, disgusting human being Madison and it actually pains me that I used to look up to you, pains me that you called me a friend, pains me that I am the one who had to expose you for what you really are.

A pig.

That night at the fair, it really tormented young Jennifer. She began to see the world as a totally different place. It was a much darker world to her now, despite the almost constant Nevada sunshine. She was colder inside, and her innocence was teetering on the brink.

She stopped relying on her "father" for rides places. It was her way of not accidentally falling into another situation like that again. Instead she chose to walk. She walked everywhere. Walked to the store. Walked to school. Walked to the movies. Sometimes she had to walk through some of Las Vegas's more seedy areas.

These things didn't scare her like they would have a short time ago. She saw them now as beauty. Beauty in the wake of destruction and urban decay. In death.

One day she was walking home from the movies. She lived in a different direction as her friends so she was alone when she hit the bad part of town. When she turned the corner, she saw a girl that wasn't much older than she was, slumped against the wall, her head down. She was heaving a bit, and it sounded like she was sick. Jennifer was concerned, but made sure to keep a safe distance unless the situation became dire.

The girl heaved a few more times, then looked up, the back of her head against the wall. Her face was riddled with what looked like scabs, and she was very skinny. Her hair, gosh, her hair hadn't been washed in months it seemed like.

Jennifer's eyes shifted to a man parking his car a few feet from the girl. There was a dumpster there, and he went to his trunk pulling out a big bag.

The girl got up, shaking a bit like an old dog would, and began towards the man.

"A dollar sir, please. I just need a dollar."

She pulled no punches, straight to the point. But Jennifer couldn't understand why she needed a dollar. A dollar couldn't get you very much.

"Get the fuck away from me" the man said sternly. The harsh language and direct tone made Jennifer gasp.

"It's just a dollar, sir. I'll make it worth your while."

The man scoffed, throwing the trash away and closing the lid, mumbling something about "fucking town's gone to shit".

The shaky girl went into sales mode.

"How about 5 dollars, and I'll suck your dick."

The man stopped in his tracks. He turned around.

"10 dollars and you can fuck me."

Jennifer gasped again. Language!

The man mumbled something again, this time about "the prices of the girls in Vegas" and "this is a deal" and "....my wife...."

"You can fuck me for 5, just please sir....I--"

"I know, you need your fix. You junkie whore. Get in the car."

Fix? A fix? Is that what mommy and daddy always fought about not doing anymore? Fixing?

The car pulled away and a flabbergasted Jennifer walked by the spot where the girl used to be. The smell was horrible. On the ground around the dingy blanket she used to sleep were empty needles, a spoon, a lighter, and some sort of black ribbon.

"A fix" she said to herself, walking out of the alley and back towards her house.....

".......I guess people will do anything for a fix."

When she got home she put her bag down and headed upstairs. When she asked her mother why daddy always complains that he doesn't get his fix anymore, she yelled at her and sent her out of the room.

A single tear ran down her face as she listened to them fight that night, and about how Jennifer asked her about a fix. Where the fuck had she heard that?!

The fight was over, and she gasped when her bedroom door opened.

"I need my fix".

"From the moment you laid eyes on me, you knew that I was different. I infuriated you because I didn't cow-tail to your every want and demand, I didn't turn tale and run. Madison Dyson is used to getting what she wants around here, and when some bleach blonde bimbo with more makeup than brains challenged her authority, well Madison began to lose her mind. Why? Why was I the way I was? Why was some piece of eye candy, who was even half-assed at that, so certain that she could hang in the ring with a grizzled veteran like you? Because, although you ran the yard here, she had dealt with thousands of girls just like you. A thousand girls who were bullies, then stood up to the bullies in the defense of another, and then became the bully again. There is no dexterity to you, there are no layers. You're shallow and vapid, and yet try to throw those words--those exact words--onto me in hopes I'd begin to believe them about myself.

I did for a while.

But all of the insecurities that ravage your body and mind on a daily basis, Madison, they are becoming too much. They are out of control, and the more over the top you are, the more "in control" you think you are. All an act, all a facade, all an attempt to beat back the ever increasing suspicion that maybe Madison Dyson just doesn't have it anymore.

I thought the same for a while.

But the more I look at myself, the more I see the good. The dark cloud has been lifted, and Pandora's box can officially open. A new Jenny Myst for 2020 and beyond. It all begins Saturday Night. A restart to the movie that has become my life, and re-shooting all the vital scenes. I cannot say my past didn't happen, but if the re-shoot is coming, those scene's can be left out of the main script. Directors cut. They shaped who I am, but they do not define me.

I used to be obsessed with you. Boy was I dumb. I used to need the spotlight, need the attention, need to feel like I was wanted here. Now, I don't need to prove anything to anyone other than myself. For years I've been held down by the fact that I was my own worst enemy, and I let others, including you, take advantage of that. Get inside my head. You came back because you want to avenge that loss at Leap of Faith, you want to show the world that Madison Dyson tapping out was just a fluke. You need to prove to everyone that Madison is back and better than ever. You're just like I used to be. If they don't see it they can't believe it, pics or it didn't happen. You need me and it kills you that I no longer need you.

Your a Jenny Myst junkie, and it will be better for us all if you just admit it.

I will break you of this terrible habit, and I will take that title from you. You will be free of the Jenny Myst curse and go off to the horizon, trolling Robert Main into oblivion, and setting your sights on something different. The Shooting Star title is coming home to where it truly belongs. I wasn't capable of running a women's division back in 2018, and you were bullseye accurate. But now, its 2020. Times have changed, people have changed, I have changed.

Madison I am going to save you the trouble of responding to my latest promo's. I already know you're sitting there ripping and tearing at your greasy dreadlocks, trying to come up with something catchy and cute to say about me while sticking that dagger a little deeper. You have such an elegance to your bluntness. Such beauty to your verbal brutality.

Madison save it, please. Say less. I am not going to go as far as to say you are jealous of me, that's Mandii Rider's roster spot. I am going to say, however, that you need me. I'm your addiction, baby, you hate me but you just can't seem to pull away long enough to beat it. Just be honest with yourself, stop the dramatics. You're going to release a response trying to drag me down, I can hear it already. STD this and plastic that. Fancy words for dumb and unique ways to call me a bitch. We've heard it all before. The rage built up in your body, that fix that you hate to need........just save it. I will give you all the Jenny Myst you can handle Saturday Night.

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