"THE HOTEL LOGIC WINDOW"

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"Bruh if you tryna'eat clean you only should be eating a few things::: Rice, oat meal, potatoes, meat, eggs... THAT'S IT!!! Vegetables are really overrated in my book. How you gonna tell someone to eat vegetables when they fuck with your system and be givin you horrible ass gas bro? Fuck em. Fuck veggies!"

"The Great" Amjetkun "Path Maker Extraordinaire" Socio "The Royal Moat Maker Of The Olde Kings" is seen lecturing several college kids via some kind of virtual group gathering using his shitty laptop. I think he's using something called Zoom but I'm not really sure so I don't know what to call it. Yeah you guessed it I'm a fill in narrator because the usual guy got sick and Amjetkun is too lazy to narrate his own promo this time.

So, being that I'm not even sure what this guy's deal is, I'm just seeing some dumb ass steroid abusing looking idiot. Maybe some of you know Amjetkun better, and maybe some of you are seeing him for the first time right with me! To those fellow first timers of being subjected to this weirdo's promos, I say cheers!

Socio continues to lecture I'm guessing about 12 students on his laptop. He has no shirt on, and his muscles are glistening as if he was just oiled down for a bodybuilding show even though he's all alone in his hotel room. It's a really nice hotel room with a bed! So of course he's sprawled out on the bed in a provocative pose for his students, who all seem to be taking extensive notes and paying super good attention.

"And broh's that's why I always say it's important as fuck to eat the shit outta them calories when you're out there in the wild, on your own, and there's no telling when you'll see your next pair of tits. When you're fending for yourself and everyone is out to eat you, you'll be thanking the living fuckin' shit outta your boy! Fuck yeeah! YIZZIYOOHEEYEEAH! BITCH I'M ON SOME SHIT!"

This dude's eyes are bugging out and a vein in his forehead looks ready to rupture. Heh, boy, whatever shit Socio is on? That's the same shit I wish I was on. Somebody send me his recipes please.

Next we see Amjetkun start slapping keys on his laptop with both of his hands but he's not moving his fingers?!? His hands are all swollen. No like, SWOLLEN. All red and bumpy. What the heck?

"Ugh, ack, dammit! Fuckin' bees!"

He's flinging imaginary bees off his hands or something. Oh wait! I bet he got stung by a bunch of bees earlier while trying to live off the fat of the land and going after wild honey! Bingo! Even if it's not true, hey I'm making this big dumb dude's life sound more interesting today!

Socio um, oh my god, haha, so he was just slapping the crap out of his laptop so hard and oafily... oafily? Clumsily? Hey of clumsily is a word so is oafily. This big oaf just bear paws the hell out of this laptop and you see the screen just start flickering and wigging out. Lines and squares all over the screen that you know damn well aren't supposed to be there.

"Fuck bruh my shits busted! FUCK! FUCK THIS FUCKIN' GOD MUTHA FUCKIN DAYUMN PIECE O' SHEEEEIT MACBOOK!!!!!"

Oh wow it's a Macbook, eh? Damn! Ol' boy just whipped the thing out the window LMFAO!!! HAHAHA!!! Oh jesus I hope they edit out my LMFAO because that looks B-B-B-BAD in a promo LOL.

"Fuck you you piece of fuckin' shit! Fuck you!"

He's yelling through the big hole in the window and you'd normally expect to see a crowd of confused people looking up, I'm sure, but of course right now the streets are pretty low traffic so it's just like you're hearing this loud, deep voiced, gorilla sounding idiot scream obscenities out his hotel room window down at a broken laptop and it's echoing for miles. Miles.

With very little promo time left, Socio knows it's time to go hard AF. That quickly he just starts talking shit (or rather screaming it) out the window!

"And fuck this Anarchy bullfuckery bro! Who the fuck books a big ass match with rules nobody could ever understand? Fuck! Real cute bruh! Fuckin' bookers in the match be like: 'Let's make it so the match is so confusing and gay that nobody can possibly win it because nobody knows what's happening dude!' and we got this crackhead match they're calling the godforsaken Autistic Battle Royal. At first I didn't even know the fuckin' word they put in front of battle royal but then when I figured out it was a disease for people it made sense why I'd never hear about it bruh. I ain't no fuckin' artist broh!"

Checking his watch real quick, he freaks out about the time and just starts rattling names out like turds from a bucket.

"Fuck Mini Morbid! That bitch tried to eat my asshole out! I'ma fuck him the fuck up! Fuck Mastermind bro! That bitch cost me my fucking Lethal Tren Lotto finale shot match! That fuckin' couldn't hold his own jock as my partner so I had to hold it for him and that shit fuckin' stunk to high heaven! Fuck Osira Themis! Fuck her for having an easy name to say unlike her SEXY ass fuckin' bitch whore sister or mom or whoever it is, Artardum Thurmbuligans or whatever her name is. I hope Osira is a lot nicer than that dumb ass bimbo cunt she's related to and maybe I won't have to break her tits off!"

"Fuck AEW and fuck Jimmy Havoc! Red-X can eat my ass! That new Shooter can lick my big ass balls bro! Fuck Boris and fuck Putin and fuck Russian Rose I MEAN HOLY FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IS RUSSIAN ROSE??!? Let me tell you. SHE'S HOT! She's just as hot as Maxine!!! Bro with all the hotties in this Autist Death Battle I'm about to NUT ALL NIGHT LONG. Last minute SEXY ass entry Tila'i Tequila'i is in XWF too!? YES OH MY FUCKING LORD I CAN'T WAIT TO HANDLE YOUR SPANISH BODY BITCH!!!!!"