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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Leap of Faith 2020 PPV
Wednesday Night Welfare
Author Message
Thunder Knuckles™ Offline
A No Good Bastard



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
07-15-2020, 08:51 PM

**Welfare**






Thunder Knuckles is sitting in his office kicked back with his feet on his desk. The luxurious executive chair he’s sitting on is leaned back as far as it will go.


Thunder Knuckles Jimmy is in the waiting for you.


Thunder Knuckles rolls his eyes and puts his feet on the ground. He then pushes the button of his secretary.


Well, send the fucker in. You don't have to tell me every fucking time Jimmy shows up.

Sorry about that, sir.


Thunder Knuckles doesn’t hit the button so the secretary can’t hear him.


Goddamn right you're fucking sorry. Now apologize.


Jimmy strolls into Thunder Knuckles’s office.


This office is so fucking awesome Thunder Knuckles.

I know the mother fucker. I come here and just hangout. Something needs to be done. Just get some other mother fucker to do it for me. This mother fuckin’ CEO shit is great.

How’s the EXTRA: Thunder Strike campaign going?


Jimmy asks but only wants to talk about Thunder Knuckles’s opponent at Leap of Faith.


Without a fucking hitch! Fucking greatest minds in the world are working on that shit.


Thunder Knuckles smiles and becomes a little too cocky.


Yeah, fucking called the head of NASA and Ellon Musk and on the next flight to space. Each fucking astronaut is going to have a pack of EXTRA: Thunder Strike. I mean fuck, seeing as they're finding out that EXTRA: Thunder Strike lasts longer than ONE AND THREE DAYS… Turns out, the formula is pretty fucking strong. Stronger than I thought. Maybe, I rushed this shit out to market? They’re projecting now that it could last AT LEAST ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY DAYS!

That’s good, that’s good.


Jimmy is trying to steer the conversation towards XWF.


But, hey. Umm. Have you seen who you're facing at Leap of Faith?

What do you think, Jimmy?

Well, sometimes you do. Mostly when you're amped up. I figured you would be. I mean, seeing as.

Don’t you fucking dare.

What?

You fucking know what.

Chris Page stealing your title…


Thunder Knuckles stares at Jimmy.


Who fucking cares?

WHAT!?

I thought you were going to say something else… But, I said who the fuck cares.


Jimmy who’s visibly upset and rather confused.


Why? I don’t understand.

At the end of the day. I'm still the fucking champion. He wants to walk around carrying my belt. Who gives a fuck? One less thing I have to carry around. My paycheck will still fucking reflect me being the champion.


Thunder Knuckles looks directly into the camera staring at Vinnie and Theo. This lasts for an entire minute. Both Vinnie and Theo know exactly why this is happening.


Okay, you get that out of the way?

Yeah. So who is next anyway? What’s their Savage record?


Jimmy pauses not knowing what to do. Thunder KNuckles will not be happy about fighting someone who’s never had a match on either Savage or Anarchy.


I need to talk to you about that actually. You see-

Oh fuck, it’s not Jim Jimson, is it? If it’s Jim-

NO! Don’t you fucking say it! It’s not Jim. Just drop it.

Fine.

It’s The Collector.

Who? Never heard of him.


Jimmy knows this is the moment to stand up and stand behind his chair, so he does.


Well, he’s never had a match on Savage.


What? Ohhh he must be on Anarchy, right?


Jimmy looks down at the ground.


No. He’s on W-

FUCK NO!


Thunder Knuckles grabs a picture of Wrigley Jr.’s family. That Thunder Knuckles left on the desk to make it look like he knows people and he hurled it toward Jimmy.


How the actual fuck does a fucking Warfare guy get a shot at the TV Title? Hmmm!

I don’t know how Thunder Knuckles. I haven't been studying him. Until this was announced, of course. Honestly, I don’t know how he’s even in title contention in the first place.

The fuck does that even mean?

Well on his debut, he lost to Roman.

Centurion’s boy?

Well, that’s never actually been confirmed, but yeah, I guess so.

Fuck, that guy came and went, eh?

Sure did but not as fast as The Collector. After that lose to Roman he vanished.

Well, that was some time ago. So did he go on some tear of something?

