An illegal broadcast beams in over the airwaves and the signal frantically fights through the static!


Remember back in 87 when Max Headroom hacked his way onto the air? This could be interesting!





















Oh, nevermind…

”Ms. Direction has been kidnaped by the NYPD and is currently being held as a suspected Canadian terrorist by our fascist government! Isn’t that a laugh! While everyone is bitching about black lives, there’s a young white girl from a foriegn nation that is being falsely accused of setting off a bomb in New York City! Need I remind everyone that she disarmed the terrorist and saved all of those people before the dipshits that are the NYPD got involved? If anyone set off that bomb, it was likely those idiots, but now due to police stupidity B.O.B. is paying the ultimate price as we have been left without a leader! We have the muscles, we have the numbers, but we’re now lacking the brilliance that has guided B.O.B. into becoming the powerful force that it is!”

“This puts B.O.B. at a huge disadvantage going into whatever the fuck this match is. Or, it would if Mastermind wasn’t one of the 4 standing across from us on the opposing team! Sure, we’re now heading into battle without our most brilliant leader, but having Mastermind over there trying to interpret or plan anything only works to our favor, helps even the odds and all that jazz. See, I’m not a smart guy, and I don’t claim to be one, but MM, on the other hand is about as dull as Kris Von Bitches hammer. Speaking of, I seem to recall SOMEONE hitting me with a hammer while traveling to that private villa Hanari rented but claimed to own. Hey, do what you’ve gotta do I always say, but don’t cry when you get your receipt!”

“Then we’ve got fucking Tula Keali'i. Wannabe superhero who just really wants to be noticed. Well I noticed ya baby cakes, and while you’re out of my typical age range, I don’t see any reason why we can’t have a little fun together! Maybe we peel that flesh back and see how young you are at heart? Sounds like a good time to me, and it may be the one thing that I’m looking forward to in this booking.”

“Wanna know what I’m not looking forward to? Getting back into the ring with some emo bitch that falls apart over nothing! Yeah, I’m talking to you Zane! Last time we met in that ring, you were lucky enough to be carried out with a draw, but I’ve been doing some research and you wanna know what I learned? Apparently, zombies hate fire! I know, blew my mind too. Who would have thought that rotted flesh would not only burn, but burn better than, uh, fresh flesh? Regardless, learning of this has made me very happy, because now I know that I have the tools to put zombie Zane away for good, and all it’s going to take is one spit of my fire breath! Heh, actually, I am kinda looking forward to that!”

“There’s also a Blackwater in this match, but I’ve deemed the three of them to be not worth my time. Especially when I need to try an figure out a way to find a replacement for Ms. Direction. Of course, sucking the crud from underneath my toenails would also be far more important task than wasting a single breath on a Blackwater!”

*RING*RING*

”Oh, what’s this?” Graves says, obviously playing dumb(er than he actually is). He looks at his phone. ”Looks like someone is answering my ad!”

Oh yeah, Graves hung these “everywhere” once Vita Valenteen was caught by the NYPD and terminated the next day by the XWF. A short montage of Graves stapling these things everywhere is shown. The best part was when he carelessly stapled one to a Rottweiler's ass and was chased for about a block before he gassed and the dog had it’s way with him.

Graves answers the call, but you can only hear his side of the conversation.

”Brotherhood of Baddies, Gravy speaking!”



“Uh huh…”



“Yes we are actually...”



“You do huh?”



“Yeah, that’s pretty evil alright!”



“Serves the cunt right!”



“I’m sure she did! Listen, I’m liking what I hear! How would YOU like to be the new leader of B.O.B.?”



“Excellent, meet me at...”



Graves shifts his attention to the camera that’s still filming him.



”You know what, I’ll text you the address later.”



Graves ends the call and plays some air guitar like Bill and Ted!


”Good news BOBamaniacs! B.O.B. has just secured a “NEW LEADER” I know, I know, perhaps I should have been more thorough with my questions, and maybe letting a new recruit take over the leadership of the group is a bit of a brash decision, but these are just evidences as to why I’m not qualified for the job! So with that said, B.O.B.s new leader WILL be taking Ms. Directions place in this match and at the top of the B.O.B. empire! Who is they? They is planning to reveal themselves really soon!