"Thank you for coming to check this out on such short notice."
The contractor did everything in his power not to roll his eyes. This woman had a new issue every week, and was always calling after hours to try to get it rectified. This is the first time, however, he actually came.
A bit nervous, he was. A few of the other contractors who had worked on this house had moved out of the district shortly after. It seemed like whatever she had going on, it just wasn't worth it to them.
He needed the money and he had been around the block a few times. Whats the worst he could see?
"No problem, Ms. Jackson."
"So many I ask ya what exactly is going on ma'am?"
Ms. Jackson's young son, Chris, was coming down the stairs. The way he looked at the man was a small cause for concern. It was like he was excited to see him, but not excited like a kid opening presents as Christmas but excited like someone who hasn't eaten in a while knowing they were about to get a fresh,warm meal.
The contractor shook it off as paranoia. He had heard stories about this house and it was getting to his head. He was here for a job and he was gonna do it.
"Well, ya'll came out here a couple times now and you always do a good job.....but there is one thing I just can't wrap my finger around."
She beckons the man to the other room with a long index finger. The floorboards creaked as he walked. He was shocked that a house in south Florida would have wood anywhere with all the damn termites around.
As soon as he hit the room, the stench hit him. Like a roadkill skunk. He immediately put his hand to his nose.
"Yeah, that. Smells like goddamn sewage, doesn't it?"
The woman folded her arms. Her dirty tank top and ripped shorts certainly didn't give off a "clean" vibe, but she didn't seem to have a smell. It was coming from the house.
"Sure does....smells like a busted septic line"he said,"but the weird thing is that there shouldn't be a septic line running through the middle of your living room."
She didn't seem concerned, but more intrigued.
"Perhaps an animal got down there and died? I mean, there are so many dagawn digging animals around here....maybe its a mole or something."
Moles don't make THAT much smell, he thought to himself.
"Ma'am I am gonna say that whatever the hell is making that smell is much bigger than a mole."
Her eyes changed when he said this, they darted around the room a little. Her son was sitting there, on the couch, sizing him up.
Goddamn why were there so many weird ass hillbillies in Florida?
"Well, sir, it would make me real happy if you could get it out for me, whatever it is. It's too hot to go outside and the AC is blowing the smell around the house something fierce."
" 'Spose so"he said,"just gotta isolate where under the floor it is. Don't wanna be ripping the whole damn thing up."
She smiled.
Getting on his knees he used his most basic sense of smell to see where it got stronger. When he was confident that he had isolated a spot, he marked it with a sharpie.
Pulling a few tools out of his bag, he didn't even seem to notice his surroundings. The boy on the couch now had a bowl of cereal, and was eating it slowly, staring at him. Had he noticed this he probably would have told the boy to leave the room, made up something about using chemicals or what not.
After some banging and ripping, the floor boards began to come up.
A bit easier than he anticipated that they would, he thought to himself.
When he got the boards up, he almost gagged from the smell. It was worse tenfold when there was no wood to block the smell. The woman walked into the room as he coughed a few times.
"What a clown show"he said under his breath.
"Everything okay in here?"she asked, bringing him a bottle of Publix brand water.
She looked at the boy on the couch."Come on Chris, go get your clown costume on. You have a birthday party later. You know how those kids love their magic tricks!"
He gets up and leaves the room. She asks again,"So, everything is okay. You were coughing....."
"Yes, just that smell. Whatever is in there must have been dead for a little while now."
He thanked her for the bottle and popped the top off. Wiping sweat from his brow, despite the AC, and looked down into the depths below the floor. It seemed like there was a bit of a crawl space. Not totally uncommon, but he would have to go down there and grab whatever is was because it was not visible.
He took a deep breath, and crawled down into the space below the floor."I'll find the source of that smell, ma'am"he assured the woman as he wedged into the crawl space.
She smiled.
As he worked his way down, his eyes went wide in the dark. He pulled out his flashlight, and his suspicion was confirmed.
He laid his eyes on a very familiar looking uniform and the gray of long-dead flesh.
He gasped as he heard a noise above him.
The floorboards were being hammered back into place.
mis·fit
/ˈmisˌfit/
noun a person whose behavior or attitude sets them apart from others in an uncomfortably conspicuous way. "a motley collection of social misfits"
Similar:
fish out of water
square peg in a round hole
round peg in a square hole
nonconformist
eccentric
maverick
individualist
deviant
exception
outsider
oddball
odd fish
weirdo
weirdie
freak
bad boy
screwball
kook
wackadoo
wackadoodle
ARCHAIC
something that does not fit or that fits badly.
Is THIS someone you can take seriously?
"Welcome to the clown show.