No. He was gone for a while and just recently came back.


Thunder Knuckles looks upset.


How fucking recently?


Thunder Knuckles is staring daggers into Jimmy. Jimmy has his head down making circles with his left foot and quietly says,


About a month ago.


So, wait, wait. This guy loses his first match and has been back for what? A whole minute and fucking half? Not to mention he’s a fucking Warfare rassler? Fighting for MY Television title, a goddamn Savage belt, mind you?


Jimmy looks nervous.


Yes. That’s pretty much it.

Oh, oh, that's just fucking peachy, isn’t it? Who’s his big marquee wins? Peter Gilmour? Oh because I’ve beat that legend twice now.


Jimmy is still looking nervous.


He still hasn’t actually… fought Peter Gilmour yet.


Thunder Knuckles looks into the camera and lips the words “What the fuck”.


Well, who the fuck has beat?

Gage Gannon.

Who?

Another Warfare guy.


Thunder Knuckles brushes that comment away with his right hand.


And?

Evan Jackson in a first blood match.


Thunder Knuckles shrug because he doesn’t know either of those names nor does he care.


Anything that comes out of Warfare sucks because Smoking Bob doesn’t take care of his people the way Atticus White does. If Atticus White wanted to have some stupid fucking “Highland Games”...


Thunder Knuckles makes a jerking off motion.


...and said he’d pay the winners of the game ONE THOUSAND xbux per event. Atticus would just fucking pay it. Why because Atticus is a stand up fucking dude. He knows what it's like to have nothing, look at him! Respectable. Upfront, kinda guy. BigD has just been a BigB when it comes to White in my opinion. White isn’t a sleazy fuck about paying, like that fucking tubby bitch of man, Smoking Bob Willaims would be slash is. It pisses me off to no fucking end that we have to even mention that fucking show period. This is a goddamn Pay-Per-View where a lot of premier, talented, and respectable Savage stars were overlooked for a shot at MY Television Championship.


Jimmy stays quiet knowing that at any minute, Thunder Knuckles should calm down.


So, what the fuck, Jimmy. Do you have any dirt on this kid?

Very little. Like I said he hasn’t been around long. I did find this interesting though.


Jimmy pulls out his cell phone and plays a clip of The Collector's second promo versus Evan Jackon. Thunder Knuckles points down to have Todd show what Jimmy is showing him on the bottom of your television screen.


The Collector Said:You’re god damn right I’m destined for big things. I wouldn’t call beating and humiliating Gage Gannon a big win. I’ve had big wins and I consider neither he nor my win- “big.”



Thunder Knuckles smiles like a on bath salts.


Destined for big fucking things, huh? Okay, kid.

That’s not the interesting part. Notice he told Evan Jackson that beating Gage Gannon isn’t a big win… Then says he had big wins.


Thunder Knuckles half-ass paying attention, agrees with Jimmy.


Uh-huh.


Jimmy blankly looks at Thunder Knuckles before spouting out.


He made his debut against Roman and lost! Then beat Gage Gannon. At that point, he didn’t actually have a big win. Hell, Gage Gannon is his only win at that point. So we’re going to have to pay particularly close attention to what this Collector guy says.

Sounds like he just spits fucking nonsense and hopes it sticks.

Something else that's interesting is that he’s the Grandson of Allister Henry.


Thunder Knuckles says as confident and cocky as you've ever heard him,


I’ve done some work for that guy before. I’ve done some work with Lizzy too but that was a long time ago. Goddamn, I’ll never forget that.


Thunder Knuckles looks up into the air, smiles, and blushes just a little bit. He looks back at Jimmy.


That’s one fine ass firecracker, right there.

I know all about it. You’ve told me about it about a million times. How could I forget?


Thunder Knuckles, who is still cheesing from ear to ear says,


That kid is a runt. If it was he granddad I’d be fucking scared but it’s not. Just some weak-ass frail boy too scared to work for ‘Ol Poppop.

He’s paid the debts of some of the people who owe Alister money.


Thunder Knuckles is in shock.


He just gave away money?

Yep, just like Robinhood.


Stupid.

You’ve done it.

I was fucking brainwashed during War Games, by a fucking cult. It’s a little fucking different.


