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(Gravy_Xtreme_5000) · (05-19-2020)

The B.O.B. Space Satellite v.1 (we stole it, duh) beams out a signal that begins a chain reaction of hacking into the systems of every other satellite in the sky.

[Image: bobsat-copy.jpg]

Suddenly, every TV, Ipad, Iphone, and Android device suddenly cut to static as the following video plays.

We cut in with an unusually close on Micheal Graves. His eyes alone fill the screen and the sounds of high winds cause mild distortion in the sound.

MG: “Listen, at this point, we all know who I am and what I’ve done. And No! I’m Not talking about my undying devotion towards one Dolly Waters that This company decided to twist and mutate into a narrative that painted me as the Villain in the minds of, well, pretty much everyone. No! I’m not going to drudge on and on about how this company took a natural and pure love story and twisted it into something sick. I’m not going to go on about how despite my efforts to be a hero, long before all this superhero bullshit started were undermined at every turn because of this company's desire to hold me down was so strong, that they would resort to recruiting Kings into battle just to smite me from the board.”

The camera dramatically pulls away, revealing Micheal Graves floating in space after successfully hacking B.O.B. SS v1.

MG: “This is the story of a boy, who liked a girl, who asked him to goto space and hack a satellite.”

Graves twitches slightly.

MG: “Wait… No, this is a story about how Micheal Graves has been dumped on his entire life, but not until now has he found himself so utterly buried in SHIT that even he may not be able to survive this latest attempt to bury the career of Micheal Graves! And no, I’m not about to go on some misdirected tirade against management and try to blame them for all of my failings. No, I’m blaming STUPIDITY! Shane ! What The Fuck!?! You were supposed to pick me! Everyone guessed Gilly, but we both knew you’d outsmart them on that play. Why take him first when you KNEW he would be a safe pick for the second or even third round. But then you chose HIM! Dick Fucking Powers? Other than an amazing name, what does this clown bring to your team that I don’t? Eh, maybe you were just trying to overstate your confidence in winning this thing by wasting the first pick on him when there was a perfectly good Gravy right here. But make no mistake Shane, your absent minded forgetfulness of the one true protector of the potato will have consequences! Grave Consequences!”

MG: “Then there was Robert Main, picking Chris Page over me? Current brother over estranged brother, heh, I get it. It would have been insulting for you to choose anyone else, plus you did fight to bring me over to your team after Spic and Spanish recruited me into a team of misfits and weirdos! Who even is Low mo and why have I been damned to team with him!?!”

MG: “Whaddya mean he’s not on my team!?!”

MG: “Well thank fucking Christ for that! One less turd to carry!”

MG: “Wait, he did what?”

MG: “ROBERT MAIN TRIED TO TRADE LOW MO FOR ME!?!”

MG: “That’s all I am to you dude!?! A Fucking Low mo!? You couldn’t even come off that sorry sack of shit Thunder Knuckles for me? That dude will sell out your entire team for the right price…”

MG: “YO TK, SORRY FOR SAVAGE. ALL BUSINESS. ANYWAY. HIT ME UP IF YOU LIKE BUX!”

MG: “Now, what was I saying? OH YEAH! Fucking Low mo!?! You don’t even know how fucking pissed off I am right now “bro”! Need I remind you that I’VE kicked YOUR ass before? and the second longest reigning XWF champion in history, I think it would be safe to say that you’re the number one guy on your team, right? And I’ve beaten you the one and only time we’ve ever stood opposite, yet you skip over ME for Page, and then offer up some pathetic shrimp like Low mo? Hanari may be an arrogant piece of shit, but at least he knows a bad deal when he sees it. The fact that you even put that offer on the table is something that I find insulting. More insulting that you’re needless attack against me when I politely asked you and your boy to back away from VV.”

As Graves continues to speak, you notice that he seems to be floating closer and closer towards the Earth.