This entire place has become a circus. Management is in over their heads, and it is clear that now, more than ever, the inmates run the asylum. People like Melanie have the confidence to think that they can come onto XWF airwaves and say whatever they want like their opinions matter to anyone but them. It gives them the confidence to say things that they otherwise wouldn't say. Things that will have repercussions outside of management control.
Melanie wants to call me a clown. Sure, I get it. I understand why she would think that way. But, if she is gonna say it, why not have a little factual evidence to back it up? Why not have a little bass behind the brass? Everything about me screams clown? Big words coming from someone who is nothing but a mannequin in Mastermind's weird closet. I act stupid? You call yourself a 'Misfit'. Everything about your entire essence screams stupid. Stupid and immature. But like Forrest Gump once said "Stupid is as stupid does." Only in XWF do words from a person apply so perfectly. Fits like a glove. If you did any research at all instead of talking out the side of your face, you'd know that things haven't gone my way because it has been the agenda of the powers that be to make it that way. But it is okay, I understand that Mastermind only gives you limited TV watching time per week. It's not your fault. When is the last time I have won a title? Well, Melanie, I'll admit it has been a while. I have held every title there is to hold here, sans the X-Treme but that is by my own doing, and I have been on a quest for the Universal Title, leaving all the others behind. I could hold any title here that I so choose, but I have had my motives for not. You are trying to throw my own plans in my face like it is going to hurt me, but the only one here with egg on their face is you. Sloppy, drippy, runny egg. What is your excuse? You say you haven't held a belt here because you are too new? That doesn't sound like anything but simply that, an excuse. Hanari held the Television Title in his second ever match. He was a tag champion before his tenth match. I was Universal Champion after four months of being on the roster. You've been here much longer than that.
So why not tell the people the truth? You haven't held a title here because you haven't earned one. You are nothing more than a valet, and not even a good one at that. While Mastermind is flubbing title opportunity after title opportunity, you guys sit by and watch, clapping encouragement that you know won't work. Nobody thinks you're sane enough? No. Sanity has never been the measuring stick around here. They just think you're a joke, and they aren't wrong. You suck at life, and that is nobodies fault but your own. Me building my army is a clown like maneuver? I beg to differ. Just because Mastermind has surrounded himself with two ass kissers with no talent other than being weird, doesn't mean my strategy is off kilter. You just sound jealous. You just sound like you want to be a part of Chaotic Inc. I don't blame ya, and quite frankly it would be nice to have someone to get my coffee. Hell, you sit behind newly acquired Scarlett on the pecking order, no wonder you're jealous of what I have. But hey, you guys have your own gymnasium. It was so nice of you to put your cleaning duties aside to fire off a promo. Took a lotta guts, I know how anal Mastermind is about his gym being clean.
*Chris laughs because he said anal.*
"Funny how Vinnie's bottom bitch hasn't responded yet. I mean, what could he possibly have to say? His ass has been exposed as phony. He knows he is a paper champion who is only still the champion because he milks the boss under the desk more times and better than Roxy does. He hasn't replied to my title challenge because he knows he would lose. Accepting would be a disaster for him and denying would expose the coo, so I get the silent treatment. Real big balls on that boy, eh? Nathaniel, I am going to beat you to within an inch of your life and make the entire world see just how much of a joke you truly are."
"So both you and Melanie should take this as a learning experience. You both need to learn, for different reasons. Melanie needs to learn her place in the pecking order, and Nathaniel needs to learn that he is below Melanie on said pecking order, because he sold out. She stays true. You both suck, but at least Melanie is consistent. So go ahead, Mel, make up more assisine claims about me to try to make yourself look better. Try to grasp a little more desperately at those straws to pump yourself up. When we step into that ring Saturday Night you're going to be out of your league, out of your class, and Chris Chaos will show you what "crazy" really looks like.
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person apply so perfectly. Fits like a glove. If you did any research at all instead of talking out the side of your face, you'd know that things haven't gone my way because it has been the agenda of the powers that be to make it that way. But it is okay, I understand that Mastermind only gives you limited TV watching time per week. It's not your fault. When is the last time I have won a title? Well, Melanie, I'll admit it has been a while. I have held every title there is to hold here, sans the X-Treme but that is by my own doing, and I have been on a quest for the Universal Title, leaving all the others behind. I could hold any title here that I so choose, but I have had my motives for not. You are trying to throw my own plans in my face like it is going to hurt me, but the only one here with egg on their face is you. Sloppy, drippy, runny egg. What is your excuse? You say you haven't held a belt here because you are too new? That doesn't sound like anything but simply that, an excuse. Hanari held the Television Title in his second ever match. He was a tag champion before his tenth match. I was Universal Champion after four months of being on the roster. You've been here much longer than that. ![[Image: cF7tFXK.png]](https://i.imgur.com/cF7tFXK.png)