Jimmy shrugs.


Eh. If you say so.


So, how about that Draw on Savage?


Thunder Knuckles stands up, grabs a cup of pens off his desk, and launches them at Jimmy. Jimmy doesn’t get away in time. The cup and a few pens bounce off Jimmy’s forehead. Jimmy yells out in pain.


Ow, shit Thunder Knuckles I was kidding.

Well, fucking kidding just got you fucking hurt, didn't it, Jimmy? Maybe next time, you’ll shut your fucking mouth before you say something fucking stupid. Won’t you?


Jimmy nursing his head.


Yeah…


Thunder Knuckles grabs his earlobes and hums a tune to calm down.


Okay, I’m sorry, Jimmy. I shouldn’t have thrown that at you. I’m a little fucking frustrated with management at this point. Throwing me into a match with Welfare trash.

I think you mean Warfare.

No… I said it right. I got some big fucking news though, Jimmy! Since I have all this money now. I’ve been working with Todd and we’ve started this pretty dope ass rassler hype thing. Take a look.


Thunder Knuckles winks into the camera and gives the middle finger. Todd now knows to play the video. Your screen fades into an XWF TV logo and the film begins.

**The most entertaining wrestlers in XWF today.**

Narrated by Liev Schreiber






HHL: Let's make this point that you can be born with enormous talent. You can be a Doc D’ville or an Engineer but you don’t achieve what they achieve by being born that way. That takes countless hours of studying to perfect what they do.

Pip: I also want to point out that it takes a special kind of wrestler to understand that, to just get it.


Throughout time flashiness has always been an aspect of professional wrestling. It can be perceived in different ways. You may prefer the controversy of Shawn Warstein,


Highlights of Shawn Warsteins career play on your screen.


the slipperiness of Gator. The audacity of Sid Feder, or the extravagance of Drew Archyle. The list goes on.


Highlights of Sid Feder, Drew Archyle, and Gator play on your screen.


In this video, we look at the most entertaining wrestlers in XWF today. Not the Centurion or Chris Chaos types but the wrestlers who turn fights into spectacles.

Your screen shows Centurion being pinned by the Hired Gun. Then it shows Chris Chaos riding the coattails of Peter Gilmour. Neither man’s clips last very long.





A creepy voice is heard saying,


When Collecting goes wrong.





The fade from commercial to show is almost seamless.


Showboating, extravagance, and style. Wrestlers who turn the heat up to entertain the fans. The kind of wrestler who you don’t want to miss!


An explosion happens on your screen and it fades into a desert.


It would be impossible to make this list without Australian superstar Jim "The Jim” Jimson. Slick movement, unpredictability, and seamless ability to entertain make him a nightmare for any opponent. Just look at what he did to The Jester, Liam Robert, and Crazy Steve in his first match back since the disappointment of being replaced at War Games.


Highlights of Jim Jimson win on Savage July 13th, 2020 play on your screen.


The Wizard, one of the newest to make the list with his huge aura and skills to match. He brings guaranteed entertainment.


Highlights of The Wizard’s most recent win on Savage July 13th, 2020 play on your screen.


However, in his last bout, he was denied the Xtreme Championship when Hanari Carnes was unable to comply with the twenty-four hour seven days a week lifestyle…


A clip of Hanari Carnes losing the Xtreme Championship plays on your screen.


...that is the Xtreme Championship. Carnes lost the Championship to Wrestler82.





The commercial begins with a father and son in a grocery store. The child puts candy in the cart but the father puts the candy back on the shelf. The child begins to scream and cry to try and get his way. The father is blankly looking at the screaming child. Once the young boy figures out that the candy isn’t going to return to the shopping cart. He begins throwing a giant temper tantrum. A woman walks up to the father and says.


You should have used this.


The woman hands the father a trojan box.


[Image: GUEST_97b41fb3-2a94-496c-888b-28d7fa564a...&fmt=pjpeg]



The words "All the pleasure none of the children" appear on your screen in fun comic sans font before going back to the show.