MG: “See, I’m starting to think that you people aren’t taking me very seriously anymore. Of course, I am well aware that my antics have led to me appearing as a mere jester of the court. An offensive little thing that is good for a laugh or two, but no real threat to anymore. I must say, it really pains me to know that so many of you are so blinded by what you see one the outside, that you can so quickly forget the real monster lying just beneath the surface. I can beat somebody, I’ve done it before! But even when I don’t win, which is most of the time thinking about it… Well I still get shit done, like beating a lesson into a brother and a mindless husk that if it had half a brain wouldn’t have insulted me so!”

MG: “As for Fuzz, fuck Fuzz. Glad he didn’t pick me. Same goes for his old bitch and that other fossil, Centurion. The only fate worse than Team Shit would have been any of those options. Huh, thinking about it, Team shit isn’t so… No! They’re still shit, just a little fresher. And isn’t that how you want your shit anyway? Fresh and stinky? Atari is more like white and brittle. One step and she’s dust. I’ll make sure to wear my finest clodhoppers. Stomp her out real nice. This fight’s been brewing since I first came back into this shit hole. The girl took one look at me and fell instantly in love. And this one, let me tell ya, CRAZY BITCH! First she’s all over me, just begging for it, then when the plans are set, nowhere to be found. Same thing happened with the boy toy. Fuzz was all game to talk some shit and crack some bones, then nothing. Both of’em a couple of no good stand uppers! Well I may have had to deal with the embarrassment of dining alone, but it’ll be you Atari, that feels the wrath of a lover scorned! And if by some miracle Fuzz’s team finds their way into the main event with me, then I pray that they bring the only dude who’s real name manages to sound faker than his fake one with them.”

Micheal begins to sweat noticeably. He tries to wipe his forehead, but spacesuit, duh. He looks annoyed before continuing.

MG: “But I’m getting ahead of myself here. The chances of Fuzz making it to the main event are slim to say the least. Centurion? Not a fan. No particular reason. Just don’t like the guy. We’ve bounced around this place together since the early days. During those times, we’ve managed to never have one match. Pretty sure anyway. Maybe we fought all the time and I’ve just lost those memories along with the other half of my life? Or maybe Centurion isn’t even real? Guys!!? Is Centurion real!?! Like, do you see him doing and saying the things that I see him doing and saying? I sometimes have problems in this area. I can’t tell the difference between reality and … uh… well the shit I see. It can real bad too. I once retired to get married and raise a family, only to find out a decade later that it was all in my head! I’m thinking Centurion may be in my head too. It would explain why we’ve never crossed paths, right?”

Graves ponders on it for a moment.

MG: “you know what, nah, he has to be real. If he were a part of me, he wouldn’t be nearly as…”

Graves stops to listen to a voice in his ear.

MG: “What do you mean don’t say it?”

MG: “It’s not a joke, it’s the Goddamned truth!”

MG: “Well maybe everyone says it because it’s fucking true!”

MG: “What do you mean it’s subjective?”

MG: “Fine, I won’t mention how boring he is, but I want the record to state that I did so against my better judgement!”

MG: “Centurion is okay I guess. I mean, I suppose he has held onto the Hart title for a minute. Not that that’s THAT big of a deal considering some of the competition that he’s had, but it’s still SOMETHING, so at least he’s no Low mo. Grrrrrr That fucking reminds me, I have to make it to the main event and make sure that no good backstabbing “brother” of mine doesn’t win this whole thing! God knows he’s going to give it everything he’s got. To the point that it becomes an obsession. Dude’s messed up, I’ve worked with him, remember? Don’t twist that though. One of the best. Truly deserving of everything he’s gotten. The problem is, winning is ALL that he cares about. To the point that I can see him now, going over things with his team. Telling them what to do, what to say. They are like soldiers to him. Pawns to get him the result that he longs for. The result that inches him ever closer to the one thing that occupies his mind at every restful moment. Robert Main wins, he’s back on top. Sure, tag champs. I get it, but that shit isn’t enough for Mr. Ego. He needs that Universal title. He needs that top 50 spot. He needs his place in the Hall of Legends, and his every waking moment is spent plotting how to get it all. Tough opponent. Tough, tough opponent. Still, you don’t insult a brother the way that you did and walk away scott free. You hurt my pride and you drove a dagger into the heart of our friendship, and if I do nothing else at War Games, I’m making it my mission to fuck you up before you can win. Sorry bro, but karma’s a bitch!”

