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(06-17-2013)

You've got to be joking.

My wife starred at me from across our dinner table, with the eyes of a woman who thought a joke had run its course. The 'joke' being my employment as a professional wrestler. We had just eaten dinner and she was about to retrieve the apple pie she baked for dessert, when I gave her the news. Yeah, I know...way to fuck up dessert. However, I really didn't know how else to let her know, other than just sincerely telling her the truth. I even said it with completely honest to god sincerity and didn't make any sort of gesture to make my confession, seem like a joke. Yet she still thought I was kidding.

No, I'm not joking. I've just been lying to you, about what I do for a living...for the past 2 weeks. Well, technically...I admitted to everything to you last week, before I went to Brazil, but you thought I was joking then too. You didn't seem this angry about it the last time I told you. I mean you laughed and now you just sort of look like, you want to slap the shit out of me. Listen baby, I'm sorry I let you believe I was joking, I'm sorry I lied, but I'm telling you the truth, I work for the XWF...I'm a professional wrestler. Didn't you wonder why suddenly I'm going to Brazil for a bank job? I mean that story I told you was....well, it was just sad. I'm going to Canada, to wrestle in my third match tomorrow. I really should have just been honest with you from the get go, but I honestly didn't know how you'd react. I was afraid you'd freak out and kind of look at me, the way you're doing now. I also was worried, that you'd be fine with it and I wasn't prepared for that either. Then I met this XWF interviewer and she said it's hard to keep your personal life, from mixing with the XWF once you're involved in it. So I thought I'd come clean.

My wife said nothing, she just covered her face in her hands, as she rested her elbows on the table. I really wasn't prepared for this. Who knows where this was going, but I had a feeling nothing good was going to take place. She sat like that for the longest couple of minutes in my life, before she tilted her head to the side and began to laugh.

Wow, you're really going to tell me all that and expect me to swallow it down, as the truth. You're a real piece of work, Joseph Mitchell.

Oh, she's breaking out the full version of my first name and using my last name. Now I know she thinks, this 'joke' has gone too far. Too bad it's not a joke.

Well, it is the truth. I don't work for the bank anymore. I'm employed by the XWF now. Why is that so impossible, for you to believe?

My wife slammed her hands down onto the table and stared directly into my eyes intensely.

Why? Because you're too normal. I've known where you've been and what you've done, for our whole marriage....from even before we got married. You can't have this big, secret part of you...now. It just can't be real. I mean you quit your job and became a professional wrestler, who does that? How does that happen? That doesn't happen to real people. Not to sane people anyway. Not to normal, boring guys like you.

You think I'm boring.

Sweetie, I love you, but you aren't getting any trophies for most thrilling life. That's not the issue though. The issue is....you want me to believe, that over night, you changed and I just can't do that.

What if I could prove it to you?

How? How do you intend to prove it to me?

That's when I stood up, walked over to my wife, took her by the hand, guided her up from her seat and brought her to our computer. I went to the main XWF website and brought up video footage, from my last match. As the video played she stared at the screen, in stunned silence. When it finished she turned to me and she appeared to be, utterly beside herself with astonishment.

You're a professional wrestler. My husband, became a professional wrestler and I thought it was a joke. It's not a joke though, it's real. My husband fights in a wrestling ring and gets paid for it. He's on television and I didn't know. Wow, I feel like a complete idiot. Is there anything else, you have going on secretly? That woman interviewer that you talked with, did you sleep with her? Did you cheat on me? Are you keeping an affair from me? Maybe you're also addicted to drugs and that's why you flipped out, and beat up your boss? That's why you acted so impulsive and joined the XWF. That why you fell asleep in church today!

Damn it, I knew I wasn't going to hear the end of that last one!

No, I didn't cheat on you and I'm not addicted to drugs. The only thing I kept from you, is the quitting my job and joining the XWF.

My wife's expression softened and she looked back at the computer screen. Her eyes fixated onto a still frame of me, in the ring after my victory over Harold Davis.

Is this something you really want to do?

Yes.

My wife put her arms around me and pulled me in close, as she wrapped me in a tight embrace.

You promise you'll be careful.

Always.

Then I guess, we're going to Calgary.

I pulled back and laughed as I raised an eyebrow in confusion. We're....going to Calgary?

We're going to Calgary?

My wife grinned and I could see this was not a matter, that would be up for a debate. Somewhere between this whole thing being a joke and accepting that I'm a wrestler for the XWF, she decided she would be accompanying me to my next match. There was no telling her - no, either. Her mind was in that steel trap mode and she wouldn't accept it. So instead of fighting it, I just sighed and complied with her want, to join me in Calgary.

We're going to Calgary.

My wife let out a squeal of happiness, I had never heard her utter before as she threw her arms around me again and hugged me.

I'll start packing now!

With that she bolted from the room, leaving me to wonder if I had really made the right decision, by telling her the truth. Whether I did or not....the reality was this, my personal life was definitely, not going to be separate from the XWF any further. Tomorrow I was going to be leading my wife right into the heart of it. She was going to experience everything first hand and I had no clue, what to expect...but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. In fact I'd be lying, if I said I wasn't petrified. What would the repercussions of my actions have in store for me tomorrow and could I have prevented it, if I had just kept up the lie?

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