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Lacklan · (06-17-2020)

Sarah Lacklan, adorned in a dress of white and gold which has what might possibly be the puffiest sleeves ever sewn, pushes back the brim of her hand and looks left and right. She squints the odd red eyes behind the thick glasses as she turns towards the sun, having to take a moment to shake away the sudden pain, but then smiles to herself when she sees no cars coming. Looking up, she sees that the traffic line is clearly a solid red hand, and NOT a green walking symbol or even a blinking red hand, and she lowers her hat down onto her brow and takes a big step of her heeled boots into the street.

“STOP, EVIL DOER!”

Rappelling down the side of a building, clad in green and yellow and with the glint of a GoPro strapped to her head catching the sun, Ruby makes her way down quickly and stands before Sarah with her arms on her hips.

“Don’t you know that jaywalking is dangerous and-”

She cuts off as Sarah pushes the wide-brimmed hat up her head, the mass of peacock feathers moving in the wind.

“I knew that would work. Dork.”

Ruby shakes her head as she reaches up and removes her mask.

“Sarah! Buddy! Don’t you know how bad it is for-”

“Table for ‘Stupid Idiot?’ Table for two for ‘Stupid Idiot!’”

Ruby gives a flat stare as Sarah flashes her Billion $$$ Smile.

“Rubes! It looks like your table is ready! Right on time, as always!”

Sarah spins on her heel and marches towards the restaurant behind her, the greeter looking on them with curiosity, and Ruby is forced to follow suit. Before long, the women who comprise two thirds of all Anarchy Champions are seated at a table, a glass of seltzer water with a lime wedge in front of Ruby and a half carafe of red wine in front of Sarah.

“So, tell me how things have been.”

Ruby picks up her drink and sniffs it with narrowed eyes. Sarah’s perfectly shaped eyebrows rise up in question and Ruby grimaces.

“You can never be TOO safe with Miss Fury and B.O.B. around.”

She takes a small sip of her water, nods at the flavor and lack of poison status, and sets it down. She claps her hand and smiles wide.

“Well, lets see, Lackersnackers! Where to begin?!”

Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus, Rubes. I don’t care. I REALLY don’t care. Okay Sar-Sar: Smile. Nod. Occasional chuckle. Good. Good. The stupid idiot things you’re paying attention.

Light’s truth, I NEVER thought I would be adding another few lines on my record under the XWF banner. I was sick of THEM, they were sick of ME, and BOOM! So long, and thanks for all the fish. But, hey, don’t say never in this business, amIright? Especially when there is a prize to be won.

Leap of Faith?

Tokyo Dome?

I wants it!

Last year, I defended MY Anarchy Championship AND earned $50k of Drezdin’s shoe money at the event. But THIS year? I want that briefcase. Or whatever the dumb fuckery the match is for. You GIVES it to me!

Ugh. She’s still talking. Yes yes, 27 people a show beat you up. That’s why I’m here, dummy! Because NO ONE takes MY JOB! Its MY job to kick in your stupid head!

Wait, she’s talking about the Thugs, now. Okay, at least pay half attention. Hmmm. Seems like the Thugs are still the losers they were when I was here before. Nice to know nothing’s changed! Seriously, these dipshits have been saying the SAME things the SAME way with the SAME lack of success since I was in High School!

GOOOOoooooooOOOOOOO VIKINGS!

Mang, I miss cheerleading sometimes.

Sweet Baby Jesus’ pock-free bottom, Rubes, you’re STILL talking? Ugh.

Thugs. You know what I’ve done in the last year? I’ve had ups and downs! I’ve been a World Champion! I’ve defended against some INCREDIBLE fighters! I’ve LOST that championship to my own goddamn SISTER (who NEVER reminds me of it in my Digital Pigeons….ever….really….smug bitch….)! I have had peaks and valleys. I have had GROWTH. And what have the Thugs had? Just a field of grey as they fight the same fight without any change.

“We’re being held down!”

“We gets no respects!”

“Code of the streets, bitch!”

For fucks sake, they have been singing that tune forEVER. And why? Because that is all they ARE. Just the same words, the same offense, the same mentality, thrown at the XWF roster repeatedly to the point of ad nauseum. And the result? The ONLY flash of curiosity and interest in them is sparked by B.O.B. beating up my stupid idiot of a frenemy and the Thugs getting a pity jerk by association. They get to rub off the success, heat, and interest of people who actually DO SOMETHING besides doing NOTHING over and again. And THAT winds them up in THIS opportunity to get their ass whooped by the Queen of Anarchy.

Hmmm. Wonder if I can get that Game Girl chick to make me a new banner? She’s still around, right?

I bet #MainStillFearsSar. Ugh...hanging out with my sister too much...literally said ‘hashtag’ in my head...

I wonder if Rubes is still triggered by losing to Noah? I’ll have to show up to Anarchy with some Cunt Oh’s and see what happens. That will be HILARIOUS.

Man, are we gonna whoop some Thug ass on Monday. Ruby and I are the two most decorated members of the Anarchy Roster...well, besides Bobbi...and we’ll be able to balance out her dumb flippy shit with my strike and ground game and kaBLAMo! Combo Ruby Cutter/Abyss. I don’t know how the math works on that, but-

“Stop!”

Sarah blinks her eyes and sees Ruby pointing an accusatory finger at a bill-skipper running away from a manager. She hides her face under her hat as to avoid the embarrassment of being next to Ruby and-

To be continued!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode #TeamSaruby, Part I
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