This promo opens with a Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 ad. Thunder Knuckles is wearing a doctor's get up.


America do you remember n1h1? Well, do you? Hoax. Convid-19. It's the Same damn thing people. Media driven bullshit.


Thunder Knuckles smiles into the camera.


Drezdin says we have nothing to fear. So, chill out. Quit buying all the fucking toilet paper and goddamned canned goods, you fucking pricks. Other people have to wipe their asses too.


The scene switches to Thunder Knuckles in a suit that was obviously filmed at a different time.





Don’t forget to vote Drezdin/Knuckles 2020. I’m Thunder Knuckles and approve this message.


Thunder Knuckles is in Lima, Ohio. Convid-19 is real, even after he was told it wouldn’t make it to America by the next President of the United States, Drezdin. Thunder Knuckles is sitting on a fancy leather armchair and knows he’s shooting a promo for his upcoming match with someone he likes, Noah Jackson.


Noah, don't we have better shit we could be doing right now? Honestly, ask yourself if this is even worth it. You're a smart guy. We don't need to do any of this, do we? Vinnie has us performing while there's a global pandemic going on. I could come out and shuck and jive. It worked for Hanari Carnes. Come on, I don’t deserve a Television title shot. I didn’t earn it. I couldn’t even beat Hanari Carnes in March Madness. Get the fuck outta here. I should be fighting BigD right now. Hanari Carnes would revel in the chance of getting to lose to you, Noah.


Thunder Knuckles shrugs as if he cared about titles in the first place.


Well, Noah, the title is yours. Alright, cameraman, that's a fucking wrap.


The cameraman shakes his head “no”. Thunder Knuckles is baffled by the cameraman's insubordination.


Listen, motherfucker, we can’t be here long. What don't you get about that?


The cameraman again shakes his head “no”. Thunder Knuckles isn't baffled anymore because he knows what's happening now.


If Jimmy told you to keep filming, you can straight fuck off, cameraman. Seriously, we need to leave.


The cameraman still refuses. When suddenly there is a loud knock on the door. Thunder Knuckles stays eerily silent and signals to the cameraman to keep quiet without placing his hands on his face.


POLICE! OPEN UP!


Thunder Knuckles signals the cameraman to follow him out the back. They slowly creep to the back door. Thunder Knuckles whispers to the cameraman.


I told you we had to leave, you stupid motherfucker.


Thunder Knuckles looks out a back window for the police and doesn't see any. Thunder Knuckles whispers again.


Alright, let's go and keep up.


The cameraman and Thunder Knuckles escape out the back door when one of the cops sees them.


FREEZE!


Thunder Knuckles immediately yells to the cameraman.


Run you fucking idiot!


Thunder Knuckles bolts while yelling out to the cameraman. The cameraman hesitated but followed Thunder Knuckles.


Stop right there!


Thunder Knuckles and the cameraman ran through some really nice yards at this point. Until, of course, they had to jump a fence. Thunder Knuckles has the cameraman give him a boost. Once over the fence, Thunder Knuckles waits for the cameraman to throw over the camera. Thunder Knuckles flawlessly catches the camera when he hears the cameraman getting tackled and arrested. Thunder Knuckles takes off running but before he does he yells at the police.


STAY SIX FEET AWAY FROM ME! SOCIAL DISTANCING, MOTHER FUCKERS!


Thunder Knuckles dips down a different road that leads to where homeless people congregate. Thunder Knuckles props up the camera. Once you can see Thunder Knuckles again he looks relieved.


So, where were we? Oh yeah, Vinnie Lane, that piece of trash. We’re expected to lay it all on the line while Vinnie sits back and collects a check. Where are our checks, Noah?

Anyway, I hope everyone stays safe and healthy. No shit. For real. Even Grandma Lem… Madison Dyson. I'm only doing this promo to fulfill my fucking obligations to XWF, NOT because I want to make Noah Jackson tap out. If I have to, I'll walk right down to that ring, in doing so, waste Vinnie’s money on midgets holding sparklers. Then tap out as soon as Noah puts me in a full nelson or any generic fucking hold that a referee would allow me to tap out of.


Thunder Knuckles gives a thumbs up to the camera… then he gives a deep cough.





Fuck.


Thunder Knuckles nervously walks over to the camera and shuts it off.