Meanwhile

There is a big maroon leather chair facing a giant window overlooking a pristine landscape. There were a few fluffy whites in the otherwise blue sky. The recently cleaned windows glimmered in the sun's glow.

At the table behind the chair sat 4 other chairs. In front of each chair was a cigar, a shot glass, a laminated packet. There is a small billow of smoke coming up from the big maroon chair. Turning around, Hanari is sitting in the chair in a white suit and gold tie. The smoke was coming from the cigar in his hand.

Nicaraguan.

He snaps his fingers and a man wearing a polo comes into the room, holding a cell phone.

HC: Charles, my cell phone.

He pulls a phone out of his shirt pocket, handing it to Hanari. He powers it on, and scrolls to his message app. He landed on a "NEW CONTACT"

Michael Graves.

Still Falling

Suddenly Graves' cell phone rings, and comically, he pulls it out of his space pocket.

It’s a text message.

HC: “Micheal, it’s me, Hanari Carnes, you’re team captain, do you have a minute?”

MG: “Uh, I’m sorta in the middle of something atm!”

HC: “Perfecto! Listen, I just wanted to say welcome to the team and that I know that I made a wise decision adding you to our ranks.”

MG: “You’re Goddamned right you did. You bunch of idiots wouldn’t stand a chance without me, but I gotta say that I’m pretty disappointed being brought into such a shit team! If I’m going to be doing extra work, I think I should be making extra money. Definitely more than Mastermind, whose ass I’m going to kick in a few days by the way!”

After a brief pause, and a chuckle from El Capitán, he types again.

HCt: You can discuss finances with him shortly. You see, right after Anarchy goes off the air, I have arranged a ride to the airport, where you will be transported here to my Villa. The trip will take place on Mastermind's private jet. So, you two can...bond....lets say

"Bond? Listen pal! I'm already pretty fuckin unhappy about you drafting me to this shitty team, and with the blunt of the work laying on my fuckin shoulders going into this shit, the last thing I need is to have an babysit that dimwitted midget! Besides, I'm in space!"

Graves feet and legs begin to catch fire from reentry.

"Sorta..."

The camera pulls back further as it is revealed that Micheal Graves, in nothing but a mere spacesuit, is reentering the Earth's atmosphere!

MG: “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

He exclaims as the heat continues to rise. Good thing he has that magical golden potato shoved firmly up his ass. It should do well to keep him alive, unfortunately, being in his ass as it is, he can’t use it to teleport out of this situation.

MG: “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck…..”

Fade to black…

We fade back into a shot of the bright blue sky. AS the camera pans, a completely nude, but fully healed Micheal Graves is falling through the sky unconscious.

Suddenly his phone, still in his hand and presumably protected by the same magic, begins to ring.

MG: Uhhh... “

Micheal’s eyes open as he struggles to comprehend his situation.

MG: “What the?”

The phone continues to ring. Graves doesn’t recognize the number, but considering his options right now, what else can he do?

MG: “Uh, hello?”

Mastermind: “Micheal Graves? It’s Mastermind. Hanari has asked that I use my privet jet to assemble the Wargames team. I am heading to the states now, where should I pick you up?”

MG: “Uh?”

Micheal looks around, trying to figure out what part of the world he is falling over.

MG: “Somewhere in the middle east.”

Mastermind: “Excuse me?”

MG: “The middle east. You know, like Egypt, or China or something.”

Mastermind: “What are you doing in Asia?”

MG:: “Falling?”

Mastermind: “Just tell me exactly where to pick you up!”

MG: “I’m thinking that I’m going to aim for Japan. School girl fetish and all. Sounds good?”

[Image: Afew-Moments-Later.jpg]

MG: "HOW'D YA GET HERE SO FAST!?!"

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