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Centurion · (08-03-2020)

Really? We're doing this? This is what we're doing? Our first appearance in the XWF after losing my final ever Universal Title match is going to be in a dodgeball match on Anarchy?

You bet your sweet cinnabons it is! Yes, I'm going to keep this clean for Ruby's sake.

Look, Anarchy is a weird beast. It's like the Wild West over there. Vinnie Lane does some real messed up stuff, like rolling a person in cake batter or whatever. And so a dodgeball match is absolutely something I expected him to book. And it normally would mean absolutely nothing to me. After all, Ruby has done a fine job on her own as champion, and I don't dislike Atara, so meh, this is just another one of those things I can easily ignore.

But then I heard Atara is recruiting folks to help her. And that people are taking pride in throwing dodgeballs at Ruby. And that...well, that can not stand.

Folks, let me make something perfectly clear to you - Ruby is a national treasure. She is the greatest American to ever live, and she's not even an American. Attacking her is like attacking a baby bald eagle - it's not just an affront to nature and morality, its an affront to this country. I'll just flat say it - none of you deserve Ruby. You take your potshots all the time because she's sweet and innocent in a land of violent criminals, but she could be doing literally anything else right now and being super successful at it,

Simply put, she is the future of professional wrestling. And old folks like me need to not only stand back, but we need to actively encourage her to keep pushing to the top.

So when I see the ESTEEMED Shawn Warstein saying he's going to "whip round rubberized balls right in Ruby’s stupid face", well that's just the kind of thing I refuse to stand for. It's the kind of injustice Ruby herself would fight against. So yes, I will be coming to Anarchy...and I'll be bringing this.

[Image: bt8cUf5.png]

You can hear this picture, can't you? The memories of being pelted in the face in 1st grade while that loud, rubbery sound echoes throughout the gymnasium? Yes, we've all been there. I think most of us in professional wrestling got into this business because we took one too many of these to the face.

Some day, the reign of the Banana Lime Blur will come to an end; however, it will end based on the merits of those competing in the match. It will not be because a couple of old dudes with dodgeballs make it come to an end. So Atara, if I were you, I'd ask Shawn not to throw too many dodgeballs at Ruby - because for every one that hits her, I'm pelting you with two.

BONK!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode RUBY IS A NATIONAL TREASURE!
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