Next up is a man from Venice Beach California. Who made a lot of noise at War Games, Dick Powers. Known for his ability to entertain and his mentality to throw caution to the wind. He seems to be one of the must-see wrestlers making a return to XWF. He is set to fight at Leap of Faith in an over the top battle royal, a win there could catapult him into bigger things.


Highlights of Dick Powers' entire Career are played on your screen.





A similar monster truck voice could be heard.


ARE YOU READY FOR UNADULTERATED MAYHEM?


Highlights of Savage's top wrestlers play on your screen big move after big move if performed for your viewing pleasure.


FUCK WARFARE, BE SAVAGE! WATCH SAVAGE SATURDAY NIGHTS! THE TELEVISION CHAMPION ALWAYS DEFENDS HIS TITLE! UNLIKE WARFARE WHERE NEW HART CHAMPION NATHANIEL IDENHAUS ALREADY TOOK A VACATION! GET YOUR TICKETS TODAY!


The commercial ends with a giant firework display behind the Savage graphic.


[Image: V3i33MC.png]



Probably the flashiest on the list and leading the way on raw unfiltered entertainment. Who brings more drama than the man who has the finest Foot DDT in wrestling history, Thunder Knuckles.


Highlights of Thunder Knuckles’s Television Championship run are played on your screen. A video of Thunder Knuckles being interviewed by a PWI magazine reporter, after one of his six title defenses.


Thunder Knuckles: Every time you come to a Thunder Knuckles show that's what you're going to get, damn it! You’re going to get your fucking money's worth.

Lima Ohio’s monster has stepped up his game and his profile in 2020. With select one-liners and an all-out aggressive promo style, Thunder Knuckles matches have become unmissable.

Thank you for watching this presentation of The most entertaining wrestlers in XWF today. Until next time XWF fans, stay safe and wear your freedom masks.



Your screen fades back to back to Thunder Knuckles. He’s smiling and now sitting in his luxurious executive chair kicked back.


You like that, mother fuckers? Wait till next week. Jimmy, call up my pilot! We’re going on an adventure and pulling someone's ass out of retirement.


**PREACH**



Collector… Your biggest win IS Gage Gannon. Followed by your first blood match victory over Evan Jackson congratulations you’ve won the XWF fucking lottery somehow that gives you the right to face me. Yep, ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles the current XWF Television Champion! You can thank your Grandfather for your opportunity, I'm fucking sure of it. I’d sit here and talk shit about you all day. From your goofy fucking mask to your fucking nasally voice. Like a high strung fucking weed eater. Look at me fuckers. I’m cool, look at my purge mask. Get the fuck outta here. The only thing that going to get fucking purged is your ass back to fucking Welfare.


Jimmy tries to correct Thunder Knuckles.


War-


Thunder Knuckles picks up his stapler and bounces it off Jimmy's shoulder. Jimmy bellows out,

Ow!


Thunder Knuckles yells at Jimmy,


SHUT THE FUCK UP! That’s what the fuck I said…


Thunder Knuckles takes a deep breath.


Okay, kid. It’s not your fault that you're in this situation. I’ll tell you what. Your Grandfather probably paid off some of the management in fucking booking. Hey, it’s okay, I’d do the same thing if these fucking belts mattered, but they don’t. Just remember the only thing worth a shit is your fucking paycheck.


Thunder Knuckles cracks his knuckles.


There is the matter of our damned match stipulation though. Hmm. Oh, I think I got it! It’s going to be a fucking doozy. You're too weak-hearted. Helping those in need and shit.


Thunder Knuckles gives another jerking off motion.


That needs to be whipped right the fuck out of you and I have just that match to do it. What we’re going to do it take a leather strap and put it around our fucking wrists and I'm going to beat the fucking shit out of with it. That’s right, folks! We’re going to have a good old fashion fucking strap match! Twelve fucking feet of unforgiving full-grain leather! The only way to win normally is to have to go around the ring, touching all four corners in order and without fucking stopping! You stop. Start over. Although in this strap match! It can end in a fucking pinfall. I’m not going to let the fucking time limit get me this fucking time!

I guess it’s time you collect another “L”, dick. This time it isn’t going to be at the hands of fucking Roman. It’ll be at mine.


The scene fades to black as Thunder Knuckles turns his back and walks away.

[Image: brofade.gif]
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